Tag Archives: discouraged

Raw and Weary

(The Everlasting Way) Courage Rising

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I woke up this morning with light breaking through in my weary soul.

It’s a few days after Christmas, and it’s been a December to remember. In the last three weeks my bride has been through teeth issues, a severe case of shingles (V2 – maxillary variation, which affected the middle of her the left side of her face, very close to her eye), and potentially life-threatening blood clots (two of which traveled to her lungs).

She has been such a trouper through it all. 

Personally, I’ve felt extremely inadequate in my role as health care nurse. Nothing in me could have ensured my bride got the care she needed. But God’s strength held us up. I’m seeing that coming to the end of me sooner than later is way better, allowing His strength to shine through me. But it hasn’t been easy. 😑

I haven’t felt a lot of emotions during this time. As has been my MO, I tend to take a deep breath and keep on keeping on with whatever is required. This can be good, but now that there’s a break in the storm, I’m trying to care for my heart, to bring the realities of what’s been happening to Jesus, Keeper of my soul.

During my “soldiering on,” there was a moment, during the operation to remove the clots from my bride’s leg, that the severity of her situation hit me and emotions flowed.

At around 10:30 am, they wheeled her down to a special surgery room in the basement for a procedure that would last about an hour and a half. I met the surgeon and was told where to wait around the corner.

After two hours, I began to worry. I walked around to the surgery room and peeked in through a crack in the door. Bad idea. All I saw was a bunch of blood. Was she okay?

A few minutes later, the surgeon came in and let us know the surgery was successful, but that the clotting was quite extensive. He showed us the clot board. 

My brother-in-law, a cardiologist, flew down from Wilmington, N.C. for the day. After the surgery, he told me how serious the whole thing was.

As my bride continues to heal, I sense a measure of healing in my own soul. As I begin to come out of the raw weariness of what we’ve been experiencing, the Lord is showing me how to steward my heart, bringing all that I am to Him, my God of all comfort. [1]

 I’ve been quite discouraged, although I’ve only recently realized it.

Today I sense courage rising.

Affection

God’s truth always brings me courage. I turn to some of my favorite verses.

If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. 2 Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth (Colossians 3:1-2 KJV).

I particularly like the way the King James renders ‘affection’ from the Greek word – “phroneite.”   

Other versions translate the Greek word as “mind.” But the idea of setting my “affection” on the things above resonates with me this morning.

“Affection” brings my focus from thinking to a heartfelt, whole-soul longing.

It’s so easy for me to set my affections on the happenings of this world, seeking in what I see and experience to carry my hope, my peace, and my joy. These verses help change my focus from all that’s swirling around me and helps me orient my life around God’s eternal truths.

Setting my fondness, my tenderness, my devotion, my attentiveness, my attachment, and my caring on the things above, rather than on the fragility of the here and now, makes so much more sense.

But how do I do that?

Attentiveness

Attentiveness is listed as a synonym for affection.

Our attention is a resource of our minds. Perhaps that’s where the term ‘pay attention’ comes from.

If I spend my attention on sports, politics, entertainment, leisure, etc., these things tend to dominate my affections. There’s nothing wrong with any of these, but they need to be subservient to my higher affection: my Lord Jesus Christ, His commands, and His Kingdom.

As He said:

But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you (Matthew 6:33).

And He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the great and foremost commandment. 39 The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets” (Matthew 22:37-40).

These verses seem to capture Jesus’ desire for us to set our attention and affections on loving Him and others, and on His emerging Kingdom (His rule and His reign).

Only by abiding in the Indwelling Holy Spirit, and yielding to His power, can I set my affection on the things above and not on the temporal things around me. [2]

Prayer

Lord, I thank You so much for Your care for us during these last three weeks. You’ve entrusted us with some hard things, but You have never left our sides.

These hard times quickly brought me to the end of me.[3] I can’t but You can. I need You desperately.

Thank You for the practical ways my wife is seeing how much I love her as You nurse her through me.

Thank You for bringing light to my weary soul and helping me process what we’re going through. And please continue Your healing of my bride, as the pain of shingles continues. 

And Lord, I desire to set my affections on things above, on You and Your emerging Kingdom. Please keep my attention on these things as the temporal world continues to swirl around me. 

Thank You for giving me courage through the truths of Your word.

I love You so much!

Reflection

As I continue to ponder, I see the connection between affection and affecting.

My affections affect who I am.

The words affect and affection come from the same Latin root meaning – “a state produced in a person by something acting upon them.” [4]

As I set my affections on the Lord and His ways, I’m affected in deep, soul transforming ways. 

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. 18 But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit (II Corinthians 3:17-18).

As I am transformed, I pray I might affect (love) all those around me as Christ has loved me. [5]

As I’m affected in the ways of Christ, as Christ is formed in me [6], His life is revealed. 

For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God (Colossians 3:3).

Quotes 

  • “Where your pleasure is, there is your treasure; where your treasure is, there is your heart; where your heart is, there is your happiness.”  Augustine of Hippo (Augustine is essentially saying: your affections follow what you attend to.) [4]

  • “We are often distracted by trifles, and seldom fully recollected.” Thomas à Kempis (Our attention drifts toward what our hearts are already leaning toward.) [4]

  • “Set your affections on the things above, and your thoughts will follow.” John Owens (He often taught that attention is the steering wheel of the heart.) [4]

[1] II Corinthians 1:3-5

[2] John 15:5

[3] II Corinthians 1:8-9

[4] From Co-Pilot

[5] John 13:34-35, John 15:12

Note: Unless otherwise noted, all referenced Scripture is from the NASB 1995 version of the Bible.

Other posts in our Everlasting Way Series:

Learning How to Overcome Emotional Numbness

Embracing God’s Amazing Love

Are we More Like Batman or Spider-Man

Transforming Awareness: The Power of God’s Love

Minding Your Busyness

Our Deepest Longings Filled

Rules Don’t Rule

Mice in the Sock Drawer

Turning Gainers into Drainers

Until the Darkness Fades

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 

Robby Buck

Nonfiction books by the Author:

This collection of devotionals chronicles a heartfelt journey from a life of striving and self-reliance to one of growing surrender and trust in God.

Through personal stories of family struggles, cancer, grief, and unexpected trials, the devotions show that true, unshakeable joy comes not from perfect circumstances, but from the constant, loving presence of Jesus Christ.

It’s an invitation to learn to let go of our burdens and find growing peace in God’s greater story.

Finding Joy in Life’s Moments

Because joy is rooted in God and is eternal, it doesn’t ebb and flow with the waves of circumstances. In fact, as we grow in our understanding of joy, we can even experience it more acutely when life is hard. Why? Because God uses trials to conform us into the image of Christ. With this awareness, which gives us glimpses of God’s greater purposes, we rejoice because of His masterful work to free us from needing anything but Him.

For these reasons, and many others, joy in the Lord is commanded in scripture. It’s not just a good idea, it’s vital to our journey as human beings. Rhythms of Joy

Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in an old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowingly set off a series of events which uncovers a plot to wipe out a whole family. Hope Remains

Please Check out the  Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

Raw and Weary

(The Everlasting Way) Courage Rising

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I woke up this morning with light breaking through in my weary soul.

It’s a few days after Christmas, and it’s been a December to remember. In the last three weeks my bride has been through teeth issues, a severe case of shingles (V2 – maxillary variation, which affected the middle of her the left side of her face, very close to her eye), and potentially life-threatening blood clots (two of which traveled to her lungs).

She has been such a trouper through it all. 

Personally, I’ve felt extremely inadequate in my role as health care nurse. Nothing in me could have ensured my bride got the care she needed. But God’s strength held us up. I’m seeing that coming to the end of me sooner than later is way better, allowing His strength to shine through me. But it hasn’t been easy. 😑

I haven’t felt a lot of emotions during this time. As has been my MO, I tend to take a deep breath and keep on keeping on with whatever is required. This can be good, but now that there’s a break in the storm, I’m trying to care for my heart, to bring the realities of what’s been happening to Jesus, Keeper of my soul.

During my “soldiering on,” there was a moment, during the operation to remove the clots from my bride’s leg, that the severity of her situation hit me and emotions flowed.

At around 10:30 am, they wheeled her down to a special surgery room in the basement for a procedure that would last about an hour and a half. I met the surgeon and was told where to wait around the corner.

After two hours, I began to worry. I walked around to the surgery room and peeked in through a crack in the door. Bad idea. All I saw was a bunch of blood. Was she okay?

A few minutes later, the surgeon came in and let us know the surgery was successful, but that the clotting was quite extensive. He showed us the clot board. 

My brother-in-law, a cardiologist, flew down from Wilmington, N.C. for the day. After the surgery, he told me how serious the whole thing was.

As my bride continues to heal, I sense a measure of healing in my own soul. As I begin to come out of the raw weariness of what we’ve been experiencing, the Lord is showing me how to steward my heart, bringing all that I am to Him, my God of all comfort. [1]

 I’ve been quite discouraged, although I’ve only recently realized it.

Today I sense courage rising.

Affection

God’s truth always brings me courage. I turn to some of my favorite verses.

If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. 2 Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth (Colossians 3:1-2 KJV).

I particularly like the way the King James renders ‘affection’ from the Greek word – “phroneite.”   

Other versions translate the Greek word as “mind.” But the idea of setting my “affection” on the things above resonates with me this morning.

“Affection” brings my focus from thinking to a heartfelt, whole-soul longing.

It’s so easy for me to set my affections on the happenings of this world, seeking in what I see and experience to carry my hope, my peace, and my joy. These verses help change my focus from all that’s swirling around me and helps me orient my life around God’s eternal truths.

Setting my fondness, my tenderness, my devotion, my attentiveness, my attachment, and my caring on the things above, rather than on the fragility of the here and now, makes so much more sense.

But how do I do that?

Attentiveness

Attentiveness is listed as a synonym for affection.

Our attention is a resource of our minds. Perhaps that’s where the term ‘pay attention’ comes from.

If I spend my attention on sports, politics, entertainment, leisure, etc., these things tend to dominate my affections. There’s nothing wrong with any of these, but they need to be subservient to my higher affection: my Lord Jesus Christ, His commands, and His Kingdom.

As He said:

But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you (Matthew 6:33).

And He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the great and foremost commandment. 39 The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets” (Matthew 22:37-40).

These verses seem to capture Jesus’ desire for us to set our attention and affections on loving Him and others, and on His emerging Kingdom (His rule and His reign).

Only by abiding in the Indwelling Holy Spirit, and yielding to His power, can I set my affection on the things above and not on the temporal things around me. [2]

Prayer

Lord, I thank You so much for Your care for us during these last three weeks. You’ve entrusted us with some hard things, but You have never left our sides.

These hard times quickly brought me to the end of me.[3] I can’t but You can. I need You desperately.

Thank You for the practical ways my wife is seeing how much I love her as You nurse her through me.

Thank You for bringing light to my weary soul and helping me process what we’re going through. And please continue Your healing of my bride, as the pain of shingles continues. 

And Lord, I desire to set my affections on things above, on You and Your emerging Kingdom. Please keep my attention on these things as the temporal world continues to swirl around me. 

Thank You for giving me courage through the truths of Your word.

I love You so much!

Reflection

As I continue to ponder, I see the connection between affection and affecting.

My affections affect who I am.

The words affect and affection come from the same Latin root meaning – “a state produced in a person by something acting upon them.” [4]

As I set my affections on the Lord and His ways, I’m affected in deep, soul transforming ways. 

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. 18 But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit (II Corinthians 3:17-18).

As I am transformed, I pray I might affect (love) all those around me as Christ has loved me. [5]

As I’m affected in the ways of Christ, as Christ is formed in me [6], His life is revealed. 

For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God (Colossians 3:3).

Quotes 

  • “Where your pleasure is, there is your treasure; where your treasure is, there is your heart; where your heart is, there is your happiness.”  Augustine of Hippo (Augustine is essentially saying: your affections follow what you attend to.) [4]

  • “We are often distracted by trifles, and seldom fully recollected.” Thomas à Kempis (Our attention drifts toward what our hearts are already leaning toward.) [4]

  • “Set your affections on the things above, and your thoughts will follow.” John Owens (He often taught that attention is the steering wheel of the heart.) [4]

[1] II Corinthians 1:3-5

[2] John 15:5

[3] II Corinthians 1:8-9

[4] From Co-Pilot

[5] John 13:34-35, John 15:12

Note: Unless otherwise noted, all referenced Scripture is from the NASB 1995 version of the Bible.

Other posts in our Everlasting Way Series:

Learning How to Overcome Emotional Numbness

Embracing God’s Amazing Love

Are we More Like Batman or Spider-Man

Transforming Awareness: The Power of God’s Love

Minding Your Busyness

Our Deepest Longings Filled

Rules Don’t Rule

Mice in the Sock Drawer

Turning Gainers into Drainers

Until the Darkness Fades

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 

Robby Buck

Nonfiction books by the Author:

This collection of devotionals chronicles a heartfelt journey from a life of striving and self-reliance to one of growing surrender and trust in God.

Through personal stories of family struggles, cancer, grief, and unexpected trials, the devotions show that true, unshakeable joy comes not from perfect circumstances, but from the constant, loving presence of Jesus Christ.

It’s an invitation to learn to let go of our burdens and find growing peace in God’s greater story.

Finding Joy in Life’s Moments

Because joy is rooted in God and is eternal, it doesn’t ebb and flow with the waves of circumstances. In fact, as we grow in our understanding of joy, we can even experience it more acutely when life is hard. Why? Because God uses trials to conform us into the image of Christ. With this awareness, which gives us glimpses of God’s greater purposes, we rejoice because of His masterful work to free us from needing anything but Him.

For these reasons, and many others, joy in the Lord is commanded in scripture. It’s not just a good idea, it’s vital to our journey as human beings. Rhythms of Joy

Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in an old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowingly set off a series of events which uncovers a plot to wipe out a whole family. Hope Remains

Please Check out the  Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

Addicted to Pleasing People

(In the Moments) Done with People Pleasing

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My first year of Little League was a bust. I couldn’t connect with even an eleven-year-old fastball. Though our team won the championship, I felt like a worthless hindrance. By obligation, Coach Goodnight would send me to the plate, once every game or so, to take my three swings and sit down.

I felt like giving up, but I loved baseball. During the offseason, I spent a lot of time working on my eye hand coordination and improving my bat speed.

I imagine seeing me at tryouts the following year didn’t thrill Coach Goodnight. But, to my delight, my training paid off. I could connect on pitches, even from a twelve-year-old. He assigned me the starting second baseman role because I was a decent fielder.

One Saturday morning, as we warmed up for one of our home games, I saw that Pop, my paternal grandfather, had joined my mother in the stands. This delighted me and I especially wanted to play well.

Runners were on first and second when my first at-bat occurred. I can still picture the details in my mind over fifty years later. I swung hard at the first pitch. It was an outside, so being a right-handed batter, the ball lined between the first and second basemen, heading for the fence. As I rounded first base, I kept running past second and headed for third. I slid in ahead of the tag for a triple, driving in two runs.

It wasn’t a Mickey Mantle home run, but I couldn’t have been more excited. When the dust cleared and I stood on third base, I looked up into the crowd and singled out Pop.  He had a huge grin on his face, wildly clapping. He was proud of me.

People Pleasing

There certainly is a place for pleasing those we cherish. As children, parental acceptance and love are important, but we can easily equate our performance with our value. After all, we learn from an early age how our achievements bring us favor. Passing marks in school means we get promoted to the next grade. Doing well during tryouts earns us a part in the play. Obeying our parents keeps us from being punished.

It’s easy to conclude that what we do determines how much we’re loved. But this contradicts the good news of Jesus Christ. Paul rebuked the Galatians sharply concerning their works-righteous “gospel,” particularly their people-pleasing.

As we have said before, even now I say again: if anyone is preaching to you a gospel contrary to what you received, he is to be accursed!

 For am I now seeking the favor of people, or of God? Or am I striving to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ (Galatians 1:9-10 NASB).

Focused on Christ

We’re to live Godly lives but not to earn affection. Only God’s approval is necessary, and Jesus took care of that for us. Our right standing with God is based on what Christ has done, not on anything we could ever accomplish. [1]

Jesus modeled a life of setting aside His own will and living only to please His Father [2]. This focus freed Him from being bound by the actions and opinions of men. Resting in His Father’s love, Jesus didn’t need to depend on the opinions of men. And neither do we.

But Jesus, on His part, was not entrusting Himself to them, because He knew all people, and because He did not need anyone to testify about mankind, for He Himself knew what was in mankind (John 2:24-25 NASB).

Challenge

Do you, like me, sometimes struggle with equating your value with how others see you? Perhaps, like my first year of little league, you feel worthless because of your performance. A counselor once told me that depending on what others think of you is like handing an identity box to someone else, a boss, a spouse, a friend. When we do this, we give them power to assess our value.

God adopted us into His family as His children. Hidden in Christ Jesus [4], united with Him.  In Christ, we already please God.

As believers, we’re left with a fundamental change. We must leave behind our dependence upon others for approval. We live now only to please our Father God. And, as we rest in Christ, His life in us is what pleases God.

Spend some time evaluating how you see yourself. You may be believing lies from long ago that the enemy is using to keep you in bondage and steal your joy. Your value is not in what people think about you. You’re not what you accomplish or the lies you believe about yourself. The truth of the matter is that you are what God thinks about you. As believers in Jesus Christ, we rest in God’s eternal, never changing love for us. 

His perfect love casts out all fear, all of it. [5]

We get to set aside all worries of what people think of us and live every moment for our Audience of One, knowing his love and acceptance knows no bounds.

Prayer

Lord, as I picture Pop smiling and cheering me on that day so many years ago, I remember that You delight in me even more than he did. [6] Help me rest in Your love and acceptance, no matter how folks treat me. I trust in You alone. I release my addiction to worrying about what people think of me, my fear of letting folks down.

Help me never to depend upon any human for my well-being. May I continually trust in You alone.

Please keep me focused on You throughout each day. When I stray from living only for You, please remind me quickly.

Amen.

[1] II Corinthians 5:21, Ephesians 2:4-7

[2] John 5:30

[3] Ephesians 1:3-10

[4] Colossians 3:3

[5] I John 4:18

[6] Zephaniah 3:17

Other posts in our series In the Moments:

As Sea Gulls Fly

It is Finished

Behold the Moments

Tranquility

Stop Striving

Simplicity In Christ

What is Good

Yet Will I Rejoice

Sorrowful, Yet Always Rejoicing

Exploring Grace and Joy together

Stay Present My Friends

Quiddity. It Could Change Your Life

The Cake Maker’s Blunder

God at Work (No Trespassing)

Hidden with Christ in God

Finding Joy in Love and Relationships

Escaping the Rat Race

When I don’t Feel God’s Loving Kindness

Experiencing Completeness in Christ

Overcoming Pain Through Faith

Recalibrating Our Hearts

The Joy of Waiting

On the Fifth Day God Created Dog

When Things get Really Hard

A No Lose Situation, Even with Cancer

Hey Pop

Mustering Our Faith

Lord, You’ve Got to this. I Can’t

Better Than Life

Lord, if You are with us, why are all these things happening?

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 

Robby Buck

Nonfiction books by the Author:

Because joy is rooted in God and is eternal, it doesn’t ebb and flow with the waves of circumstances. In fact, as we grow in our understanding of joy, we can even experience it more acutely when life is hard. Why? Because God uses trials to conform us into the image of Christ. With this awareness, which gives us glimpses of God’s greater purposes, we rejoice because of His masterful work to free us from needing anything but Him.

For these reasons, and many others, joy in the Lord is commanded in scripture. It’s not just a good idea, it’s vital to our journey as human beings. Rhythms of Joy

Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in an old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains

Please Check out the  Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

 

God's Eternal Purposes, God's Greater Story

(In the Moments) If God is with us, why are These Things Happening?

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While sitting in a dungy cell, John the Baptist shifted from pointing out Jesus as the Lamb of God to wondering if another should be expected.

Now when John, while imprisoned, heard of the works of Christ, he sent word by his disciples and said to Him, “Are You the Expected One, or shall we look for someone else?” (Matthew 11:2-3 NASB).

Jesus responded, telling John’s disciples to report to him that blind folks were seeing, the lame were walking, lepers were being cleansed, the dead were being raised, and the good news of the gospel was being preached to the poor. [1]

Then He said, “And blessed is he who does not take offense at Me,” (Matthew 11:6 NASB).

Others have had similar confusion.

After the angel of the Lord said to Gideon, “The Lord is with you, O valiant warrior.”  (Judges 6:12 NASB) He asked, “O my lord, if the Lord is with us, why then has all this happened to us?” (Judges 6:13b NASB)

Since God is good and powerful, it seems natural to expect His presence to produce pleasant times. 

During our hard times, how do we keep from stumbling and keep on trusting? How do we keep on obeying and not become discouraged?

Blessed Are Those Who Don’t Take Offense

Jesus’ message to John the Baptist about folks being blessed when they don’t take offense at Him lets us know it’s possible to see things differently.

But how?

We get some ideas by reading what a couple of Jesus’ disciples wrote after years of following Him.

Peter

In fear of his life, Peter denied Christ three times, even with a curse. [2] Though he was one of Jesus’ closest disciples, he hadn’t yet grasped how God can use hard times to achieve something far greater than carefree days. 

Around 40 years later, he wrote the following verses: In this (the fact that we have a constant hope, an inheritance which will never fail, and are guarded by God) you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which perishes though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise, glory, and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ; and though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, obtaining as the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls (I Peter 1:6-9 NASB).

Through these years, God had been at work, through Peter’s own trials, to give him a new view of God’s ways for His children. 

Peter learned that trials may be required to prove our faith and deepen our trust in God, that eventually these trials will cause praise, glory, and honor. He also learned that even during trials, there’s a significant reason for us to rejoice and have expressible joy.

Peter’s transformation is a miracle. And God is at work in us to achieve something similar. 

Paul

Until Jesus radically intervened in his life, Paul thought he was doing God’s bidding by killing Christians. 

Like Peter, Christ taught Paul how hard times can deepen his trust and build his relationship with God.

See what he wrote in 2nd Corinthians 1:8-9, “For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers and sisters, of our affliction which occurred in Asia, that we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead. 

It’s difficult to see the good when things are really hard, but Paul saw it took utter despair for him to learn to stop trusting in himself. The situation was so dire, he could only cry out to God. As a result, his faith grew.

Challenge

Like John the Baptizer, Gideon, Peter and Paul, we have and will face circumstances which seem beyond our abilities to endure.

What trial(s) are you going through right now?

Are you aware of God’s greater purpose for His children? He wants more for us than just happy circumstances.

When Paul tells us that God is working in all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purposes, he’s referring to something better than a tranquil life. God’s purposes are to give us the freedom and joy of being conformed into the image of Christ. [3] 

There are profoundly sanctifying forces at work when we cling to Jesus during our pain. Trials loosen our grip on lesser loves, freeing us to fully enjoy Jesus, who never leaves us.

Trials can bring us joy because they develop endurance, which leads us to becoming complete, lacking nothing. They can show us we don’t need a life of ease to be joyful. [4]

Prayer

Lord, I’m sorry for ever assuming that being with You meant my life would be easy. I recognize that Your nearness is my good, not smooth circumstances, “For me, the nearness of God is my good.” (Psalm 73:28)

I know You love me and that You want me to enjoy the moments of my life with You, no matter what I face.

Though I would have never chosen the present trials in my life, I’m amazed at how I love You with greater ferocity because You’re using them to dislodge idols from my heart.

Please continue to show me anything and anyone I’ve chosen instead of You. Free me of these, I pray.

I love you.

  Amen

[1] Matthew 11:2-5

[2] Matthew 26:74

[3] Romans 8:28-29 

[4] James 1:2-4

Other posts in our series In the Moments:

As Sea Gulls Fly

It is Finished

Behold the Moments

Tranquility

Stop Striving

Simplicity In Christ

What is Good

Yet Will I Rejoice

Sorrowful, Yet Always Rejoicing

Exploring Grace and Joy together

Stay Present My Friends

Quiddity. It Could Change Your Life

The Cake Maker’s Blunder

God at Work (No Trespassing)

Hidden with Christ in God

Finding Joy in Love and Relationships

Escaping the Rat Race

When I don’t Feel God’s Loving Kindness

Experiencing Completeness in Christ

Overcoming Pain Through Faith

Recalibrating Our Hearts

The Joy of Waiting

On the Fifth Day God Created Dog

When Things get Really Hard

A No Lose Situation, Even with Cancer

Hey Pop

Mustering Our Faith

Lord, You’ve Got to this. I Can’t

Better Than Life

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 

Robby Buck

Nonfiction books by the Author:

Because joy is rooted in God and is eternal, it doesn’t ebb and flow with the waves of circumstances. In fact, as we grow in our understanding of joy, we can even experience it more acutely when life is hard. Why? Because God uses trials to conform us into the image of Christ. With this awareness, which gives us glimpses of God’s greater purposes, we rejoice because of His masterful work to free us from needing anything but Him.

For these reasons, and many others, joy in the Lord is commanded in scripture. It’s not just a good idea, it’s vital to our journey as human beings. Rhythms of Joy

Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in an old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains

Please Check out the  Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

 

The Righteousness of God

Packages (Part 6)

Leave a comment 
Dear reader, Packages is an allegory. There will be roughly a dozen parts before Bobby wakes up from a very long, lifelike dream. He'll then seek an interpretation.

Part 1 

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

I found myself on the packages again on Saturday, with no body of water in sight. I sat deep in a valley, surrounded by towering piles of boxes. The rising sun remained hidden from view; its presence only hinted at by the pastel hues of dawn. The location matched my mood.

The sobering events of the previous day made me cringe as they seeped into my groggy consciousness. As troubling as the work situation was, I was more concerned about not being reconciled with Jill. Over the years, we’d learned to navigate through difficulties, particularly when one could sense the other’s reaction stemmed from unresolved past hurts. Together, with faith in God, we’d learned to reveal and dismantle the longstanding falsehoods that had troubled our lives. It was rare for us to sleep without settling our differences and kissing. The previous night was particularly challenging because we both reacted from deep-seated pain and failed to extend grace before the day’s end. I knew it was my responsibility to lead in that regard, but I hadn’t.

I recalled His words that the packages were brimming with kindness, grace, and love—qualities I desperately needed to embrace the day ahead. Accepting His grace proved particularly challenging. Especially in light of how I’d failed to lead Jill and, with my growing unforgiveness and bitterness with Mike.

Even so, I was certain nothing could separate me from God’s love, not even my own shame.

I contemplated the Hebrew word “Hesed,” which translates to lovingkindness.

And Psalm 23 verse 6: Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life, And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

I recalled that this word embodies a divine love which transcends human understanding; like how God pursues us, in spite of our disobedience. Like how Hosea pursued Gomer, his harlot wife. [1]

Immersed in a deep awareness of His lovingkindness, my heart grew tender. I longed to embrace Jill and admit my mistake. We never do well when we’re not right with each other. 

“There’s something else in these boxes,” He said, again catching me off guard. “You’re absorbing more than just kindness, grace and love.”

“Read II Corinthians 5:21.”

I picked up the Bible resting on the box in front of me and read, He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

“Can you guess what else you’ve been soaking in?” He asked.

“The righteousness of Christ Jesus?”

“Very good. Can that righteousness be diminished by anything you do or don’t do?” 

I paused a moment before answering. A new understanding was budding in my heart. “No. Since You chose me, by Your mercy, to be Your son before I was even born, nothing I do or don’t do can affect it. Right?”

 “That’s right,” He said. “My children know this, but our enemy is relentless in seeking to hide My grace and love. His efforts are multiplied as his end draws near. Bobby, sometimes you still soak in his lies and not My truth”

“What did Paul say about righteousness in Ephesians 6?”

“He told us to put on the breastplate of righteousness, as we gird our loins with truth and take up the shield of faith.” I felt faith rising and continued. “This allows us to extinguish all the flaming missiles of the evil one. All of them!”

“Never drop your shield of faith. Believe you have My righteousness. No matter what happens, stay the course.”

Having rekindled my faith, He left me to my reflections. The shame I felt now appeared absurd. I knew my life was meant to be rooted in His righteousness, not my own. I realized that whenever I lost focus on this truth, I was on shacky ground and very vulnerable.

Unbeknownst to me, I was no longer in a valley; the mound of packages I rested on had ascended beyond the horizon. I was now in full view of a crystal blue sea, which reflected the magnificence of the eternal dawn.

Jill and I were able to have a cup of coffee together before I went to the office. I apologized for acting out of my fear of failure and need to succeed. I also told her I was sorry for not initiating forgiveness the night before. 

“I forgive you on both counts,” she said, as we hugged. “I’m not sure I was ready to be resolved last night anyway. I was stewing in my own feelings of rejection. But I recognized this morning that these lies are ancient. I’m sorry too. God has used you to help me see the lies from the past I still tend to live in.”

“I’m glad,” I said. “Us honoring our covenant of marriage before God has been what’s held us together and allowed our love to grow. We’ve had some very hard stretches.”

She agreed.

As I entered the office, I heard, “Ask Me.”

I found Kevin at his desk, his head in his hands, same shirt on from the day before. “The batches of data are two large,” he said in a defeated tone when he noticed me. “I tried dividing them into smaller datasets, but they lose the associated header, footer and provider tags. I’m out of ideas.”

I’d never seen Kevin in such a state. His perseverance and determination were remarkable, but he was clearly at the end of his rope.

Remembering His message, I asked Him for guidance. Then I ran through different possibilities in my mind.

“I have an idea,” I said after a few minutes. “I think I can use Easytrieve, a mainframe programming tool, to generate smaller datasets while preserving the tags. This would mean we’d be handling smaller batches during the data transfer and the script processing.”

Kevin thought it was a good idea and assisted me in mapping the fields. In forty-five minutes, we’d successfully written a quick program and validated the theory with a batch of data which had previously abended. 

“Eureka!” Kevin exclaimed. We did a computer nerd version of a high five.

 We kicked off a batch of scripts, which we hoped would process all the data by early Sunday afternoon. He showed me how to check for problems in his script and how to monitor the progress remotely.

I sent him home to rest and made sure the first few batches were successful.

When I got home, Jill was wrapping Alice’s surprise birthday gift.

The plan was for us to distract Alice in the backyard while friends and family streamed into her house to surprise her. 

“I can hide her present in the bottom of my purse,” Jill exclaimed. 

“I knew that giant bag would come in handy for something,” I joked, earning me a playful elbow to the ribs.

I was so excited about our gift to Alice. Knowing his days on earth were winding down, her husband, Ray, had asked me to video a message to his family. Jill and I downloaded it to an electronic picture frame, which was our present to Alice and their kids. 

Right before we knocked on the back door, my phone vibrated with a text. Jill heard it too and looked at me with disappointment.

“Is it work?” she exclaimed bitterly.

The extensive time and mental energy I devoted to work-related activities over the years had become a longstanding source of pain and feelings of neglect for Jill. I endeavored to understand my wife better, continually learning more about her. I was beginning to realize that some of her reactions stemmed from deep-seated pain, some of which originated in her childhood and was triggered by something I did, said, or failed to do. While I acknowledge that I have also caused her pain, I was learning not to take it personally all the time. This approach helped me to remain non-defensive, at least some of the time. Which is hard for a guy like me who thrives to succeed and please people.

“No, it’s Sammy,” I replied, also happy it wasn’t work related. “He’s asking if he and his family can join us at our church tomorrow.”

“Wow! That would be great,” Jill exclaimed. “Alton as well?”

“I’m not sure,” I replied, as I knocked on Alice’s back door. I heard, “Be bold.“

To Be Continued

[1] The book of Hosea

Please Check out the  Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 

Robby Buck

Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in a old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains

 

The Lord our Courage

Packages (Part 5)

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Dear reader, Some of you have asked where this Packages series is going. It's an allegory. There will be resolution and interpretation.

Part 1 

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

As I found myself resting on the packages the next morning, I wondered again if I was experiencing a long dream. If so, I hoped it would end soon. I had so many questions.

How did my time resting on these packages each morning seem to fuel my interaction with people that day.? How could cardboard boxes cause me to be filled with a quality of love which seemed out of this world? It had to be Him and not the packages.

Though I saw packages addressed to each person, I never remembered physically handing them to anyone. Was delivery really about the interaction and not the actual packages?

I did get my job back, but with conditions. I was put on probation and warned not to “push” my faith on anyone. I wasn’t sure what that meant, but I didn’t trust Mike enough to ask him. 

I determined to still offer to pray with folks as the opportunity arose. And if asked, I would explain the reason for my hope to anyone. Resting on the packages, I felt certain of this. I hoped I’d stand firm when opportunities for boldness arose.  

I didn’t want to regret not allowing the light of Jesus to shine through me.

Then He spoke. This time, my anger at Fred’s cancer was not within me. Being with Sammy and Alton had given me a new perspective.

Reading my thoughts, He said, “You are learning my son. Like Sammy, like Fred, God sized problems are meant to prove you can’t. And when you see that, you learn that I can.

“What did Paul write in II Corinthians 1:8-9?”

I picked up the Bible resting on the box in front of me and read, “For we do not want you to be unaware, brethren, of our affliction which came to us in Asia, that we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life; 9 indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead;”

“What was Paul going through?” He asked.

“So many difficulties that he despaired of his life. I guess he’d come to the end of his strength.”

“Exactly, you’ve read in other places what he endured.  [1] So you have an idea of what it might have been. What was his conclusion?” 

“He realized since the situation was beyond his abilities to endure, trusting in himself was no longer an option. He had to learn to trust in You.”

“That’s right,” He said. “Can you relate?”

I could. Several situations came to mind, including our difficulties with our oldest child. I remember thinking once, when that and other problems seemed to multiple, that if I knew where to go to give up, I would. I wasn’t suicidal, but like Paul, I’d come to the end of me.

Again, reading my thoughts, He said, “You made a wise choice back then. You could have wasted the pain by trying to numb it, but you brought it all to Me.” 

It was Friday.  The end of a very weird week. I was hoping Mike had assigned someone to handle my duties. Otherwise, it was going to be a long weekend. I imagined Kevin would have been given some of my tasks, but he had his own work to do.

Kevin looked up from his cubicle when I arrived and followed me into my office. 

I heard, “Be courageous.”

After discussing the current work load, Kevin said, “I’ve been thinking about what you said on Monday. I really appreciated you trusting me enough to tell me about the times of despair you’ve experienced. You alluded to a deep hope which lifted you from your discouragement. As I’ve told you before, I’m not a religious person, but I respect your opinion and would love to hear more. The situation with Clarissa has me pretty down.”

I had no idea I’d be tested about being bold with my faith so quickly. I told him I’d love to tell him what happened and the reason for my hope. We agreed to have lunch on Monday.

When Kevin walked out of my office, Mike came in. I wondered if he’d been outside listening. I heard, “Keep your peace.” 

Mike said nothing about my being with Kevin. He seemed to be only interested in work. We’d gotten a new client, so work had gotten dangerously backlogged. He was getting pressure from the top to get caught up or risk breaking contracted deliverables with our customers. He told me he expected us to be caught up by Monday morning. When he said “us” I grumbled in my spirit about what part of “us” he was doing. 

When Mike left, I could feel my stomach begin to twist.

During the next couple of hours, I was able to get a handle on how much work had to be done. It was massive. I could see myself missing my Friday date night with Jill and Alice’s surprise party on Saturday. I’d invited Fred and his wife to church with us, seems I’d miss that too. 

I heard a knock. It was Kevin. I glanced at my watch and was astonished it was already time for break. I’d always told Kevin it was important to take breaks, but this time I wanted to renege. 

In the canteen, I explained my conversation with Mike to Kevin. He already knew some of it. “Mike came to me on Wednesday and tried to hand off a ton of work to me. I think they hoped I’d be able to pick right up and handle it,” Kevin began. “I got started but have questions and needed your help. So, I reported that back to Mike. In the meantime, I’ve been playing around with a Visual Basic script we could possibly use to scrape the data from the mainframe and then kick off our processes. I’ve had some success, but need some procedural direction.”

After hearing Mike’s interaction with Kevin, I felt more like I was being used. I certainly didn’t feel like anyone in management really cared. Were they allowing me to work just to solve the present crisis? I felt insecure.

For the rest of the day I feed Kevin information to further fine tune his script. By days end, we had it working on a small sample. However, when we tried it on a batch of larger data, we kept getting region abends. Even after we maxed out the value, there was no success. I was getting a sinking feeling.

When I noticed it was approaching 6pm, and said, “Let me call Jill and cancel our date.”

Kevin stopped me. He had some ideas he wanted to try. He couldn’t get over the fact that we still dated after over forty years of marriage and he didn’t want us to miss it. We agree to reconvene in the morning.

When I pulled into our driveway to pick Jill up, I heard. “Cast your cares on Me.” They were fine words, but my heart couldn’t receive them.

Jill and I had a nice Italian dinner at one of our favorite spots. Then we walked across the dam at sunset, one of our favorite things to do. I tried to stay present, but she could tell I was preoccupied. I resisted the temptation to check on how Kevin was doing, but my lack of truly being “with” Jill hurt her. This resurfaced some unresolved bitterness toward me.

Then, her disappointment in me stirred up a deep failure place in my soul and I became defensive. Not a good posture for a loving date.

To top it off, I got a late text from Kevin saying he was going home with little success. He suspected a memory leak, but he needed some time away to ponder a solution.

Without Kevin’s script, I could work the next 48 hours and come well short of what Mike and his directors were expecting. 

Jill and I went to bed back to back and unresolved. The knots in my stomach were only growing tighter as I tried to sleep.

To Be Continued

[1] II Corinthians 11:23-33

Please Check out the  Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 

Robby Buck

Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in a old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains

 

What is Good?

Packages (Part 4)

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Part 1 

Part 2

Part 3

Like the previous morning, the bright blue expanse of water appeared in the distance, yet this time it seemed nearer. The dawn’s warmth and splendor persisted in an unnatural way as I tried to shepherd my heart.

I was emotionally perplexed. A few years back, I’d learned that suppressing difficult emotions and proceeding as if nothing had occurred—akin to the adage “just rub some dirt on it and keep playing”—was not beneficial. This stoic posture had done nothing for me but deaden my emotions and stifle my tears when I really needed to grieve, such as after the death of my parents. 

This morning the problem was trying to sort through all I was feeling.  I felt accused by Harrison, betrayed by Mike, and grieved about Fred’s cancer diagnosis. Additionally, I was worried about the upcoming meeting with Mike and its potential impact on my job, especially since our savings was not substantial.

As had been the case each morning, as I rested on the packages, I reflected on a section of Scripture. This morning it was Psalm 42. The psalmist wrote that his soul was in despair and disturbed within, or, in another translation, sad and discouraged.  [1]

This captured my emotions: sadness and discouragement.

After a bit of time, I heard, “I’m here.” 

Instinctively, I yelled, “Why? Why Fred? How can his cancer be considered good in any way?” I guess I was also angry.

A silence followed, then a question, “What do you mean by good?”

Caught off guard, I had no answer. 

I had arranged to have lunch with Jill around noon but had some time to spare until then. So, I decided to give Sammy a call.

“Hello,” Sammy answered. 

“Sammy, It’s Bobby. How’s your car running. Any more leaks?”

“Mr. Bobby. I was going to call you today.”

“Please, just call me Bobby.”

“I’ll try, but it’s a hard habit to break. The car’s running smoothly. In fact, Milly made some fried chicken, collards, and macaroni and cheese for you and your wife in appreciation for all your help.”

“She didn’t have to do that,” I replied. “Just being with you helped me more than you know, but certainly I won’t turn down a meal from her. You told me what a great cook she is. Do you want me to come by and get it?”

“Smart man,” Sammy chuckled. “It won’t be ready until around noon. Would you and your wife like to join us for a meal then?”

“That would be great,” I responded. “Jill doesn’t get off for lunch until then. Would it be alright if I came over now, and she could join us at your place later?”

Sammy was thrilled at the idea. I called Jill and gave her the address and she agreed to meet me there.

The prospect of seeing Sammy again brought joy to my heart. En route, I noticed a package beside me addressed to Sammy, Milly and Alton. I wasn’t sure who Alton was, but I heard, “Allow them to serve you and learn from them.” Strange delivery instructions indeed. 

Sammy and Milly resided on a quaint family farm located on the town’s west side, a short drive from Jill’s office. The property boasted a single-story house, a barn, and a pond. As I pulled up, Sammy was waiting by his truck. The sincere smile that spread across his face when he saw me comforted my weary soul.

The smell of country cooking wafting from the house as Sammy showed me around. He nimbly maneuvered on his artificial leg, as he showed me chickens, pigs, goats, a nice sized vegetable garden, and a small grove of peach trees.

“Are the chickens just for eggs?” I asked.

“No, we eat them too,” he smiled, nodding toward the house.

Wandering the farm with Sammy, my thoughts were flooded with childhood memories. Growing up near my grandfather on his small farm, I was whisked back to simpler times, before life’s hardships had dimmed the light of youthful joy.

Jill drove up just as Milly popped her head out of the front door and called us in for lunch.

The meal was exceptional: the chicken was perfectly crunchy, the macaroni delightfully cheesy, and the collards were richly savory. Our feast included buttery cornbread, lemony sweet tea, and homemade peach cobbler for dessert, crafted from their own harvest.

The joy they both exhibited was remarkable, despite facing persecution and discrimination due to their skin color. Being with them filled our hearts with gladness. I wished we could have stayed longer, but knew we had to leave soon.

Standing up, I asked, “Sammy mentioned your large family the other day, does anyone else live with you?”

“Yes,” Milly responded. “Our grandson Alton stays with us. His mother passed away at his birth.”

“We almost lost him too,” Sammy chimed in. “Would you like to meet him?”

“Yes, I would,” I replied.  

“Come on,” Sammy motioned for us to follow him. 

In a room at the end of the hall, a middle-aged man was seated in a rocking chair, gazing through the window at the weeping willow tree beside the pond. Under it, a pig and a goat appeared to be playing chase.

“Hey bud,” Sammy said.  “I want you to meet some new friends of ours.”

Alton turned to us and smiled. During our brief time with him, we saw a man whose entire life was enveloped in love and joy, embodying the essence of childlike faith.

Later, Sammy conveyed that the umbilical cord had restricted oxygen to his brain at birth. He was unable to communicate verbally. However, it was undeniable how deeply he loved his grandparents; and us.

“Alton is a constant source of joy,” Sammy told me as I got in my car. Brushing away a tear, he said, “He embodies love and grace. People often pity us because they think Alton is a burden. It’s been a tough journey. We think about his mother daily. Yet, we believe our loving Father entrusted Alton to us for our good. Our time with Alton has strengthened our faith in Jesus Christ in ways we never thought possible. What we can’t do, God can.

I almost shouted, “Amen!”  Probably should have.

I was strangely peaceful, as I drove to meet Mike. What Sammy said about life with Alton being “good,” brought me back to what He’d asked me that morning. “What do you mean by good?”

I now had at least a partial answer. 

Entering Mike’s office, I noticed a document at the corner of his desk that read, “Probation”.

 And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. 29 For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren (Romans 8:28-29 NASB)

To Be Continued

[1] Psalm 42:5 (NASB, NLT)

Please Check out the  Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 

Robby Buck

Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in a old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains

 

Addiction to Pleasing People

Pleasing Pop (Republished In the Moments)

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My first year of Little League was a bust. I couldn’t connect with even an eleven-year-old fastball. Though our team won the championship, I felt like a worthless hindrance. By obligation, Coach Goodnight would send me to the plate, once every game or so, to take my three swings and sit down.

I felt like giving up, but I loved baseball. During the offseason, I spent a lot of time working on my eye hand coordination and improving my bat speed.

When I showed up for tryouts the following year, I imagine Coach Goodnight couldn’t have been thrilled to see me. But, to my delight, my training paid off. I could connect on pitches, even from a twelve-year-old. And, since I was a decent fielder, I was assigned the role of starting second baseman.

One Saturday morning, as we warmed up for one of our home games, I saw that Pop, my paternal grandfather, had joined my mother in the stands. This delighted me and I especially wanted to play well for him.

There were runners on first and second base when I came to bat for my first plate appearance. I can still picture the details in my mind, over fifty years later. I swung hard at the first pitch. It was a bit outside, so being a righthanded batter, the ball lined between the first and second basemen, heading for the fence. As I rounded first base, I decided to keep running past second and head for third. I slid in ahead of the tag for a triple, driving in two runs.

It wasn’t a Mickey Mantle home run, but I couldn’t have been more excited. When the dust cleared and I stood on third base, I looked up into the crowd and singled out Pop.  He had a huge grin on his face, wildly clapping. He was proud of me.

People Pleasing

As I think back on that moment and others like it, I see how important it is for us to please those we care about. As children, parental acceptance and love is important, but we can easily equate our performance with our value. After all, we learn from an early age how our achievements bring us favor. Passing marks in school mean we get promoted to the next grade. Doing well during tryouts earns us a part in the play. Obeying our parents keeps us from being punished.

It’s easy to conclude that what we do determines how much we’re loved. But this is in direct contradiction to the  good news of Jesus Christ. Paul said some very stern things to the Galatians about their tendencies to follow a “gospel” of works righteousness, especially for the purpose of people pleasing.

As we have said before, even now I say again: if anyone is preaching to you a gospel contrary to what you received, he is to be accursed!

 For am I now seeking the favor of people, or of God? Or am I striving to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ (Galatians 1:9-10 NASB).

Focused

We’re to live Godly lives but not to earn affection. Only God’s approval is necessary. Our right standing with God is based on what Christ has done, not on anything we could ever accomplish. [1]

Jesus modeled a life of setting aside His own will and living only to please his Father [2]. This focus freed Him from being bound by the actions and opinions of men. Resting in His Father’s love, Jesus freely and lovingly washed Judas and Peter’s feet, men who would betray and deny Him. [3]

Jesus was fully aware of God’s great love for Him, so He didn’t need to depend on the opinions of men. And neither do we.

But Jesus, on His part, was not entrusting Himself to them, because He knew all people, and because He did not need anyone to testify about mankind, for He Himself knew what was in mankind (John 2:24-25 NASB).

As Christians, we’ve been adopted into God’s family as His children [4]. Were hidden in Christ Jesus [5], united with Him.  In Christ, we please God already.

and those who are in the flesh cannot please God.  However, you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you (Romans 8:8-9a NASB).

As believers, we’re left with a huge paradigm shift. We must leave behind our dependence upon others for approval. We live now only to please our Father God. And, as we rest in Christ, His life in us is what pleases God.

We get to set aside all worries of what people think of us and live every moment for our Audience of One.

Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord and not for people,  knowing that it is from the Lord that you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve (Colossians 3:23-24 NASB).

Prayer

Lord, as I picture Pop smiling and cheering me on that day so many years ago, I remember that You delight in me even more than he did. [6] Help me to rest in Your love and acceptance, no matter how folks treat me. I trust in You alone. I release my addiction to worrying about what people think of me.

I know I can’t successfully focus on You without You. Help me never to depend upon any human for my well-being. May I continually trust in You alone.

Please keep me focused on You throughout each day.  When I stray from living only for You, please remind me quickly.

Amen.

One thing I have asked from the Lord, that I shall seek:
That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the Lord
And to]meditate in His temple (Psalm 27:4 NASB)

[1] II Corinthians 5:21, Ephesians 2:4-7

[2] John 5:30

[3] John 13

[4] Ephesians 1:3-10

[5] Colossians 3:3

[6] Zephaniah 3:17

Other Posts in our Rhythms of Joy Series:

Joy is Important Because it’s an Experience of God

The Amazing Connection Between Grace and Joy

Moving from Discouraged to Encouraged

Coming to Terms with Hard Things

What About Me?

Please Check out the  Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 Novels by the Author:

Rob Buck

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in a old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains

 

Free from Me

What About Me? (Published in Rhythms of Joy)

2 Comments

At the turn of the century, our family went on a short term missions trip to Mexico. During some of our down time, we decided to visit the local market. As we entered, we were amazed at the wide variety of colorful local fare, from flowers, to fruits and vegetables, to intricate crafts. 

Immediately, vendors called their products to our attention for purchase. One of us, I can’t remember who, told them we wanted to look around and that we’d come back.

We spent a good bit of time enjoying the massive amount of tables, reaching deeper and deeper into the space, to the point we almost lost our way back to the front. Most of us bought at least one thing.

Suddenly, it dawned upon us how late it was, so we made our way to the front. As we exited, one of the vendors we first encountered yelled in English, “What about me?”

I felt bad and I’m not even sure we responded, but the question, “What about me?” has become a family catch phrase when one of us wants to insert ourselves.

As I continue to walk this journey with Jesus, the more I realize I’m asking the same question in my heart. What about me? Until recently, I didn’t recognize what a consuming quest this really is.

I know I’m not alone in this inward battle. Our Christian lives are a continual challenge, to live in the realities of Galatians 2:20, the great summary of God’s good news. “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.”

Living a life of “I have been crucified” is not easy.

 I see what happened to two of Jesus’ disciples in Mark 9:35-37,  “James and John, the two sons of Zebedee, *came up to Jesus, saying to Him, ‘Teacher, we want You to do for us whatever we ask of You.’ And He said to them, ‘What do you want Me to do for you?’ They said to Him, ‘Grant that we may sit, one on Your right and one on Your left, in Your glory.’”

They were asking, What about me?

What about me? seems to be built into the fabric of our hearts.

What I want to say is what John the Baptist said, “He must increase, but I must decrease.” (John 3:30 NASB)

What about me? is such a restricting, narrowing view. It limits the world and chokes my joy.

It’s You Lord! changes the game from introspection on my little kingdom, into full hope upon the glorious kingdom of God, waiting to explode into eternal ecstasy. [1]  

What about me? requires control and strain to produce circumstances which I hope will maintain my happiness. It puts me where God should be and steals any moments of abiding in His gladness.

It’s You Lord! releases care and trusts in a loving God, who is at work in a greater story of making me more like Jesus. [2]

What about me? longs for the love and approval of others. It produces competitiveness, envy and continual effort to be liked and admired by others.

It’s You Lord! produces gratitude and praise, which keeps me peaceful under the yolk of Jesus’ gentle and humble heart. [3]

I desire this change in my heart, the transformation of John the Baptist, more than anything I can think of. But, I know this kind of work is not a self study class. If I’m to move from What about me? to It’s You Lord! it requires the Lord, not me.

Lord, show me in Your word and empower me by Your Spirit to be less about me and more about You.

He Must Increase, but I Must Decrease.

During our family vacation last year, I was walking on the beach talking with my bride about some deep spiritual matters. This was a convergence of three of our very favorite things to do together: be at the beach, walk, and talk about spiritual things. 

As we walked, she said, “We all have swiss cheese hearts.”

This was a striking image as I pictured it and I’ve thought about it a lot since then. Certainly, God has created our hearts with a void only He can fill.  

Examining my own heart, I’ve identified five major holes which I’ve historically tried to fill myself. I know, with Solomon, that trying to fill my eternal holes with anything of this world is vanity of vanities. [4] Yet, I scream What about me? as I try and plug these holes myself. 

Perhaps others can relate.

The Need to Be Admired

In my heart, I see a deep longing to be admired. When people, especially those important to me, make me feel disliked or even hated,  What about me? screams out. The “desired to be admired hole” aches with a painful feeling of being unloved.

It’s You Lord!  points me to the amazing love God has for me, as revealed in His word and in His actions. Though there are many scriptures about God’s incomprehensible love for us, [5] I’ll focus on what Jesus told His disciples the night before He died, “Just as the Father has loved Me, I also have loved you; remain in My love.” (John 15:9)

The eternal love of God is the only thing which can fill my hole to be admired. Expecting this kind of love from others is toxic. It not only binds me to the approval of men, but produces a self-serving love for others, which is not sincere.

Ugh. This is really bad  When What about me? comes to mind about not being admired, I determine to saturated my heart to overflowing with God’s perfect love.

 It’s You Lord!

Lord, You love me with a love I’ll never fully grasp, which fills my heart to overflowing. Please remind me of this when people are mean to me and act hateful.

Resting completely in God’s love

Accepted

In my heart, I see a need to be accepted. When people, especially those important to me, make me feel rejected,  What about me? screams out. The “desired to be accepted hole” aches with a painful feeling of being excluded.

It’s You Lord! points me to what God did for all of His children before the world began:  Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him. In love He predestined us to adoption as sons and daughters through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, with which He favored us in the Beloved. (Ephesians 1:3-6 NASB)

God chose me, to be His child before I was even born. The passage goes on to say that in His love for me, I’ve been lavished with grace, redeemed with His love, and given His Holy Spirit as an installment of my inheritance.

I’ve had some really important people in my life reject me. And the pain does not go away. But it’s a pain of loss, not a loss of value.

No person can define my value, no matter how important. Before I breathed a breath, God called me His own. No person can change that by rejecting me.

It’s You Lord!  

Lord, You’ve accepted me by Your blood. This is what matters. Please help me remember this.

 

Accomplished

In my heart, I see a insatiable need to accomplish things. This drive seems to always be running in the background, to the point that sometimes I have to force myself to relax.

I fight a fear of failure. What about me?  yells that nothing I do is good enough. And there’s the problem in the open. What “I” do.

It’s You Lord! points me to II Corinthians 5:21:  He made Him who knew no sin to be sin in our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

Me trying to accomplish some righteousness of my own is the very essence of stupidity. Not only is it impossible, (all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God) [5], but it’s an affront to what Christ has done for me. I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness comes through the Law, then Christ died needlessly. (Galatians 2:21 NASB)

Will I fail? Most definitely; every day. But am I a failure? By now means. 

But as for me, I stand on the righteousness of Christ. 

It’s You Lord!

You have given me Your righteousness. You have made me complete, fully accomplished in You. Please help me remember this when  I feel like a failure.

True Value

Affirmed

In my heart, I see a need to be affirmed, to be recognized, to have my achievements pointed out.  What about me? wants my glory to shine.

My, my, my. Me, me me. As I write it’s more than ludicrous. Yet, the temptation rises.

When I think about what Jesus did for me, I realize He wants me to consider myself dead when it comes to my glory. Paul actually wrote this in Colossians 3:3-4: For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory.

It’s You Lord! helps me realize I’m hidden in Christ. That’s affirmation enough. It’s His life which is to be celebrated, His glory. Why would a dead man need to be recognized and given credit anyway?

Christ is my life. No need to be individually affirmed. One day, I’ll be revealed with Him in glory. His glory, not mine.

Lord, please help me remember this when I feel the need to be recognized and given credit for anything. No need to strive to be affirmed. I rest in You.

Christ our Life

Appeased

In my heart, I recognize the deep need to be satisfied, for my longings to be appeased. As mentioned before, God put longing in every human heart. [6]

Blaise Pascal wrote, “There is a God shaped vacuum in the heart of each man which cannot be satisfied by any created thing, but only by God the creator made known by Jesus Christ.”

What about me? believes I must plug these holes myself. But I can’t.  I’ve tried being admired by people, accomplishing many tasks, being pliable to be accepted, and  competing to be affirmed.

I’m realizing that the sum of these searches for lasting joy only leave my wanting all the more.

I hear with Abram, “Do not be afraid, Abram.  I am your shield, your very great reward.” (Genesis 15:1 NIV)

I now agree with Asaph, “But as for me, the nearness of God is my good;” (Psalm 73:28a NASB).

And with David, “You have put gladness in my heart, More than when their grain and new wine abound.” (Psalm 4:7 NASB)

It’s You Lord! is the answer to every hole in my swiss cheese heart.

Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; he who comes to Me will not hunger, and he who believes in Me will never thirst.” (John 6:35 NASB)

These are some holes in my heart which begin with ‘A’. Lord, show me the whole alphabet. (8^>  

Joy, An Experience of God

Unmasking the Lie

Prayer

Lord, I depend upon me so often; even now, after decades of being Your disciple. But You are teaching me to rest in Your yoke. It’s not up to me anymore. It never was.

It’s Your glory, Lord, never mine. When a thought comes to highlight me, please remind me quickly that it’s You.

Lead me, I pray, to quickly disagree with the lies and agree with the truth that I’m complete in You, filled to the brim and overflowing with You in all areas.

In You, I’m always admired, always accepted, fully accomplished, affirmed in Your glory, and fully satisfied by You, my Bread of life. Your rivers of waters completely saturate my thirst. 

You want me free, really free.

Please continue to show me ways I choose me and not You, my will and not Yours.

I must decrease and You must increase.

I love You Lord.

Amen.

Not my Will

Journal Time

With your journal in hand, write down any What about me? areas in your own life. It could be one or more identified above or different ones.

When is it most often manifested?

Write down ways you think your self focus hampers your life.

What difference would it make if God was your focus and not you?

Write a prayer expressing your desires to make a change and be less self focused and more God focused, recognizing the need for the Holy Spirit to enable you. 

If you’re willing, ask Him to continue to reveal self focused ways in you. He will.

Come back to this journal entry often.

[1] Romans 8:18-23

[2] Romans 8:28-29

[3] Matthew 11:28-30

[4] Ecclesiastes 2:11-22

[5] Romans 3:23

[6] Ecclesiastes 3:11

Other Posts in our Rhythms of Joy Series:

Joy is Important Because it’s an Experience of God

The Amazing Connection Between Grace and Joy

Moving from Discouraged to Encouraged

Coming to Terms with Hard Things

Please Check out the  Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 Novels by the Author:

Rob Buck

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in a old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains

 

God's Eternal Purposes, God's Greater Story

If God is With us, Why are These Things Happening? (Republished In the Moments)

2 Comments

It’s a fair question.

Why do difficult things happen to us even, in the midst of God’s presence?

Many an unbeliever has considered themselves on firm ground with this question. And they like to stoke up others into agreement.  It’s a perplexing dilemma which gives pause to even the most faithful follower of Jesus.

John the Baptist, sitting in a dungy cell, went from pointing out Jesus as the Lamb of God, to wondering if another should be expected.

Now when John, while imprisoned, heard of the works of Christ, he sent word by his disciples and said to Him, “Are You the Expected One, or shall we look for someone else?” (Matthew 11:2-3 NASB).

Jesus responded, telling John’s disciples to report to him that blind folks were seeing, the lame were walking, lepers were being cleansed, the dead were being raised, and the good news of the gospel was being preached to the poor. [1]

Then He said, “And blessed is he who does not take offense at Me” (Matthew 11:6 NASB).

Offense. From the Greek  – to put a stumbling block or impediment in the way, to entice to sin, to cause a person to begin to distrust and desert one whom he ought to trust and obey, to cause to fall away.

Jesus goes on to praise John and to say, Truly I say to you, among those born of women there has not arisen anyone greater than John the Baptist! Yet the one who is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he (Matthew 11:11 NASB).

Jesus calls John the greatest among those born of women, yet He realized offense can be taken when circumstances don’t turn out as expected.

Others have had similar confusion.

After the angel of the Lord said to Gideon, “The Lord is with you, O valiant warrior.”  [2] He asked, “O my lord, if the Lord is with us, why then has all this happened to us?” (Judges 6:13b NASB)

Since God is good and powerful, it seems natural to expect His presence to produce pleasant times. Like John and Gideon we can become disillusioned by how difficult our lives become, especially when we believe the Lord has the power to work things out.

In the midst of our hard times, how do we keep from stumbling and keep on trusting? How do keep on obeying and not become discouraged?

Jesus’ early disciples, who lived lives which were anything but smooth, had to learn to look at life from a higher perspective in order to begin to understand this dilemma.

And so do we.

What can keep us from taking offense when our lives get hard?

Blessed Are Those Who Don’t Take Offense.

Jesus’ message to John the Baptist about folks being blessed when they don’t take offense at Him, let’s us know it’s possible to see things in a different way.

But how?

We get some ideas by reading what a couple of Jesus’ disciples wrote after years of following Him.

Peter

The early life of Peter is widely known. Most have heard about how he denied Christ three times, even with a curse. [3] At that point in his life, though he was one of Jesus’ closest disciples, he hadn’t grasped how God can use hard times to achieve something far greater than carefree days. He was afraid that being truthful about knowing Jesus would be very dangerous to him. 

Later, scholars think between 35 to 40 years after his denial, he wrote the following verses: Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the  dead, to obtain an inheritance which is imperishable, undefiled, and will not fade away, reserved in heaven for you,  who are protected by the power of God through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which perishes though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise, glory, and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ; and though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, obtaining as the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls (I Peter 1:3-9 NASB).

Through these years, God had been at work, through Peter’s own trials, to give him a view of God’s eternal ways. 

Here’s what he learned about God’s children:.

  • We will eventually earn an imperishable inheritance
  • We are being protected by the power of Christ for a salvation yet to be revealed
  • Various trials may be required to prove our faith, and deepen our trust in God.
  • Eventually these trials will result in praise, glory and honor
  • Even in the midst of trials, there’s great reason for us to rejoice and have expressible joy

Peter’s transformation is a miracle. And God is at work in us to achieve something similar.

What we learn through trials is better than life itself.

Paul

Paul’s early years are also well known. Until Jesus radically called him, he thought he was doing God’s bidding by killing Christians. He was on the wrong team.

But, like Peter, years of walking with Christ taught him how hard times can deepen his trust and build his relationship with God.

Take a look at some of the difficulties he faced for the sake of Christ recorded in 2nd Corinthians 11:23-28:

  • labors
  • imprisonments
  • beaten times without number
  • often in danger of death
  • five times he received thirty-nine lashes
  • three times beaten with rods
  • stoned
  • three times shipwrecked
  • spent a night and a day in the deep
  • dangers from rivers and robbers
  • many sleepless nights
  •  in hunger and thirst, often without food
  • in cold and exposure     

He knew personally what Jesus meant when He wrote, “These things I have spoken to you so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33 NASB)

Like Peter, Paul learned to see things from a much larger perspective. See his personal testimony, written for us: 

“For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers and sisters, of our affliction which occurred in Asia, that we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead (II Corinthians 1:8-9 NASB).

It’s not easy to see the good when things are really hard, but Paul saw that it took utter despair for him to learn to stop trusting in himself. The situation was so dire, he could only cry out to God.  And, in the process, his faith grew.

The Greater Story 

Like John the Baptizer, Gideon, Peter and Paul, we have and will face circumstances which are beyond our abilities to endure. During these times, we need to be aware of God’s greater purpose for us.

God wants more for us than happy circumstances. When Paul tells us that God is working in all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purposes, he’s referring to something better than an easy life. God’s purposes are to give us the freedom and joy of being conformed into the image of Christ. [4] 

There are profoundly sanctifying forces at work when we cling to Jesus in the midst of our pain. In our trials, our grip on lesser loves is loosened, freeing us to fully enjoy Jesus. 

See what James wrote about the redeeming qualities of our afflictions and trials:

Consider it all joy, my brothers and sisters, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing (James 1:2-4 NASB).

Trials can bring us joy because they develop endurance which lead us to becoming complete, lacking nothing. Nothing means nothing. Trials can show us we don’t need a life of ease to be joyful.

Prayer

Lord, I’m sorry for ever assuming that being with You meant my life would be easy. 

With Aspaph, I cry, “For me, the nearness of God is my good.” (Psalm 73:28)

You and You alone are my good, the source of all my joy [5] and my very great reward. [6]

I know You love me and that You want me to enjoy the moments of my life with You. But I also know, like Paul, from first hand experience, that You’ve used some really hard things to show me that I can’t depend upon anything in this world for my “okayness.” 

Though I would have never chosen these particular trials in my life, I’m amazed at how I love you with greater ferocity because You use them to dislodge idols from my heart.

Please continue to show me anything and anyone I’ve chosen instead of You. Free me of these I pray.

I love you.

  Amen

Journal Time

With your journal in hand, write about a hard situation in your life or in the life of someone you love. You may have more than one.

Write a prayer to God honestly telling Him how you are doing, in light of what’s going on. Don’t be afraid to express anger and disappointment, if that’s what you’re feeling. God can handle it. He wants us to come to Him in honesty. The real us coming before the God of all truth.

Consider ways He might have already been at work in these trials to conform you into the image of Christ. Write these things down.

Ask Him to give you the courage of His presence as you face life’s challenges.

Write about your willingness to face God’s will, even if it’s not what you might want.

If you were around when Gideon asked, “O my lord, if the Lord is with us, why then has all this happened to us?” (Judges 6:13b NASB)

Do you have a response to his question? If so, write it out.

Come back to this journal entry often.

[1] Matthew 11:2-5

[2] Judges 6:12

[3] Matthew 26:74

[4] Romans 8:28-29 

[5] Psalm 16:11

[6] Genesis 15:1

Other Posts in our Rhythms of Joy Series:

Joy is important because it’s an experience of God

The amazing connection between grace and joy

Moving from Discouraged to Encouraged

Please Check out the  Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 Novels by the Author:

Rob Buck

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in a old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains