Turning Drainers into Gainers

My bride and I have begun to identify and communicate aspects of our lives which replenish as well as those which deplete us. Inspired by a friend, we call them “gainers” (gives energy) and “drainers” (takes away energy). This practice has helped us to be more intentional about seeking to fill our souls, as well as brace for, and avoid if possible, those things which drain us.

We’re noticing an overall improvement in our mood, especially as we work together. We’ve found activities, like walking outside and extended quiet times which are mutual gainers. We’ve also discovered that what might be a drainer for one (wrapping presents for me, doing the dishes for her) could be a gainer for the other. Identifying these things, and taking on the drainers of the other, is allowing us to communicate more deeply and support each other in ways we wouldn’t have discovered otherwise. Recently, we took on a mutual drainer (Walmart, in the cold rain, right before Christmas). 

Acknowledging the shared experience, and jokingly coaching each other through, almost turned that drainer into a gainer. 

I’m also bringing my feelings of depletion to the Lord. Rather than ignoring and stuffing how I feel, I’m asking Him to bring truth to the areas which tend to drain my courage and cause dis-courage-ment.

Lately, I’ve become aware of an increasing amount of anger and hatred in the world. It seems see a lot of people are in pain and hurting people hurt others. Relational pain can be accentuated during the holidays and be very draining.

Another drainer can be our current circumstances compared to how we thought our lives would turn out.

Following are a couple of truths to bring courage to our hearts when we feel depleted.

We’re Completely Loved by Christ

On the night before He gave up His life to reconcile us into intimate fellowship with the Father’s love, Jesus said, “Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in my love.” (John 15:9)

Paul tells us we’re complete, filled to the brim in Christ.[1] God’s love for us fills every crevice of our longing hearts.

When people treat us in hurtful ways, deserved or not, it can be a real heartache. We can deny the pain or try and numb it, but these copings never work. We need to tend to our hearts.

 

Ponder the love of God which surpasses knowledge. Accept by faith that God delights to be with you. Allow the Joy of His nearness to soothe and comfort your heart; the Oil of Gladness to replenish what was lost.

Our Life is Hidden in Christ

As believers in Jesus Christ, Paul tells us we died and our life is now hidden in Christ.[2] One implication of our spiritual death is that more and more we’re surrendering what we want to what Christ wants for us. He wants us to be conformed into His image[3] and that God be glorified in every word and deed of our lives.[4]

When circumstances are rough, we can feel depleted. But God has an eternal story for each of us. He’s working, especially in the hard times, to help us realize He’s all we need. This knowledge can turn circumstantial drainers into eternal gainers.

 Prayer: Lord, thank for Your unconditional, eternal love for us. Please destroy all lies which hide this amazing fact from us. Allow us to walk around in the completeness of Your love, no matter how we feel. Thank You that you have an eternal story going on for each of us, plans which can’t be thwarted. You desire for us to delight in You above all things. Thank You for not allowing us to settle for earthly happiness. In Your presence is fullness of joy.[5]

 [1] Colossians 2:9-10

[2] Colossians 3:3

[3] Romans 8:28-29

[4] I Peter 4:11

[5] Psalm 16:11b

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures. Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post once a week. Thank you for reading. 

Novels by the Author:

Beyond Time

Hope Remains

God’s Love in a Broken World

He was despised and forsaken of men, A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; (Isaiah 53:3a NASB)

It’s a cold rainy day and we don’t have to go anywhere until later. I’m soaking in the comfort of being with my bride and our dog before a warm fire. Sipping my coffee, I’m reveling in the reality of God’s presence. I don’t always feel His nearness, but I know He indwells me and is always closer than breath. I’m learning to find my completeness in His love no matter how unloving the world around me might be. For me, the path to experiencing His love more fully has been through sadness.

Until recently, I believed sadness was to be avoided at all costs. How could it be good? How can I function during it?

But I’ve noticed when I avoid dealing with my sorrow, I’m not being true to myself. I feel detached. I’m learning pain is there for a reason and I can’t afford to deny it. My heart must be tended to.

What’s helped me more that anything is knowing Jesus was known as a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief. My Savior understands. When I bring my pain to Him, His comfort is real.

He said, “In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33b NASB)

We live in a broken world. What goes on now is not what will be. But Jesus invites me to draw near to Him in my sadness. When I do, the joy of His nearness overshadows my pain.

 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. (II Corinthians 1:3-4 NASB)

 When I tend to my heart and call Jesus near in my pain, the Man of Sorrows meets me. His nearness is the oil of gladness which soothes the crevices of my crusty heart. It’s strange how dealing with grief, and not avoiding it, can be the path to experiencing a deeper measure of God’s love.

Hannah Hurnard, in her book Hind’s Feet on High Places, writes of Much-Afraid’s travels with Sorrow and Suffering. They were unwelcome, but very necessary companions on her journey to the top of the mountain. When she arrived, her Shepherd, the King gave her new names of Grace and Glory. Her companions Sorrow and Suffering were renamed Joy and Peace.

I’m understanding the value of not running from Sorrow and Suffering in my own journey. Though these companions aren’t comfortable, they usher me to the Comforter who give me a Joy and Peace which can not be shaken by any circumstance.

There are so many broken hearts in this broken world. Creation groans for the redemption of the bodies of God’s adopted sons and daughters at Christ’s return.[1]

In the midst of Sorrow and Suffering, Christ offers a deeper measure of His Love in the Joy and Peace of his nearness. He is our Comforter, waiting to be called near.

For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for a lifetime; Weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning. (Psalm 30:5 NASB)

 Lord, I’m sorry for running from sadness. What a relief to know that sorrow and suffering are a part of your path to Joy and Peace. I’ve spent so much effort trying to carve out a happy heart when all along it was okay to be sad. Please teach me to tend to my heart in times of sorrow and not seek only a carefree life. I’m amazed how much more I understand your love for me because of my journey with Sorrow and Suffering. Thank you.

[1] Romans 8:22-24

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures. Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post once a week. Thank you for reading. 

Novels by the Author:

Beyond Time

Hope Remains

Comfort and Joy Revealed

 One of my favorite Christmas songs is God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen. The lyrics include, “Let nothing you dismay. Remember Christ our Savior was born on Christmas Day. To save us all from Satan’s power when we were gone astray. Oh, tidings of comfort and joy.”

These words speak to me. I want to walk around in comfort and joy, but I need to understand what this really means. I have to admit,  I love comfort (ease and freedom from pain and grief). Don’t we all? From my soft down pillows to my built-in propensity to pursue relief from pain at all costs, I’m a comfort junkie.

But this kind of comfort can’t be what’s meant by the words. Christ’s coming hasn’t signaled ease and pain-free living. Far from it. To reconcile the difference,  I turn to Scripture:

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ. (II Corinthians 1:3-5 NASB)

Somehow Paul is able to mention affliction (pressure, a pressing together, tribulation, distress) and comfort in the same sentence? He calls the Lord the God of all comfort, able to comfort us in all our afflictions. I know God’s isn’t an Eternal Pain Relief. He is able to relieve all pain, but often He chooses to supersede our sufferings with the Joy of His presence. The Greek word Paul used for “comfort” means to call to one side, to summon near. True comfort is God’s nearness.

When I found out about my mother’s cancer moments after my Sebring’s motor seized up, leaving me stranded on a barren rural road, I sensed God’s nearness. It didn’t alleviate the pain, but His presence gave me a deep sense of well-being. My outer world was crashing down around me, but I sensed a joy deep within. Would I have known the extent of His Comfort and Joy without that experience? I don’t think so.

The night before He died, Jesus told His disciples about the “Comforter” sent to be with us forever, His Holy Spirit.

  • Comfort and Joy is always available
  • Comfort and Joy is not a feeling
  • Comfort and Joy is a Person

Rest merry Gentlemen. In the Joy of God’s Presence, there’s nothing to dismay. Remember. Christ,  Our Savior, was born on Christmas day. He’s saved us all from Satan’s spell, even when we’d wondered far away. In Christ,  there’s true Comfort and Joy no matter what comes our way.

Lord, when I began pondering the words of this song earlier today, comfort and joy were far from me. The swirl of the world had distracted me from the joy of Your nearness. Thank you for bringing me back to the simplicity of Your continual presence. Your Comfort and Joy is much more powerful than any earthly happening. Please help me to always remember this. 

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures. Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post once a week. Thank you for reading. 

Novels by the Author:

Beyond Time

Hope Remains

Longing Hearts

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted , And saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18 NASB)

Holidays can be hard when we’re missing folks we love. Longings brought on by death, distance and estrangement are extenuated during times of togetherness and celebration. These situations affect most families. Common survival techniques include pretending, numbing and busyness. They don’t work.

As the holidays approach, I’ve been asking God for His comfort when people I love are absent. I’m asking for clarity and a deeper understanding of His love. I know He’s with me through all of life’s struggles, especially when my heart aches.

In the comfort of His nearness I’m learning:

God’s Love Fills Every Fiber of My Longing Heart

David wrote:

“My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You in a dry and weary land where there is no water.”[1]

“One thing I have asked from the Lord, that I shall seek: That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, To behold the beauty of the Lord, And to meditate in His temple.”[2]

“You have put gladness in my heart , More than when their grain and new wine abound.”[3]

As much as I miss folks who are absent, there’s a growing awareness of God’s nearness and His preeminent love. His love fills my longing heart to overflowing.

Henri Nouwen calls God’s love our first love and all other loves second. He says we get crushed when we begin to demand from lesser loves what only God can give.[4] “God has created you and me with a heart that only God’s love can satisfy. And every other love will be partial, will be real but limited, will be painful.”[5]

Human absence Deepens Dependence on God’s Love

Nouwen also said that if we’re willing to not let the pain of lesser loves make us bitter, it will prune us and give us a deeper sense of our being beloved by God. When this happens, we can be free as Jesus.[6]

As much as the absence of those we love can hurt,  it can drive us deeper into the unfailing love of God in Christ. This growing awareness of God’s unconditional, never ending love fortifies our longing hearts and infuses us with the Joy of God’s nearness.

Resting in God’s Love Frees us to Love

Jesus said, “As the Father has loved Me, so I have loved you; Now remain in My love.” (John 15:9 NIV)

As I’m learning to walk in God’s love for me, soaking in the completeness of His embrace, He’s bringing freedom. Unchained from incapacitating grief, I can love the people who are near, as He’s loved me.

Lord, You’ve heard the pain of my longing heart. You’re teaching me of Your great love. Human love was never meant to satisfy. You complete me, freeing me to love with no expectations.  If I can’t be with the ones I love, allow me to love the ones I’m with.  

[1] Psalm 63:1

[2] Psalm 27:4

[3] Psalm 4:7

[4] Documentary – Journey of the Heart: Henri Nouwen

[5] The Hour of Power June 1992

[6] Documentary – Journey of the Heart: Henri Nouwen

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures. Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post once a week. Thank you for reading. 

Novels by the Author:

Beyond Time

Hope Remains