Tag Archives: difficulties

(In the Moments) The Remarkable Link Between Joy and Grace

October 28, 2024 robuck4@aol.com 2 Comments

It’s a cool late summer morning. Fall is in the air.

As I sip my dark coffee, laced with sugar free peppermint mocha (not sure it’s good for me, but it is tasty), I listen to the sound of our man-made mountain brook outside the porch. A cool breeze whips across my face, carrying the scent of tea olives in full bloom. Looking up from my writing, I notice the multiple shades of green leaves awaiting the signal to change colors and float to the ground.

I’m in a very contemplative mood. In fact, I feel quite weary. There are plenty of tough circumstances to go around. We’ve had three deaths in our family in the last few years. Folks we love are struggling with addiction. Some don’t know Jesus. The thought of them facing an eternity without Him is sobering. So many are dealing with lost jobs, broken relationships and life-threatening illnesses.

Even though, in John 16:33, Jesus tells us this will be the case, it doesn’t make it easy to deal with such pain. “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (NIV)

Sometimes, when I remember the nearness of Jesus, He infuses me with the courage to handle these troubles. Other times, I get lost in the details and negative situations. I think it comes down to my perspective. When I can gain an eternal view, even during hard times, my outlook is different.

Right now, my heart is heavy, and I need God’s truth.

Turning to the Bible, I read a verse that if someone said it to me right now, I’d take it as a trite answer and consider them very insensitive.

It’s I Thessalonians 5:16 – “Rejoice Evermore.”

Rejoice Evermore! This unconditional command seems impossible. With all that’s going on, rejoicing is the last thing I want to do. But, since God said it, I’ll take this as an invitation to dig deeper, asking Him to show me how this is possible.

Lord, how is it possible to rejoice evermore?

To Obey God Requires Abiding Dependence Upon the Holy Spirit

Before digging into the verse more fully, I have to pause and admit my inability to obey any of God’s commands in my strength. After years of trying to be like Jesus without Jesus, I’m fully convinced the Christian life requires an abiding dependence upon the indwelling Holy Spirit of Jesus to fully follow Him.

Abiding is not just a delightful idea, it’s the essence of the Christian life. Paul summed it up beautifully in Galatians 2:20-21:^“I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me. I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness comes through the Law, then Christ died needlessly.”

Our life now is a life of dying to self and yielding to the indwelling Holy Spirit. Christ gave Himself up for me and, if I revert to living independently, I’m nullifying His death for me.

Living a life of self-fueled “obedience” leads to burnout and deeper sin. “It’s all up to me” is a lie from the pit of hell. It’s prideful and sinful.

Learning what it means to rejoice evermore doesn’t differ from any other command. Yielding to the Holy Spirit within me is the only way to obey it.

What Does it Mean to Rejoice Evermore?

When Paul tells us to rejoice, he uses the Greek word “chairo,” which means to be cheerful, calmly happy, or well off, to be glad. The word “chairo” originates from the root word “charis,” which means grace or unmerited spiritual blessings granted to those who trust in Jesus Christ.

The Greek words for “rejoice” and “grace” share a close connection. Feeling joyful is a common response to receiving and experiencing God’s grace. One of the fundamental aspects of joy involves having faith and seeking peace in Christ’s righteousness, rather than focusing on my own achievements.

“Evermore” originates from the Greek term “pantoteh,” signifying always, or at all times. I’m to remain glad all the time because of the spiritual blessings God has freely given me. All times!

When I’m grieving, my joy comes from God, fullness of all joy, and the grace He’s given me.
When life is fun and my wife and I are loving hanging out with our grandkids and kids, my joy comes from God, fullness of all joy, and the grace He’s given me.
When relations are strained or broken, my joy comes from God, fullness of all joy, and the grace He’s given me.
When life seems stale and plain, my joy comes from God, fullness of all joy, and the grace He’s given me.
When I’m afraid and worried, my joy comes from God, fullness of all joy, and the grace He’s given me.

I’m always living in a physical world, with actual trials, problems, and heartaches. So, if I am to make this command to “rejoice always” a legitimate part of my life, I can’t forget certain spiritual truths based on the “grace” or unmerited favor given to me.

Rejoicing in God’s Grace

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him. In love He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved. In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace which He lavished on us. (Ephesians 1:3-8a NASB).

Rejoicing in God’s grace, shown to me in His love and sacrifice for my sins, sustains me and gives me courage.

Before the world began, God Almighty chose to love me as His child. The cruel death of His Son Jesus, the Messiah, secured my eternal relationship with Him, my new Father. This was all done for the praise of God’s grace. He lavished His grace upon me, abounding and overflowing, manifested in the shedding of Jesus’ life blood.

This is how I rejoice evermore. Regardless of what I’m going through, the root of joy is God’s grace, expressed in His love. It happened before the world began, so nothing can change His grace for me today.

In God’s Grace, I Rejoice Evermore.

God’s grace gives me a peace which is greater than any circumstance I can face, including the very hard difficulties I face today.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6-7 NASB).

In my opinion whatever we may have to go through now is less than nothing compared with the magnificent future God has planned for us (Romans 8:18 J.B. Phillips Translation).

Challenge

What is your current weariness? Can you name it? Or perhaps you’re in a season free of troubles. These are rare. Be extremely thankful.

For the rest of us, sink into the deep connection between God’s grace and our full joy. People never earn God’s grace, and it doesn’t change with each passing circumstance or human choice.

Ours is to choose His grace for our life, both now and forever.

With grace, as an unbelievably interlinked component of the same root word, there’s rejoicing.

²⁸“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30 NIV).

Come. With all that burdens your heart, come and stay with Jesus. It’s what He wants.

With Him, we have grace and full joy, which results in true rest for our souls.

Prayer

Despite the ongoing hard times and unresolved problems, I find joy in You, Lord, as Your word has given me courage. Please help me take each care and concern and cast them upon You because You care for me.

Please help me to stop striving to make everything “okay” in my world. Your nearness is my good. My hope and stability are in You. I rejoice in the grace You showed me before I was even born. And I know nothing can change that.

In You, and in Your love and grace, I rejoice evermore.

Amen

Other posts in our series In the Moments:

Sorrowful, Yet Always Rejoicing

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading.

Robby Buck

Nonfiction books by the Author:

Because joy is rooted in God and is eternal, it doesn’t ebb and flow with the waves of circumstances. In fact, as we grow in our understanding of joy, we can even experience it more acutely when life is hard. Why? Because God uses trials to conform us into the image of Christ. With this awareness, which gives us glimpses of God’s greater purposes, we rejoice because of His masterful work to free us from needing anything but Him.

For these reasons, and many others, joy in the Lord is commanded in scripture. It’s not just a good idea, it’s vital to our journey as human beings. Rhythms of Joy

Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for? Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in an old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains

Please Check out the Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

Daily Rhythms, Discipleship

Packages (Epilogue, Walking it Out)

September 12, 2024 robuck4@aol.com Leave a comment

Since I didn’t have to be at work until later that day, Alfred and I continued discussing the dream until 9:30. He found it encouraging too. Through our conversation, we established some daily routines:

As much as possible, begin each day with unhurried time with God
Talk with Him about who we know we’ll be encountering that day and ask Him to allow us, through His Sprit, to love each person, planned or not, with the same quality of love He loves us
Be prayerfully intentional about loving and leading our families, especially our wives
Be deliberate about being present during the moments of the day
Don’t look past people in order to return to duties
Continually cast each responsibility and care upon the Lord and trust Him to weed out what’s unnecessary
Orient our lives from the fact that we’ve been raised with Christ and are, even now, seated in heavenly places with Him
Find our joy and satisfaction in the Lord, not our circumstances and accomplishments
See each moment from an eternal perspective, being bold to explain our hope in Christ and to announce the Lord’s great mercy towards us

A Hundred Days Later

As much as I wanted it, the dream on the packages never returned, but the impression it made has grown stronger.

Alfred and I agreed to meet weekly to support each other in our daily routines. We weren’t perfect, but we managed to have unhurried times of solitude with Father God at least five times during most weeks.

We began our times along with God by praising Him, acknowledging His presence, and listening for His guidance. Although we didn’t follow the same Bible reading plan, due to different programs in our churches, we always shared at least one impactful truth from God’s word to uplift each other during our weekly breakfasts.

Aware of whom we might encounter each day, we established a rhythm of morning prayers and spontaneous prayers throughout the day. We sought to remain in Jesus’ love, relying on the Holy Spirit to help us love others with the same depth of love He has for us.

Additionally, we encouraged one another to create margin in our lives for unforeseen chances to show God’s lovingkindness.

We extended grace to each other when we fell short and ended each time in prayer.

Alfred excelled in the practice of being present throughout the day. He endeavored to employ all his senses while performing his duties as an administrative assistant at a large law firm. Whenever someone entered his office space, be it in person or electronically via phone, text, or email, he sought divine guidance on how to fully engage and serve each “customer”. He admitted that initially, it was challenging, and there were times he went half a day without a thought of God. However, he persisted, and during those gaps He thanked God when He was brought again to an awareness of His presence. Then he resolved to concentrate on maintaining his focus on Jesus as often as he could going forward,

I was more irregular in my practice of abiding, but Alfred’s encouragement led me to increasingly and consciously surrender to the Holy Spirit of God within me multiple times a day.

Passing it On

One morning, Alfred couldn’t hide his huge grin as Tammy, our regular waitress, poured our coffee. Tammy must be the finest server in the South. Alfred and I alternate paying for our weekly breakfasts, always leaving her generous tips. As a single mother and now a grandmother, she’s familiar with our routine and usual breakfast bowls, to the extent that, by 6:30 every Wednesday morning, our table was waiting for us and our condiments already laid out.

“Tammy,” Alfred said, as she finished pouring my coffee. “Set us up for four next week.”

“Okay,” she said with a smile. “The usual?”

We both nodded. Occasionally one of us will be enticed to go with chicken fried steak, eggs, grits or hashbrowns and grilled biscuits. But that usually happened when the other was paying.

When Tammy had gone, I asked Alfred what was up with the table for four.

“Apprenticeship,” Alfred began, “What if you wanted to become a bricklayer? And you knew of a master who had been a successful bricklayer for years and years. What would you do first to learn how to follow his path?”

I thought for moment and then replied. “First, I’d want to be with him as much as possible during the workday to watch him, learning to become like him in his brick laying methods.”

“Great answer,” Alfred replied, his grin getting even larger. “Then what?”

“Eventually, I’d begin laying brick on my own doing what he did.”

“Exactly!” Alfred said, as Tammy brought our bowls and refilled our coffee. “And that’s the answer to your question.”

“What question?” I asked as I poured white pepper gravy on my bowl and passed the deliciousness to Alfred.

“Your question of why I asked Tammy to set four places next week,” Alfred answered. “You and I have been intentional about being with Jesus alone and meeting together to talk about our experiences. By the power of the Holy Spirit, we’ve sought to be like Jesus, praying for each other along the way.

“We’ve sought to follow Him as His disciples. I believe the next step in our apprenticeship is to do what He’s taught us to do to others. [2]

“I have a young man I work with who recently decided to believe in Christ’s finished work for his salvation. And I’d like to ask him to join us, if you’re okay with that.”

“Sure,” I answered. “But what about me? Who could I ask?”

“How about your son?”

[1] John 15: 9-12

Joy in the Journey is about the

gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading.

Nonfiction books by the Author:

Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for? Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in a old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains

Please Check out the Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

Turning the To-Do List on its Head

Packages (The Dream Ends)

August 31, 2024 robuck4@aol.com Leave a comment

Then I awoke, not on the packages, but in my own bedroom. Beside me, my wife, whose name isn’t Jill, was still sleeping. I’d experienced a lucid dream spanning a week, yet in reality, it was only a few hours.

It was predawn. I dressed, brewed a cup of Cuban coffee and proceeded to the porch, my favorite place to watch the sun rise.

I took out my journal and detailed the events and individuals from the seven days encompassed by the dream. The scenarios and characters were fictitious. However, some elements were familiar.

I don’t have a neighbor named Alice. Nevertheless, I’ve engaged in discussions with colleagues, in my field of IT, about Jesus and Him not being religious.

I don’t have a friend named Fred suffering from pancreatic cancer, but I do have several close friends who are facing serious illnesses.

I don’t have friends named Sammy and Milly with a son named Alton, but I wish I did.

I don’t have a co-worker named Kevin facing personal challenges and showing interest in my faith. However, I do work closely with someone I pray will stop believing God and science can’t co-exist.

I don’t have colleagues like Harrison and Mike who desire to inflict as much pain on me as possible, but I have a person, who is closer than a co-worker, who seems to have that agenda.

As the sun started to tint the grey sky with soft pastels, I jotted down the themes that came to me while I rested on the packages.

During the seven days of dreams, as I listened to His voice, I learned:

To love others as Christ loves me
To converse with God, who is ever-present, and to listen as I go
That He will guide me in loving each person He places in my path
To fully “see” people around me and not quickly move past people to the next obligation
To yield to His kindness as I love
That my life is brimming with the abundant grace of God
That I am appointed as an ambassador of Christ to convey His grace
To always be prepared to discuss the Hope of Christ within me
That difficulties, such as Fred’s cancer, are not surprises to God
To recall God’s love for me during tough times
Not to gauge my happiness by my circumstances
That individuals like Alton, with special needs, bring extraordinary joy
When I seek comfort from God, He endows me with joy and courage
That I possess no righteousness of my own, only the righteousness of Christ

By then the sun was in full view and I knew exactly what I needed to do. I called my spiritual mentor, Alfred. He agreed to meet me for breakfast.

After ordering our usual bowls of grits, poached eggs, crumbled bacon, and biscuits, I shared the dream with him. Confident in his wisdom, I believed he could provide some meaningful insights.

I also shared with him the notes I’d written earlier that morning.

He was patient as I recounted my story, asking a few clarifying questions. Afterwards, I asked him for his overall thoughts and possible interpretation.

Alfred paused a moment, then said, “Your times on the packages seem like a picture of our position in the heavenlies with Christ. The timeless dawn, vivid colors, and what I’m calling an ocean of love, give me a sense of what heaven must be like. I had goose bumps as I listened.

“Reminds me of verses like Colossians 3:1-4, and Ephesians 2:4-7 where it speaks of believers being raised with Christ and seated with Him in heavenly places. Your dream gave me a glimpse of being with Christ in heaven, yet still living on earth.

“This is a real gift, Bobby. You’ve been given an eternal peek into our heavenly position, an almost “real life” perspective of what Paul meant when he commanded us to set our minds on things above, not on temporal things. [1]

“What do you think the packages represent?” he asked.

“At first, I thought it was up to me to deliver them all, I responded. “That speaks to how full of duties my life feels. I can be so busy that people, and opportunities to love, can seemed like obstacles to taming the task list. But now I’m realizing much of my to-do list is from me and not God.

“Those packages are not tasks, they’re bundles of God’s love: His kindness, His peace, His joy, His presence to be given as presents to others.

“Though I’m very saddened at how I’ve been, I can hear you tell me that God’s mercies are new every morning.”

Alfred nodded.

My eyes began to sting as I continued, “Alfred, I’ve waisted so much of my life striving to fill a bottomless chasm in my heart that screams – ‘I’m not enough.’

“Though in my head, I’ve known it’s about Christ’s righteousness, my heart hasn’t caught up yet. It believed it was up to me to earn His love, to succeed, to please.

“Until now,” I said, a spark of joy rising in my heart. “Because of the gift of a dream, my whole world has been turned upside down.

“Alfred, you’ve patiently loved me and guided me all these years. You know how distracted I’ve been.”

Alfred smiled and nodded.

“This dream has turned my to-do list on its head. My duties are no longer the main thing. My goal now is to love.

“I feel so much more present. I want to truly see the Sammys God brings my way and not just pass them by to check off another task on my never-ending task list.

“No! Completing my tasks without problems is no longer my main goal. Delivering God’s daily packages of love is what I want to be about.

“I’ll trust Him to get done what needs to get done. The tasks are now simply the paths God uses to bring me to the folks He wants me to love.”

Alfred laughed with joy. I knew at that moment it’s what he’d been praying for me all these years.

Stay Tuned for The Epilogue, Walking it Out.

[1] Colossians 3:1-4

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading.

Nonfiction books by the Author:

Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for? Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in a old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains

Please Check out the Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

Joy in Trials

(In the Moments) Sorrowful yet always Rejoicing

August 13, 2024 robuck4@aol.com 4 Comments

Sorrowful yet always rejoicing (II Corinthians 6:10)

I was teaching a two-week interim class at the Governor’s School of Science and Mathematics. My mom had been complaining of abdominal pain for a few weeks. We hoped it was her diverticulitis, but when antibiotics didn’t clear it up, the doctors talked about something more serious. They scheduled exploratory surgery the day I was finishing up my class.

I hadn’t heard anything when the class ended, so I headed home along a dark rural road. Suddenly my car lost all power. Navigating to the narrow shoulder of the road, a massive eighteen-wheeler whizzed by shaking the car.

My cell phone rang. It was my wife. Mom had a form of stage 3 ovarian cancer. Hanging up the phone, I felt numb.

But then a strange peace welled up deep in my soul. A sense of God’s presence filled me with unusual joy. Not the kind of joy which would cause glad shouting. But it was a firm realization that because God was with me everything was okay.

I learned from this experience that being okay is not a matter of circumstances always working out. Being okay is about us being with God and Him being with us.

A few months later my mother would die. However, the Lord used Isaiah 43 to speak to her heart about being redeemed.

But now, thus says the Lord, your Creator, O Jacob,
And He who formed you, O Israel,
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name; you are Mine!
²“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they will not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched,
Nor will the flame burn you (Isaiah 43:1-2)

Before then, she’d always ask me if she’d lived a good enough life to go to heaven. No matter how many times I reminded her that our “good life” doesn’t get us to heaven, she’d ask me the same thing later. But then God enlightened her heart with the truth. She understood Jesus had lived that “good life” for her and had redeemed her soul for eternity. She trusted in Jesus for her salvation before she died. This brings me unspeakable joy.

Challenge

No matter what you are going through right this moment, joy is available in God’s presence. He is our Comforter. Call Him near. Verbally or in writing, seek the Lord as you tell Him what you’re going through.

Sustaining joy can never be found in our circumstances. This world has many troubles.

Joy is found in the presence of God.

Behold Him and He will BE your strength and joy.

Prayer

Lord, thank You that, in spite of very difficult circumstances, You made me aware of Your joyful presence. It’s so easy for me to try and find joy in my circumstances and feelings. Thank You that you give me a deep rock-solid joy which is unaffected by ANYTHING I face. Please keep me aware that You are my Delight, my Joy, my life. AMEN.

Other posts in our series In The Moments:

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading.

Robby Buck

Nonfiction books by the Author:

For these reasons, and many others, joy in the Lord is commanded in scripture. It’s not just a good idea, it’s vital to our journey as human beings. Rhythms of Joy

Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for? Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in an old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains

Please Check out the Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

Rest

Packages (Part 7)

August 11, 2024 robuck4@aol.com 2 Comments

The next morning on the packages the events of the previous day swirled in my soul. I checked with Kevin after Alice’s party, and he predicted the batches would be completed by early evening.

Alice’s party was hard for me. I’m not a good chit-chatter with folks I don’t know very well. I did have a good conversation with one of Alice’s grandson’s Jeff, who’s studying Computer Science at the University of South Carolina.

His eye’s widened when I told him about carrying around punch cards for writing COBOL programs back in the late 70s. Things have changed so much Jeff wasn’t even sure what COBOL was.

“It stands for Common Business Oriented Language,” I explained. “It was developed by Admiral Grace Hopper. COBOL emerged 1959. and it’s still used a lot today in banking, insurance, and other large data industries.”

As I shared my enthusiasm about computing history with Jeff, I could see his eyes beginning to glaze over. I shifted the conversation and asked some questions about him.

Then he surprised me, “Granny says you’re a religious person, is that right?”

Simultaneously, I heard. “Be very real.”

“Actually, I’m not, Jeff.”

I could tell my answer took him back. I was ready to say more, but heard, “Wait. Give him space to process and respond.”

After a moment, he said, “But I thought you went to church a lot.”

“I do, but that doesn’t make me religious,” I replied. “Growing up, I saw religious people as judgmental, fun zapping and stuffy, so I avoided them.”

“I don’t understand,” Jeff replied. “How can you go to church and avoid religious people?”

I went on to explain that religion is following rules, Christianity is following a Person, Jesus Christ. I told him there are two ways to get to heaven; be perfect or be carried in by Someone who is.

He seemed very interested and asked a lot of questions, especially about what Christ’s crucifixion really meant.

I gave him some passages to read and showed him how to get the Bible app on his phone. He was amazed when I told him how Jesus was not a religious person either.

“In fact,” I said. “Take a look at Matthew 23:1-12. You’ll see how angry Jesus was at the religious leaders of his time. They were all about rule following, not God following.”

It was a nice conversation, but I had a restless night thinking about all that was going on.

As I continued to think about the day before, I heard Him say, “Rest. Bobby, you are worried and bothered by many things,”

Recognizing that these were the words, Jesus said to Martha in Luke 10:38-42, I responded, “But only one thing is needed.”

In the story of the two sisters, I’d always identified with the busy older sister, named Martha. But I’d longed to be like Mary, who sat at Jesus’ feet listening to His words.

Mary cared more about Jesus than accomplishments.

I wanted to be like Mary, but I was much more like Martha.

“You can be like Mary, but you must trust Me deeply,” He responded to my thoughts.

How?

“To be like Mary, thoughts of yourself must end; thoughts of doing, thoughts of pleasing, thoughts of measuring up must be replaced by trust; trust in what My Son did on the cross. He did it all for you. He brought you back from annihilation. He freed you. He completed you. He is worth all your attention.

When you do, He’ll take care of everything else.”

He said no more that morning.

Later, Sammy and Milly joined us for church. The sermon was on Psalm 27, particularly verse 4.

Again, I would hear about “one thing.”

One thing I have asked from the Lord, that I shall seek:
That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the Lord
And to meditate in His temple.

“How’d you like the sermon,” Jill asked Sammy and Milly, as we enjoyed our lunch at Lizard’s Thicket after church.

“I liked the focus on worship,” Sammy replied.

“Yes,” Milly chimed in. “Could life really be as simple as the one thing of worshipping God? What about all the things we have to do? We can’t just forget about them.”

“I’ve thought the same thing,” Jill added. “I was reading about this verse in a book about worshiping. The author mentioned that David’s one thing of desiring God above everything else was the mainspring for everything else in his life, his commanding, his ruling, his writing, everything.” [1]

“Wow, that makes a lot of sense,” said Sammy. “That softens the conflict in my head. Like the story of Mary and Martha and how Jesus told Martha that one thing is needed.”

I couldn’t believe what was happening. The very thing I heard on the packages that morning, was playing out before my eyes in a deep conversation. I was about to mention the packages for the first time to anyone, when my phone vibrated.

Glancing at my watch, I saw it was Kevin.

“Excuse me,” I said. “I need to take this.”

As I stepped outside and answered the phone, I heard, “Rest.”

“You okay,” I asked.

“Not at all,” Kevin exclaimed tersely. “I knew you were at church and wanted to be sure our process was still going. On my way in, I passed Mike driving away. I don’t think he saw me.

“When I got upstairs, the server was off. When I rebooted, I was able to restart the remaining batches. But the abrupt termination of the one which was running has corrupted a large block of data. And it was for the new client.”

I tried to console Kevin, but he came unglued. He was going to resigned on the spot, but I told to hold on until I got there

To Be Continued

[1] How to worship Jesus Christ by Joseph S. Carrol, pages 22-26

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading.

Nonfiction books by the Author:

Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for? Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in a old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains

Please Check out the Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

Choosing Joy, Eternal Joy, Joy in Trials

(In the Moments) Yet will I Rejoice in the Lord

July 26, 2024 robuck4@aol.com 2 Comments

Wrightsville beach. One of our favorite places to get away and replenish. The warmth of the sun, the cool breeze of the mornings, the constant rhythmic sound of the surf, the expanse of the ocean against the light blue horizon. Delightful. A small butterfly lands on my bride’s finger, a kiss from her Father in a moment when love was hidden.

For most of my life, I’ve seen problems as negative. However, I’m learning a new perspective.

James tells us to, “count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds in trials,” [1] but these verses, and others like it, are hard to get my heart around. Trials, hardships and problems don’t seem to correlate with joy.

In the time of Habakkuk, the Lord brought forth the Chaldeans, mounted on horses faster than leopards; horsemen intent on violence, descending like eagles to consume. [2] Yet, He bestowed strength upon Habakkuk, lifting him to elevated places beyond the conflict. From this vantage point of divine insight, he proclaimed his resolve to find joy in the Lord, regardless of circumstances.

Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, Yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will take joy in the God of my salvation. God, the Lord, is my strength; He makes my feet like the deer’s; He makes me tread on my high places. (Habakkuk 3:17-19 ESV)

This is the perspective we all need in the midst of troubles we know will come. On the night before he died, Jesus said, “In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33b NASB).

God has used some of our recent difficulties to teach me to cling desperately to Him. In each hardship, I’m discovering more of Him. l haven’t liked these troubles, but I’m learning that Joy can sustain me, if I invite Him in.

On the ride to the beach, we listened to a message from Graham Cooke [3] called the Language of Heaven. Cooke mentions that with every problem there are built in opportunities to experience God more fully. He says we should ask the question – What aspect of God can I realize now that I couldn’t have without this situation? He mentions that Joy always accompanies our experiences with God; the Lord is fullness Joy. [4] Cooke challenges us to begin and end each day with celebration.

I want to live my life this way, like Habakkuk, always looking to the Lord for my strength. I want to rejoice in the Lord always, even in situations which can be like nightmares. I want to walk with Him on the high places of His eternal perspective, orienting my life around a story which is far more important than my pleasant circumstances.

God is at work for our good. When we read Romans 8:28 and 29, we get a glimpse of His measure of good. It’s not just peaceful easy feelings. Our good is to be conformed into the image of Christ. ²⁸And we know that ^[a]God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. ²⁹For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren;

Being conformed into something can be painful, yet God is dependable. He is actively working to liberate us, and He will not cease His work within us. His love for us is too great to allow our happiness to be dependent on the circumstances of our lives.

Challenge

Can you say along with Habakkuk, “yet will I rejoice in the Lord?”

At this moment, in your present story, what comes before the “yet”?

Spend a few minutes documenting what has been particularly hard lately. When you’re done write out a “yet will I rejoice in You” prayer to your Father. This act is choosing joy and inviting the God of all comfort [5] into whatever you’re going through.

Prayer

Lord, right now I celebrate you. In the midst of very hard situations which linger, I seek You. You’re teaching me that Your love completes me. Being loved by you is my identity. You are all I need, my Peace, my Hope, my Joy. Please teach me to look at each new problem as an opportunity to be “upgraded” [6] into a deeper experience with You. I know, in Your sovereignty, You will provide “opportunities” for me to depend on You more; You’ve entrusted them to me. Please help me see all of life, especially the hard times, from Your viewpoint and trust in Your greater good for me.

I love you dearly.

Amen

[1] James 1:2

[2] Habakkuk 1:6-9

[3] Graham Cooke, The Language of Heaven – https://youtu.be/mi6nZA2wUqo

[4] Psalm 16:11b

[5] II Corinthians 1:3-7

[6] Word used by Graham Cooke.

Other posts in our series In The Moments:

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading.

Please Check out the Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for? Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in a old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family. Hope Remains

The Righteousness of God

Packages (Part 6)

July 11, 2024 robuck4@aol.com Leave a comment

Dear reader, Packages is an allegory. There will be roughly a dozen parts before Bobby wakes up from a very long, lifelike dream. He'll then seek an interpretation.

I found myself on the packages again on Saturday, with no body of water in sight. I sat deep in a valley, surrounded by towering piles of boxes. The rising sun remained hidden from view; its presence only hinted at by the pastel hues of dawn. The location matched my mood.

The sobering events of the previous day made me cringe as they seeped into my groggy consciousness. As troubling as the work situation was, I was more concerned about not being reconciled with Jill. Over the years, we’d learned to navigate through difficulties, particularly when one could sense the other’s reaction stemmed from unresolved past hurts. Together, with faith in God, we’d learned to reveal and dismantle the longstanding falsehoods that had troubled our lives. It was rare for us to sleep without settling our differences and kissing. The previous night was particularly challenging because we both reacted from deep-seated pain and failed to extend grace before the day’s end. I knew it was my responsibility to lead in that regard, but I hadn’t.

I recalled His words that the packages were brimming with kindness, grace, and love—qualities I desperately needed to embrace the day ahead. Accepting His grace proved particularly challenging. Especially in light of how I’d failed to lead Jill and, with my growing unforgiveness and bitterness with Mike.

Even so, I was certain nothing could separate me from God’s love, not even my own shame.

I contemplated the Hebrew word “Hesed,” which translates to lovingkindness.

And Psalm 23 verse 6: Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life, And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

I recalled that this word embodies a divine love which transcends human understanding; like how God pursues us, in spite of our disobedience. Like how Hosea pursued Gomer, his harlot wife. [1]

Immersed in a deep awareness of His lovingkindness, my heart grew tender. I longed to embrace Jill and admit my mistake. We never do well when we’re not right with each other.

“There’s something else in these boxes,” He said, again catching me off guard. “You’re absorbing more than just kindness, grace and love.”

“Read II Corinthians 5:21.”

I picked up the Bible resting on the box in front of me and read, He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

“Can you guess what else you’ve been soaking in?” He asked.

“The righteousness of Christ Jesus?”

“Very good. Can that righteousness be diminished by anything you do or don’t do?”

I paused a moment before answering. A new understanding was budding in my heart. “No. Since You chose me, by Your mercy, to be Your son before I was even born, nothing I do or don’t do can affect it. Right?”

“That’s right,” He said. “My children know this, but our enemy is relentless in seeking to hide My grace and love. His efforts are multiplied as his end draws near. Bobby, sometimes you still soak in his lies and not My truth”

“What did Paul say about righteousness in Ephesians 6?”

“He told us to put on the breastplate of righteousness, as we gird our loins with truth and take up the shield of faith.” I felt faith rising and continued. “This allows us to extinguish all the flaming missiles of the evil one. All of them!”

“Never drop your shield of faith. Believe you have My righteousness. No matter what happens, stay the course.”

Having rekindled my faith, He left me to my reflections. The shame I felt now appeared absurd. I knew my life was meant to be rooted in His righteousness, not my own. I realized that whenever I lost focus on this truth, I was on shacky ground and very vulnerable.

Unbeknownst to me, I was no longer in a valley; the mound of packages I rested on had ascended beyond the horizon. I was now in full view of a crystal blue sea, which reflected the magnificence of the eternal dawn.

Jill and I were able to have a cup of coffee together before I went to the office. I apologized for acting out of my fear of failure and need to succeed. I also told her I was sorry for not initiating forgiveness the night before.

“I forgive you on both counts,” she said, as we hugged. “I’m not sure I was ready to be resolved last night anyway. I was stewing in my own feelings of rejection. But I recognized this morning that these lies are ancient. I’m sorry too. God has used you to help me see the lies from the past I still tend to live in.”

“I’m glad,” I said. “Us honoring our covenant of marriage before God has been what’s held us together and allowed our love to grow. We’ve had some very hard stretches.”

She agreed.

As I entered the office, I heard, “Ask Me.”

I found Kevin at his desk, his head in his hands, same shirt on from the day before. “The batches of data are two large,” he said in a defeated tone when he noticed me. “I tried dividing them into smaller datasets, but they lose the associated header, footer and provider tags. I’m out of ideas.”

I’d never seen Kevin in such a state. His perseverance and determination were remarkable, but he was clearly at the end of his rope.

Remembering His message, I asked Him for guidance. Then I ran through different possibilities in my mind.

“I have an idea,” I said after a few minutes. “I think I can use Easytrieve, a mainframe programming tool, to generate smaller datasets while preserving the tags. This would mean we’d be handling smaller batches during the data transfer and the script processing.”

Kevin thought it was a good idea and assisted me in mapping the fields. In forty-five minutes, we’d successfully written a quick program and validated the theory with a batch of data which had previously abended.

“Eureka!” Kevin exclaimed. We did a computer nerd version of a high five.

We kicked off a batch of scripts, which we hoped would process all the data by early Sunday afternoon. He showed me how to check for problems in his script and how to monitor the progress remotely.

I sent him home to rest and made sure the first few batches were successful.

When I got home, Jill was wrapping Alice’s surprise birthday gift.

The plan was for us to distract Alice in the backyard while friends and family streamed into her house to surprise her.

“I can hide her present in the bottom of my purse,” Jill exclaimed.

“I knew that giant bag would come in handy for something,” I joked, earning me a playful elbow to the ribs.

I was so excited about our gift to Alice. Knowing his days on earth were winding down, her husband, Ray, had asked me to video a message to his family. Jill and I downloaded it to an electronic picture frame, which was our present to Alice and their kids.

Right before we knocked on the back door, my phone vibrated with a text. Jill heard it too and looked at me with disappointment.

“Is it work?” she exclaimed bitterly.

The extensive time and mental energy I devoted to work-related activities over the years had become a longstanding source of pain and feelings of neglect for Jill. I endeavored to understand my wife better, continually learning more about her. I was beginning to realize that some of her reactions stemmed from deep-seated pain, some of which originated in her childhood and was triggered by something I did, said, or failed to do. While I acknowledge that I have also caused her pain, I was learning not to take it personally all the time. This approach helped me to remain non-defensive, at least some of the time. Which is hard for a guy like me who thrives to succeed and please people.

“No, it’s Sammy,” I replied, also happy it wasn’t work related. “He’s asking if he and his family can join us at our church tomorrow.”

“Wow! That would be great,” Jill exclaimed. “Alton as well?”

“I’m not sure,” I replied, as I knocked on Alice’s back door. I heard, “Be bold.“

To Be Continued

[1] The book of Hosea

Please Check out the Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading.

Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for? Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in a old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains

God is our Reward, The Goodness of God

In the Moments (What is Good?)

June 23, 2024 robuck4@aol.com 2 Comments

I’m on our back porch enjoying the breeze of a chilly spring morning. The flowers are blooming, the trees are just beginning to bud and the grass is greening. I’m soaking in the spender of “now”. A few birds visit our feeder suspended above the wooded path to our barn. A steady flow of cascading water from our fountain forms the background rhythm for their melodious songs.

I rest in the goodness of God. When I’m present with Him, the troubles of my life are out of view. Because He’s good, I’m good.

However, when I remember my present difficulties, if I’m not careful, they can suck the good right out of me.

Psalm 73 tells a story of a man who’s dealing with a crisis of belief. Things are not going well and he really doesn’t know what to do.

When the Psalm opens up, Asaph is in a bad way. He doesn’t like his circumstances. He’s come close to stumbling and almost slips. He feels as if he’s wasted his time keeping his heart pure. He feels stricken all day long and chastened every morning.

To add to his unrest, envy has crept in. He sees wicked people who are prideful and arrogant, yet they seem to be doing fine. They’re not in trouble or plagued. They prosper and are even fat, which was considered a good thing back then.

Asaph feels embittered and pierced within, yet he makes a wise choice. He brings his confused mindset honestly before God.

When I pondered to understand this,
It was troublesome in my sight
¹⁷Until I came into the sanctuary of God … (Psalm 73:16-17a NASB).

This is the key to what happens next. No matter what our state, no matter how badly we’ve screwed up, no matter how angry we are at God, we should follow Asaph’s example and enter God’s sanctuary.

God is always ready to hear where we are and the honest condition of our hearts. He can handle whatever we want to dish out. The worse thing we can do is shy away from Him because of shame, guilt or disappointment.

As Asaph talks to God, his heart begins to shift. Though his feelings haven’t changed, he sees the end of those who don’t follow God. Then I perceived their end. Surely You set them in slippery places; You cast them down to destruction (Psalm 73:17b-18 NASB).

Then in verses 23 and 24, a dramatic turn occurs. Talking to God he says, Nevertheless, I am continually with You. You have taken hold of my right hand and with Your council will guide me, and afterwards receive me to glory.

Whatever pit we find ourselves in right this moment, whatever evidence we see around us that life is not good, we can repeat Asaph’s words above in sincerity to God, releasing our lives into His care.

How reassuring! This truth can completely change our perspective as well.

It did for Aspah. See what he wrote next in verse 25.

Whom have I in heaven but you? And beside you I desire nothing on earth.

By bringing his concerns to God, even his complaints, the Lord performed a 180 degree shift in Asaph’s heart.

Let’s recognize, as Asaph did, that goodness is not in how our lives are going. Goodness is in God’s nearness. God is always with us and He is always good, no matter what goes on in our lives.

Asaph ended his Psalm with bedrock truth we can build our lives around.

But as for me, the nearness of God is my good (Psalm 73:28a NASB).

Challenge:

What circumstance threatens your sense of well-being this very moment? In other words, what has to be right in your life for you to be okay: a thriving marriage, prospering children, successful career, etc. All these good things can never replace the fact that we are good because God is good. Place the Lord above all things. He is worthy. He is trustworthy. He is good.

Prayer:

Lord, I’m sorry I often slip back into seeking my “okayness” from the circumstances of this world. I’ve asked You to help me to surrender more and more of my life to You. You’re answering this prayer, often with trials I would have never asked for. But, through it all I’m good because You are good and You are near.

Thank You.

With all my love, Amen.

Other posts in our series In The Moments:

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading.

Please Check out the Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for? Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in a old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family. Hope Remains

Loving Along the Way, Seeking the Kingdom of God

In the Moments (Simplicity in Christ)

February 13, 2024 robuck4@aol.com Leave a comment

The sun is breaking through the clouds on this chilly, late January morning. As I approach the house, from Jack’s mid-morning walk, the warmth lures me to stay outside. Jack is a twelve-week-old Australian Shepherd, who became a member of our family a few weeks ago.

But, by the time I secure Jack, grab my lawn chair, journal, and water, the sun hides behind the greyness of the day. Hopeful it’s just a temporary pause in my winter “sun bath”, I toss Jack a treat, sip some water, and open my Bible.

I turn to the verse I’ve been draw to often this month. “But I fear, lest somehow, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, so your minds may be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ.” (II Corinthians 11:3 NKJV).

Paul’s concern for the church at Corinth is about them being deceived. I get it. I believe I’ve been deceived as well.

My life seems anything but simple. From the divorce of my parents, earning an IT degree, raising four kids, maintaining a home, owning a business … Simple is not how I’d describe things.

Maybe my definition of the word is part of the problem. To me, simplicity seems to mean freedom from the complexities of life, uncomplicated. This can’t be what Paul meant. A smooth life was never promised.

The sun is peeking through again. A bit of warmth slathers my face.

Have I been wearing myself out seeking something that’s not possible?

From Jesus’ very words, I get my answer.

Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful (John 14:27 NASB).

Simplicity isn’t peace as the world gives it.

These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world (John 16:33 NASB).

Simplicity isn’t a life free of conflict and tribulation.

I know simplicity is possible, but I need understanding. What does true, Biblical simplicity really mean?

Pondering the question, I’m struck by two things:

The word we translate as “simplicity” in the original Greek means singular focus, sincerity, God seeking and not self-seeking, mental honesty.
Our simplicity is ‘in Christ‘.

Jack is getting restless. I know I need to stop soon. I press into God, Lord, show me how to live this life Paul is referring to.

Seek First

Tossing Jack a toy, Jesus’ words come to mind. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you (Matthew 6:33 NASB).

The verses before this warn us against having a narrow focus on the world and the necessities of life. Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ ³²For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things (Matthew 6:31-32 NASB).

Jesus tells us to have a singular focus on God, His righteousness, and the reign of His ever-unfolding kingdom.

This seems hard, but God empowers us every step of the way. “for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure” (Philippians 2:13 NASB).

Love as He’s Loved us

Hours before He was crucified, Jesus said, “Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love. ¹⁰If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. ¹¹These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full. ¹²“This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you (John 15:9-12 NASB).

Jesus boils things down to simple terms.

Love.

How do we love? As He’s loved us.

How much is that? As much as the Father loves Him.

And He tells us if we love others as He’s loved us, two amazing things happen:

We abide in His love
We receive His full joy

Wow, This is the kind of life I want.

Challenge

What’s crowding your mind this very moment? What thoughts and emotions seem to keep swirling around in your soul? It could be feelings of hurt, illnesses, concerns for loved ones, money problems …

Would you trade it all for a singular focus of seeking God’s kingdom by loving others?

Use the following verses as a type of vacuum cleaner for your soul, giving everyone and everything to God.

6 Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, ⁷casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. (I Peter 5:6-7 NASB).

Linger in the ever presence peace of Christ.

Prayer

Lord, like Eve, I’ve been deceived. I’ve too often allowed the cares of this life to be my focus. I’ve allowed circumstances to make my life feel complicated and anything but simple. Peace as the world gives it is never possible. You are my Peace.

You have given me understanding and insight.

With you working in me, I have all I need to live a life of simplicity in You.

Please remind me quickly when I allow the worries and distractions of this world to draw me from pure and simple devotion to you.

Keep me in the narrow focus of seeking Your kingdom as I love those You place in my path. May I view the challenges and duties of life, not as distraction and bothers, but as ways to serve you and love others.

With all my love, Amen.

Other posts in our series In The Moments:

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading.

Please Check out the Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for? Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in a old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family. Hope Remains

Deeper Surrender, Let Go

In the Moments (Stop Striving)

August 11, 2023 robuck4@aol.com 5 Comments

I was hanging on for dear life above a large ravine. I’d wrapped both arms and legs around a gnarly stump of a tree, leafless but still rooted into the cliff face. About ten feet above, I could see the level ground I’d been clawing and scratching towards. But as hard as I tried, I’d made no real progress these many years.

“This is impossible!” I cried out.

Then I heard a soft, but firm voice directly below me, saying “Let go.”

The Background

When I drive into work on summers days, I reverse things a bit. Rather than spending quiet, solitude with Jesus and then driving to work, I do the opposite. I fix my coffee and travel the twenty-five minutes before the traffic gets heavy. That early its cool. And with my convertible top down and the wind whipping across my bald head, the interstate drive is like a mini vacation. I pull under a shade tree in the back of the parking lot, drink my coffee, and pull out my Bible and journal to see what God wants to say.

A couple of days ago, as I communed with God in my outside “living room,” I felt an historic lie rising in my soul from the vestiges of its former fortress.

The message – It’s all up to me.

For years this lie was a stronghold in my soul, which I believed and defended. Growing up as the oldest child in an alcohol ridden, divorced family, I felt the yoke of responsibility at an early age. There were times, after my mom and dad separated, that the only communication between them was through me. (8^(

As my grandfather neared the end of his life, he conveyed that he expected me to look after my mother after he was gone. I was certainly glad to be there for my mom, and I did, but I was already fighting an over responsible tendency. Pop’s words just added to my feelings that It was all up to me. (8^0

In general, I was a compliant child, very eager to please. However, in my mid to late teens, I followed my friends into all manner of worldly activities. I guess I was trying to fit in and fill the joy hole in my heart.

But as all who try this path discover, all the world can give only leaves us wanting more.

It all came to a head one evening during my sophomore year at college. Trying to show off, by driving a bit reckless coming back from a night of cheap beer, I was arrested and thrown in jail for DUI.

Laying on the cell bunk, before my buddies bailed me out, I realized my search for joy had taken me down the wrong paths. In my soul, I knew God was the answer to my searching, but I didn’t know how to connect with Him. Especially since my lifestyle was far from holy.

Eventually, through talking with my best friend growing up and Chuck Colson’s book entitled Born Again, [1] I learned I didn’t have to straighten my life up to surrender to Jesus.

A year later, when I was 21 years old, I knelt beside my bed and gave my life to Jesus Christ. The act was sincere, but until God gave me a new set of friends to disciple me, my life looked no different from the outside.

As my journey of being a follower of Christ continued, I couldn’t shake the inner lie that life itself was up to me. I wanted to trust in Christ for life’s troubles, but I didn’t know how.

I prayed to give all my cares to Jesus, but deep inside I still believed it was up to me, I didn’t know how to truly trust in someone else.

It took me another 20 years to recognize I needed healing from this strong lie within. This followed by years of learning to disagree with the lie and agree with the truth of God’s word. His truth and prayer destroy the fortresses and speculations raised up against the truth and the knowledge of God. [2] It’s not up to me. It never was.

It’s up to me has lost it’s real power. But still, this hideous, prideful lie calls out from time to time from the vestiges of my “old self.”

This is what I was feeling the morning described above. If I’m not centered in the truth, I find myself vulnerable to fresh batches of brokenness and evil all around.

Back to the Tree

As I sat in front of the tree that morning and experienced the familiar lie, I wrote in my journal, “God do you want to say anything to me?”

Then I took out my blue pen to write down what I sensed He was saying.

Following is what I wrote. And It’s what brought up the thoughts of me hanging on the side of a cliff.

Robby, you strive so hard to be compliant, to please, not to fail. Hanging on to the gnarly stump of “I can do it,” as you dangle over a precipice of fear of failure and fear of rejection. Let go!

In my journal I wrote. “Yes Lord.”

And with as deep of a surrender as I knew how to give, I did. I let go.

As Paul writes in Ephesians 4, I, as much as I knew how, put off the old man and put on the New Man, which is Christ Jesus who indwells me. [3]

As I might have thought, letting go did not mean tumbling upon the rocks below, shirking the responsibilities, failing and letting everyone down.

It meant just the opposite.

In the Moments Since

As I closed the convertible top, grabbed my gear and walked toward the office, I thought about the surrender I’d just experienced.

Certainly, there’d been many surrenders over the years, but this one seemed a deeper “letting go” than ever before.

And, as I write a few days later, I know this to be true.

I work as a corporate technical trainer. I love what I do because of the opportunities to meet and care for a wide range of folks, mostly just out of college.

In the classroom, I spend a lot of time conveying technical information and coaching my students on how to become mainframe programmers, using review games and workshops. It’s actually a lot of fun, but, as with any job, it has its challenges. Especially when students realize during the class that this type of career is not for them and they must leave the program. (8^<

That morning, when I let go from the gnarly tree growing out of the rock face, my Savior, my King, my Lord, my faithful Friend was right there to catch me.

Since then, walking in the halls, and even in the classroom, I’m experiencing a sense of being carried along and having an eternal view of how my story ends, even as it unfolds.

God is shaping my overall perspective. Though there are still things to be done and troubles to be experienced, the sense of having a higher, eternal goal has not left me.

I’m having moments when the fact of Jesus’ imminent return shines brightly through all the brokenness, all the difficulties, all the pain of this fallen world.

In his first epistle, Peter writes of our current Living Hope and of our future inheritance, imperishable and undefiled. He reminds us of God’s protection, even now. He encourages us to see our trials and tribulations as ways of purifying us as gold is tested by fire. Though, now, we have not yet seen the Lord, we’re filled with joy inexpressible and full of glory. [4]

Paul tells us that God is always working for our good, but sometimes we have tunnel vision. His good for us is work, in the details of our lives, to conform us into the image of Christ. This frees us more and from the world’s hold on our souls. [5]

Challenge

Like me, do you still sometimes believe life is up to? Certainly, we all have responsibilities and face trials, but consider the following truths which are undeniable:

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil, for You are with me (Psalm 23:4 NASB).

God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble.
²Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change
And though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea;
³Though its waters roar and foam, Though the mountains quake at its swelling pride (Psalm 46:1-3 NASB).

“These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33 NASB)

I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me (Galatians 2:20 NASB).

Whatever we face (troubles, responsibilities, challenges), God is with us. It’s never up to us. We’re to yield to His Spirit and walk in His nearness.

Consider praying a prayer of deeper surrender to Jesus Christ, your Lord. Ask Him to remind you quickly when you begin to walk in the old flesh and to guide you into yielding to His Spirit.

Consider writing your words of surrender to Him in a journal and refer back to it often.

Make note of ways He surprises you in the days which follow.

No matter how deep our surrender is, as we press into Him, He will lead us into deeper surrender and deeper freedom.

Prayer

Lord, Thank You for Your longsuffering, Your kindness and Your mercy towards me. You don’t relent until You have my whole heart and I’m so thankful for that.

Please remind me quickly when I pridefully try and do anything apart from You. You tell me that apart from you I can do nothing. [6] And I believe it. (8^o

I see more and more what it means that I died and that my life is now hidden in You.

Please help me to love others as You’ve loved me and to live a life that brings You glory.

I love You so much!

Amen

[1] Chuck Colson’s son, Chris, was a classmate of mine in college. I sub-rented his apartment on summer and read the copy of Born Again his dad had given him.

[2] II Corinthians 10:3-5

[3] Ephesians 4:22-24

[4] I Peter 1:3-8

[5] Romans 8:28-29

[6] John 15:5

Other posts in our series In The Moments:

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

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