I woke up this morning with light breaking through in my weary soul.
It’s a few days after Christmas, and it’s been a December to remember. In the last three weeks my bride has been through teeth issues, a severe case of shingles (V2 – maxillary variation, which affected the middle of her the left side of her face, very close to her eye), and potentially life-threatening blood clots (two of which traveled to her lungs).
She has been such a trouper through it all.
Personally, I’ve felt extremely inadequate in my role as health care nurse. Nothing in me could have ensured my bride got the care she needed. But God’s strength held us up. I’m seeing that coming to the end of me sooner than later is way better, allowing His strength to shine through me. But it hasn’t been easy. 😑
I haven’t felt a lot of emotions during this time. As has been my MO, I tend to take a deep breath and keep on keeping on with whatever is required. This can be good, but now that there’s a break in the storm, I’m trying to care for my heart, to bring the realities of what’s been happening to Jesus, Keeper of my soul.
During my “soldiering on,” there was a moment, during the operation to remove the clots from my bride’s leg, that the severity of her situation hit me and emotions flowed.
At around 10:30 am, they wheeled her down to a special surgery room in the basement for a procedure that would last about an hour and a half. I met the surgeon and was told where to wait around the corner.
After two hours, I began to worry. I walked around to the surgery room and peeked in through a crack in the door. Bad idea. All I saw was a bunch of blood. Was she okay?
A few minutes later, the surgeon came in and let us know the surgery was successful, but that the clotting was quite extensive. He showed us the clot board.
My brother-in-law, a cardiologist, flew down from Wilmington, N.C. for the day. After the surgery, he told me how serious the whole thing was.
As my bride continues to heal, I sense a measure of healing in my own soul. As I begin to come out of the raw weariness of what we’ve been experiencing, the Lord is showing me how to steward my heart, bringing all that I am to Him, my God of all comfort. [1]
I’ve been quite discouraged, although I’ve only recently realized it.
Today I sense courage rising.
Affection
God’s truth always brings me courage. I turn to some of my favorite verses.
If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. 2 Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth (Colossians 3:1-2 KJV).
I particularly like the way the King James renders ‘affection’ from the Greek word – “phroneite.”
Other versions translate the Greek word as “mind.” But the idea of setting my “affection” on the things above resonates with me this morning.
“Affection” brings my focus from thinking to a heartfelt, whole-soul longing.
It’s so easy for me to set my affections on the happenings of this world, seeking in what I see and experience to carry my hope, my peace, and my joy. These verses help change my focus from all that’s swirling around me and helps me orient my life around God’s eternal truths.
Setting my fondness, my tenderness, my devotion, my attentiveness, my attachment, and my caring on the things above, rather than on the fragility of the here and now, makes so much more sense.
But how do I do that?
Attentiveness
Attentiveness is listed as a synonym for affection.
Our attention is a resource of our minds. Perhaps that’s where the term ‘pay attention’ comes from.
If I spend my attention on sports, politics, entertainment, leisure, etc., these things tend to dominate my affections. There’s nothing wrong with any of these, but they need to be subservient to my higher affection: my Lord Jesus Christ, His commands, and His Kingdom.
As He said:
But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you (Matthew 6:33).
And He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the great and foremost commandment. 39 The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets” (Matthew 22:37-40).
These verses seem to capture Jesus’ desire for us to set our attention and affections on loving Him and others, and on His emerging Kingdom (His rule and His reign).
Only by abiding in the Indwelling Holy Spirit, and yielding to His power, can I set my affection on the things above and not on the temporal things around me. [2]
Prayer
Lord, I thank You so much for Your care for us during these last three weeks. You’ve entrusted us with some hard things, but You have never left our sides.
These hard times quickly brought me to the end of me.[3] I can’t but You can. I need You desperately.
Thank You for the practical ways my wife is seeing how much I love her as You nurse her through me.
Thank You for bringing light to my weary soul and helping me process what we’re going through. And please continue Your healing of my bride, as the pain of shingles continues.
And Lord, I desire to set my affections on things above, on You and Your emerging Kingdom. Please keep my attention on these things as the temporal world continues to swirl around me.
Thank You for giving me courage through the truths of Your word.
I love You so much!
Reflection
As I continue to ponder, I see the connection between affection and affecting.
My affections affect who I am.
The words affect and affection come from the same Latin root meaning – “a state produced in a person by something acting upon them.” [4]
As I set my affections on the Lord and His ways, I’m affected in deep, soul transforming ways.
Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. 18 But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit (II Corinthians 3:17-18).
As I am transformed, I pray I might affect (love) all those around me as Christ has loved me. [5]
As I’m affected in the ways of Christ, as Christ is formed in me [6], His life is revealed.
For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God (Colossians 3:3).
Quotes
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“Where your pleasure is, there is your treasure; where your treasure is, there is your heart; where your heart is, there is your happiness.” Augustine of Hippo (Augustine is essentially saying: your affections follow what you attend to.) [4]
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“We are often distracted by trifles, and seldom fully recollected.” Thomas à Kempis (Our attention drifts toward what our hearts are already leaning toward.) [4]
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“Set your affections on the things above, and your thoughts will follow.” John Owens (He often taught that attention is the steering wheel of the heart.) [4]
[1] II Corinthians 1:3-5
[2] John 15:5
[3] II Corinthians 1:8-9
[4] From Co-Pilot
[5] John 13:34-35, John 15:12
Note: Unless otherwise noted, all referenced Scripture is from the NASB 1995 version of the Bible.
Other posts in our Everlasting Way Series:
Learning How to Overcome Emotional Numbness
Are we More Like Batman or Spider-Man
Transforming Awareness: The Power of God’s Love
Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.
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Nonfiction books by the Author:
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