Tag Archives: Living only for God

(In the Moments) How to Overcome People Pleasing

My first year of Little League was a bust. I couldn’t connect with even an eleven-year-old fastball. Though our team won the championship, I felt like a worthless hindrance. By obligation, Coach Goodnight would send me to the plate, once every game or so, to take my three swings and sit down.

I felt like giving up, but I loved baseball. During the offseason, I spent a lot of time working on my eye hand coordination and improving my bat speed.

I imagine seeing me at tryouts the following year didn’t thrill Coach Goodnight. But, to my delight, my training paid off. I could connect on pitches, even from a twelve-year-old. He assigned me the starting second baseman role because I was a decent fielder.

One Saturday morning, as we warmed up for one of our home games, I saw that Pop, my paternal grandfather, had joined my mother in the stands. This delighted me and I especially wanted to play well.

Runners were on first and second when my first at-bat occurred. I can still picture the details in my mind over fifty years later. I swung hard at the first pitch. It was a outside, so being a righthanded batter, the ball lined between the first and second basemen, heading for the fence. As I rounded first base, I kept running past second and headed for third. I slid in ahead of the tag for a triple, driving in two runs.

It wasn’t a Mickey Mantle home run, but I couldn’t have been more excited. When the dust cleared and I stood on third base, I looked up into the crowd and singled out Pop.  He had a huge grin on his face, wildly clapping. He was proud of me.

People Pleasing

Remembering similar instances reveals the importance of pleasing those we cherish. As children, parental acceptance and love are important, but we can easily equate our performance with our value. After all, we learn from an early age how our achievements bring us favor. Passing marks in school mean we get promoted to the next grade. Doing well during tryouts earns us a part in the play. Obeying our parents keeps us from being punished.

It’s easy to conclude that what we do determines how much we’re loved. But this contradicts the good news of Jesus Christ. Paul rebuked the Galatians sharply concerning their works-righteous “gospel,” particularly their people-pleasing.

As we have said before, even now I say again: if anyone is preaching to you a gospel contrary to what you received, he is to be accursed!

 For am I now seeking the favor of people, or of God? Or am I striving to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ (Galatians 1:9-10 NASB).

Focused on Christ

We’re to live Godly lives but not to earn affection. Only God’s approval is necessary, and Jesus took care of that for us. Our right standing with God is based on what Christ has done, not on anything we could ever accomplish. [1]

Jesus modeled a life of setting aside His own will and living only to please His Father [2]. This focus freed Him from being bound by the actions and opinions of men. Resting in His Father’s love, Jesus didn’t need to depend on the opinions of men. And neither do we.

But Jesus, on His part, was not entrusting Himself to them, because He knew all people, and because He did not need anyone to testify about mankind, for He Himself knew what was in mankind (John 2:24-25 NASB).

Challenge

Do you, like me, sometimes struggle with equating your value with how others see you? Perhaps, like my first year of little league, you feel worthless because of your performance. A counselor once told me depending on what other’s think of you is like handing an identity box to someone else, a boss, a spouse, a friend. When we do this, we’re giving them power to assess our value.

God adopted us into His family as His children. Hidden in Christ Jesus [4], united with Him.  In Christ, we already please God.

As believers, we’re left with a fundamental change. We must leave behind our dependence upon others for approval. We live now only to please our Father God. And, as we rest in Christ, His life in us is what pleases God.

Spend some time evaluating how you see yourself. You may be believing lies from long ago that the enemy is using to keep you in bondage and steal your joy. Your value is not in what people think about you. You’re not what you accomplish or the lies you believe about yourself. The truth of the matter is that you are what God thinks about you. As believers in Jesus Christ, we rest in God’s eternal, never changing love for us. 

His perfect love casts out all fear, all of it. [5]

We get to set aside all worries of what people think of us and live every moment for our Audience of One, knowing his love and acceptance knows no bounds.

Prayer

Lord, as I picture Pop smiling and cheering me on that day so many years ago, I remember that You delight in me even more than he did. [6] Help me rest in Your love and acceptance, no matter how folks treat me. I trust in You alone. I release my addiction to worrying about what people think of me, my fear of letting folks down.

Help me never to depend upon any human for my well-being. May I continually trust in You alone.

Please keep me focused on You throughout each day. When I stray from living only for You, please remind me quickly.

Amen.

[1] II Corinthians 5:21, Ephesians 2:4-7

[2] John 5:30

[3] Ephesians 1:3-10

[4] Colossians 3:3

[5] I John 4:18

[6] Zephaniah 3:17

Other posts in our series In the Moments:

As Sea Gulls Fly

It is Finished

Behold the Moments

Tranquility

Stop Striving

Simplicity In Christ

What is Good

Yet Will I Rejoice

Sorrowful, Yet Always Rejoicing

Exploring Grace and Joy together

Stay Present My Friends

Quiddity. It Could Change Your Life

The Cake Maker’s Blunder

God at Work (No Trespassing)

Hidden with Christ in God

Finding Joy in Love and Relationships

Escaping the Rat Race

When I don’t Feel God’s Loving Kindness

Experiencing Completeness in Christ

Overcoming Pain Through Faith

Recalibrating Our Hearts

The Joy of Waiting

On the Fifth Day God Created Dog

When Things get Really Hard

A No Lose Situation, Even with Cancer

Hey Pop

Mustering Our Faith

Lord, You’ve Got to this. I Can’t

Better Than Life

Lord, if You are with us, why are all these things happening?

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 

Robby Buck

Nonfiction books by the Author:

Because joy is rooted in God and is eternal, it doesn’t ebb and flow with the waves of circumstances. In fact, as we grow in our understanding of joy, we can even experience it more acutely when life is hard. Why? Because God uses trials to conform us into the image of Christ. With this awareness, which gives us glimpses of God’s greater purposes, we rejoice because of His masterful work to free us from needing anything but Him.

For these reasons, and many others, joy in the Lord is commanded in scripture. It’s not just a good idea, it’s vital to our journey as human beings. Rhythms of Joy

Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in an old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains

Please Check out the  Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

 

In the Shadow of Emmanuel

Have you ever had a situation which completely changed the trajectory of your life? One day your minding your own business and bam, everything changes. It could be a phone call, a text or an unexpected visitor. These events can rock us and cause us to wonder how we’ll get through.

What you’re about to read is just such a situation. Though it’s about a particular man, this story is also about us in our hard, unexpected situations. The God sized problem this man faced sent him reeling. He was  worried and fearful and he let God know it.

But God had a gift for this man which allowed him to proceed, step by step, with strength and courage. And God has the same gift for us today. 

During the Christmas season, we acknowledge God’s story of redemption in the gift of His son Jesus, the promised Messiah. Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us (Matthew 1:23 NKJV).

Isaiah foretold the event 700 years before. Therefore, the Lord Himself will give you a sign: Behold, the virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and she will name Him Immanuel (Isaiah 7:14 NASB). 

The birth of Jesus is one of the climaxes in God’s story of redemption. He was willing to allow the death of His own Son to reconcile our relationship with Him and save us from eternal separation.

Being with the Lord is our point. He is our source of true courage and overflowing joy. 

In the shadow of Emmanuel, before Jesus was born, this man, experienced God’s “with-ness”.  His name was Moses. While he was tending his father-in-law’s sheep in the wilderness near Mount Horeb [1], he turned aside at the sight of a brush fire. From within the burning bush, which was not being consumed, God called to him.

“Here I am,” Moses replied. [2]

The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob commanded Moses to remove his sandals in the presence of His holiness. Then God told Moses He was aware of the sufferings of His people. [3] He always is.

 He charged Moses, “Therefore come now, and I will send you to Pharaoh, so that you may bring My people, the sons of Israel, out of Egypt.” (Exodus 3:10 NASB).

Moses would have shook in his sandals if he’d had them on. “Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh, and that I should bring the sons of Israel out of Egypt?”  (Exodus 3:11b NASB)

Moses felt far from adequate to accomplish what God was expecting of him. He thought God had chosen the wrong guy. Perhaps you can relate. But God makes no mistakes.

God didn’t back down, but gave Moses the most powerful gift possible. “I will certainly be with you. And this shall be a sign to you that I have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you shall serve God on this mountain.” (Exodus 3:12b NKJV).

He is God Almighty, the Great I Am. [4] Whatever is needed, Eternal God always is that, for Moses and for us. He Himself is our peace, courage, hope and joy in any situation. The gift of God’s presence was meant to give Moses all the above and more. But Moses was still afraid and offered a flood of excuses. Perhaps you can relate.

God has a greater story going on in each of our lives. He wants more for us than just happy, comfortable circumstances. He’s conforming us into the image of His Son Jesus Christ. 

I’ve been guilty of reading the familiar Romans 8:28 without understanding the good God is working for each of us. I didn’t notice how the next verse defines His purpose.  And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. 29 For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren (Romans 8:28-29 NASB).

We’ve been predestined to become like Jesus. And part of the process of us becoming more like Jesus is learning to stop relying on ourselves and to trust more and more in God alone. This happens when, by the trials of life, we come face to face with our weaknesses and inabilities. 

See what Paul wrote about his own experience with this very thing.  For we do not want you to be unaware, brethren, of our affliction which came to us in Asia, that we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life; indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead (II Corinthians 1:8-9 NASB).

For Moses, going to Pharaoh and leading 600,000 men, excluding women and children out of Egypt was way beyond his abilities. And this is the point.

Though our journeys are hard, God is at work to free us from “needing” anything but God.

This is why James could write the following, very bizarre verses about the connection between joy and trials. Until I experiencing the process first hand, what he wrote made no sense at all. Consider it all joy, my brothers and sisters, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.  And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing (James 1:2-4 NASB).

As we grow in our intimacy with the Triune God, He teaches us the sweetness of living our lives in singular devotion.

One thing I have asked from the Lord, that I shall seek:
That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the Lord
And to meditate in His temple (Psalm 24:7 NASB).

Like Moses, we also live in the shadow of Emmanuel; not in the times before His birth, but in the times before His return.

Like Moses, God speaks to us now, but not from a burning bush. The Holy Spirit of God indwells us. For us, The Great I AM is closer than breathe.

Prayer

Dear Lord,

Thank You for the truth that, right now, You are certainly with me. You see me and all I’m facing. You’ve entrusted all these situations to me. They are no surprise to You. 

 I’m sorry for longing for a carefree life more than deeper intimacy with You.

I trust You and embrace Your workings in my life. I surrender all the people in my life Your care. Please, remind me often to pray. I believe You’re at work, even when I don’t see it.

I love you Lord. 

Amen.

Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer person is decaying, yet our inner person is being renewed day by day. For our momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal (II Corinthians 4:16-18 NASB).

In my opinion whatever we may have to go through now is less than nothing compared with the magnificent future God has planned for us (Romans 8:18a J.B. Phillips)

[1] Exodus 3:1-3, Mount Horeb is referred to as the Mountain of God. Most agree that Mount Horeb and Mount Sinai, where Moses would later receive the ten commandments, are the same place.

[2] Exodus 3:4

[3] Exodus 3:6-7

[4] Exodus 3:14

Other Posts in our Rhythms of Joy Series:

Joy is Important Because it’s an Experience of God

The Amazing Connection Between Grace and Joy

Moving from Discouraged to Encouraged

Coming to Terms with Hard Things

What About Me?

Pleasing Pop

Please Check out the  Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 Novels by the Author:

Rob Buck

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in a old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains

 

Pleasing Pop (Republished In the Moments)

My first year of Little League was a bust. I couldn’t connect with even an eleven-year-old fastball. Though our team won the championship, I felt like a worthless hindrance. By obligation, Coach Goodnight would send me to the plate, once every game or so, to take my three swings and sit down.

I felt like giving up, but I loved baseball. During the offseason, I spent a lot of time working on my eye hand coordination and improving my bat speed.

When I showed up for tryouts the following year, I imagine Coach Goodnight couldn’t have been thrilled to see me. But, to my delight, my training paid off. I could connect on pitches, even from a twelve-year-old. And, since I was a decent fielder, I was assigned the role of starting second baseman.

One Saturday morning, as we warmed up for one of our home games, I saw that Pop, my paternal grandfather, had joined my mother in the stands. This delighted me and I especially wanted to play well for him.

There were runners on first and second base when I came to bat for my first plate appearance. I can still picture the details in my mind, over fifty years later. I swung hard at the first pitch. It was a bit outside, so being a righthanded batter, the ball lined between the first and second basemen, heading for the fence. As I rounded first base, I decided to keep running past second and head for third. I slid in ahead of the tag for a triple, driving in two runs.

It wasn’t a Mickey Mantle home run, but I couldn’t have been more excited. When the dust cleared and I stood on third base, I looked up into the crowd and singled out Pop.  He had a huge grin on his face, wildly clapping. He was proud of me.

People Pleasing

As I think back on that moment and others like it, I see how important it is for us to please those we care about. As children, parental acceptance and love is important, but we can easily equate our performance with our value. After all, we learn from an early age how our achievements bring us favor. Passing marks in school mean we get promoted to the next grade. Doing well during tryouts earns us a part in the play. Obeying our parents keeps us from being punished.

It’s easy to conclude that what we do determines how much we’re loved. But this is in direct contradiction to the  good news of Jesus Christ. Paul said some very stern things to the Galatians about their tendencies to follow a “gospel” of works righteousness, especially for the purpose of people pleasing.

As we have said before, even now I say again: if anyone is preaching to you a gospel contrary to what you received, he is to be accursed!

 For am I now seeking the favor of people, or of God? Or am I striving to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ (Galatians 1:9-10 NASB).

Focused

We’re to live Godly lives but not to earn affection. Only God’s approval is necessary. Our right standing with God is based on what Christ has done, not on anything we could ever accomplish. [1]

Jesus modeled a life of setting aside His own will and living only to please his Father [2]. This focus freed Him from being bound by the actions and opinions of men. Resting in His Father’s love, Jesus freely and lovingly washed Judas and Peter’s feet, men who would betray and deny Him. [3]

Jesus was fully aware of God’s great love for Him, so He didn’t need to depend on the opinions of men. And neither do we.

But Jesus, on His part, was not entrusting Himself to them, because He knew all people, and because He did not need anyone to testify about mankind, for He Himself knew what was in mankind (John 2:24-25 NASB).

As Christians, we’ve been adopted into God’s family as His children [4]. Were hidden in Christ Jesus [5], united with Him.  In Christ, we please God already.

and those who are in the flesh cannot please God.  However, you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you (Romans 8:8-9a NASB).

As believers, we’re left with a huge paradigm shift. We must leave behind our dependence upon others for approval. We live now only to please our Father God. And, as we rest in Christ, His life in us is what pleases God.

We get to set aside all worries of what people think of us and live every moment for our Audience of One.

Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord and not for people,  knowing that it is from the Lord that you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve (Colossians 3:23-24 NASB).

Prayer

Lord, as I picture Pop smiling and cheering me on that day so many years ago, I remember that You delight in me even more than he did. [6] Help me to rest in Your love and acceptance, no matter how folks treat me. I trust in You alone. I release my addiction to worrying about what people think of me.

I know I can’t successfully focus on You without You. Help me never to depend upon any human for my well-being. May I continually trust in You alone.

Please keep me focused on You throughout each day.  When I stray from living only for You, please remind me quickly.

Amen.

One thing I have asked from the Lord, that I shall seek:
That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the Lord
And to]meditate in His temple (Psalm 27:4 NASB)

[1] II Corinthians 5:21, Ephesians 2:4-7

[2] John 5:30

[3] John 13

[4] Ephesians 1:3-10

[5] Colossians 3:3

[6] Zephaniah 3:17

Other Posts in our Rhythms of Joy Series:

Joy is Important Because it’s an Experience of God

The Amazing Connection Between Grace and Joy

Moving from Discouraged to Encouraged

Coming to Terms with Hard Things

What About Me?

Please Check out the  Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 Novels by the Author:

Rob Buck

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in a old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains