I Give Up

As I write I’m watching the meltdown of a squirrel. He (I’m assuming male) is perched on the base of the wire which holds our bird feeder, making noises and tensing his body angrily. He’s chattering loudly and then squawking so intensely that his tail shoots straight up into the morning sky. I don’t speak squirrel, but I’m pretty sure he’s completely frustrated. Since we added a witch hat shaped cone over our feeder, he can’t rappel down the wire anymore and drop down to feast on seeds. Every time he tries, the cone dumps him to the ground.

I must admit I get great pleasure watching him fail, but I also identify with his emotional outbursts. I’ve felt the futility of trying over and over again, yet falling off the cone of life onto the ground. My pattern is to sit in the pain of another foiled attempt, but then inevitably to climb the tree, rappel the wire and convince myself maybe I can grab the edge as I fall and grab a few seeds.

The squirrel may not be ready, but I am. I give up.

Pick an area. Family relationships, friendships, managing possessions, health, time, etc. I’ve come up short in all.

This morning I’ve come to the end of myself. Like my squirrel friend, I’ve frustrated myself trying to pattern my life after the Jesus I read about in the Bible.

In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus calls us to be perfect as our Father in heaven is perfect,[1] to love our enemies[2] and to keep our thoughts and words pure. These high standards are meant to bring us to surrender and dependence.

He wants me to give up more and more of me so  I can depend more and more on Him. As John the Baptist said, “He must increase and I must decrease.” John 3:30

Consider Jesus’ words, spoken the night before His crucifixion, “I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.”  John 15:5

Last night, I felt more desperate than ever. However, in the midst of my agony, I wasn’t hopeless. I knew God was near. As I called out,  He comforted me with His life.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,  who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.  For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ. II Corinthians 1:3-5

The pain is still very real, but He’s opened up space for His Living Waters of delight to flow in my soul.

“I” give up. “I” surrender and choose to depend upon Christ who indwells me by His Holy Spirit. I’m Not always sure how His life is to be released in me, but I’m asking Him to teach me how  to abide in Him moment by moment and how to  love each person He brings my way.

Prayer: Lord Jesus, last night I felt such agony with my life situations, but you comforted me with your presence.

In my pain, you brought hope and light. You gave me clarity and even joy. My deep guttural cries did not go unnoticed and unattended. You’re at work. You won’t relent. You won’t give up until you have all of me.

I’ve wanted freedom and have given you my heart, but I didn’t realize my surrender would require such deep surgery.

You do amazing work in my pain.

I give you permission to go deeper still.

[1] Matthew 5:48

[2] Matthew 5:43-44

Cheer up, We’ve Messed Up More Than We Thought, But …

“We fear if people ever truly knew us, they would not love us, but the truth is if people really knew us, they could truly love us” Jon Acuff

One of our pastors likes to refer to all of us, including himself, as ‘all jacked up.’  I don’t embrace this truth very well, but it’s intensely accurate. During the times I haven’t messed up too badly, I feel pretty good about myself. But when an area of my life begins to stink, I tend to go into denial. It’s easier to slather on the cologne and avoid thinking about it than to come to terms with how far I’ve missed the mark.

The truth is I am all jacked up. And I bring my imperfections into every area of my life, including my family, my job, my friendships, my… It seems the longer I live the more I realize I’m not the man after God’s heart I hoped I was. I’m not alone in this. Toward the end of his live, Paul called himself the foremost of all sinners.[1]  But even among such great company, I struggle to fully acknowledge my sin.

The Lie of Lovability

Lately, God has revealed a virus running through the operating system of my heart: The more perfect I am, the more lovable I am. Though I know its a lie, the less perfect I realize I am, the more unlovable I feel. I read what Jesus says about the sinner who washed His feet with her tears, “her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little loves little.”  (Luke 7:47b)

This verse is like anti-virus software targeting the specific lie which has caused havoc in my life. In Christ, God lavishes his grace upon me. What should keep me from opening up all the crevices of my heart to allow His loving grace and mercy to have full access?

Cheer up

“Cheer up! You’re a worse sinner than you ever dared imagine, and you’re more loved than you ever dared hope.” Jack Miller

Could it be that a fuller embrace of my sin will give me a deeper experience of His love?

God is eradicating this lie which causes me to shy away from a full realization of my sin. His great love for me is washing away guilt and shame, showing me something I never expected.

Being brutally honest with who I really am, with all my imperfections and sin, in all areas,  has far reaching benefits for me and for others:

  • Greater sin, greater love -As with the sinful woman, the more I see my sin and embrace God’s forgiveness, the greater I understand His love
  • Eradicating Defensiveness – If I know I’m loved, no matter how much I’ve messed up, I can fully accept, without denial, when others tell me I have broccoli in my teeth
  • Requires dependence – As long as I think I’m doing okay, patterning my life after the historic Jesus I read about in the Bible, I’ll keep grinding it out in my own effort. However, when I see the essence of what Jesus is teaching us in the Sermon on the Mount, that I can’t be perfect and can’t live the Christian life without him, I’ll begin to yield to His abiding Spirit
  • Brings freedom – Jesus says “the truth shall make you free.” (John 8:32b) When we give the Spirit full access to the crevices of our heart, we’ll experience the freedom to fully embrace our humanity with all its ugliness and fully rest in the love of Christ
  • Really Good News – Gospel means “good news” and when we truly understand that no sin is more powerful than the precious life blood of Jesus, this makes the gospel really good news.
  • My Grace Story Brings Hope to Others  When we share our junk and related victories, others can identify and hope is ignites in them. “If God can do that in his life and with his family, as jacked up as he is, He can surely help me.”

Challenge:  

  • Think of the imperfect areas of your life. This shouldn’t be too hard. As humans, our sin is kneaded into all aspects.
  • Of these areas, pick one that’s particularly hard to accept. This is probably an area you find some worth in. Just one for now. You can repeat the process if needed.
  • Spend some being brutally honest with the Lord about your sin in this area. Perhaps you’ve been in denial about the extent. Then, with no hesitation, receive the cleansing power of the shed blood of Christ for forgiveness and cleansing.
  • Rinse and repeat the challenge for other areas.

 Prayer: Most gracious, heavenly Father. I’m so sorry I hold my junk at arm’s length, not fully acknowledging my sin. Thank you for exposing the lie that tells me I’m unlovable when I’m not perfect. What a hideous message. I’m sorry for how my lack of brutal honesty with myself, has affected my freedom and perhaps even the freedom of others. Please keep me in absolute truth, exposing more and more of my junk, that you might use me to trumpet your lavishing love and unending grace to others.

“He predestined us to be adopted as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved. In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace, which He lavished upon us.Ephesians 1:5-8b 

[1] I Timothy 1:15

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Loving Others is More than Just a Nice Command

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. John 13:34-35

All of Scripture can be summed up in Jesus’ new command to love others as He’s loved us. But He’s Lord. We’re not. How can this quality of love be our norm, especially in the midst of life’s ups and downs? When life gets tough, loving others isn’t always our top priority. Yet, as we’ll see, loving others as He’s loved us is the key to our own fulfillment and Joy.

We Love Because He First Loved Us

We love because He first loved us. I John 4:19

Us loving  others has to start with God’s love for us. He is the source of all love. Human love is impure and self serving. We’re to be branches, yielding the fruit of love from Jesus, our vine.

But when the fact of God’s amazing love is hidden from us, we operate on our own, seeking love from others as we love.

What Quality of Love

Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God! I John 3:1

We’ll never fully grasp the enormity of God’s love for us, but the more we hear the truth and seek His understanding, the more our heart begins to grasp it’s enormity.

Jesus tells us He loves us as much as the Father loves Him (John 15:9)

Paul says God’s love for us and His supernatural power at work within us, is beyond  comprehension. (Ephesians 3:19)

God’s love is completely unselfish. Jesus demonstrated it when he washed the feet of men who would deny and betray Him, Peter and Judas. Then hours later, he died for us all,  His enemies.

Use your imagination a moment to consider this quality of God’s love for you. By faith, recon it true. Against all which would say otherwise, rest in His love. Shame has been destroyed. Striving has ceased. You’re in Christ and He’s in you. Rest.

From His Love, We love

Have you ever tried to love in your own strength? I have. It didn’t turn out well. Human love expects something in return. When we love without knowing God’s love, our love is self serving. But even if we experienced the greatest human love, we’d be left us incomplete and wanting. Only the  love of God completes us.

Christ did the work and in His love we’re to remain. Ours is not to strive, but to abide.

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.  If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love.  I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.  My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.  John 15:9-12

Jesus tells us how much he loves and commands us to remain  in His endless, relentless love. And the way we stay in His love is by loving others.

From His Love Springs Complete Joy

The great cadence of receiving God’s love and giving it away keeps us in the love of Christ and gives us great joy.

I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. John 15:11

Loving as Jesus has loved us, keeps us from needing anything from the world. We’re freed from circumstances,  success, the opinion of others and worldly peace. Loving others as Jesus loves us, completes our hearts and fills us to the brim and overflowing with God’s joy. Nothing remains for us to do but rejoice.

Why Knowing God’s love and Giving it Away is Harder than it Seems

Stay in God’s love. Love others sacrificially as we yield to His Indwelling Spirit. Rest in the complete joy of His presence and love.

It sounds easy, but we all know it’s not. That’s because our enemy knows he’s completely ineffective when we’re resting in Father God’s love. Keeping us from knowing God’s love is his primary goal.

For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses. We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ, II Corinthians 10:3-5 

Our enemy specializes in raising speculations and lofty things to block us from the knowledge of God’s love. He deceives us into doubting God’s love and settling for the world’s “love” to try and satisfy our deep longings.

But remember this. When we call upon Him, God will fight for us and free us from the enemy’s lies.

Know therefore today that the Lord your God who is crossing over before you as a consuming fire.  Deuteronomy 9:3a

Prayer

Lord, I thank you for your incredible love for me. I thank you that you go before me, destroying all that would hide your love from me. I’m learning to rest in your love and it’s the sweetest place on earth. Please keep me from moving from your love. Help me to wait upon you as you go before me, destroying all speculations and lofty things which would hide your love from me.

Thank you

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