Have you ever struggled with intending to do something important but never getting to it because it required too much effort. Or, knowing you shouldn’t do this or that, but finding yourself doing it anyway.
I do.
These are signs we’re not fully embracing what it means to be crucified with Christ in His death and made alive with Him in His resurrection.
But how can we understand what this really means?
I’ve found answers in The Normal Christian Life by Watchman Nee. [1]
This classic clearly articulates, from scripture, the normal life a Christian is to live:
- Knowing our crucifixion with Christ on the cross and how our death frees us from sin [2]
- Considering (or reckoning) the truth of our death to sin and life in Christ on a regular basis [3]
- Presenting the members of our body, not as instruments of unrighteousness, but to God for righteousness [4]
Upon this knowing, considering, and presenting, we live out the following verse, which is a great summary of the gospel:
Galatians 2:20 – I have been crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. That life which I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself up for me.
This verse states that we died, we’re indwelt with the Holy Spirit, and our life is about depending on Christ, not on our own striving.
I am the vine. You are the branches. He who remains in me and I in him bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing (John 15:5).
But how is this possible?
How can we who are living and breathing live a life of death to self?
In his book, Watchman Nee speaks often of his mentor in the faith, Miss Margaret Emma Barber (1866-1930), a British missionary to China. She helped show Mr. Nee and other new believers in China the power of resting in Christ and not living a life of self-motivated activity.
Of Miss Barber, Watchman Nee wrote: “She had but one motive, one desire, and that was for God. Written in the front of her Bible were these words: ‘Lord, I want nothing for myself.’ Yes, she lived for God alone, and where that is the case, you will find that such a one is bathed in light, and that light illuminates others. That is real witness.” [5]
“Lord, I want nothing for myself” – seems to be a significant starting point for understanding the type of surrender required to reckon myself dead to sin, but alive to Christ.
Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 6:11 NKJV).
Let’s look at each phrase of M.E. Barber’s life’s cry.
Lord
“Lord” – seems to be the most important word of all. Here she recognized God’s nearness and directed her attention to Him.
Godward attention. Recently I had a discussion with friends as to all that’s involved in paying attention. When I spend my resource of attention, I’m paying with my thoughts, my time, my focus, my eyes, and my ears. Attention costs us dearly. Being attentive to God seems to be the one thing which becomes the mainspring of all else in life.
I
“I” In a world of selfies and social media, “I” must be surrendered to Christ in ever-increasing veracity.
He must increase, but I must decrease (John 3:30).
For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God (Colossians 3:3).
Want
What do I want? Comfort? Peaceful circumstances? Popularity? Success? Security?
Yes, to all and more, I’m sure.
These “wants” are ever swirling around in my thoughts and distracting my soul. What my heart longs for is the freedom of Godward attention alone, apart from what I want.
Nothing
“Nothing” (“not one” + “thing”)
So, personally, to apply M.E. Barber’s statement, I would surrender:
- comfort
- peaceful circumstances
- caring about what people think
- the need to succeed
- riches and worldly security
- . . .
These seem more like cares to be given freely to God.
Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time, casting all your worries on him, because he cares for you (I Peter 5:6-7).
For
“For” (“to support,” “on behalf of”).
I want not one thing to support me or to be for my behalf.
As long as I live, I will have wants or needs; I must trust them all to the One who loved me and gave Himself up for me. [6]
Myself
“Myself” (“my own person”)
The last phrase really helps me get the gist of what M.E. Barber meant and what I’d love to be the posture of my heart.
Not wanting anything for myself, but all for Christ.
The many things the Lord has asked me to manage:
- time
- health
- possessions
- talents
- vocation
- my very self
are all His anyway. Why would I not want to surrender them back to Him for His kingdom’s work?
Prayer
Father, I come to You in full awareness of Your nearness and my great need for You.
I long to have a heart like Margaret Barber, whose focused desire was to live out her crucifixion in Christ in full surrender of everything to You.
Lord, I surrender all that You have entrusted to me, not for myself, but back to You to be used for the advancement of Your Kingdom.
Being free of the trappings that bog down my soul, may I ferociously love every person You bring my way.
May I boldly proclaim the wonderful news of the precious blood of Jesus, shed for our redemption, our rescue from death to life.
Amen.
Reflections
Lord, I want nothing for myself.
Yet God has entrusted me with much.
My response is to get to the point each day where I can truly say.
Lord, of all you’ve asked me to manage, I don’t want it for myself; I want it for You to be used as You will.
I want to surrender it all.
Thinking as a man who has died to what I want, that I might be alive to what God wants.
May this be the cry of my heart every day.
In this way, I believe I will make strides towards living the crucified life.
As I forget my death in Christ along the way and revert to living for what I want, I pray God will quickly show me that I might consider myself dead to sin and alive to God.
Quote
“Our old history ends with the cross; our new history begins with the resurrection.” Watchman Nee.
[1] The Normal Christian Life, by Watchman Nee, Tyndale House Publishers, @ 1977
[2] Romans 6:5-7
[3] Romans 6:10-11
[4] Romans 6:13
[5] The Normal Christian Life, by Watchman Nee, Tyndale House Publishers, @ 1977 pages 240-241
[6] Galatians 2:20
Note: Unless otherwise noted, all referenced Scripture is from the World English Bible (WEB), which is in the public domain.
Also, the cover photo is from the cover of M.E. Barber, A Seed Sown in China, by James Reetzke, Chicago Bibles and Books, @2005
Other posts in our Everlasting Way Series:
Learning How to Overcome Emotional Numbness
Are we More Like Batman or Spider-Man
Transforming Awareness: The Power of God’s Love
Celebrating with Joy – In Memory of a Friend
Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.
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