At the turn of the century, our family went on a short term missions trip to Mexico. During some of our down time, we decided to visit the local market. As we entered, we were amazed at the wide variety of colorful local fare, from flowers, to fruits and vegetables, to intricate crafts.
Immediately, vendors called their products to our attention for purchase. One of us, I can’t remember who, told them we wanted to look around and that we’d come back.
We spent a good bit of time enjoying the massive amount of tables, reaching deeper and deeper into the space, to the point we almost lost our way back to the front. Most of us bought at least one thing.
Suddenly, it dawned upon us how late it was, so we made our way to the front. As we exited, one of the vendors we first encountered yelled in English, “What about me?”
I felt bad and I’m not even sure we responded, but the question, “What about me?” has become a family catch phrase when one of us wants to insert ourselves.
As I continue to walk this journey with Jesus, the more I realize I’m asking the same question in my heart. What about me? Until recently, I didn’t recognize what a consuming quest this really is.
I know I’m not alone in this inward battle. Our Christian lives are a continual challenge, to live in the realities of Galatians 2:20, the great summary of God’s good news. “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.”
Living a life of “I have been crucified” is not easy.
I see what happened to two of Jesus’ disciples in Mark 9:35-37, “James and John, the two sons of Zebedee, *came up to Jesus, saying to Him, ‘Teacher, we want You to do for us whatever we ask of You.’ And He said to them, ‘What do you want Me to do for you?’ They said to Him, ‘Grant that we may sit, one on Your right and one on Your left, in Your glory.’”
They were asking, What about me?
What about me? seems to be built into the fabric of our hearts.
What I want to say is what John the Baptist said, “He must increase, but I must decrease.” (John 3:30 NASB)
What about me? is such a restricting, narrowing view. It limits the world and chokes my joy.
It’s You Lord! changes the game from introspection on my little kingdom, into full hope upon the glorious kingdom of God, waiting to explode into eternal ecstasy. [1]
What about me? requires control and strain to produce circumstances which I hope will maintain my happiness. It puts me where God should be and steals any moments of abiding in His gladness.
It’s You Lord! releases care and trusts in a loving God, who is at work in a greater story of making me more like Jesus. [2]
What about me? longs for the love and approval of others. It produces competitiveness, envy and continual effort to be liked and admired by others.
It’s You Lord! produces gratitude and praise, which keeps me peaceful under the yolk of Jesus’ gentle and humble heart. [3]
I desire this change in my heart, the transformation of John the Baptist, more than anything I can think of. But, I know this kind of work is not a self study class. If I’m to move from What about me? to It’s You Lord! it requires the Lord, not me.
Lord, show me in Your word and empower me by Your Spirit to be less about me and more about You.
He Must Increase, but I Must Decrease.
During our family vacation last year, I was walking on the beach talking with my bride about some deep spiritual matters. This was a convergence of three of our very favorite things to do together: be at the beach, walk, and talk about spiritual things.
As we walked, she said, “We all have swiss cheese hearts.”
This was a striking image as I pictured it and I’ve thought about it a lot since then. Certainly, God has created our hearts with a void only He can fill.
Examining my own heart, I’ve identified five major holes which I’ve historically tried to fill myself. I know, with Solomon, that trying to fill my eternal holes with anything of this world is vanity of vanities. [4] Yet, I scream What about me? as I try and plug these holes myself.
Perhaps others can relate.
The Need to Be Admired
In my heart, I see a deep longing to be admired. When people, especially those important to me, make me feel disliked or even hated, What about me? screams out. The “desired to be admired hole” aches with a painful feeling of being unloved.
It’s You Lord! points me to the amazing love God has for me, as revealed in His word and in His actions. Though there are many scriptures about God’s incomprehensible love for us, [5] I’ll focus on what Jesus told His disciples the night before He died, “Just as the Father has loved Me, I also have loved you; remain in My love.” (John 15:9)
The eternal love of God is the only thing which can fill my hole to be admired. Expecting this kind of love from others is toxic. It not only binds me to the approval of men, but produces a self-serving love for others, which is not sincere.
Ugh. This is really bad When What about me? comes to mind about not being admired, I determine to saturated my heart to overflowing with God’s perfect love.
It’s You Lord!
Lord, You love me with a love I’ll never fully grasp, which fills my heart to overflowing. Please remind me of this when people are mean to me and act hateful.
Resting completely in God’s love
Accepted
In my heart, I see a need to be accepted. When people, especially those important to me, make me feel rejected, What about me? screams out. The “desired to be accepted hole” aches with a painful feeling of being excluded.
It’s You Lord! points me to what God did for all of His children before the world began: Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him. In love He predestined us to adoption as sons and daughters through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, with which He favored us in the Beloved. (Ephesians 1:3-6 NASB)
God chose me, to be His child before I was even born. The passage goes on to say that in His love for me, I’ve been lavished with grace, redeemed with His love, and given His Holy Spirit as an installment of my inheritance.
I’ve had some really important people in my life reject me. And the pain does not go away. But it’s a pain of loss, not a loss of value.
No person can define my value, no matter how important. Before I breathed a breath, God called me His own. No person can change that by rejecting me.
It’s You Lord!
Lord, You’ve accepted me by Your blood. This is what matters. Please help me remember this.
Accomplished
In my heart, I see a insatiable need to accomplish things. This drive seems to always be running in the background, to the point that sometimes I have to force myself to relax.
I fight a fear of failure. What about me? yells that nothing I do is good enough. And there’s the problem in the open. What “I” do.
It’s You Lord! points me to II Corinthians 5:21: He made Him who knew no sin to be sin in our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.
Me trying to accomplish some righteousness of my own is the very essence of stupidity. Not only is it impossible, (all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God) [5], but it’s an affront to what Christ has done for me. I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness comes through the Law, then Christ died needlessly. (Galatians 2:21 NASB)
Will I fail? Most definitely; every day. But am I a failure? By now means.
But as for me, I stand on the righteousness of Christ.
It’s You Lord!
You have given me Your righteousness. You have made me complete, fully accomplished in You. Please help me remember this when I feel like a failure.
Affirmed
In my heart, I see a need to be affirmed, to be recognized, to have my achievements pointed out. What about me? wants my glory to shine.
My, my, my. Me, me me. As I write it’s more than ludicrous. Yet, the temptation rises.
When I think about what Jesus did for me, I realize He wants me to consider myself dead when it comes to my glory. Paul actually wrote this in Colossians 3:3-4: For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory.
It’s You Lord! helps me realize I’m hidden in Christ. That’s affirmation enough. It’s His life which is to be celebrated, His glory. Why would a dead man need to be recognized and given credit anyway?
Christ is my life. No need to be individually affirmed. One day, I’ll be revealed with Him in glory. His glory, not mine.
Lord, please help me remember this when I feel the need to be recognized and given credit for anything. No need to strive to be affirmed. I rest in You.
Appeased
In my heart, I recognize the deep need to be satisfied, for my longings to be appeased. As mentioned before, God put longing in every human heart. [6]
Blaise Pascal wrote, “There is a God shaped vacuum in the heart of each man which cannot be satisfied by any created thing, but only by God the creator made known by Jesus Christ.”
What about me? believes I must plug these holes myself. But I can’t. I’ve tried being admired by people, accomplishing many tasks, being pliable to be accepted, and competing to be affirmed.
I’m realizing that the sum of these searches for lasting joy only leave my wanting all the more.
I hear with Abram, “Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward.” (Genesis 15:1 NIV)
I now agree with Asaph, “But as for me, the nearness of God is my good;” (Psalm 73:28a NASB).
And with David, “You have put gladness in my heart, More than when their grain and new wine abound.” (Psalm 4:7 NASB)
It’s You Lord! is the answer to every hole in my swiss cheese heart.
Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; he who comes to Me will not hunger, and he who believes in Me will never thirst.” (John 6:35 NASB)
These are some holes in my heart which begin with ‘A’. Lord, show me the whole alphabet. (8^>
Prayer
Lord, I depend upon me so often; even now, after decades of being Your disciple. But You are teaching me to rest in Your yoke. It’s not up to me anymore. It never was.
It’s Your glory, Lord, never mine. When a thought comes to highlight me, please remind me quickly that it’s You.
Lead me, I pray, to quickly disagree with the lies and agree with the truth that I’m complete in You, filled to the brim and overflowing with You in all areas.
In You, I’m always admired, always accepted, fully accomplished, affirmed in Your glory, and fully satisfied by You, my Bread of life. Your rivers of waters completely saturate my thirst.
You want me free, really free.
Please continue to show me ways I choose me and not You, my will and not Yours.
I must decrease and You must increase.
I love You Lord.
Amen.
Journal Time
With your journal in hand, write down any What about me? areas in your own life. It could be one or more identified above or different ones.
When is it most often manifested?
Write down ways you think your self focus hampers your life.
What difference would it make if God was your focus and not you?
Write a prayer expressing your desires to make a change and be less self focused and more God focused, recognizing the need for the Holy Spirit to enable you.
If you’re willing, ask Him to continue to reveal self focused ways in you. He will.
Come back to this journal entry often.
[1] Romans 8:18-23
[2] Romans 8:28-29
[3] Matthew 11:28-30
[4] Ecclesiastes 2:11-22
[5] Romans 3:23
[6] Ecclesiastes 3:11
Other Posts in our Rhythms of Joy Series:
Joy is Important Because it’s an Experience of God
The Amazing Connection Between Grace and Joy
Moving from Discouraged to Encouraged
Coming to Terms with Hard Things
Please Check out the Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.
Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.
Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading.
Novels by the Author:
What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for? Beyond Time
By finding two undelivered letters in a old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains