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The Joy of Love

(In the Moments) Finding Joy in Love and Relationships

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Close to thirty years ago, I was mowing the lawn with the small tractor I inherited from my grandfather. D.B. Leatherwood was a famous lawyer in upstate South Carolina, but to me he was Pop. We were close. I grew up with only a rolling hill separating me from the house he lived in with my grandmother, Nene.

Pop was a self-made man. Orphaned at an early age and raised by his older sisters in the hills of North Carolina, he worked hard to earn a law degree from the University of North Carolina. He moved to Greenville to open his practice, and that’s where he met my grandmother.

Pop didn’t show affection, but I knew he loved me. On late summer afternoons he’d hit fly balls to me down the hill. His batting was pristine. I don’t remember him ever even fouling a ball. At dusk, as the cicadas began their serenade, he’d invite me up for a Pepsi and a bowl of cashews and Fritos. We’d sit in between the massive white columns on his front porch and “watch the world go by” along the busy street in front of his house.

As I navigated Pop’s old tractor around our small plot of grass, I thought of him. He took such good care of us when my father moved out. In my mind’s eye I could see him cutting our grass with his brimmed hat and plaid shirt, leaning in to keep the tractor balanced on the hills. He was like a father to me.

Remembering Pop that day, I felt what I must call joy. It was deeper than happiness and more than just a feeling. Briefly, the difficulties of balancing leading a young family, with four children, and a stressful IT job appeared insignificant. My joy became an eternal, larger-than-life experience.

Looking back, I recognize part of the sweetness was the nostalgic remembrance of my childhood, but the gladness and joy stemmed from my relationship with Pop and our mutual love for each other.

My encounters with joy seem to always involve a loving relationship, mostly with God, but also with the people I cherish.

The Joy of Loving

Scripture confirms how tightly coupled love and joy really are.

David, who loved God with a passion well documented, wrote in Psalm 16:11 (NASB) “You will make known to me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.”

When David was with God, soaking in His presence, he experienced fullness of joy. 

David’s loving worship dripped with joy.

“For You, O Lord, have made me glad by what You have done. I will sing for joy at the works of your hands.” (Psalm 92:4)

And David’s continual posture of loving God brought joy to his heart and gave him courage, especially in the face of many difficulties.

As Saul’s men watched the house to kill him, David wrote to the Lord, “But as for me, I shall sing of Your strength; Yes, I shall joyfully sing of Your loving lovingkindness in the morning.” (Psalm 59:16).

Our love of God, which extends to others, fills our hearts with joy. 

The Joy of Jesus

Jesus showed the interwoven connection with loving and joy in His life.

After Jesus washed His disciples’ feet, He said, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.” (John 13:34)

He went on to say that if we loved others in the manner in which He has loved us, two amazing things would happen: We would live in His love, and His complete joy would be ours. [1]

And concerning Jesus’s joy, the love connection is clear. In Hebrews, we read that His love for us gave Him the joy He needed to endure the cross and secure our salvation.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Hebrews 12:1-2)

The Challenge

Check your heart. At this moment, circumstances may be pleasant, or you may face hard trials. Are you encouraged or discouraged? Do you have courage or not? Courage, fueled by a joyful heart, is what we need each day. 

Where do we find joy? It’s very easy to seek it from the world’s commodities: fortunate circumstances, pleasantries, and fleeting affections that promise much but produce nothing but pain.

Do we depend on the happenings of life to keep our hearts glad? Certainly, there is much in this life to enjoy, but genuine joy, the kind that yields lasting strength and courage, comes from loving God first and then loving others as He’s loved us.

When this occurs, we taste the freedom God desires for each of us, freedom to love and truly enjoy what He’s given us.  

Jesus said, “Just as the Father has loved Me, I also have loved you; remain in My love. If you keep My commandments, you will remain in My love; just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and remain in His love. These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full. This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you.” (John 15:9-12).

In these verses the requirement to love for us to experience joy cannot be clearer. May we determine to fill our days in worshipful love of God, thanking Him, praising Him and adoring Him. May we bask in His lovingkindness and love Him with everything within us. As we love and draw near to Him, joy overtakes us because He is fullness of joy.

Prayer

Lord, if I’m not careful, my heart gets attached to my circumstances. When this happens, my courage to face life’s challenges wanes and flows based on my sense of how I’m doing. You have repeatedly directed me to love. This redirects my heart to You, my fullness of joy.

May I continually yearn to praise, thank, and love You each day. Please help me slow down enough to listen to You and to love the folks You bring my way, even those who hurt me. For this is the example You set for us when You washed Peter and Judas’ feet.

When I love, You fill my heart with gladness and joy, giving me the courage to face what comes my way.

When I stray from this single focused determination to love, please guide me quickly back.

I love You, Lord.

Amen.

“Do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength” (Nehemiah 8:10b NASB).

[1] John 15:9-12

Other posts in our series In the Moments:

As Sea Gulls Fly

It is Finished

Behold the Moments

Tranquility

Stop Striving

Simplicity In Christ

What is Good

Yet Will I Rejoice

Sorrowful, Yet Always Rejoicing

Exploring Grace and Joy together

Stay Present My Friends

Quiddity. It Could Change Your Life

The Cake Maker’s Blunder

God at Work (No Trespassing)

Hidden with Christ in God

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 

Robby Buck

Nonfiction books by the Author:

Because joy is rooted in God and is eternal, it doesn’t ebb and flow with the waves of circumstances. In fact, as we grow in our understanding of joy, we can even experience it more acutely when life is hard. Why? Because God uses trials to conform us into the image of Christ. With this awareness, which gives us glimpses of God’s greater purposes, we rejoice because of His masterful work to free us from needing anything but Him.

For these reasons, and many others, joy in the Lord is commanded in scripture. It’s not just a good idea, it’s vital to our journey as human beings. Rhythms of Joy

Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in an old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains

Please Check out the  Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

Complete Joy, Our Greater, Unshakable Purpose

Repurposed. Exposing the Fragility of “normal” Agendas.

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A friend ended his job last year, but he didn’t retire. He called it repurposing. Being an extremely successful executive, he’s shifted his experiences and resources to helping the homeless. This current pandemic has disrupted daily routines and shaken our purposes. One man exclaimed, “No sports! What am supposed to do now?” Many have been forced to shift from the well-worn paths of familiar agendas. But while lesser purposes are crumbling an unshakable all satisfying purpose emerges.

Hours before Jesus would be crucified on our behalf, He said: “This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you.”[1]

He demonstrated this uncommon love earlier when he washed the disciples’ feet. Completely secure in His Father’s love, Jesus needed no affirmation from men. This allowed Him to feely wash Peter and Juda’s feet, whom He knew would soon deny and betray Him.

As followers of Jesus Christ, we are loved in this same complete way. He’s inviting us to settle in and remain in His great love: “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.” [2]

As we prepare to love like Jesus, we must start with resting in and feasting upon His love for us. “We love, because He first loved us.” [3]

A dear lady took this opportunity to write notes to older folks in our church. She included a verse (Psalm 34:4)  and comforting words of encouragement. God gave her the words to write. She offered her time and pen.

After she mailed them, folks began to contact her, sometimes in tears. Joy reigned. A friendship began.

Gladness continues to fill her heart, even though she had to be tested for the virus herself a few days later.

Her having such joy in loving others makes perfect sense. See what Jesus said about us to sacrificially love others: “These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full.” [4]

What if loving others is what life is really all about? What if we get a clearer vision of this greater purpose in these dire days? What if loving becomes our main daily agenda? What if “normal” activities are not the main thing, but the opportunity to bring us folks to love? What if we now understand we can have complete joy in spite of any circumstance?

God can and is using this virus for good in folk’s lives. Perhaps what seems like repurposing is really just leading us to our main purpose all along – knowing God’s love and giving it away?

Lord, the path ahead is unclear, yet You’re near. Even in uncertain times, You comfort, You guide, You gladden our hearts. Thank you for the joy I’m experiencing because of my union with You. Who do you want to love through me today?

[1] John 15:12 NASB

[2] John 15 9 NIV

[3] I John 4:19

[4] John 15:11 NASB

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures. Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 Novels by the Author:

Beyond Time

Hope Remains

Complete Joy, Completely Loved

The Joy of Decreasing

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Before he was thrown into prison and beheaded, John the Baptizer spoke into a dispute his disciples were having. They were bothered by the fact that folks were going to Jesus to be baptized instead of them. John told them, “A man can receive nothing unless it has been given him from heaven.”[1] He said, “I must decrease and He must increase” [2] He spoke of rejoicing and being full of joy in yielding his life to Jesus.[3]

As we yield our lives to the Lord, this frees us into the joy of caring for and focusing on others. In Philippians, Paul tells us to fight for the interest of others, to stop caring just for ourselves.[4] He says to pattern our lives after Jesus’ life, who emptied Himself and was obedient to the point of death on a cross.[5]

Then he writes, “But even if I am being poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrifice and service of your faith, I rejoice and share my joy with you all. You too, I urge you, rejoice in the same way and share your joy with me. (Philippians 2:17-18 NASB)

Being poured out – rejoicing and joy. We’re starting to see a pattern here.

In Romans 15, Paul challenges us not to live to please ourselves, but to patiently empower others.[6] He calls God a fountain of hope who fills us to overflowing with uncontainable joy and perfect peace as we trust our lives to Him.[7]

There’s overwhelming evidence that self-promotion, self-glorification, self-serving and self-effort is the antithesis of joy. God is calling us to pour our efforts towards others. This means we must trust ourselves to His care.

 Before Jesus washed the disciples’ feet, John gives us a peek into His thoughts. “Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come forth from God, and was going back to God, rose from supper, and laid aside His garments; and taking a towel, He girded Himself about.” (John 13:3-4 NASB)

Peter would deny Him and Judas would betray Him, yet Jesus washed all his disciples’ feet. He needed nothing from men. He trusted in His Father’s complete love. And this same love is available to us.

Jesus tells us, “Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love.” (John 15:10-12 NIV)

Jesus tells us how to remain in the Lord’s love and how to complete our joy. As you might guess, it has to do with loving and caring for others.

 If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. (John 15:10-12 NIV)

Following Jesus’ example of trusting His Father’s complete love and loving others sacrificially fills us to the brim with the Joy of Jesus.

Joy doesn’t come from promoting ourselves. It comes from trusting, from yielding, from decreasing, from loving others because our life belongs to God.

The Kingdom of God flows in opposition to the world. The world says – look out for yourself, seek your happiness and you’ll be satisfied. Jesus says empty yourself and trust your Father with your well-being. Serve others sacrificially and your Joy will be complete.

[1] John 3:27b

[2] John 3:30

[3] John 3:29

[4] Philippians 2:3-4

[5] Philippians 2:5-8

[6] Romans 15:1-2 TPT

[7] Romans 15:13 TPT

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures. Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post once a week. Thank you for reading. 

Novels by the Author:

Beyond Time

Hope Remains

Eternal Joy, God's Greater Purposes

Done Trying to Fix Life? (Embrace God’s Greater Story)

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Lost in a Temporary World

Have you ever been so into watching a movie or TV series you forgot about the ‘real world’ for a while? I suppose that’s part of the appeal. For a period of time we can get so lost in what’s happening on the other side of a screen, we forget about the duties and challenges we’ll face when we’re done. Or maybe we’ll watch another episode.

First Thing Happiness 

In his book, A Different Kind of Happiness,[1] Larry Crabb awakens us to the fact that we’re all part of an eternal reality which supersedes what goes on before our eyes. This larger story, orchestrated by God, will not be thwarted. Crabb calls us to stop focusing on the temporary world and our endless pursuit of happiness. He calls this kind of circumstantial happiness – second thing happiness.

Rather he urges us to travel the narrow road of seeking what he calls first thing happiness or joy. First thing happiness is unaffected by how our lives are going because it flows from God’s larger story. He says loving like Jesus is what keeps us in the flow of God’s greater purposes.

“Loving like Jesus, self-sacrificially and not self protectively, produces first thing happiness.”[2]

Loving Like Jesus 

The night before He was crucified, Jesus demonstrated His love by washing the disciples’ feet, a duty typically done by the servants of the house. Jesus even washed the feet of Judas and Peter, whom He knew would betray and deny Him. Later that same night, He gave one command, which if we obey it, will keep us in His love and complete our joy.

9 “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you (John 15:9-12 NIV).

There are amazing facts in these verses:

  • Jesus loves us as much as God loves Him (Verse 9)
  • Jesus commands us to remain in His love, then he tells us how (Verse 9, 10,12)
  • Jesus says if we love others as He’s loved us, we’ll remain in His love (Verses 10,12)
  • Jesus says these things to give us His Joy and to make our joy complete (Verse 11)

In Summary 

If we love others sacrificially, as Jesus has loved us, we’ll experience His joy, a joy not based on circumstances, a joy fueled by His love.

Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God (Hebrews 12:2b NASB).

As Crabb puts it:[3]

  • Determine to walk life on the narrow road, not focusing on temporary happiness.
  • Live your life in the larger story of what God’s doing
  • Engage the battle for a better love, loving as Jesus has loved us
  • Look at life from above the sun, not from under the sun

The way Paul states this last point is: Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory (Colossians 3:1-4 NASB).

See II Corinthian 4:16-18 for another great example of living in God’s larger story.

Personal Experience 

These rhythms of focusing on God’s eternal story and not being so concerned with my own happiness has been a real paradigm shift in my life. I have a long way to go, but the shift is gaining traction. What helps is when my focus and prayer of the day is, Lord, who do you want to love through me today?

Throughout these days I can be tempted to leave this focus and go back to fighting for smooth circumstances and pleasant moments. However, when, by the abiding Holy Spirit, I keep the duties as the second thing and focus on the people, the results are most encouraging.

Through this evolving process, trusting in God’s sovereignty and His greater purposes produces growing hope and joy, even during personal difficulties.

And, not having to fight for own my happiness is extremely freeing.

As this new journey on the narrow road unfolds, the duties are not the main thing, but the pathways to the people God wants to love through me. The difficulties bring me into the flow of God’s larger story of freeing every human heart to find satisfaction and contentment in Christ alone.

[1]Larry Crabb,  A Different Kind of Happiness (Baker Books, 2016)

[2] Ibid, p 21

[3] Ibid, p 222

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 Novels by the Author:

Rob Buck

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in a old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains

Loved by God

Loving Others is More than Just a Nice Command

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A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. John 13:34-35

All of Scripture can be summed up in Jesus’ new command to love others as He’s loved us. But He’s Lord. We’re not. How can this quality of love be our norm, especially in the midst of life’s ups and downs? When life gets tough, loving others isn’t always our top priority. Yet, as we’ll see, loving others as He’s loved us is the key to our own fulfillment and Joy.

We Love Because He First Loved Us

We love because He first loved us. I John 4:19

Us loving  others has to start with God’s love for us. He is the source of all love. Human love is impure and self serving. We’re to be branches, yielding the fruit of love from Jesus, our vine.

But when the fact of God’s amazing love is hidden from us, we operate on our own, seeking love from others as we love.

What Quality of Love

Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God! I John 3:1

We’ll never fully grasp the enormity of God’s love for us, but the more we hear the truth and seek His understanding, the more our heart begins to grasp it’s enormity.

Jesus tells us He loves us as much as the Father loves Him (John 15:9)

Paul says God’s love for us and His supernatural power at work within us, is beyond  comprehension. (Ephesians 3:19)

God’s love is completely unselfish. Jesus demonstrated it when he washed the feet of men who would deny and betray Him, Peter and Judas. Then hours later, he died for us all,  His enemies.

Use your imagination a moment to consider this quality of God’s love for you. By faith, recon it true. Against all which would say otherwise, rest in His love. Shame has been destroyed. Striving has ceased. You’re in Christ and He’s in you. Rest.

From His Love, We love

Have you ever tried to love in your own strength? I have. It didn’t turn out well. Human love expects something in return. When we love without knowing God’s love, our love is self serving. But even if we experienced the greatest human love, we’d be left us incomplete and wanting. Only the  love of God completes us.

Christ did the work and in His love we’re to remain. Ours is not to strive, but to abide.

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.  If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love.  I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.  My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.  John 15:9-12

Jesus tells us how much he loves and commands us to remain  in His endless, relentless love. And the way we stay in His love is by loving others.

From His Love Springs Complete Joy

The great cadence of receiving God’s love and giving it away keeps us in the love of Christ and gives us great joy.

I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. John 15:11

Loving as Jesus has loved us, keeps us from needing anything from the world. We’re freed from circumstances,  success, the opinion of others and worldly peace. Loving others as Jesus loves us, completes our hearts and fills us to the brim and overflowing with God’s joy. Nothing remains for us to do but rejoice.

Why Knowing God’s love and Giving it Away is Harder than it Seems

Stay in God’s love. Love others sacrificially as we yield to His Indwelling Spirit. Rest in the complete joy of His presence and love.

It sounds easy, but we all know it’s not. That’s because our enemy knows he’s completely ineffective when we’re resting in Father God’s love. Keeping us from knowing God’s love is his primary goal.

For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses. We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ, II Corinthians 10:3-5 

Our enemy specializes in raising speculations and lofty things to block us from the knowledge of God’s love. He deceives us into doubting God’s love and settling for the world’s “love” to try and satisfy our deep longings.

But remember this. When we call upon Him, God will fight for us and free us from the enemy’s lies.

Know therefore today that the Lord your God who is crossing over before you as a consuming fire.  Deuteronomy 9:3a

Prayer

Lord, I thank you for your incredible love for me. I thank you that you go before me, destroying all that would hide your love from me. I’m learning to rest in your love and it’s the sweetest place on earth. Please keep me from moving from your love. Help me to wait upon you as you go before me, destroying all speculations and lofty things which would hide your love from me.

Thank you

Home Remains – latest novel by the author