{"id":4419,"date":"2023-01-24T10:02:19","date_gmt":"2023-01-24T15:02:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joy-in-the-journey.com\/?p=4419"},"modified":"2023-01-24T10:02:23","modified_gmt":"2023-01-24T15:02:23","slug":"when-i-dont-feel-gods-lovingkindness-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/joy-in-the-journey.com\/?p=4419","title":{"rendered":"When We Don’t Feel Loveable"},"content":{"rendered":"
You’ve heard about the guy who had it all: riches, fame, prestige, complete, earthy autonomy. He had everything going for him, but made some really bad choices and crashed and burned. It’s hard to imagine how anyone can get on the other side of adultery, murder, and the hostile rebellion of a son. He certainly reaped what he sowed, but we can learn from him on steps we can take to salvage our hearts on the other side of sin.<\/p>\n
His troubles began one evening, when he really should have been working. In his leisure, a beautiful lady caught his eye.\u00a0 He did more than just take a second look. When the smoke cleared, her husband was dead and she was pregnant.\u00a0<\/p>\n
You’ve probably figured out by now, I’m speaking of King David, the man who wrote a majority of the Psalms. \u00a0It would be written of David that, in spite of his poor choices, he was a man after God’s own heart. [1]<\/p>\n
How can this be? How did his heart recover from such devastation? How do we recover when we sin? What do we do when we don’t even want to approach God because of the shame we feel? What do we do when we don’t feel loveable?<\/p>\n
Steps to Recovery<\/span><\/h3>\n
Into the Light<\/span><\/h4>\n
David didn’t voluntarily bring his sin with Bathsheba into the light. Nathan, the prophet of God, called him on it by using a story of a lamb, recorded in II Samuel chapter 12<\/span><\/em>.<\/strong><\/p>\n
David’s anger burned against the wealthy man in the story for taking the poor man’s lamb.<\/p>\n
He said to Nathan, \u00a0\u201cAs the\u00a0Lord<\/span>\u00a0lives, the man who has done this certainly deserves to die!<\/span><\/em><\/span>\u00a0<\/sup>So he must make restitution for the lamb four times over, since he did this thing and had no compassion.\u201d (verse 6<\/strong>)<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n
Then, in an instance, David’s sin was brought to light when Nathan said to him, \u00a0\u201cYou yourself are the man! (verse 7<\/strong>)<\/em><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n
Nathan went on to say,\u00a0 “<\/span><\/em><\/span>Now then,\u00a0the sword shall never leave your house, because you have despised Me and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife.\u2019<\/span>\u00a0This is what the\u00a0Lord<\/span>\u00a0says: \u2018Behold, I am going to raise up evil against you from your own household;\u00a0I will even take your wives before your eyes and give\u00a0them\u00a0to your companion, and he will sleep with your wives in broad daylight.<\/span>\u00a0Indeed,\u00a0you did it secretly, but\u00a0I will do this thing before all Israel, and in open daylight.\u2019\u201d<\/span> (verses 10-12<\/strong>)<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n
Not good outcomes for David when his sin was brought to light, but keeping things hidden is also very damaging. As hard as it is to bring the shame of our sin into the light, it must happen, and the sooner the better.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Hidden secrets, not only stifle us spiritually, but they can affect us in other ways.\u00a0 “The emotional, mental, physical and spiritual impact of secrets are well documented. In fact, research suggests keeping secrets can significantly boost stress hormones, impact blood pressure, inhibit sleep, contribute to mental health and substance use disorders and even increase chronic pain.” [2]<\/p>\n
Confession<\/span><\/h4>\n
Big or small, God wants us free from the weight and shackles of unconfessed sin.<\/p>\n
I believe one of the reasons David is called a man after God’s own heart is his quick, humble response.<\/p>\n
Then David said to Nathan, \u201cI have sinned against the\u00a0Lord<\/span>.\u201d (verse 13a<\/strong>)<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n
And Nathan said to David, \u201cThe\u00a0Lord<\/span>\u00a0also has\u00a0allowed your sin to pass; you shall not die.<\/span><\/em><\/span>\u00a0<\/sup>However, since by this deed you have shown utter disrespect for the\u00a0Lord<\/span>, the child himself who is born to you shall certainly die.\u201d (verses 13b – 14<\/strong>).<\/span><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n
As mentioned before, what David did had consequences which would follow him the rest of his life. But, in spite of this, David pressed into God not away from him.<\/p>\n
God’s ultimate goal is for us to be like Jesus. [3] He wants us to experience the freedom and joy of casting down idols and digging deeply into God and His ways.<\/p>\n
Pressing Deeply into God<\/span><\/h4>\n
What we see in David’s heart is an eager desire to draw closer to God. Rather than wallowing in shame, which would keep him from God, he asked for deeper cleansing and for the joy and gladness of being with Him.<\/p>\n
Purify me\u00a0with hyssop, and I will be clean;<\/span><\/em><\/span> Cleanse me, and I will be whiter than snow.\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/span>Let me hear joy and gladness,<\/span><\/em><\/span> Let the\u00a0bones You have broken rejoice.<\/span><\/em><\/span> Hide Your face from my sins<\/span><\/em><\/span> And wipe out all my guilty deeds (Psalms 51:7-9)<\/strong>.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n
\u00a0From what David wrote, we see he valued fellowship with God over walking in deceit. So much so, that he invited God to do further work in his heart so that deeper intimacy could occur.<\/p>\n
Create in me a\u00a0clean heart, God,<\/span><\/em> And renew a steadfast spirit within me (Psalms 51:10)<\/strong>.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n
The sacrifices of God are a\u00a0broken spirit;<\/span><\/em> A broken and a contrite heart, God, You will not despise (Psalms 51:17)<\/strong>.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n
It seems that because the sins were revealed and forgiveness was granted, David’s desire for God intensified.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Potentially, as Jesus pointed out to Simon the Pharisee concerning the sinful woman who washed his feet, our sin can deepen our love for the Lord.<\/p>\n
Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven\u2014for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little (Luke 7:47 ESV).<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n
But we must accept His grace, point our lives in a different direction, and depend upon His Spirit within us to live lives reflecting Jesus’ life. In other words, we need to follow Him.<\/p>\n
Turning Evil on It’s Head<\/span><\/h4>\n
Joseph, as he was speaking to his brothers concerning what they had done to him, saw evil from a much broader, eternal perspective.<\/p>\n
As for you,\u00a0you meant evil against me,\u00a0but<\/i> God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive (Genesis 50:20<\/strong>).<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n
God uses our confession and repentance from sin to bring us His joy and freedom. This has always been the case in my life, as I follow David’s example of asking for a pure and contrite heart. As God shows me my sin, and I follow David’s example of dealing with it, I see God’s hand at work in it all, in spite of my sin. God’s grace and forgiveness leads me into a deeper love of Him.<\/p>\n
Why would we ever want to hold onto that which causes us such inner turmoil instead of the joys of walking closely with God who created us?<\/p>\n
Though we will still struggle, as we follow David’s example in our lives, we can experience God’s love no matter what we’ve done.<\/p>\n
O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly;\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You,<\/span> In a dry and weary land where there is no water.\u00a0<\/span> Thus I have seen You in the sanctuary, <\/span>To see Your power and Your glory.\u00a0<\/span> Because Your lovingkindness is better than\u00a0<\/span>life, My lips will praise You\u00a0 (Psalms 63:1-3).<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n
Prayer<\/span><\/h4>\n
Lord, in Christ, I’m holy, blameless and beyond reproach. When I see this, and believe it by faith, I begin to feel Your lovingkindness, even in my failures and sin.<\/em><\/p>\n
I rest in Your love right now and I desire to walk in it throughout the day. Even when I go through hard times, Your love shines brighter and brighter. You are faithful. You are good. You are kind.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n
Please continue to reveal sin in my life and give me the courage and strength to follow hard after You no matter what.<\/em><\/p>\n
Amen<\/em><\/p>\n
Instead of your\u00a0shame\u00a0you will have a\u00a0double\u00a0portion,<\/span><\/em><\/span> And\u00a0instead of\u00a0humiliation they will shout for joy over their portion.<\/span><\/em><\/span> Therefore they will possess a double\u00a0portion\u00a0in their land,<\/span><\/em><\/span> Everlasting joy will be theirs (Isaiah 61:7<\/strong> NASB).<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n
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