breast cancer | Joy in the Journey

And so the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger” (Luke 2:10-11 NASB).

Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God! Therefore the world does not know us, because it did not know Him (I John 3:1 NKJV).

Behold – perceive with the eyes or any of the senses, notice, discern, discover, pay attention, observe, inspect, examine, understand.

Jerry

He used to be an elder at our church, but I haven’t seen Jerry since he completed his chemo treatments for his lymphoma. I look forward to seeing him and celebrating the fact that he’s now cancer free.

I arrive at Loveland’s, a popular coffee shop in Irmo, South Carolina. As a step through the doors, I’m surprised to see a cluster of comfortable chairs unoccupied. Not seeing Jerry, I claim the spot.

The Napkin

As I wait, my thoughts drift back to the breakfast meeting I’d just completed with my son and our friend Seth. I’d opened my eyes during our closing prayer and was surprised by a napkin. Stamped into this simple paper product were flowers with clearly defined petals, standing stalks of wheat and symmetrical lines and shapes of intricate detail.

So much went into such an insignificant item, but you had to take the time to notice it. I’m glad I did. It reminds me of all the colorful details God puts into the wings of butterflies and the flowers of the field for us to enjoy. If we will.

Knees to Knees

Still deep in thought, I’m a bit startled when Jerry suddenly appears. He’d been seated at another part of the shop and we’d missed each other. He sits in the chair to my right and turns towards me. Knees to knees he calls it.

I feel his pastoral heart as he asks me about how I’m handling the passing of my little sister, Marlee, a couple of weeks ago. I tell him it’s been hard, but that I think I’m learning how to grieve.

As I travel these waters of loss, I seem to be able to feel more keenly. Even in this true sadness, there’s also been a deeper appreciation of all of life’s emotions. Through it all, I’m discovering God is enough. Strange how pain is leading me to a more tangible awareness of His sufficiency.

Jerry talks about his journey with cancer, the chemotherapy and the delight of being declared cancer free. He and his bride, Ginny, have had their separate battles with cancer. Hers has been breast cancer. Through it all, they’ve fought together side by side, a beautiful thing. They are closer, like foxhole buddies.

His world shrunk as he was forced to slow down. He’s seen tremendous benefit in stillness and quiet. He is being restored.

Jerry’s Focus for The Year

As our time winds down, Jerry tells me about two focal points he brought into the beginning of this year. Two phrases which have defined his journey; beginning before there was even a thought of cancer:

In the Moment
Surprised by Joy.

In the Moment

Staying present in every situation. As much as possible, bringing our senses into the appreciation of life’s moments. As we discuss it, I think of the napkin and it’s hidden details. It makes me want to slow down and be much more observant. If there can be so much to appreciate in a man-made paper product, what treasures in God’s vast creation await me?

And how about people? How often do I rush past the people God places in my path because I’m distracted by some duty or am caught up with some random train of thought?

God breathed His image into humans. Each person has uniqueness ready to be discovered.

Surprised by Joy

Jerry explains that even though “Surprised by Joy” is the title of a book by C.S. Lewis, he has his own understanding of the term. Joy is surprising him where he would least expect it. As he talks, I get what he means.

How would we ever expect to find joy in things like cancer and death? This strange sensation can only be explained by the Lord’s presence and our journey with Him in the depths of our pain.

Nevertheless I am continually with You;
You have taken hold of my right hand.
You will guide me with Your plan,
And afterward receive me to glory (Psalm 73:23-24 NASB).

Jerry wants to be open to joy in whatever turn his life takes. Come what may, Jerry knows the Lord is his highest joy and worldly circumstances can’t thwart this. This unexpected year has given him ample opportunity to experience the joy of God’s nearness in the midst of his moments.

You will make known to me the way of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
In Your right hand there are pleasures forever (Psalm 16:11 NASB)

My Challenge

Not only is God with me in the grief over Marlee’s death and everything else I’m going though, but He has also created a vast world of treasures for me to behold with Him.

My challenge is to identify and eliminate all threats to recognizing His nearness . These distraction can be external, like electronic devices and busyness. Or they can be internal thoughts which rob my peace.

Prayer

Lord,

What a great morning of discovery. From the amazement of a napkin to the appreciation of time spent with a wise brother, You are calling me to slow down and behold the moments of life.

I’m sorry for how easy it is for me to be distracted by the noise of this world. There’s so much You want to show me. Please call me quickly to You when I stray. I want to behold life with You.

Thank you for how You surprise me with the joy of Your presence. No matter what I face, You are always with me.

I love you Lord.

Epilogue

As I finish this post, I get a text from Jerry – “Thanks for the obituary of your sister. The message, “God is enough”, was repeated and reinforced to me through the whole week. Having coffee at Hardee’s this morning, I was “in the moment” watching a flock of white seagulls in the parking lot in front of Food Lion against a beautiful sky. Nature speaks of God.” Jerry

Even if it’s been a tough year for you, consider this Advent season an opportunity to meet with God, to hear from Him, and to respond to the gentle nudges of the Holy Spirit within you. Nothing will nourish your soul like resetting your pace to match the Savior’s rhythm for you. Nothing re-energizes like saying no to your flesh so you can say yes to the Holy Spirit who’s ready and willing to work in you. Susie Larson

Other posts in our series In The Moments:

As Sea Gulls Fly

The Gift of Presence

It is Finished

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

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Life Long Friend

Lee and I grew up together on the same street. On summer days we’d hop on our bikes and pedal down to Shaw’s pharmacy and spend our allowance on baseball cards and fire balls. We played countless basketball games at each other’s court, swam at the community pool and played on the same little league team.

We endured our parent’s divorce during our formative years, leaving us both on shaky ground. Neither of our father’s had the capacity to help us navigate manhood, so we did the best we could. We tried to live good lives, but eventually followed our friends into experimenting with smoking and drinking. Once this began, the tide took us deeper into drugs and other misdeeds.

Lee quit high school and joined the army. I went to college.

Searching for Joy

While in college, I pursued worldly pleasures I thought would bring me joy. I almost lost a scholarship my mother worked hard to secure. During fifty cent beer night, I was arrested for DUI. As I sat in jail, before my buddies bailed me out, I realized my life was on a downward trajectory. I knew I needed God, but didn’t know how to approach Him. My experience with ‘born again’ Christians seemed to be a life of joyless rules.

In the meantime, Lee was on a similar downward spiral. He landed in jail for drug possession in California. During the incident, he was introduced to Jesus Christ as a personal Savior, not a rule demanding kill joy. His life was truly changed and he couldn’t wait to tell me.

Lee’s Questions

One day, when Lee was on furlough and I was home for the weekend, he asked me, “Robby, do you think you’re going to heaven?

“Yea,” I replied.

“How do you know?”

“I believe in Jesus, like it says in the Bible,” I replied. “I haven’t killed anybody and I’ve lived a pretty good life.”

“But the Bible says you’ll know them by their fruit,” Lee responded.

This took me back. I certainly wasn’t living a life of good fruit.

“If you want joy.” Lee continued. “Your priorities need to be Jesus first, then others and finally yourself.”

“Lee, I’d need to clean my life up first before I could give my life to Jesus.”

“Do you take a bath before you take a shower?” he asked. “Jesus will accept a person exactly where they are.”

Life in Christ

My conversation with Lee was one of the primary seeds God used to bring me to my knees months later. In late summer of 1977, I admitted to the Lord I’d made a mess of my life. I accepted what He’d done on the cross on my behalf and received His life in exchange for my sin. I had no idea what to do next, but my life in Christ had begun.

Lee and I have remained close for almost 60 years now. We realize how rare our friendship is and we don’t take it for granted. It’s extremely comforting to have a bud who’s been in your life for as long as you can remember, especially when life gets hard.

Lee’s Cancer

I got a call from Lee last month informing me there is a lump on his chest. They’d be doing a biopsy soon to see if it’s cancerous. He seemed to be handling it well, but my heart sank. Not Lee. Lord, please not cancer.

The following week he found out he has breast cancer. He told me the plan is to be determined, but he didn’t want to waste this opportunity to magnify the Lord in this very difficult situation.

Lee’s Courage

Lee is one of my heroes. Not only did he care enough to share God’s good news with me, but he models what it looks like to care more about God’s glory than his own welfare.

Yes, and I will rejoice, for I know that this will turn out for my deliverance through your prayers and the provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ, according to my earnest expectation and hope, that I will not be put to shame in anything, but that with all boldness, Christ will even now, as always, be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain (Philippians 1:18b-21 NASB)

He’s fighting to realize and walk in the fact that his well-being is tied to his closeness to God, not in his circumstances.

But as for me, the nearness of God is my good; I have made the Lord God my refuge, That I may tell of all Your works (Psalm 73:28 NASB).

From Lee’s Journal: 3/5/19 – The early morning awakenings, these are the toughest and yet they bring the most solace. It doesn’t seem I get a lot but I do get a little, and yet I desire more but even then I know not what.

My Prayer

Lord, I thank you for my friend Lee. I cherish his friendship over all these many years. In Christ, I have bold access to your throne. I know You’re able to heal Lee. Will You, please. Also, please honor his request to allow his cancer to glorify You. Use it to bring people closer to You. Draw near to Lee in the early morning hours when he needs to know You’re there. I pray these things in the faithful name of Jesus the Christ.