Tag Archives: pain

Trusting God through very hard times, Waiting

When God Says Wait

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Growing up, I had an idealistic scenario of what I hoped my future would be like. My aim was a life of peace and circumstantial happiness. But it didn’t take long to realize reality is far different.

When I gave my life to Jesus Christ, I figured it would be much better since I’d chosen the right path. What I didn’t factor in is true life is about something far greater than comfort and smooth circumstances.

God is working for my good, but He alone knows what that is. Sometimes we face hard, confusing situations. Jesus tells us we’ll experience troubles , but we wonder why since all they seem to produce is pain. [1]

In a broken relationship my wife and I are facing with a close family member, God seems to have erected a ‘God at Work – No Trespassing’ sign. We’ve done all we know to do.

We pray ferociously. We cry out. We wait.

The following steps help:

Don’t Pretend 

Don’t pretend all is well. Acknowledge life is different than you had hoped. Accept the loss and feel the pain.

Lord, I call You near in the depths of my grief. You’re the God of all Comfort. Sooth my pain with the Joy of Your presence.[2]

Celebrate God’s Faithfulness

Celebrate the fact that God has seen you through tough times before and trust He will do it again in this situation.

Lord, You’ve been so faithful through so many difficulties. Looking back, I certainly see how You’ve used these trials for me to give up trying to live life on my own and to trust You.[3] The eternal work You’ve done in my soul makes this very hard situation worth it.  It has strengthened me emotionally and spiritually. It has drawn me closer to my bride.

Stop Fretting

Fret – to be worried or anxious.

Catch yourself in the act of fretting about what you can’t change. This is in the Lord’s hands. Decide to stop trying to figure things out.

Lord, I trust You to invite me into this difficulty when You’re ready. I don’t want to thwart what You’re doing. In the meantime, I trust You’re at work in the lives of all involved in ways I may never understand.

Focus on What’s Beautiful

Focus on the beautiful things on this side of the ‘God at Work’ sign.

With the birds, celebrate the waking of the new day. Look your loved ones in the face and take in every precious moment. Stay present. Engage your senses in all of God’s moments. Savor. Acknowledge God’s nearness in every detail of His creation.

Though we may feel as if we’ve failed, in Christ, we believers are complete. [4] and no situation can change that.  We died, and our lives are now hidden with Christ in God.[5]

Lord, in You I’m okay, even if this situation is never resolved. I’m free to enjoy life’s moments with You, in spite of  any unexpected situation. 

Take Time to Draw Near

But as for me, the nearness of God is my good; (Psalm 73:28a NASB)

Lord, my heart is ready to be glad. In you, I rejoice always, even when life takes a turn which threatens my sense of well being. Through it all, my eyes are on You. My faith is growing because of this hard reality in ways I would have never thought possible.  I draw closer to You every day because of it. I don’t need this situation to work out to be okay.

You are enough.

My life is oriented from things above where I’m seated with You. My comfort is not the most important thing. Please continue Your work while I wait.

Yet those who wait for the Lord
Will gain new strength;
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary.  (Isaiah 40:31 NASB)

[1] John 16:33

[2] II Corinthians 1:3-5

[3] II Corinthians 1:8-9

[4] Colossians 2:9-10

[5] Colossians 3:3

Other Posts on enduring Hard Times:

When Things Get Hard

Turing Drainers into Gainers

Can we be Sad and Glad at the Same Time?

Casting Your Burdens

Knowing God’s Love in Spite of the Circumstances

Mustering our Faith

Fixing Our Hope on What Lasts

Dealing with Sadness and Disappointment

I Can’t Do This

Longing Hearts

Until the Darkness Fades

Finding the Silver Lining

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in a old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains

God's Comfort, God's Love

God’s Love in a Broken World

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He was despised and forsaken of men, A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; (Isaiah 53:3a NASB)

It’s a cold rainy day and we don’t have to go anywhere until later. I’m soaking in the comfort of being with my bride and our dog before a warm fire. Sipping my coffee, I’m reveling in the reality of God’s presence. I don’t always feel His nearness, but I know He indwells me and is always closer than breath. I’m learning to find my completeness in His love no matter how unloving the world around me might be. For me, the path to experiencing His love more fully has been through sadness.

Until recently, I believed sadness was to be avoided at all costs. How could it be good? How can I function during it?

But I’ve noticed when I avoid dealing with my sorrow, I’m not being true to myself. I feel detached. I’m learning pain is there for a reason and I can’t afford to deny it. My heart must be tended to.

What’s helped me more that anything is knowing Jesus was known as a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief. My Savior understands. When I bring my pain to Him, His comfort is real.

He said, “In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33b NASB)

We live in a broken world. What goes on now is not what will be. But Jesus invites me to draw near to Him in my sadness. When I do, the joy of His nearness overshadows my pain.

 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. (II Corinthians 1:3-4 NASB)

 When I tend to my heart and call Jesus near in my pain, the Man of Sorrows meets me. His nearness is the oil of gladness which soothes the crevices of my crusty heart. It’s strange how dealing with grief, and not avoiding it, can be the path to experiencing a deeper measure of God’s love.

Hannah Hurnard, in her book Hind’s Feet on High Places, writes of Much-Afraid’s travels with Sorrow and Suffering. They were unwelcome, but very necessary companions on her journey to the top of the mountain. When she arrived, her Shepherd, the King gave her new names of Grace and Glory. Her companions Sorrow and Suffering were renamed Joy and Peace.

I’m understanding the value of not running from Sorrow and Suffering in my own journey. Though these companions aren’t comfortable, they usher me to the Comforter who give me a Joy and Peace which can not be shaken by any circumstance.

There are so many broken hearts in this broken world. Creation groans for the redemption of the bodies of God’s adopted sons and daughters at Christ’s return.[1]

In the midst of Sorrow and Suffering, Christ offers a deeper measure of His Love in the Joy and Peace of his nearness. He is our Comforter, waiting to be called near.

For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for a lifetime; Weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning. (Psalm 30:5 NASB)

 Lord, I’m sorry for running from sadness. What a relief to know that sorrow and suffering are a part of your path to Joy and Peace. I’ve spent so much effort trying to carve out a happy heart when all along it was okay to be sad. Please teach me to tend to my heart in times of sorrow and not seek only a carefree life. I’m amazed how much more I understand your love for me because of my journey with Sorrow and Suffering. Thank you.

[1] Romans 8:22-24

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures. Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post once a week. Thank you for reading. 

Novels by the Author:

Beyond Time

Hope Remains

Trusting God through very hard times

God at Work (No Trespassing)

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Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6 NASB)

When I was younger, I had an idea of how I thought my life would turn out, or at least how I hoped it would. I expected good health, peaceful relationships and smooth circumstances. I figured things might turn out differently, but what I didn’t realize is how much I’d tied my sense of well being to how my life was going. As a result, when the inevitable, unexpected twists occurred, I found myself on shaky ground, searching for something lasting to fill my need for joy. Perhaps you can relate.

It’s a midspring morning. I take a sip of my favorite kind of coffee, strong and dark with a little bit of stevia and cream. I’m beginning to feel the sun’s warmth cutting through the new day coolness, but it’s not high enough to blaze over the leafy green canopy. There’s no break in the constant symphony of birds singing above and in the forest beyond.

I want to celebrate the new day with as much melodious joy as these birds, but I need to be sure I’m still trusting God in these unexpected paths my life has taken. I have no doubt He’s with me, but in one situation He’s erected a ‘God at Work’ sign and He wants me to honor it. He’ll invite me in when He’s ready. In the meantime, my job is ferocious prayer.

A neighbor, walking her dogs, sees me and walks down the driveway to chat. She asks about our new dog, Lily, rescued off the streets on Good Friday.

We talk about shade flowers and how my bride and I plan on adding some color to our water garden next to the porch.

When she leaves, I continue my preparation for the new day. Years ago, I would have denied the gravity of the very painful parts of life, feeling what I could, stuffing the rest and keeping on best I could. But now that I’m learning how to properly steward my feelings, I see how denying emotional pain desensitizes my heart and makes it hard for me to discern God’s nearness.

If I’m to truly rejoice with the birds, I need to rehearse the steps I believe God has given me to help me honor His ‘God at Work’ sign in this very hard situation.

  • Don’t try to pretend all is well. Acknowledge my life is different than I hoped. Accept the loss and feel the pain. Lord, I call You near in the depths of my grief. You’re the God of all Comfort. Sooth my pain with the Joy of Your presence.[1]Celebrate the fact that God has seen me through tough times and trust He will do it again in this situation. Lord, You’ve been so faithful through so many difficulties. Looking back, I certainly see how You’ve used these trials for me to give up trying to live life on my own and to trust You.[2] The eternal work You’ve done in my soul makes this very hard situation worth it. When it first began, I would have never thought this to be the case, but now my heart tells me it’s true. This very hard situation has strengthened me emotionally and spiritually to the point that it is actually worth it. Thank You Lord.
  • Catch myself in the act of feeling bad about what I can’t change. This is in the Lord’s hands. Decide to stop trying to figure things out. Lord, I trust You to invite me into this difficulty when You’re ready. I don’t want to thwart what You’re doing. In the meantime, I trust You’re at work in the lives of all involved in ways I may never understand.
  • Focus on the beautiful things on this side of the ‘God at Work’ sign. Even though this situation is one I never expected, it doesn’t make my life incomplete. It’s easy for me to feel like a failure, but in Christ, I am complete.[3] I died, and my life is now hidden with Christ in God.[4]  Lord, in You I’m okay, even if this situation is never resolved. I’m free to enjoy life’s moments with You in spite of, and in the midst of, any unexpected situation. 

But as for me, the nearness of God is my good; (Psalm 73:28a NASB)

Lord, my heart is ready to be glad. In you, I rejoice always, even when life takes a turn which threatens my sense of well being. Through it all, my eyes are on You. My faith is growing because of this hard reality in ways I would have never thought possible.  I draw closer to You every day because of it. I don’t need this situation to work out to be okay.

You are enough.

My life is oriented from things above where I’m seated with You. My comfort is not the most important thing. Please continue Your work while I wait.

Lord, as I walk into this new day, show me who You want to love through me. Complete my joy as I love others as You’ve loved me, abiding always in Your love.[5]

Yet those who wait for the Lord
Will gain new strength;
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary.  (Isaiah 40:31 NASB)

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures. Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 Novels by the Author:

Beyond Time

Hope Remains

[1] II Corinthians 1:3-5

[2] II Corinthians 1:8-9

[3] Colossians 2:9-10

[4] Colossians 3:3

[5] John 15:9-12

God is our Life, Surrender and Dependence

I Give Up

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As I write I’m watching the meltdown of a squirrel. He (I’m assuming male) is perched on the base of the wire which holds our bird feeder, making noises and tensing his body angrily. He’s chattering loudly and then squawking so intensely that his tail shoots straight up into the morning sky. I don’t speak squirrel, but I’m pretty sure he’s completely frustrated. Since we added a witch hat shaped cone over our feeder, he can’t rappel down the wire anymore and drop down to feast on seeds. Every time he tries, the cone dumps him to the ground.

I must admit I get great pleasure watching him fail, but I also identify with his emotional outbursts. I’ve felt the futility of trying over and over again, yet falling off the cone of life onto the ground. My pattern is to sit in the pain of another foiled attempt, but then inevitably to climb the tree, rappel the wire and convince myself maybe I can grab the edge as I fall and grab a few seeds.

The squirrel may not be ready, but I am. I give up.

Pick an area. Family relationships, friendships, managing possessions, health, time, etc. I’ve come up short in all.

This morning I’ve come to the end of myself. Like my squirrel friend, I’ve frustrated myself trying to pattern my life after the Jesus I read about in the Bible.

In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus calls us to be perfect as our Father in heaven is perfect,[1] to love our enemies[2] and to keep our thoughts and words pure. These high standards are meant to bring us to surrender and dependence.

He wants me to give up more and more of me so  I can depend more and more on Him. As John the Baptist said, “He must increase and I must decrease.” John 3:30

Consider Jesus’ words, spoken the night before His crucifixion, “I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.”  John 15:5

Last night, I felt more desperate than ever. However, in the midst of my agony, I wasn’t hopeless. I knew God was near. As I called out,  He comforted me with His life.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,  who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.  For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ. II Corinthians 1:3-5

The pain is still very real, but He’s opened up space for His Living Waters of delight to flow in my soul.

“I” give up. “I” surrender and choose to depend upon Christ who indwells me by His Holy Spirit. I’m Not always sure how His life is to be released in me, but I’m asking Him to teach me how  to abide in Him moment by moment and how to  love each person He brings my way.

Prayer: Lord Jesus, last night I felt such agony with my life situations, but you comforted me with your presence.

In my pain, you brought hope and light. You gave me clarity and even joy. My deep guttural cries did not go unnoticed and unattended. You’re at work. You won’t relent. You won’t give up until you have all of me.

I’ve wanted freedom and have given you my heart, but I didn’t realize my surrender would require such deep surgery.

You do amazing work in my pain.

I give you permission to go deeper still.

[1] Matthew 5:48

[2] Matthew 5:43-44