Tag Archives: attention

(The Everlasting Way) Crucified with Christ – A Life of Surrender

February 18, 2026 robuck4@aol.com Leave a comment

Have you ever struggled with intending to do something important but never getting to it because it required too much effort. Or, knowing you shouldn’t do this or that, but finding yourself doing it anyway.

I do.

These are signs we’re not fully embracing what it means to be crucified with Christ in His death and made alive with Him in His resurrection.

But how can we understand what this really means?

I’ve found answers in The Normal Christian Life by Watchman Nee. [1]

This classic clearly articulates, from scripture, the normal life a Christian is to live:

Knowing our crucifixion with Christ on the cross and how our death frees us from sin [2]
Considering (or reckoning) the truth of our death to sin and life in Christ on a regular basis [3]
Presenting the members of our body, not as instruments of unrighteousness, but to God for righteousness [4]

Upon this knowing, considering, and presenting, we live out the following verse, which is a great summary of the gospel:

Galatians 2:20 – I have been crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. That life which I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself up for me.

This verse states that we died, we’re indwelt with the Holy Spirit, and our life is about depending on Christ, not on our own striving.

I am the vine. You are the branches. He who remains in me and I in him bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing (John 15:5).

But how is this possible?

How can we who are living and breathing live a life of death to self?

In his book, Watchman Nee speaks often of his mentor in the faith, Miss Margaret Emma Barber (1866-1930), a British missionary to China. She helped show Mr. Nee and other new believers in China the power of resting in Christ and not living a life of self-motivated activity.

Of Miss Barber, Watchman Nee wrote: “She had but one motive, one desire, and that was for God. Written in the front of her Bible were these words: ‘Lord, I want nothing for myself.’ Yes, she lived for God alone, and where that is the case, you will find that such a one is bathed in light, and that light illuminates others. That is real witness.” [5]

“Lord, I want nothing for myself” – seems to be a significant starting point for understanding the type of surrender required to reckon myself dead to sin, but alive to Christ.

Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 6:11 NKJV).

Let’s look at each phrase of M.E. Barber’s life’s cry.

Lord

“Lord” – seems to be the most important word of all. Here she recognized God’s nearness and directed her attention to Him.

Godward attention. Recently I had a discussion with friends as to all that’s involved in paying attention. When I spend my resource of attention, I’m paying with my thoughts, my time, my focus, my eyes, and my ears. Attention costs us dearly. Being attentive to God seems to be the one thing which becomes the mainspring of all else in life.

I

“I” In a world of selfies and social media, “I” must be surrendered to Christ in ever-increasing veracity.

He must increase, but I must decrease (John 3:30).

For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God (Colossians 3:3).

Want

What do I want? Comfort? Peaceful circumstances? Popularity? Success? Security?

Yes, to all and more, I’m sure.

These “wants” are ever swirling around in my thoughts and distracting my soul. What my heart longs for is the freedom of Godward attention alone, apart from what I want.

Nothing

“Nothing” (“not one” + “thing”)

So, personally, to apply M.E. Barber’s statement, I would surrender:

comfort
peaceful circumstances
caring about what people think
the need to succeed
riches and worldly security
. . .

These seem more like cares to be given freely to God.

Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time, casting all your worries on him, because he cares for you (I Peter 5:6-7).

For

“For” (“to support,” “on behalf of”).

I want not one thing to support me or to be for my behalf.

As long as I live, I will have wants or needs; I must trust them all to the One who loved me and gave Himself up for me. [6]

Myself

“Myself” (“my own person”)

The last phrase really helps me get the gist of what M.E. Barber meant and what I’d love to be the posture of my heart.

Not wanting anything for myself, but all for Christ.

The many things the Lord has asked me to manage:

time
health
possessions
talents
vocation
my very self

are all His anyway. Why would I not want to surrender them back to Him for His kingdom’s work?

Prayer

Father, I come to You in full awareness of Your nearness and my great need for You.

I long to have a heart like Margaret Barber, whose focused desire was to live out her crucifixion in Christ in full surrender of everything to You.

Lord, I surrender all that You have entrusted to me, not for myself, but back to You to be used for the advancement of Your Kingdom.

Being free of the trappings that bog down my soul, may I ferociously love every person You bring my way.

May I boldly proclaim the wonderful news of the precious blood of Jesus, shed for our redemption, our rescue from death to life.

Amen.

Reflections

Lord, I want nothing for myself.

Yet God has entrusted me with much.

My response is to get to the point each day where I can truly say.

Lord, of all you’ve asked me to manage, I don’t want it for myself; I want it for You to be used as You will.

I want to surrender it all.

Thinking as a man who has died to what I want, that I might be alive to what God wants.

May this be the cry of my heart every day.

In this way, I believe I will make strides towards living the crucified life.

As I forget my death in Christ along the way and revert to living for what I want, I pray God will quickly show me that I might consider myself dead to sin and alive to God.

Quote

“Our old history ends with the cross; our new history begins with the resurrection.” Watchman Nee.

[1] The Normal Christian Life, by Watchman Nee, Tyndale House Publishers, @ 1977

[2] Romans 6:5-7

[3] Romans 6:10-11

[4] Romans 6:13

[5] The Normal Christian Life, by Watchman Nee, Tyndale House Publishers, @ 1977 pages 240-241

[6] Galatians 2:20

Note: Unless otherwise noted, all referenced Scripture is from the World English Bible (WEB), which is in the public domain.

Also, the cover photo is from the cover of M.E. Barber, A Seed Sown in China, by James Reetzke, Chicago Bibles and Books, @2005

Other posts in our Everlasting Way Series:

Learning How to Overcome Emotional Numbness

Embracing God’s Amazing Love

Are we More Like Batman or Spider-Man

Transforming Awareness: The Power of God’s Love

Minding Your Busyness

Our Deepest Longings Filled

Rules Don’t Rule

Mice in the Sock Drawer

Turning Gainers into Drainers

Until the Darkness Fades

Courage Rising

Recovering

Celebrating with Joy – In Memory of a Friend

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading.

Rob Buck

Nonfiction books by the Author:

This collection of devotionals chronicles a heartfelt journey from a life of striving and self-reliance to one of growing surrender and trust in God.

Through personal stories of family struggles, cancer, grief, and unexpected trials, the devotions show that true, unshakeable joy comes not from perfect circumstances, but from the constant, loving presence of Jesus Christ.

It’s an invitation to learn to let go of our burdens and find growing peace in God’s greater story.

Finding Joy in Life’s Moments

Because joy is rooted in God and is eternal, it doesn’t ebb and flow with the waves of circumstances. In fact, as we grow in our understanding of joy, we can even experience it more acutely when life is hard. Why? Because God uses trials to conform us into the image of Christ. With this awareness, which gives us glimpses of God’s greater purposes, we rejoice because of His masterful work to free us from needing anything but Him.

For these reasons, and many others, joy in the Lord is commanded in scripture. It’s not just a good idea, it’s vital to our journey as human beings. Rhythms of Joy

Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for? Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in an old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowingly set off a series of events which uncovers a plot to wipe out a whole family. Hope Remains

Please Check out the Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

Raw and Weary

(The Everlasting Way) Courage Rising

December 31, 2025 robuck4@aol.com Leave a comment

I woke up this morning with light breaking through in my weary soul.

It’s a few days after Christmas, and it’s been a December to remember. In the last three weeks my bride has been through teeth issues, a severe case of shingles (V2 – maxillary variation, which affected the middle of her the left side of her face, very close to her eye), and potentially life-threatening blood clots (two of which traveled to her lungs).

She has been such a trouper through it all.

Personally, I’ve felt extremely inadequate in my role as health care nurse. Nothing in me could have ensured my bride got the care she needed. But God’s strength held us up. I’m seeing that coming to the end of me sooner than later is way better, allowing His strength to shine through me. But it hasn’t been easy. 😑

I haven’t felt a lot of emotions during this time. As has been my MO, I tend to take a deep breath and keep on keeping on with whatever is required. This can be good, but now that there’s a break in the storm, I’m trying to care for my heart, to bring the realities of what’s been happening to Jesus, Keeper of my soul.

During my “soldiering on,” there was a moment, during the operation to remove the clots from my bride’s leg, that the severity of her situation hit me and emotions flowed.

At around 10:30 am, they wheeled her down to a special surgery room in the basement for a procedure that would last about an hour and a half. I met the surgeon and was told where to wait around the corner.

After two hours, I began to worry. I walked around to the surgery room and peeked in through a crack in the door. Bad idea. All I saw was a bunch of blood. Was she okay?

A few minutes later, the surgeon came in and let us know the surgery was successful, but that the clotting was quite extensive. He showed us the clot board.

My brother-in-law, a cardiologist, flew down from Wilmington, N.C. for the day. After the surgery, he told me how serious the whole thing was.

As my bride continues to heal, I sense a measure of healing in my own soul. As I begin to come out of the raw weariness of what we’ve been experiencing, the Lord is showing me how to steward my heart, bringing all that I am to Him, my God of all comfort. [1]

I’ve been quite discouraged, although I’ve only recently realized it.

Today I sense courage rising.

Affection

God’s truth always brings me courage. I turn to some of my favorite verses.

If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. 2 Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth (Colossians 3:1-2 KJV).

I particularly like the way the King James renders ‘affection’ from the Greek word – “phroneite.”

Other versions translate the Greek word as “mind.” But the idea of setting my “affection” on the things above resonates with me this morning.

“Affection” brings my focus from thinking to a heartfelt, whole-soul longing.

It’s so easy for me to set my affections on the happenings of this world, seeking in what I see and experience to carry my hope, my peace, and my joy. These verses help change my focus from all that’s swirling around me and helps me orient my life around God’s eternal truths.

Setting my fondness, my tenderness, my devotion, my attentiveness, my attachment, and my caring on the things above, rather than on the fragility of the here and now, makes so much more sense.

But how do I do that?

Attentiveness

Attentiveness is listed as a synonym for affection.

Our attention is a resource of our minds. Perhaps that’s where the term ‘pay attention’ comes from.

If I spend my attention on sports, politics, entertainment, leisure, etc., these things tend to dominate my affections. There’s nothing wrong with any of these, but they need to be subservient to my higher affection: my Lord Jesus Christ, His commands, and His Kingdom.

As He said:

But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you (Matthew 6:33).

And He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the great and foremost commandment. 39 The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets” (Matthew 22:37-40).

These verses seem to capture Jesus’ desire for us to set our attention and affections on loving Him and others, and on His emerging Kingdom (His rule and His reign).

Only by abiding in the Indwelling Holy Spirit, and yielding to His power, can I set my affection on the things above and not on the temporal things around me. [2]