Tag Archives: courageous

Packages (Epilogue, Walking it Out)

Part 1 

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

The Dream Ends

Since I didn’t have to be at work until later that day, Alfred and I continued discussing the dream until 9:30. He found it encouraging too. Through our conversation, we established some daily routines:

  • As much as possible, begin each day with unhurried time with God
  • Talk with Him about who we know we’ll be encountering that day and ask Him to allow us, through His Sprit, to love each person, planned or not, with the same quality of love He loves us
  • Be prayerfully intentional about loving and leading our families, especially our wives
  • Be deliberate about being present during the moments of the day
  • Don’t look past people in order to return to duties
  • Continually cast each responsibility and care upon the Lord and trust Him to weed out what’s unnecessary
  • Orient our lives from the fact that we’ve been raised with Christ and are, even now, seated in heavenly places with Him
  • Find our joy and satisfaction in the Lord, not our circumstances and accomplishments
  • See each moment from an eternal perspective, being bold to explain our hope in Christ and to announce the Lord’s great mercy towards us

A Hundred Days Later

As much as I wanted it, the dream on the packages never returned, but the impression it made has grown stronger.

Alfred and I agreed to meet weekly to support each other in our daily routines. We weren’t perfect, but we managed to have unhurried times of solitude with Father God at least five times during most weeks.

We began our times along with God by praising Him, acknowledging His presence, and listening for His guidance. Although we didn’t follow the same Bible reading plan, due to different programs in our churches, we always shared at least one impactful truth from God’s word to uplift each other during our weekly breakfasts.

Aware of whom we might encounter each day, we established a rhythm of morning prayers and spontaneous prayers throughout the day. We sought to remain in Jesus’ love, relying on the Holy Spirit to help us love others with the same depth of love He has for us.

Additionally, we encouraged one another to create margin in our lives for unforeseen chances to show God’s lovingkindness.

We extended grace to each other when we fell short and ended each time in prayer.

Alfred excelled in the practice of being present throughout the day. He endeavored to employ all his senses while performing his duties as an administrative assistant at a large law firm. Whenever someone entered his office space, be it in person or electronically via phone, text, or email, he sought divine guidance on how to fully engage and serve each “customer”. He admitted that initially, it was challenging, and there were times he went half a day without a thought of God. However, he persisted, and during those gaps He thanked God when He was brought again to an awareness of His presence. Then he resolved to concentrate on maintaining his focus on Jesus as often as he could going forward,

I was more irregular in my practice of abiding, but Alfred’s encouragement led me to increasingly and consciously surrender to the Holy Spirit of God within me multiple times a day.

Passing it On

One morning, Alfred couldn’t hide his huge grin as Tammy, our regular waitress, poured our coffee. Tammy must be the finest server in the South. Alfred and I alternate paying for our weekly breakfasts, always leaving her generous tips. As a single mother and now a grandmother, she’s familiar with our routine and usual breakfast bowls, to the extent that, by 6:30 every Wednesday morning, our table was waiting for us and our condiments already laid out.

“Tammy,” Alfred said, as she finished pouring my coffee. “Set us up for four next week.”

“Okay,” she said with a smile. “The usual?”

We both nodded. Occasionally one of us will be enticed to go with chicken fried steak, eggs, grits or hashbrowns and grilled biscuits. But that usually happened when the other was paying.

When Tammy had gone, I asked Alfred what was up with the table for four.

“Apprenticeship,” Alfred began, “What if you wanted to become a bricklayer? And you knew of a master who had been a successful bricklayer for years and years. What would you do first to learn how to follow his path?”

I thought for moment and then replied. “First, I’d want to be with him as much as possible during the workday to watch him, learning to become like him in his brick laying methods.”

“Great answer,” Alfred replied, his grin getting even larger. “Then what?”

“Eventually, I’d begin laying brick on my own doing what he did.” 

“Exactly!” Alfred said, as Tammy brought our bowls and refilled our coffee. “And that’s the answer to your question.”

“What question?” I asked as I poured white pepper gravy on my bowl and passed the deliciousness to Alfred.

“Your question of why I asked Tammy to set four places next week,” Alfred answered. “You and I have been intentional about being with Jesus alone and meeting together to talk about our experiences. By the power of the Holy Spirit, we’ve sought to be like Jesus, praying for each other along the way.

“We’ve sought to follow Him as His disciples.  I believe the next step in our apprenticeship is to do what He’s taught us to do to others. [2]

“I have a young man I work with who recently decided to believe in Christ’s finished work for his salvation. And I’d like to ask him to join us, if you’re okay with that.”

“Sure,” I answered. “But what about me? Who could I ask?”

“How about your son?”

[1] John 15: 9-12

[2] The concept of apprenticeship is from the book Practicing the Way by John Mark Comer, Copyright 2024 by WaterBrook Publishing.

 

Joy in the Journey is about the

gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 

Robby Buck

Nonfiction books by the Author:

Because joy is rooted in God and is eternal, it doesn’t ebb and flow with the waves of circumstances. In fact, as we grow in our understanding of joy, we can even experience it more acutely when life is hard. Why? Because God uses trials to conform us into the image of Christ. With this awareness, which gives us glimpses of God’s greater purposes, we rejoice because of His masterful work to free us from needing anything but Him.
For these reasons, and many others, joy in the Lord is commanded in scripture. It’s not just a good idea, it’s vital to our journey as human beings. Rhythms of Joy

Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in a old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains

Please Check out the  Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

 

Packages (The Dream Ends)

Part 1 

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Then I awoke, not on the packages, but in my own bedroom. Beside me, my wife, whose name isn’t Jill, was still sleeping. I’d experienced a lucid dream spanning a week, yet in reality, it was only a few hours.

It was predawn. I dressed, brewed a cup of Cuban coffee and proceeded to the porch, my favorite place to watch the sun rise.

I took out my journal and detailed the events and individuals from the seven days encompassed by the dream. The scenarios and characters were fictitious. However, some elements were familiar.

I don’t have a neighbor named Alice. Nevertheless, I’ve engaged in discussions with colleagues, in my field of IT, about Jesus and Him not being religious. 

I don’t have a friend named Fred suffering from pancreatic cancer, but I do have several close friends who are facing serious illnesses.

I don’t have friends named Sammy and Milly with a son named Alton, but I wish I did.

I don’t have a co-worker named Kevin facing personal challenges and showing interest in my faith. However, I do work closely with someone I pray will stop believing God and science can’t co-exist.

I don’t have colleagues like Harrison and Mike who desire to inflict as much pain on me as possible, but I have a person, who is closer than a co-worker, who seems to have that agenda.

As the sun started to tint the grey sky with soft pastels, I jotted down the themes that came to me while I rested on the packages. 

During the seven days of dreams, as I listened to His voice, I learned:

  • To love others as Christ loves me
  • To converse with God, who is ever-present, and to listen as I go
  • That He will guide me in loving each person He places in my path
  • To fully “see” people around me and not quickly move past people to the next obligation
  • To yield to His kindness as I love
  • That my life is brimming with the abundant grace of God
  • That I am appointed as an ambassador of Christ to convey His grace
  • To always be prepared to discuss the Hope of Christ within me
  • That difficulties, such as Fred’s cancer, are not surprises to God
  • To recall God’s love for me during tough times
  • Not to gauge my happiness by my circumstances
  • That individuals like Alton, with special needs, bring extraordinary joy
  • When I seek comfort from God, He endows me with joy and courage
  • That I possess no righteousness of my own, only the righteousness of Christ

By then the sun was in full view and I knew exactly what I needed to do. I called my spiritual mentor, Alfred. He agreed to meet me for breakfast.

After ordering our usual bowls of grits, poached eggs, crumbled bacon, and biscuits, I shared the dream with him. Confident in his wisdom, I believed he could provide some meaningful insights.

I also shared with him the notes I’d written earlier that morning.

He was patient as I recounted my story, asking a few clarifying questions.  Afterwards, I asked him for his overall thoughts and possible interpretation. 

Alfred paused a moment, then said, “Your times on the packages seem like a picture of our position in the heavenlies with Christ. The timeless dawn, vivid colors, and what I’m calling an ocean of love, give me a sense of what heaven must be like. I had goose bumps as I listened.

“Reminds me of verses like Colossians 3:1-4, and Ephesians 2:4-7 where it speaks of believers being raised with Christ and seated with Him in heavenly places. Your dream gave me a glimpse of being with Christ in heaven, yet still living on earth.

“This is a real gift, Bobby. You’ve been given an eternal peek into our heavenly position, an almost “real life” perspective of what Paul meant when he commanded us to set our minds on things above, not on temporal things. [1]

“What do you think the packages represent?” he asked.

“At first, I thought it was up to me to deliver them all, I responded. “That speaks to how full of duties my life feels. I can be so busy that people, and opportunities to love, can seemed like obstacles to taming the task list. But now I’m realizing much of my to-do list is from me and not God.  

“Those packages are not tasks, they’re bundles of God’s love: His kindness, His peace, His joy, His presence to be given as presents to others.

“Though I’m very saddened at how I’ve been, I can hear you tell me that God’s mercies are new every morning.” 

Alfred nodded.

My eyes began to sting as I continued, “Alfred, I’ve waisted so much of my life striving to fill a bottomless chasm in my heart that screams – ‘I’m not enough.’

“Though in my head, I’ve known it’s about Christ’s righteousness, my heart hasn’t caught up yet. It believed it was up to me to earn His love, to succeed, to please.

“Until now,” I said, a spark of joy rising in my heart. “Because of the gift of a dream, my whole world has been turned upside down. 

“Alfred, you’ve patiently loved me and guided me all these years. You know how distracted I’ve been.”

Alfred smiled and nodded.

“This dream has turned my to-do list on its head. My duties are no longer the main thing. My goal now is to love. 

“I feel so much more present. I want to truly see the Sammys God brings my way and not just pass them by to check off another task on my never-ending task list.

“No! Completing my tasks without problems is no longer my main goal. Delivering God’s daily packages of love is what I want to be about. 

“I’ll trust Him to get done what needs to get done. The tasks are now simply the paths God uses to bring me to the folks He wants me to love.”

Alfred laughed with joy. I knew at that moment it’s what he’d been praying for me all these years.

Stay Tuned for The Epilogue, Walking it Out. 

[1] Colossians 3:1-4

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 

Robby Buck

Nonfiction books by the Author:

Because joy is rooted in God and is eternal, it doesn’t ebb and flow with the waves of circumstances. In fact, as we grow in our understanding of joy, we can even experience it more acutely when life is hard. Why? Because God uses trials to conform us into the image of Christ. With this awareness, which gives us glimpses of God’s greater purposes, we rejoice because of His masterful work to free us from needing anything but Him.
For these reasons, and many others, joy in the Lord is commanded in scripture. It’s not just a good idea, it’s vital to our journey as human beings. Rhythms of Joy

Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in a old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains

Please Check out the  Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

 

Packages (Part 7)

Part 1 

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

The next morning on the packages the events of the previous day swirled in my soul.  I checked with Kevin after Alice’s party, and he predicted the batches would be completed by early evening.

Alice’s party was hard for me. I’m not a good chit-chatter with folks I don’t know very well. I did have a good conversation with one of Alice’s grandson’s Jeff, who’s studying Computer Science at the University of South Carolina.

His eye’s widened when I told him about carrying around punch cards for writing COBOL programs back in the late 70s. Things have changed so much Jeff wasn’t even sure what COBOL was.

“It stands for Common Business Oriented Language,” I explained. “It was developed by Admiral Grace Hopper. COBOL emerged 1959.  and it’s still used a lot today in banking, insurance, and other large data industries.”

As I shared my enthusiasm about computing history with Jeff, I could see his eyes beginning to glaze over. I shifted the conversation and asked some questions about him.

Then he surprised me, “Granny says you’re a religious person, is that right?”

Simultaneously, I heard. “Be very real.”

“Actually, I’m not, Jeff.”

I could tell my answer took him back. I was ready to say more, but heard, “Wait. Give him space to process and respond.”

After a moment, he said, “But I thought you went to church a lot.”

“I do, but that doesn’t make me religious,” I replied. “Growing up, I saw religious people as judgmental, fun zapping and stuffy, so I avoided them.”

“I don’t understand,” Jeff replied. “How can you go to church and avoid religious people?”

I went on to explain that religion is following rules, Christianity is following a Person, Jesus Christ. I told him there are two ways to get to heaven; be perfect or be carried in by Someone who is. 

He seemed very interested and asked a lot of questions, especially about what Christ’s crucifixion really meant.

I gave him some passages to read and showed him how to get the Bible app on his phone. He was amazed when I told him how Jesus was not a religious person either.

“In fact,” I said. “Take a look at Matthew 23:1-12. You’ll see how angry Jesus was at the religious leaders of his time. They were all about rule following, not God following.”

It was a nice conversation, but I had a restless night thinking about all that was going on.

As I continued to think about the day before, I heard Him say, Rest. Bobby, you are worried and bothered by many things,”

Recognizing that these were the words, Jesus said to Martha in Luke 10:38-42, I responded, “But only one thing is needed.”

In the story of the two sisters, I’d always identified with the busy older sister, named Martha. But I’d longed to be like Mary, who sat at Jesus’ feet listening to His words.

Mary cared more about Jesus than accomplishments.

I wanted to be like Mary, but I was much more like Martha.

“You can be like Mary, but you must trust Me deeply,” He responded to my thoughts.

How?

“To be like Mary, thoughts of yourself must end; thoughts of doing, thoughts of pleasing, thoughts of measuring up must be replaced by trust; trust in what My Son did on the cross. He did it all for you. He brought you back from annihilation. He freed you. He completed you. He is worth all your attention.

When you do, He’ll take care of everything else.”

He said no more that morning. 

Later, Sammy and Milly joined us for church. The sermon was on Psalm 27, particularly verse 4.

Again, I would hear about “one thing.”

One thing I have asked from the Lord, that I shall seek:
That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the Lord
And to meditate in His temple.

“How’d you like the sermon,” Jill asked Sammy and Milly, as we enjoyed our lunch at Lizard’s Thicket after church.

“I liked the focus on worship,” Sammy replied.

“Yes,” Milly chimed in. “Could life really be as simple as the one thing of worshipping God? What about all the things we have to do? We can’t just forget about them.”

“I’ve thought the same thing,” Jill added. “I was reading about this verse in a book about worshiping. The author mentioned that David’s one thing of desiring God above everything else was the mainspring for everything else in his life, his commanding, his ruling, his writing, everything.” [1]

“Wow, that makes a lot of sense,” said Sammy. “That softens the conflict in my head. Like the story of Mary and Martha and how Jesus told Martha that one thing is needed.” 

I couldn’t believe what was happening. The very thing I heard on the packages that morning, was playing out before my eyes in a deep conversation. I was about to mention the packages for the first time to anyone, when my phone vibrated.

Glancing at my watch, I saw it was Kevin.

“Excuse me,” I said. “I need to take this.”

As I stepped outside and answered the phone, I heard, “Rest.”

“You okay,” I asked.

“Not at all,” Kevin exclaimed tersely. “I knew you were at church and wanted to be sure our process was still going. On my way in, I passed Mike driving away. I don’t think he saw me.

“When I got upstairs, the server was off. When I rebooted, I was able to restart the remaining batches. But the abrupt termination of the one which was running has corrupted a large block of data. And it was for the new client.”

I tried to console Kevin, but he came unglued. He was going to resigned on the spot, but I told to hold on until I got there

To Be Continued

[1] How to worship Jesus Christ  by Joseph S. Carrol, pages 22-26

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 

Robby Buck

Nonfiction books by the Author:

Because joy is rooted in God and is eternal, it doesn’t ebb and flow with the waves of circumstances. In fact, as we grow in our understanding of joy, we can even experience it more acutely when life is hard. Why? Because God uses trials to conform us into the image of Christ. With this awareness, which gives us glimpses of God’s greater purposes, we rejoice because of His masterful work to free us from needing anything but Him.
For these reasons, and many others, joy in the Lord is commanded in scripture. It’s not just a good idea, it’s vital to our journey as human beings. Rhythms of Joy

Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in a old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains

Please Check out the  Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

 

Packages (Part 6)

Dear reader, Packages is an allegory. There will be roughly a dozen parts before Bobby wakes up from a very long, lifelike dream. He'll then seek an interpretation.  

Part 1 

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

I found myself on the packages again on Saturday, with no body of water in sight. I sat deep in a valley, surrounded by towering piles of boxes. The rising sun remained hidden from view; its presence only hinted at by the pastel hues of dawn. The location matched my mood.

The sobering events of the previous day made me cringe as they seeped into my groggy consciousness. As troubling as the work situation was, I was more concerned about not being reconciled with Jill. Over the years, we’d learned to navigate through difficulties, particularly when one could sense the other’s reaction stemmed from unresolved past hurts. Together, with faith in God, we’d learned to reveal and dismantle the longstanding falsehoods that had troubled our lives. It was rare for us to sleep without settling our differences and kissing. The previous night was particularly challenging because we both reacted from deep-seated pain and failed to extend grace before the day’s end. I knew it was my responsibility to lead in that regard, but I hadn’t.

I recalled His words that the packages were brimming with kindness, grace, and love—qualities I desperately needed to embrace the day ahead. Accepting His grace proved particularly challenging. Especially in light of how I’d failed to lead Jill and, with my growing unforgiveness and bitterness with Mike.

Even so, I was certain nothing could separate me from God’s love, not even my own shame.

I contemplated the Hebrew word “Hesed,” which translates to lovingkindness.

And Psalm 23 verse 6: Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life, And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

I recalled that this word embodies a divine love which transcends human understanding; like how God pursues us, in spite of our disobedience. Like how Hosea pursued Gomer, his harlot wife. [1]

Immersed in a deep awareness of His lovingkindness, my heart grew tender. I longed to embrace Jill and admit my mistake. We never do well when we’re not right with each other. 

“There’s something else in these boxes,” He said, again catching me off guard. “You’re absorbing more than just kindness, grace and love.”

“Read II Corinthians 5:21.”

I picked up the Bible resting on the box in front of me and read, He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

“Can you guess what else you’ve been soaking in?” He asked.

“The righteousness of Christ Jesus?”

“Very good. Can that righteousness be diminished by anything you do or don’t do?” 

I paused a moment before answering. A new understanding was budding in my heart. “No. Since You chose me, by Your mercy, to be Your son before I was even born, nothing I do or don’t do can affect it. Right?”

 “That’s right,” He said. “My children know this, but our enemy is relentless in seeking to hide My grace and love. His efforts are multiplied as his end draws near. Bobby, sometimes you still soak in his lies and not My truth”

“What did Paul say about righteousness in Ephesians 6?”

“He told us to put on the breastplate of righteousness, as we gird our loins with truth and take up the shield of faith.” I felt faith rising and continued. “This allows us to extinguish all the flaming missiles of the evil one. All of them!”

“Never drop your shield of faith. Believe you have My righteousness. No matter what happens, stay the course.”

Having rekindled my faith, He left me to my reflections. The shame I felt now appeared absurd. I knew my life was meant to be rooted in His righteousness, not my own. I realized that whenever I lost focus on this truth, I was on shacky ground and very vulnerable.

Unbeknownst to me, I was no longer in a valley; the mound of packages I rested on had ascended beyond the horizon. I was now in full view of a crystal blue sea, which reflected the magnificence of the eternal dawn.

Jill and I were able to have a cup of coffee together before I went to the office. I apologized for acting out of my fear of failure and need to succeed. I also told her I was sorry for not initiating forgiveness the night before. 

“I forgive you on both counts,” she said, as we hugged. “I’m not sure I was ready to be resolved last night anyway. I was stewing in my own feelings of rejection. But I recognized this morning that these lies are ancient. I’m sorry too. God has used you to help me see the lies from the past I still tend to live in.”

“I’m glad,” I said. “Us honoring our covenant of marriage before God has been what’s held us together and allowed our love to grow. We’ve had some very hard stretches.”

She agreed.

As I entered the office, I heard, “Ask Me.”

I found Kevin at his desk, his head in his hands, same shirt on from the day before. “The batches of data are two large,” he said in a defeated tone when he noticed me. “I tried dividing them into smaller datasets, but they lose the associated header, footer and provider tags. I’m out of ideas.”

I’d never seen Kevin in such a state. His perseverance and determination were remarkable, but he was clearly at the end of his rope.

Remembering His message, I asked Him for guidance. Then I ran through different possibilities in my mind.

“I have an idea,” I said after a few minutes. “I think I can use Easytrieve, a mainframe programming tool, to generate smaller datasets while preserving the tags. This would mean we’d be handling smaller batches during the data transfer and the script processing.”

Kevin thought it was a good idea and assisted me in mapping the fields. In forty-five minutes, we’d successfully written a quick program and validated the theory with a batch of data which had previously abended. 

“Eureka!” Kevin exclaimed. We did a computer nerd version of a high five.

 We kicked off a batch of scripts, which we hoped would process all the data by early Sunday afternoon. He showed me how to check for problems in his script and how to monitor the progress remotely.

I sent him home to rest and made sure the first few batches were successful.

When I got home, Jill was wrapping Alice’s surprise birthday gift.

The plan was for us to distract Alice in the backyard while friends and family streamed into her house to surprise her. 

“I can hide her present in the bottom of my purse,” Jill exclaimed. 

“I knew that giant bag would come in handy for something,” I joked, earning me a playful elbow to the ribs.

I was so excited about our gift to Alice. Knowing his days on earth were winding down, her husband, Ray, had asked me to video a message to his family. Jill and I downloaded it to an electronic picture frame, which was our present to Alice and their kids. 

Right before we knocked on the back door, my phone vibrated with a text. Jill heard it too and looked at me with disappointment.

“Is it work?” she exclaimed bitterly.

The extensive time and mental energy I devoted to work-related activities over the years had become a longstanding source of pain and feelings of neglect for Jill. I endeavored to understand my wife better, continually learning more about her. I was beginning to realize that some of her reactions stemmed from deep-seated pain, some of which originated in her childhood and was triggered by something I did, said, or failed to do. While I acknowledge that I have also caused her pain, I was learning not to take it personally all the time. This approach helped me to remain non-defensive, at least some of the time. Which is hard for a guy like me who thrives to succeed and please people.

“No, it’s Sammy,” I replied, also happy it wasn’t work related. “He’s asking if he and his family can join us at our church tomorrow.”

“Wow! That would be great,” Jill exclaimed. “Alton as well?”

“I’m not sure,” I replied, as I knocked on Alice’s back door. I heard, “Be bold.

To Be Continued

[1] The book of Hosea

Please Check out the  Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 

Robby Buck

Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in a old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains

 

Packages (Part 5)

Dear reader, Some of you have asked where this Packages series is going. It's an allegory. There will be resolution and interpretation.  

Part 1 

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

As I found myself resting on the packages the next morning, I wondered again if I was experiencing a long dream. If so, I hoped it would end soon. I had so many questions.

How did my time resting on these packages each morning seem to fuel my interaction with people that day.? How could cardboard boxes cause me to be filled with a quality of love which seemed out of this world? It had to be Him and not the packages.

Though I saw packages addressed to each person, I never remembered physically handing them to anyone. Was delivery really about the interaction and not the actual packages?

I did get my job back, but with conditions. I was put on probation and warned not to “push” my faith on anyone. I wasn’t sure what that meant, but I didn’t trust Mike enough to ask him. 

I determined to still offer to pray with folks as the opportunity arose. And if asked, I would explain the reason for my hope to anyone. Resting on the packages, I felt certain of this. I hoped I’d stand firm when opportunities for boldness arose.  

I didn’t want to regret not allowing the light of Jesus to shine through me.

Then He spoke. This time, my anger at Fred’s cancer was not within me. Being with Sammy and Alton had given me a new perspective.

Reading my thoughts, He said, “You are learning my son. Like Sammy, like Fred, God sized problems are meant to prove you can’t. And when you see that, you learn that I can.

“What did Paul write in II Corinthians 1:8-9?”

I picked up the Bible resting on the box in front of me and read, “For we do not want you to be unaware, brethren, of our affliction which came to us in Asia, that we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life; indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead;”

“What was Paul going through?” He asked.

“So many difficulties that he despaired of his life. I guess he’d come to the end of his strength.”

“Exactly, you’ve read in other places what he endured.  [1] So you have an idea of what it might have been. What was his conclusion?” 

“He realized since the situation was beyond his abilities to endure, trusting in himself was no longer an option. He had to learn to trust in You.”

“That’s right,” He said. “Can you relate?”

I could. Several situations came to mind, including our difficulties with our oldest child. I remember thinking once, when that and other problems seemed to multiple, that if I knew where to go to give up, I would. I wasn’t suicidal, but like Paul, I’d come to the end of me.

Again, reading my thoughts, He said, “You made a wise choice back then. You could have wasted the pain by trying to numb it, but you brought it all to Me.” 

It was Friday.  The end of a very weird week. I was hoping Mike had assigned someone to handle my duties. Otherwise, it was going to be a long weekend. I imagined Kevin would have been given some of my tasks, but he had his own work to do.

Kevin looked up from his cubicle when I arrived and followed me into my office. 

I heard, “Be courageous.”

After discussing the current work load, Kevin said, “I’ve been thinking about what you said on Monday. I really appreciated you trusting me enough to tell me about the times of despair you’ve experienced. You alluded to a deep hope which lifted you from your discouragement. As I’ve told you before, I’m not a religious person, but I respect your opinion and would love to hear more. The situation with Clarissa has me pretty down.”

I had no idea I’d be tested about being bold with my faith so quickly. I told him I’d love to tell him what happened and the reason for my hope. We agreed to have lunch on Monday.

When Kevin walked out of my office, Mike came in. I wondered if he’d been outside listening. I heard, “Keep your peace.” 

Mike said nothing about my being with Kevin. He seemed to be only interested in work. We’d gotten a new client, so work had gotten dangerously backlogged. He was getting pressure from the top to get caught up or risk breaking contracted deliverables with our customers. He told me he expected us to be caught up by Monday morning. When he said “us” I grumbled in my spirit about what part of “us” he was doing. 

When Mike left, I could feel my stomach begin to twist.

During the next couple of hours, I was able to get a handle on how much work had to be done. It was massive. I could see myself missing my Friday date night with Jill and Alice’s surprise party on Saturday. I’d invited Fred and his wife to church with us, seems I’d miss that too. 

I heard a knock. It was Kevin. I glanced at my watch and was astonished it was already time for break. I’d always told Kevin it was important to take breaks, but this time I wanted to renege. 

In the canteen, I explained my conversation with Mike to Kevin. He already knew some of it. “Mike came to me on Wednesday and tried to hand off a ton of work to me. I think they hoped I’d be able to pick right up and handle it,” Kevin began. “I got started but have questions and needed your help. So, I reported that back to Mike. In the meantime, I’ve been playing around with a Visual Basic script we could possibly use to scrape the data from the mainframe and then kick off our processes. I’ve had some success, but need some procedural direction.”

After hearing Mike’s interaction with Kevin, I felt more like I was being used. I certainly didn’t feel like anyone in management really cared. Were they allowing me to work just to solve the present crisis? I felt insecure.

For the rest of the day I feed Kevin information to further fine tune his script. By days end, we had it working on a small sample. However, when we tried it on a batch of larger data, we kept getting region abends. Even after we maxed out the value, there was no success. I was getting a sinking feeling.

When I noticed it was approaching 6pm, and said, “Let me call Jill and cancel our date.”

Kevin stopped me. He had some ideas he wanted to try. He couldn’t get over the fact that we still dated after over forty years of marriage and he didn’t want us to miss it. We agree to reconvene in the morning.

When I pulled into our driveway to pick Jill up, I heard. “Cast your cares on Me.” They were fine words, but my heart couldn’t receive them.

Jill and I had a nice Italian dinner at one of our favorite spots. Then we walked across the dam at sunset, one of our favorite things to do. I tried to stay present, but she could tell I was preoccupied. I resisted the temptation to check on how Kevin was doing, but my lack of truly being “with” Jill hurt her. This resurfaced some unresolved bitterness toward me.

Then, her disappointment in me stirred up a deep failure place in my soul and I became defensive. Not a good posture for a loving date.

To top it off, I got a late text from Kevin saying he was going home with little success. He suspected a memory leak, but he needed some time away to ponder a solution.

Without Kevin’s script, I could work the next 48 hours and come well short of what Mike and his directors were expecting. 

Jill and I went to bed back to back and unresolved. The knots in my stomach were only growing tighter as I tried to sleep.

To Be Continued

[1] II Corinthians 11:23-33

Please Check out the  Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 

Robby Buck

Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in a old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains

 

In the Shadow of Emmanuel

Have you ever had a situation which completely changed the trajectory of your life? One day your minding your own business and bam, everything changes. It could be a phone call, a text or an unexpected visitor. These events can rock us and cause us to wonder how we’ll get through.

What you’re about to read is just such a situation. Though it’s about a particular man, this story is also about us in our hard, unexpected situations. The God sized problem this man faced sent him reeling. He was  worried and fearful and he let God know it.

But God had a gift for this man which allowed him to proceed, step by step, with strength and courage. And God has the same gift for us today. 

During the Christmas season, we acknowledge God’s story of redemption in the gift of His son Jesus, the promised Messiah. Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us (Matthew 1:23 NKJV).

Isaiah foretold the event 700 years before. Therefore, the Lord Himself will give you a sign: Behold, the virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and she will name Him Immanuel (Isaiah 7:14 NASB). 

The birth of Jesus is one of the climaxes in God’s story of redemption. He was willing to allow the death of His own Son to reconcile our relationship with Him and save us from eternal separation.

Being with the Lord is our point. He is our source of true courage and overflowing joy. 

In the shadow of Emmanuel, before Jesus was born, this man, experienced God’s “with-ness”.  His name was Moses. While he was tending his father-in-law’s sheep in the wilderness near Mount Horeb [1], he turned aside at the sight of a brush fire. From within the burning bush, which was not being consumed, God called to him.

“Here I am,” Moses replied. [2]

The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob commanded Moses to remove his sandals in the presence of His holiness. Then God told Moses He was aware of the sufferings of His people. [3] He always is.

 He charged Moses, “Therefore come now, and I will send you to Pharaoh, so that you may bring My people, the sons of Israel, out of Egypt.” (Exodus 3:10 NASB).

Moses would have shook in his sandals if he’d had them on. “Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh, and that I should bring the sons of Israel out of Egypt?”  (Exodus 3:11b NASB)

Moses felt far from adequate to accomplish what God was expecting of him. He thought God had chosen the wrong guy. Perhaps you can relate. But God makes no mistakes.

God didn’t back down, but gave Moses the most powerful gift possible. “I will certainly be with you. And this shall be a sign to you that I have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you shall serve God on this mountain.” (Exodus 3:12b NKJV).

He is God Almighty, the Great I Am. [4] Whatever is needed, Eternal God always is that, for Moses and for us. He Himself is our peace, courage, hope and joy in any situation. The gift of God’s presence was meant to give Moses all the above and more. But Moses was still afraid and offered a flood of excuses. Perhaps you can relate.

God has a greater story going on in each of our lives. He wants more for us than just happy, comfortable circumstances. He’s conforming us into the image of His Son Jesus Christ. 

I’ve been guilty of reading the familiar Romans 8:28 without understanding the good God is working for each of us. I didn’t notice how the next verse defines His purpose.  And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. 29 For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren (Romans 8:28-29 NASB).

We’ve been predestined to become like Jesus. And part of the process of us becoming more like Jesus is learning to stop relying on ourselves and to trust more and more in God alone. This happens when, by the trials of life, we come face to face with our weaknesses and inabilities. 

See what Paul wrote about his own experience with this very thing.  For we do not want you to be unaware, brethren, of our affliction which came to us in Asia, that we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life; indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead (II Corinthians 1:8-9 NASB).

For Moses, going to Pharaoh and leading 600,000 men, excluding women and children out of Egypt was way beyond his abilities. And this is the point.

Though our journeys are hard, God is at work to free us from “needing” anything but God.

This is why James could write the following, very bizarre verses about the connection between joy and trials. Until I experiencing the process first hand, what he wrote made no sense at all. Consider it all joy, my brothers and sisters, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.  And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing (James 1:2-4 NASB).

As we grow in our intimacy with the Triune God, He teaches us the sweetness of living our lives in singular devotion.

One thing I have asked from the Lord, that I shall seek:
That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the Lord
And to meditate in His temple (Psalm 24:7 NASB).

Like Moses, we also live in the shadow of Emmanuel; not in the times before His birth, but in the times before His return.

Like Moses, God speaks to us now, but not from a burning bush. The Holy Spirit of God indwells us. For us, The Great I AM is closer than breathe.

Prayer

Dear Lord,

Thank You for the truth that, right now, You are certainly with me. You see me and all I’m facing. You’ve entrusted all these situations to me. They are no surprise to You. 

 I’m sorry for longing for a carefree life more than deeper intimacy with You.

I trust You and embrace Your workings in my life. I surrender all the people in my life Your care. Please, remind me often to pray. I believe You’re at work, even when I don’t see it.

I love you Lord. 

Amen.

Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer person is decaying, yet our inner person is being renewed day by day. For our momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal (II Corinthians 4:16-18 NASB).

In my opinion whatever we may have to go through now is less than nothing compared with the magnificent future God has planned for us (Romans 8:18a J.B. Phillips)

[1] Exodus 3:1-3, Mount Horeb is referred to as the Mountain of God. Most agree that Mount Horeb and Mount Sinai, where Moses would later receive the ten commandments, are the same place.

[2] Exodus 3:4

[3] Exodus 3:6-7

[4] Exodus 3:14

Other Posts in our Rhythms of Joy Series:

Joy is Important Because it’s an Experience of God

The Amazing Connection Between Grace and Joy

Moving from Discouraged to Encouraged

Coming to Terms with Hard Things

What About Me?

Pleasing Pop

Please Check out the  Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 Novels by the Author:

Rob Buck

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in a old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains

 

Pleasing Pop

My first year of Little League was a bust. I couldn’t connect with even an eleven-year-old fastball. Though our team won the championship, I felt like a worthless hindrance. By obligation, Coach Goodnight would send me to the plate, once every game or so, to take my three swings and sit down.

I felt like giving up, but I loved baseball. During the offseason, I spent a lot of time working on my eye hand coordination and improving my bat speed.

When I showed up for tryouts the following year, I imagine Coach Goodnight couldn’t have been thrilled to see me. But, to my delight, my training paid off. I could connect on pitches, even from a twelve-year-old. And, since I was a decent fielder, I was assigned the role of starting second baseman.

One Saturday morning, as we warmed up for one of our home games, I saw that Pop, my paternal grandfather, had joined my mother in the stands. This delighted me and I especially wanted to play well for him.

There were runners on first and second base when I came to bat for my first plate appearance. I can still picture the details in my mind, over fifty years later. I swung hard at the first pitch. It was a bit outside, so being a righthanded batter, the ball lined between the first and second basemen, heading for the fence. As I rounded first base, I decided to keep running past second and head for third. I slid in ahead of the tag for a triple, driving in two runs.

It wasn’t a Mickey Mantle home run, but I couldn’t have been more excited. When the dust cleared and I stood on third base, I looked up into the crowd and singled out Pop.  He had a huge grin on his face, wildly clapping. He was proud of me.

People Pleasing

As I think back on that moment and others like it, I see how important it is for us to please those we care about. As children, parental acceptance and love is important, but we can easily equate our performance with our value. After all, we learn from an early age how our achievements bring us favor. Passing marks in school mean we get promoted to the next grade. Doing well during tryouts earns us a part in the play. Obeying our parents keeps us from being punished.

It’s easy to conclude that what we do determines how much we’re loved. But this is in direct contradiction to the  good news of Jesus Christ. Paul said some very stern things to the Galatians about their tendencies to follow a “gospel” of works righteousness, especially for the purpose of people pleasing.

As we have said before, even now I say again: if anyone is preaching to you a gospel contrary to what you received, he is to be accursed!

 For am I now seeking the favor of people, or of God? Or am I striving to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ (Galatians 1:9-10 NASB).

Focused

We’re to live Godly lives but not to earn affection. Only God’s approval is necessary. Our right standing with God is based on what Christ has done, not on anything we could ever accomplish. [1]

Jesus modeled a life of setting aside His own will and living only to please his Father [2]. This focus freed Him from being bound by the actions and opinions of men. Resting in His Father’s love, Jesus freely and lovingly washed Judas and Peter’s feet, men who would betray and deny Him. [3]

Jesus was fully aware of God’s great love for Him, so He didn’t need to depend on the opinions of men. And neither do we.

But Jesus, on His part, was not entrusting Himself to them, because He knew all people, and because He did not need anyone to testify about mankind, for He Himself knew what was in mankind (John 2:24-25 NASB).

As Christians, we’ve been adopted into God’s family as His children [4]. Were hidden in Christ Jesus [5], united with Him.  In Christ, we please God already.

and those who are in the flesh cannot please God.  However, you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you (Romans 8:8-9a NASB).

As believers, we’re left with a huge paradigm shift. We must leave behind our dependence upon others for approval. We live now only to please our Father God. And, as we rest in Christ, His life in us is what pleases God.

We get to set aside all worries of what people think of us and live every moment for our Audience of One.

Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord and not for people,  knowing that it is from the Lord that you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve (Colossians 3:23-24 NASB).

Prayer

Lord, as I picture Pop smiling and cheering me on that day so many years ago, I remember that You delight in me even more than he did. [6] Help me to rest in Your love and acceptance, no matter how folks treat me. I trust in You alone. I release my addiction to worrying about what people think of me.

I know I can’t successfully focus on You without You. Help me never to depend upon any human for my well-being. May I continually trust in You alone.

Please keep me focused on You throughout each day.  When I stray from living only for You, please remind me quickly.

Amen.

One thing I have asked from the Lord, that I shall seek:
That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the Lord
And to]meditate in His temple (Psalm 27:4 NASB)

[1] II Corinthians 5:21, Ephesians 2:4-7

[2] John 5:30

[3] John 13

[4] Ephesians 1:3-10

[5] Colossians 3:3

[6] Zephaniah 3:17

Other Posts in our Rhythms of Joy Series:

Joy is Important Because it’s an Experience of God

The Amazing Connection Between Grace and Joy

Moving from Discouraged to Encouraged

Coming to Terms with Hard Things

What About Me?

Please Check out the  Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 Novels by the Author:

Rob Buck

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in a old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains

 

What About Me?

At the turn of the century, our family went on a short term missions trip to Mexico. During some of our down time, we decided to visit the local market. As we entered, we were amazed at the wide variety of colorful local fare, from flowers, to fruits and vegetables, to intricate crafts. 

Immediately, vendors called their products to our attention for purchase. One of us, I can’t remember who, told them we wanted to look around and that we’d come back.

We spent a good bit of time enjoying the massive amount of tables, reaching deeper and deeper into the space, to the point we almost lost our way back to the front. Most of us bought at least one thing.

Suddenly, it dawned upon us how late it was, so we made our way to the front. As we exited, one of the vendors we first encountered yelled in English, “What about me?”

I felt bad and I’m not even sure we responded, but the question, “What about me?” has become a family catch phrase when one of us wants to insert ourselves.

As I continue to walk this journey with Jesus, the more I realize I’m asking the same question in my heart. What about me? Until recently, I didn’t recognize what a consuming quest this really is.

I know I’m not alone in this inward battle. Our Christian lives are a continual challenge, to live in the realities of Galatians 2:20, the great summary of God’s good news. “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.”

Living a life of “I have been crucified” is not easy.

 I see what happened to two of Jesus’ disciples in Mark 9:35-37James and John, the two sons of Zebedee, *came up to Jesus, saying to Him, ‘Teacher, we want You to do for us whatever we ask of You.’ And He said to them, What do you want Me to do for you?’ They said to Him, ‘Grant that we may sit, one on Your right and one on Your left, in Your glory.’”

They were asking, What about me?

What about me? seems to be built into the fabric of our hearts.

What I want to say is what John the Baptist said, “He must increase, but I must decrease.” (John 3:30 NASB)

What about me? is such a restricting, narrowing view. It limits the world and chokes my joy.

It’s You Lord! changes the game from introspection on my little kingdom, into full hope upon the glorious kingdom of God, waiting to explode into eternal ecstasy. [1]  

What about me? requires control and strain to produce circumstances which I hope will maintain my happiness. It puts me where God should be and steals any moments of abiding in His gladness.

It’s You Lord! releases care and trusts in a loving God, who is at work in a greater story of making me more like Jesus. [2]

What about me? longs for the love and approval of others. It produces competitiveness, envy and continual effort to be liked and admired by others.

It’s You Lord! produces gratitude and praise, which keeps me peaceful under the yolk of Jesus’ gentle and humble heart. [3]

I desire this change in my heart, the transformation of John the Baptist, more than anything I can think of. But, I know this kind of work is not a self study class. If I’m to move from What about me? to It’s You Lord! it requires the Lord, not me.

Lord, show me in Your word and empower me by Your Spirit to be less about me and more about You.

He Must Increase, but I Must Decrease.

During our family vacation last year, I was walking on the beach talking with my bride about some deep spiritual matters. This was a convergence of three of our very favorite things to do together: be at the beach, walk, and talk about spiritual things. 

As we walked, she said, “We all have swiss cheese hearts.”

This was a striking image as I pictured it and I’ve thought about it a lot since then. Certainly, God has created our hearts with a void only He can fill.  

Examining my own heart, I’ve identified five major holes which I’ve historically tried to fill myself. I know, with Solomon, that trying to fill my eternal holes with anything of this world is vanity of vanities. [4] Yet, I scream What about me? as I try and plug these holes myself. 

Perhaps others can relate.

The Need to Be Admired

In my heart, I see a deep longing to be admired. When people, especially those important to me, make me feel disliked or even hated,  What about me? screams out. The “desired to be admired hole” aches with a painful feeling of being unloved.

It’s You Lord!  points me to the amazing love God has for me, as revealed in His word and in His actions. Though there are many scriptures about God’s incomprehensible love for us, [5] I’ll focus on what Jesus told His disciples the night before He died, “Just as the Father has loved Me, I also have loved you; remain in My love.” (John 15:9)

The eternal love of God is the only thing which can fill my hole to be admired. Expecting this kind of love from others is toxic. It not only binds me to the approval of men, but produces a self-serving love for others, which is not sincere.

Ugh. This is really bad  When What about me? comes to mind about not being admired, I determine to saturated my heart to overflowing with God’s perfect love.

 It’s You Lord!

Lord, You love me with a love I’ll never fully grasp, which fills my heart to overflowing. Please remind me of this when people are mean to me and act hateful.

Resting completely in God’s love

Accepted

In my heart, I see a need to be accepted. When people, especially those important to me, make me feel rejected,  What about me? screams out. The “desired to be accepted hole” aches with a painful feeling of being excluded.

It’s You Lord! points me to what God did for all of His children before the world began:  Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him. In love He predestined us to adoption as sons and daughters through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, with which He favored us in the Beloved. (Ephesians 1:3-6 NASB)

God chose me, to be His child before I was even born. The passage goes on to say that in His love for me, I’ve been lavished with grace, redeemed with His love, and given His Holy Spirit as an installment of my inheritance.

I’ve had some really important people in my life reject me. And the pain does not go away. But it’s a pain of loss, not a loss of value.

No person can define my value, no matter how important. Before I breathed a breath, God called me His own. No person can change that by rejecting me.

It’s You Lord!  

Lord, You’ve accepted me by Your blood. This is what matters. Please help me remember this.

 

Accomplished

In my heart, I see a insatiable need to accomplish things. This drive seems to always be running in the background, to the point that sometimes I have to force myself to relax.

I fight a fear of failure. What about me?  yells that nothing I do is good enough. And there’s the problem in the open. What “I” do.

It’s You Lord! points me to II Corinthians 5:21He made Him who knew no sin to be sin in our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

Me trying to accomplish some righteousness of my own is the very essence of stupidity. Not only is it impossible, (all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God) [5], but it’s an affront to what Christ has done for me. I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness comes through the Law, then Christ died needlessly. (Galatians 2:21 NASB)

Will I fail? Most definitely; every day. But am I a failure? By now means. 

But as for me, I stand on the righteousness of Christ. 

It’s You Lord!

You have given me Your righteousness. You have made me complete, fully accomplished in You. Please help me remember this when  I feel like a failure.

True Value

Affirmed

In my heart, I see a need to be affirmed, to be recognized, to have my achievements pointed out.  What about me? wants my glory to shine.

My, my, my. Me, me me. As I write it’s more than ludicrous. Yet, the temptation rises.

When I think about what Jesus did for me, I realize He wants me to consider myself dead when it comes to my glory. Paul actually wrote this in Colossians 3:3-4: For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory.

It’s You Lord! helps me realize I’m hidden in Christ. That’s affirmation enough. It’s His life which is to be celebrated, His glory. Why would a dead man need to be recognized and given credit anyway?

Christ is my life. No need to be individually affirmed. One day, I’ll be revealed with Him in glory. His glory, not mine.

Lord, please help me remember this when I feel the need to be recognized and given credit for anything. No need to strive to be affirmed. I rest in You.

Christ our Life

Appeased

In my heart, I recognize the deep need to be satisfied, for my longings to be appeased. As mentioned before, God put longing in every human heart. [6]

Blaise Pascal wrote, “There is a God shaped vacuum in the heart of each man which cannot be satisfied by any created thing, but only by God the creator made known by Jesus Christ.”

What about me? believes I must plug these holes myself. But I can’t.  I’ve tried being admired by people, accomplishing many tasks, being pliable to be accepted, and  competing to be affirmed.

I’m realizing that the sum of these searches for lasting joy only leave my wanting all the more.

I hear with Abram, Do not be afraid, Abram.  I am your shield, your very great reward.” (Genesis 15:1 NIV)

I now agree with Asaph, “But as for me, the nearness of God is my good;” (Psalm 73:28a NASB).

And with David, You have put gladness in my heart, More than when their grain and new wine abound.” (Psalm 4:7 NASB)

It’s You Lord! is the answer to every hole in my swiss cheese heart.

Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; he who comes to Me will not hunger, and he who believes in Me will never thirst.” (John 6:35 NASB)

These are some holes in my heart which begin with ‘A’. Lord, show me the whole alphabet. (8^>  

Joy, An Experience of God

Unmasking the Lie

Prayer

Lord, I depend upon me so often; even now, after decades of being Your disciple. But You are teaching me to rest in Your yoke. It’s not up to me anymore. It never was.

It’s Your glory, Lord, never mine. When a thought comes to highlight me, please remind me quickly that it’s You.

Lead me, I pray, to quickly disagree with the lies and agree with the truth that I’m complete in You, filled to the brim and overflowing with You in all areas.

In You, I’m always admired, always accepted, fully accomplished, affirmed in Your glory, and fully satisfied by You, my Bread of life. Your rivers of waters completely saturate my thirst. 

You want me free, really free.

Please continue to show me ways I choose me and not You, my will and not Yours.

I must decrease and You must increase.

I love You Lord.

Amen.

Journal Time

With your journal in hand, write down any What about me? areas in your own life. It could be one or more identified above or different ones.

When is it most often manifested?

Write down ways you think your self focus hampers your life.

What difference would it make if God was your focus and not you?

Write a prayer expressing your desires to make a change and be less self focused and more God focused, recognizing the need for the Holy Spirit to enable you. 

If you’re willing, ask Him to continue to reveal self focused ways in you. He will.

Come back to this journal entry often.

[1] Romans 8:18-23

[2] Romans 8:28-29

[3] Matthew 11:28-30

[4] Ecclesiastes 2:11-22

[5] Romans 3:23

[6] Ecclesiastes 3:11

Other Posts in our Rhythms of Joy Series:

Joy is Important Because it’s an Experience of God

The Amazing Connection Between Grace and Joy

Moving from Discouraged to Encouraged

Coming to Terms with Hard Things

Please Check out the  Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 Novels by the Author:

Rob Buck

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in a old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains

 

If God is With us, Why are These Things Happening?

It’s a fair question.

Why do difficult things happen to us even, in the midst of God’s presence?

Many an unbeliever has considered themselves on firm ground with this question. And they like to stoke up others into agreement.  It’s a perplexing dilemma which gives pause to even the most faithful follower of Jesus.

John the Baptist, sitting in a dungy cell, went from pointing out Jesus as the Lamb of God, to wondering if another should be expected.

Now when John, while imprisoned, heard of the works of Christ, he sent word by his disciples and said to Him, “Are You the Expected One, or shall we look for someone else?” (Matthew 11:2-3 NASB).

Jesus responded, telling John’s disciples to report to him that blind folks were seeing, the lame were walking, lepers were being cleansed, the dead were being raised, and the good news of the gospel was being preached to the poor. [1]

Then He said, “And blessed is he who does not take offense at Me” (Matthew 11:6 NASB).

Offense. From the Greek  – to put a stumbling block or impediment in the way, to entice to sin, to cause a person to begin to distrust and desert one whom he ought to trust and obey, to cause to fall away.

Jesus goes on to praise John and to say, Truly I say to you, among those born of women there has not arisen anyone greater than John the Baptist! Yet the one who is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he (Matthew 11:11 NASB).

Jesus calls John the greatest among those born of women, yet He realized offense can be taken when circumstances don’t turn out as expected.

Others have had similar confusion.

After the angel of the Lord said to Gideon, “The Lord is with you, O valiant warrior.”  [2] He asked, “O my lord, if the Lord is with us, why then has all this happened to us?” (Judges 6:13b NASB)

Since God is good and powerful, it seems natural to expect His presence to produce pleasant times. Like John and Gideon we can become disillusioned by how difficult our lives become, especially when we believe the Lord has the power to work things out.

In the midst of our hard times, how do we keep from stumbling and keep on trusting? How do keep on obeying and not become discouraged?

Jesus’ early disciples, who lived lives which were anything but smooth, had to learn to look at life from a higher perspective in order to begin to understand this dilemma.

And so do we.

What can keep us from taking offense when our lives get hard?

Blessed Are Those Who Don’t Take Offense.

Jesus’ message to John the Baptist about folks being blessed when they don’t take offense at Him, let’s us know it’s possible to see things in a different way.

But how?

We get some ideas by reading what a couple of Jesus’ disciples wrote after years of following Him.

Peter

The early life of Peter is widely known. Most have heard about how he denied Christ three times, even with a curse. [3] At that point in his life, though he was one of Jesus’ closest disciples, he hadn’t grasped how God can use hard times to achieve something far greater than carefree days. He was afraid that being truthful about knowing Jesus would be very dangerous to him. 

Later, scholars think between 35 to 40 years after his denial, he wrote the following verses: Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the  dead, to obtain an inheritance which is imperishable, undefiled, and will not fade away, reserved in heaven for you,  who are protected by the power of God through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which perishes though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise, glory, and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ; and though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, obtaining as the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls (I Peter 1:3-9 NASB).

Through these years, God had been at work, through Peter’s own trials, to give him a view of God’s eternal ways. 

Here’s what he learned about God’s children:.

  • We will eventually earn an imperishable inheritance
  • We are being protected by the power of Christ for a salvation yet to be revealed
  • Various trials may be required to prove our faith, and deepen our trust in God.
  • Eventually these trials will result in praise, glory and honor
  • Even in the midst of trials, there’s great reason for us to rejoice and have expressible joy

Peter’s transformation is a miracle. And God is at work in us to achieve something similar.

What we learn through trials is better than life itself.

Paul

Paul’s early years are also well known. Until Jesus radically called him, he thought he was doing God’s bidding by killing Christians. He was on the wrong team.

But, like Peter, years of walking with Christ taught him how hard times can deepen his trust and build his relationship with God.

Take a look at some of the difficulties he faced for the sake of Christ recorded in 2nd Corinthians 11:23-28:

  • labors
  • imprisonments
  • beaten times without number
  • often in danger of death
  • five times he received thirty-nine lashes
  • three times beaten with rods
  • stoned
  • three times shipwrecked
  • spent a night and a day in the deep
  • dangers from rivers and robbers
  • many sleepless nights
  •  in hunger and thirst, often without food
  • in cold and exposure     

He knew personally what Jesus meant when He wrote, These things I have spoken to you so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33 NASB)

Like Peter, Paul learned to see things from a much larger perspective. See his personal testimony, written for us: 

For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers and sisters, of our affliction which occurred in Asia, that we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead (II Corinthians 1:8-9 NASB).

It’s not easy to see the good when things are really hard, but Paul saw that it took utter despair for him to learn to stop trusting in himself. The situation was so dire, he could only cry out to God.  And, in the process, his faith grew.

The Greater Story 

Like John the Baptizer, Gideon, Peter and Paul, we have and will face circumstances which are beyond our abilities to endure. During these times, we need to be aware of God’s greater purpose for us.

God wants more for us than happy circumstances. When Paul tells us that God is working in all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purposes, he’s referring to something better than an easy life. God’s purposes are to give us the freedom and joy of being conformed into the image of Christ. [4] 

There are profoundly sanctifying forces at work when we cling to Jesus in the midst of our pain. In our trials, our grip on lesser loves is loosened, freeing us to fully enjoy Jesus. 

See what James wrote about the redeeming qualities of our afflictions and trials:

Consider it all joy, my brothers and sisters, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing (James 1:2-4 NASB).

Trials can bring us joy because they develop endurance which lead us to becoming complete, lacking nothing. Nothing means nothing. Trials can show us we don’t need a life of ease to be joyful.

Prayer

Lord, I’m sorry for ever assuming that being with You meant my life would be easy. 

With Aspaph, I cry, “For me, the nearness of God is my good.” (Psalm 73:28)

You and You alone are my good, the source of all my joy [5] and my very great reward. [6]

I know You love me and that You want me to enjoy the moments of my life with You. But I also know, like Paul, from first hand experience, that You’ve used some really hard things to show me that I can’t depend upon anything in this world for my “okayness.” 

Though I would have never chosen these particular trials in my life, I’m amazed at how I love you with greater ferocity because You use them to dislodge idols from my heart.

Please continue to show me anything and anyone I’ve chosen instead of You. Free me of these I pray.

I love you.

  Amen

Journal Time

With your journal in hand, write about a hard situation in your life or in the life of someone you love. You may have more than one.

Write a prayer to God honestly telling Him how you are doing, in light of what’s going on. Don’t be afraid to express anger and disappointment, if that’s what you’re feeling. God can handle it. He wants us to come to Him in honesty. The real us coming before the God of all truth.

Consider ways He might have already been at work in these trials to conform you into the image of Christ. Write these things down.

Ask Him to give you the courage of His presence as you face life’s challenges.

Write about your willingness to face God’s will, even if it’s not what you might want.

If you were around when Gideon asked, “O my lord, if the Lord is with us, why then has all this happened to us?” (Judges 6:13b NASB)

Do you have a response to his question? If so, write it out.

Come back to this journal entry often.

[1] Matthew 11:2-5

[2] Judges 6:12

[3] Matthew 26:74

[4] Romans 8:28-29 

[5] Psalm 16:11

[6] Genesis 15:1

Other Posts in our Rhythms of Joy Series:

Joy is important because it’s an experience of God

The amazing connection between grace and joy

Moving from Discouraged to Encouraged

Please Check out the  Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 Novels by the Author:

Rob Buck

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in a old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains

 

Courage For the Dis-Couraged

Zerubbabel started out well. He’d led a group of Jews returning to Jerusalem from the Babylonian captivity. His mission was to rebuild the destroyed temple. 

He had the credentials;  a descendent of King David [1] and an ancestor of Jesus Christ. [2] But there were difficulties.  Zerubbabel, along with the rest of the people, got side tracked from building God’s house while they built houses for themselves. Work on the temple slowed to a standstill for a number of years. [3] 

Part of the problem was the opposition Zerubbabel faced from the Samaritans, who wrote slanderous letters to the Persian kings and hired counselors to intimidate and frustrate the workers. [4]

Zerubbabel and the Jews were discouraged. Amidst todays social and political unrest, as well as as economic instability, many of us can relate.

So what turned the tide? Four years later we read about a joyous dedication of the temple:  And the sons of Israel, the priests, the Levites and the rest of the exiles, celebrated the dedication of this house of God with joy (Ezra 6:16 NASB).

Along the way, discouragement was replaced by courage to accomplish what God was calling them to do.

That kind of courage would serve us well today.

What was the recipe for the courage which turned the whole affair around?

Turning the Tide from Discouragement to Courage.

A Call to Obedience

First, the Jews had to change their behavior. This was prompted by a call to obedience from the prophet Haggai: Thus says the Lord of hosts, “Consider your ways! Go up to the mountains, bring wood and rebuild the temple, that I may be pleased with it and be glorified,” says the Lord. You look for much, but behold, it comes to little; when you bring it home, I blow it away. Why?” declares the Lord of hosts, “Because of My house which lies desolate, while each of you runs to his own house … (Haggai 1:7-9 NASB) 

This rebuke from God was a call to stop focusing on their paneled houses and complete the job of rebuilding the house of the Lord, which remained in desolate ruins. [5]

God’s word was heeded and the Jews obeyed. Then Zerubbabel the son of Shealtiel, and Joshua the son of Jehozadak, the high priest, with all the remnant of the people, obeyed the voice of the Lord their God and the words of Haggai the prophet, as the Lord their God had sent him. And the people showed reverence for the Lord (Haggai 1:12).

Obedience is always the first step.

A Call to Courage

Then the Lord told the people, “I am with you.”  Hearing this, the spirits of Zerubbabel,  Joshua, and all the people were stirred up. They pushed past the apathy and opposition and resumed work on the house of God. [6]

Then came the call to courage. But now take courage, Zerubbabel,’ declares the Lord, ‘take courage also, Joshua son of Jehozadak, the high priest, and all you people of the land take courage,’ declares the Lord, ‘and work; for I am with you,’ declares the Lord of hosts. ‘As for the promise which I made you when you came out of Egypt, My Spirit is abiding in your midst; do not fear!’  (Haggai 2:4-5).

The promise of God’s presence stirred up the spirits of the Jews and gave them great courage.

God’s presence turned the tide and mustered the hearts of His people to accomplish what He desired. 

But it’s not just a one time reminder. We need to continually realize God’s nearness, especially when facing our own challenges. This awareness of His presence changes everything.

Rebuilding the temple was never easy. Zerubbabel the the Jews needed to constantly know they weren’t alone as they went about God’s business.

How about us? 

Paneled Houses

Like Zerubbabel and the Jews, are we focused on our concerns while God’s work is being neglected? What are our paneled houses? 

It’s a great question to ask. God was not condemning the Jews for having nice houses. The problem was their focus. Their desires had taken the place of what God desired.

What’s our focus? Are we consumed with our “needs” above God’s business? God tells us that if we focus on His kingdom, not our own, He’ll take care of what we need.

But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you (Matthew 6:33 NASB).

“Aim at Heaven and you get Earth ‘thrown in’: aim at Earth and you will get neither.” (A Joyful Christian  C.S. Lewis

God is With us

As we endeavor upon what God is calling us to do, we’re never alone. The things God asks us to do, and to endure, are often extremely difficult. In our work for God, our weaknesses are exposed. 

This a good thing. We sometimes face what we might call God sized problems – tasks which are impossible to accomplish without God working through us.

In our weaknesses, God is strong. [7]  

As God’s children, we’ve been given His Spirit, which Paul calls the Holy Spirit of promise, [8] to indwell us.

The Holy Spirit, the promised presence of God, is to guide and empower us and give us courage for whatever we face. Right this moment, God’s Spirit indwells His children. Though we may not feel His nearness, He never leaves us.

Whatever our circumstances, we can embrace God’s presence. When we do, courage rises.

Prayer

Lord, what great encouragement You’ve given us with the story of Zerubbabel and the rest of the Jews. Though they were discouraged and distracted, they obeyed You. They drew great courage from their belief in Your nearness and from Your powerful presence. Thank you.

Today, You are as close as breath to us, Your children. You are with me right this moment, indwelling me, empowering me, guiding me, comforting me and loving me. Thank you!

Please help me abide in Your nearness and live my life in utter dependence upon You. Apart from You I can do nothing of eternal worth. I want to be about Your kingdom and Your business.

Please show me quickly when I focus on my own paneled houses and neglect what You desire for my life.

I love you.

  Amen

Journal Time

With your journal in hand, spend time thinking about things of this world which tend to consume your focus. Ask God to bring clarity and write down your own “paneled houses”. Ask Him to show you what business of His you might be neglecting, like Zerubbabel and the Jews leaving God’s temple in ruins.

Based on what you believe He is telling you, write a prayer of repentance and obedience, asking Him to guide and empower you by His presence.

Thank Him for giving up His life up to save you and giving you His Holy Spirit to be your constant Helper. Thank Him for the Joy of His presence and the courage He gives you by His nearness.

Come back to this journal entry often.

[1] I Chronicles 3:16-19

[2] Matthew 1:12-13

[3] Haggai 1:1-4

[4] Ezra 4:1-24

[5] Haggai 1:4

[6] Haggai 1:13-14

[7] 2nd Corinthians 12:9-10

[8] Ephesians 1:13

Other Posts in our Rhythms of Joy Series:

Joy is important because it’s an experience of God

The amazing connection between grace and joy

Please Check out the  Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 Novels by the Author:

Rob Buck

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in a old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains