I was teaching a two week interim class at the Governor’s School of Science and Mathematics in Hartsville, South Carolina. My mom had been complaining of abdominal pain for a few weeks. We hoped it was her diverticulitis, but when antibiotics didn’t clear it up, the doctor talked about something more serious. They scheduled exploratory surgery the day I was finishing up class.
I hadn’t heard anything when the class ended. So I headed home along a dark rural road. Suddenly my car lost all power. I clutched the steering wheel and navigated to the narrow shoulder of the road, as a massive eighteen wheeler whizzed by, shaking the car. Later, I discovered that my oil pump had failed, causing the engine to seize.
Almost simultaneously, my cell phone rang. It was my wife. Mom was out of surgery. She had stage three primary peritoneal cancer. I stumbled through a couple of questions, and ended the call.
I called a tow truck and settled in the darkness for them to arrive. The two events had happened so closely together, I could barely take them in. It all felt surreal. I was numb.
As I waited, I began to feel God’s presence. Slowly, but ever so steadily, I sensed the warmth of His peace. The feeling intensified to something I can only describe as joy. Not the kind which would cause exuberant celebration, but the deep joy of God being near, closer than a breath.
In spite of what had just happened, there was a strange understanding that everything was okay, no matter how things would turn out.
In His Presence is fullness of Joy. (Psalm 16:11b)
I learned from this experience that being okay is not a matter of my circumstances always working out, it’s about my being with God.
Redeemed
About a month later, my wife and I had church at Mom’s house one Sunday.
After singing a hymn, we read portions of Isaiah 43.
Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine (Isaiah 43:1b NASB).
When we finished reading, Mom said, “redeemed” in a way which made us think she had a new understanding of the word in this context.
Looking back I wonder if she’d first heard the word as a little girl, returning pop bottles at Coopers Grocery. I wish I’d asked her then.
Before that Sunday morning, she’d often ask me if she’d lived a good enough life to go to heaven. No matter how many times I reminded her that our “good life” doesn’t get us to heaven, she’d ask me the same thing later.
Seven months later, mom would be gone. Surgery and chemo left her weak and despondent. About a day before she died, my brother, sister and I showed up, unplanned, at her care facility. We were surprised we all picked the same time. We watched her unconscious breathing for a while. Each said our goodbyes, and walked out together. She would die before any of us would see her again.
After that Sunday morning, right after her diagnosis, she told me she was no longer afraid to die. Isaiah 43, and the presence of God’s Spirit, transformed her fear.
She believed that Jesus had lived that “good life” for her and that His death on the cross had redeemed her soul for eternity.
Even now, over twelve years later, this brings me indescribable joy.
Challenge
No matter what you’re going through right this moment, peace and the joy of the Lord’s presence are available.
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! 5 Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. 6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:4-7 NASB)
We can’t look for sustaining joy in our circumstances. The world offers much sorrow. Look instead to Jesus, the Sustainer of our souls.
The follow verse reminds us that God’s nearness is our ultimate good: But as for me, the nearness of God is my good. (Psalm 73:28b NASB 1995).
Sorrowful yet always rejoicing, (II Corinthians 6:10)
The juxtaposition of sorrow and rejoicing, in Paul’s life and in ours, captures the essence of faith
Prayer
Lord, thank You. You make me aware of Your joyful presence no matter what I face. It’s so easy for me to try and find joy in how I’m doing. Thank You that You want more for me than that. You give me deep, solid peace and joy which is unaffected by anything I face. Please keep me aware that You are my Delight, my Joy, my Life, my King. Amen.
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Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.
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