Our Highest Joy (Loving Like Joe)

And her husband Joseph, since he was a righteous man and did not want to disgrace her, planned to send her away secretly (Matthew 1:19 NASB).

As we follow Jesus, it’s encouraging to see human examples of sacrificial love lived out for us to imitate. With this is mind, let’s take a closer look at the life of Joseph, husband of Mary and earthly father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

What we Know about Joseph

At the beginning of his gospel, Matthew scribes Joseph’s lineage from Abraham,  through David, Solomon and Hezekiah. We know he was the son of Jacob and a carpenter by trade.

When Joseph learned of Mary’s pregnancy, before he knew she was with child by the Holy Spirit, he chose not to accuse her or disgrace her, but to divorce her quietly. He was a righteous man. [1] 

He was visited by an angel in a dream and instructed to not fear, but to take Mary as his wife. When he was told she had been conceived by the Holy Spirit and that her son would be named Jesus, Joseph trusted and obeyed. [2] 

To honor what was happening, Joseph kept Mary a virgin until Jesus was born. [3]

Because Joseph was from the line of David, he traveled from Galilee to Bethlehem to register in the census ordered by Quirinus. While there, Joseph sought for a place for Mary to have her baby. Since there were no vacancies, Joseph secured shelter for her in a stable. When Jesus was born, He was laid in a manger. [4]   

Joseph obeyed God’s command and named the boy Jesus.  After eight days, Joseph had Jesus circumcised. Later he brought his son to the temple to be presented to God. [5]

After the magi from the east arrived and presented their gifts, Joseph was warned in a dream to flee to Egypt because Herod was a threat to Jesus. Joseph obeyed and escaped by night with the Child and His mother. [6]

Joseph loved and supported his family. The last we hear of him was when Jesus was twelve year old and taken to Jerusalem to celebrate the Feast of the Passover. [7]

Looking at Joseph’s life, three aspects of love emerge worth imitating:

  • Unoffendable Love
  • Selfless Love
  • Protective Love

Unoffendable Love

One of the most difficult heart breaks we face is when our love is betrayed or rejected. From first hand experience, this sadness has the potential of spinning our lives out of orbit and shaking our foundation. I can only imagine how Joseph must have felt when Mary showed up pregnant after visiting her cousin Elizabeth. What deep betrayal he must have felt! Yet, he responded in love. Joseph could have accused Mary, which may have led to her stoning. Instead, he planned to end the relationship quietly, not putting her to shame. 

Loving as Joseph did required an awareness of a greater, eternal love which doesn’t fade and holds beneath the veil. Joseph loved Mary, but He loved God more. He was able to respond to her apparent betrayal with an eternal love only God could have given him. 

We don’t know exactly how long before Joseph heard the truth from the angel.  In the meantime, I feel sure Joseph cried out to his Comforter to draw near to sooth his aching heart. Our Father is the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our afflictions. [8]

Selfless Love

Selfless love is loving others in spite of what it costs us. It’s what Joseph did when he showed grace to Mary. He would continue from there, sacrificially caring for his family from Galilee to Bethlehem to Egypt to Nazareth, for as long as he lived.

Selfless love is what Jesus demonstrated for us on the cross. It’s how husbands are to love their wives, sacrificially, considering them and loving them before their own needs.

But selfless love is not confined to marriage. Paul urges all believers to “regard one another as more important than himself.” [9] He goes on to tell us to be like Jesus who “emptied Himself, taking the form of a bondservant.” [10]

This kind of love, which puts the needs of others first, can’t be accomplished outside of reliance upon the Holy Spirit. To love this way requires walking in newness of life and continually putting off our old ways of thinking.

Protective Love

Joseph found himself in a very demanding situation. Jesus was no ordinary Child he was assigned to father. But he continually put the needs of Mary and his family over his own interests. He also had to protect them against any harm. Like a night watchman, constantly surveying the horizon for threats, Joseph was alert to protecting his vulnerable family.

He found a place for the baby to lay when the inn was full. He led his family in their night escape to Egypt. From there he took them to Nazareth because a threat remained.

Loving in a protective way requires putting others first. It takes a willingness to do whatever it takes for the safety and well being of others. 

Jesus willingly gave up His life to protect us from eternal separation from God. And He wants us to love others with the same kind of love: This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you (John 15:12 NASB)

Challenge

As you look at Joseph’s life, what aspect of how he loved stands out?

Has your heart been broken? Call out to the Comforter to draw near and sooth your deep pain. Will you respond to the offender like Joseph did?

Do you find yourself always fighting for what you want? Try laying aside your desires and seeking the interest of others first.

Be aware of the dangers in the lives of those you love. Be a protector, beginning with prayer. Our enemy, the devil is a roaring lion, ever seeking to destroy. [11] Continually present them to our Loving Shepherd, the true Protector of the sheep.

Prayer

Lord, as I look at Joseph’s life, I want to love like him. But I’m weak. I know I can only love others in these ways by depending on Your Holy Spirit within me. Please help me to abide in You.

I only love because You love me. Please destroy any lies or speculations which block me from fully knowing and walking in Your love.

Please show me how to love the people in my path.

May the words of my mouth be Your words. My my deeds be supplied by Your strength.

May You always be glorified by my life.

 Amen.

[1] Matthew 1:19

[2] Matthew 1:20-24

[3] Matthew 1:25

[4] Luke 2:1-7

[5] Luke 2:21-24

[6] Matthew 2:13-14

[7] Luke 2:41-52

[8] II Corinthians 1:3-5

[9] Philippians 2:3b

[10] Philippians 2:7b

[11] I Peter 5:8

Previous posts in the series – Our Highest Joy:

Unmasking the Lie

Dealing with sadness and disappointment

Eternal Thanksgiving

Fueled by the Joy of Jesus

God with Us

Fixing Our Hope

Remaining Cheerful

Not My Will

Mustering our Faith

Being Poured Out

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Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 Novels by the Author:

Rob Buck

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in a old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains

 

In the Moments(Behold)

And so the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.  And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger” (Luke 2:10-11 NASB). 

Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God! Therefore the world does not know us, because it did not know Him (I John 3:1 NKJV).

Behold – perceive with the eyes or any of the senses, notice, discern, discover, pay attention, observe, inspect, examine, understand.

Jerry

He used to be an elder at our church, but I haven’t seen Jerry since he completed his chemo treatments for his lymphoma.  I look forward to seeing him and celebrating the fact that he’s now cancer free. 

I arrive at Loveland’s, a popular coffee shop in Irmo, South Carolina. As a step through the doors, I’m  surprised to see a cluster of comfortable chairs unoccupied. Not seeing Jerry, I claim the spot.

The Napkin

As I wait, my thoughts drift back to the breakfast meeting I’d just completed with my son and our friend Seth. I’d opened my eyes during our closing prayer and was surprised by a napkin. Stamped into this simple paper product were flowers with clearly defined petals, standing stalks of wheat and symmetrical lines and shapes of intricate detail.

So much went into such an insignificant item, but you had to take the time to notice it. I’m glad I did. It reminds me of all the colorful details God puts into the wings of butterflies and the flowers of the field for us to enjoy. If we will. 

Knees to Knees

Still deep in thought, I’m a bit startled when Jerry suddenly appears. He’d been seated at another part of the shop and we’d missed each other. He sits in the chair to my right and turns towards me. Knees to knees he calls it.

I feel his pastoral heart as he asks me about how I’m handling the passing of my little sister, Marlee, a couple of weeks ago. I tell him it’s been hard, but that I think I’m learning how to grieve.

As I travel these waters of loss, I seem to be able to feel more keenly. Even in this true sadness, there’s also been a deeper appreciation of  all of life’s emotions. Through it all, I’m discovering God is enough. Strange how pain is leading me to a more tangible awareness of His sufficiency.

Jerry talks about his journey with cancer, the chemotherapy and the delight of being declared cancer free.  He and his bride, Ginny, have had their separate battles with cancer. Hers has been breast cancer. Through it all, they’ve fought together side by side, a beautiful thing. They are closer, like foxhole buddies.

His world shrunk as he was forced to slow down. He’s seen tremendous benefit in stillness and quiet. He is being restored. 

Jerry’s Focus for The Year

As our time winds down, Jerry tells me about two focal points he brought into the beginning of this year. Two phrases which have defined his journey; beginning before there was even a thought of cancer:

  • In the Moment
  • Surprised by Joy.

In the Moment

Staying present in every situation.  As much as possible, bringing our senses into the appreciation of life’s moments. As we discuss it, I think of the napkin and it’s hidden details. It makes me want to slow down and be much more observant. If there can be so much to appreciate in a man-made paper product, what treasures in God’s vast creation await me?

And how about people? How often do I rush past the people God places in my path because I’m distracted by some duty or am caught up with some random train of thought?

God breathed His image into humans.  Each person has uniqueness ready to be discovered.

Surprised by Joy

Jerry explains that even though “Surprised by Joy” is the title of a book by C.S. Lewis, he has his own understanding of the term. Joy is surprising him where he would least expect it. As he talks, I get what he means.

How would we ever expect to find joy in things like cancer and death? This strange sensation can only be explained by the Lord’s presence and our journey with Him in the depths of our pain. 

Nevertheless I am continually with You;
You have taken hold of my right hand.
You will guide me with Your plan,
And afterward receive me to glory (Psalm 73:23-24 NASB).

Jerry wants to be open to joy in whatever turn his life takes. Come what may, Jerry knows the Lord is his highest joy and worldly circumstances can’t thwart this. This unexpected year has given him ample opportunity to experience the joy of God’s nearness in the midst of his moments. 

You will make known to me the way of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
In Your right hand there are pleasures forever (Psalm 16:11 NASB)

My Challenge

Not only is God with me in the grief over Marlee’s death and everything else I’m going though, but He has also created a vast world of treasures for me to behold with Him.

My challenge is to identify and eliminate all threats to recognizing His nearness .  These distraction can be external, like electronic devices and busyness. Or they can be internal thoughts which rob my peace. 

Prayer

Lord,

What a great morning of discovery. From the amazement of a napkin to the appreciation of time spent with a wise brother, You are calling me to slow down and behold the moments of life.

I’m sorry for how easy it is for me to be distracted by the noise of this world. There’s so much You want to show me. Please call me quickly to You when I stray. I want to behold life with You.

Thank you for how You surprise me with the joy of Your presence. No matter what I face, You are always with me.

I love you Lord.

Epilogue

As I finish this post, I get a text from Jerry – “Thanks for the obituary of your sister. The message, “God is enough”, was repeated and reinforced to me through the whole week. Having coffee at Hardee’s this morning, I was “in the moment” watching a flock of white seagulls in the parking lot in front of Food Lion against a beautiful sky. Nature speaks of God.” Jerry

Even if it’s been a tough year for you, consider this Advent season an opportunity to meet with God, to hear from Him, and to respond to the gentle nudges of the Holy Spirit within you. Nothing will nourish your soul like resetting your pace to match the Savior’s rhythm for you. Nothing re-energizes like saying no to your flesh so you can say yes to the Holy Spirit who’s ready and willing to work in you. Susie Larson

 

Other posts in our series In The Moments:

As Sea Gulls Fly

The Gift of Presence

It is Finished

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in a old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family. Hope Remains

Rhythms: UP (When Things Get Really Hard)

God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change And though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea; Though its waters roar and foam,
Though the mountains quake at its swelling pride (Psalm 46:1-3 NASB).

We know the value of receiving and knowing the love of God.

We know the Holy Spirit indwells us to empower us and guide our ways.

We know we’ve been raised up with Christ and given an eternal orientation.

We know God alone is our Highest Joy.

We know loving like Jesus fills our lives with joy.

We’re learning to build our lives around these and other spiritual  fundamentals. However, when things get hard we can lose sight.

 What keeps us courageous during life’s gut punches?

 The Gut Punch

Really hard circumstances can feel like a gut punch. These severe trials, which send us staggering for stable footing, make us feel as if we’ve been swept onto an avalanche of shifting sand.

The death of a loved one, a severed relationship, acute health issue, financial collapse, etc. breed emotional turmoil. These heart breaks threaten our ability to cope with new realities and life’s never ending demands.

Following are a couple of rock-solid truths which hold no matter what. They bring us courage, during even the hardest of times.

Rocks of Stability 

Abiding Nearness

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me (Psalm 23:4a NASB).

When I think of the shadow of death, a scene from  Return of the King,  comes to mind. As the brave trio approached the Haunted Mountain, Tolkien writes, “A dread fell on them, even as they passed between the lines of ancient stones and so came to the Dimholt. There under the gloom of black trees that not even Legolas could long endure they found a hollow place opening at the mountain’s root, and right in their path stood a single mighty stone like a finger of doom.”  [1]

This scene drips with fear, but David assures us in the above Psalm that we can choose not to fear, no matter how thick the darkness. Why? Because God is with us. He is our ever present help, especially in times of trouble. [2]

God is always available to provide abundant comfort in all our afflictions. [3]

Jesus tells us not to be surprised by troubles. They will come. But in Him, we find peace and the courage to endure. These things I have spoken to you so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world (John 16:33 NASB)

For You have been a refuge for me, A tower of strength against the enemy (Psalm 61:3 NASB).

Amid our toughest times, we receive courage because God will never leave or forsake us.

Be strong and courageous! Do not be terrified nor dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go (Joshua 1:9b NASB).

God is our source of strength, especially in our pain.

The Greater Story 

In our pain, we must understand God’s greater purposes.

Jesus tells us He came to give us abundant life. [4] But is abundant life the same thing as happy, smooth circumstances? Or is it the abundance of Christ’s nearness, like Rivers of Living Water welling up from within?

God wants more for us than a better life. When Paul tells us God is working all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purposes, he’s referring to something better than good circumstances. God’s purposes for us are to give us the freedom and joy of being conformed us into the image of Christ.  [5] 

There are profoundly sanctifying forces at work when we cling to Jesus in the midst of our pain. In our trials, our grip on lesser loves is loosened, freeing us to fully enjoy our Jesus. 

See what James, Paul and Peter wrote about the redeeming qualities of our afflictions and trials:

Consider it all joy, my brothers and sisters, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing (James 1:2-4 NASB).

Trials bring us joy because they develop endurance which leads us to being complete, lacking nothing.

For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers and sisters, of our affliction which occurred in Asia, that we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead (II Corinthians 1:8-9 NASB).

Hardships, especially the severe kinds, can cause us to stop trusting in ourselves and put our faith in God who raises the dead.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the  dead, to obtain an inheritance which is imperishable, undefiled, and will not fade away, reserved in heaven for you,  who are protected by the power of God through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which perishes though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise, glory, and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ; and though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, obtaining as the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls (I Peter 1:3-9 NASB).

As we rejoice in the eternal realities of our living hope, our unfading inheritance and the fact that we’re protected by the power of God, Peter tells us we may be distressed by various trials. He says these trials are necessary to prove our faith, as gold purified by fire. He says they result in inexpressible joy for us and praise and honor to God.

The truths concerning God’s greater purposes in our lives can help give us firm footing when life gets really hard. God is at work in our pain, even if we don’t see it.

Story:

A couple of years ago, I lost my little sister. Even though we saw the signs mounting, her accelerated death caught us all by surprise. She literally worked the same week she died. 

Her loss has been harder for me than the death of my parents ten years earlier.

Even though she was my only sister, I would kid her by saying she was my favorite. Truly she was the best sister anyone could ask for. I can’t think of an argument we ever had during her entire life. Being the two oldest, we were foxhole buddies during the divorce of our parents. She was always there.

Her death is allowing me to access unshed tears from years gone by. For the first time, I’m learning to grieve.

Days after her death I cried out to the Lord in my journal, not knowing how to process my concern for her eternal state and the huge, gapping hole in my heart. I asked Him if He wanted to say anything to me.

In my spirit, I sensed Him  say, “I am enough.” 

No matter how sad I am and how much I grieve, God is enough. He is with me. To the extent I call to Him, especially in my pain, He is and will be my El Shaddai, my All Sufficient One. 

Since then, as I travel this path of grief,  I’m beginning to know God in a deeper way. It seems the greater my pain the greater His sufficiency.

Conclusion

Life is hard. We face troubles. What’s important is how we respond.

Do we keep on going, striving best we can, ignoring what we’re going through?

Do we dedicate ourselves to all manner of false affections which temporarily numb the pain? 

Do we curl up in a fetal position and shut life out?

Or, do we recognize that what we’re going through is no surprise to God. Our God of all comfort is an ever-present help in our affliction. He is near to our broken heart. God can use our pain in marvelous ways we would have never perceived. Like a master surgeon, God is at work to free us to fully enjoy Him.

Prayer

Lord, I don’t grieve well. I don’t know how. I’m sorry for the many times I’ve minimized my pain because I didn’t know what to do with it. But You’re showing my that living with You in my pain gives me an opportunity to know You in uniquely deeper ways.

Please guide my grief of my sister. I miss her so much. Thank You that You are enough, even now.

 Amen.

Personal Study

Highlight II Corinthians 1:3-10 

Explain it in your own words

Apply it to your life

Respond to God in prayer 

[1] The Return of the King, Houghton Mifflin 1956, p. 49

[2] Psalm 46:1-3

[3] II Corinthians 1:3-5

[4] John 10:10

[5] Romans 8:28-29

Previous posts in the UP series:

God’s Amazing Love

God’s Essential Love

What Hides God’s Love

Christ Lives in Me

Raised up with Christ

Who’s your Treasure?

Obtaining the Joy of Jesus 

Orienting Life from Above

.Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in a old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains