“Rob, you’re always on a tight schedule. Where do I fit in?” Dad asked. “Put me on your priority list somewhere!”

“Dad, you have no idea all I have going on!” I fumed, raising my voice and releasing some pent up pressure.

After the words came out of my mouth, I regretted them. I could see the pain and hurt on my father’s face.

Dad had been though many self inflicted trials the years before and was trying to rebuild his life. He lived in a mobile home and didn’t have a car, so he depended on me.

On this particular Saturday, he needed me to pick up some groceries. I was doing what he asked, but I didn’t do it out of love for him. I did it out of duty.

The growing list of demands on my time was sucking the joy out of my life. As I lifted the bags of groceries from my car, I was already thinking of the other items on my task list.  I had to mow the yard, take the kids to the park, check on a problem at work, prepare to teach Sunday school the next day and … Which should I do first?

I charged into Dad’s home  and plopped the groceries on his kitchen table. When I was done, I told him I was running short on time and would need to be going. He asked me to sit a moment and chat. I agreed, but insisted I was on a tight schedule.

This is what prompted the dialogue above.

Bad Busy

Later, as I reflected on Dad’s words, my heart was pierced. He had nailed me. I had become so busy, people had dropped from my priority list. I was very dutiful, seeing people not as objects of love, but obstacles to my ever growing list of duties.

Looking back on the time now, I see that much of my busyness was self-imposed; adding task after task to earn God’s love and to avoid feeling as if I had failed in my roles as husband, father, brother, employee, friend, and son. Truly I was acting more like a “human doing” than a human being.

Because of this, I marveled that God could be so merciful to me. He’s called me to be an ambassador of His love, yet I was not spreading his love. Even though I was doing things for dad, he was not feeling loved. He felt disrespected by my indifference to him as a person. I suspected my wife and kids and friends felt the same thing. I was doing a lot of things, but was I doing more harm than good?

One Thing is Needed

I thought of Martha in Luke chapter 10, verses 38-42. Jesus was in her house, but she was so preoccupied with her duties she missed Him. Jesus told her she was bothered and worried about so many things. But her sister Mary knew exactly what to do. While Martha was stressing over her tasks, Mary was seated at the Lord’s feet, worshipping Him and listening to His words. Mary chose the one thing that mattered.

But the Lord answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:41-42) 

Could listening to and worshipping Jesus really be the one focus of my life? As I focus on this one thing, will Jesus lead me into resting in Him and loving the folks He brings my way? As I ask, I know He will.

And because the Holy Spirit indwells me, I can abide in Him for guidance and for the strength needed to carry out what He desires.

Prayer

O Lord, I don’t want to do anything unless You’ve called me to. You want me to love others as You’ve loved me. [1] I’m so sorry for when my need to succeed  overwhelms Your call to love, especially with those who mean the most to me.

From this moment on, please stop me when I become so preoccupied with tasks that those around me suffer. May loving people always be at the top of my “to-do” list. May my duties not be the main thing, but may they be the path you use to lead me to the people You want me to love.

May my life be about receiving Your love and giving it away. I rest in Your love for me. Stop me quickly, I pray, whenever I agree to do anything for the praise of people.

Guard me from being bothered and worried about my tasks. Build in me the rhythm of sitting with You and listening to You, before I work and while I work. I love You, Lord. Keep me settled in Your love.

Amen

Reflections

Now, years later, I’m convinced that if I follow Mary’s example, what needs to get done will get done. I still struggle at times with the Martha syndrome, but I also know that activities, which don’t spring from my dependence upon Christ, accomplish nothing of eternal value.[2]

Living a Mary life in a Martha world can only be accomplish by Christ’s strength within me as I yield to His Holy Spirit at work.

God produces extraordinary accomplishments when we depend upon His Spirit in us.

“The man who remains in the love of Jesus is never a failure” Origin unknown

“Don’t just do something, stand there!” The white rabbit in Alice in Wonderland.

“If the devil can’t make you sin, he’ll make you busy.” Corrie Ten Boom

  “But one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.” Jesus

[1] John 15:12

[2] John 15:5

Note: Unless otherwise noted, all referenced Scripture is from the NASB 1995 version of the Bible.

Other posts in our Everlasting Way Series:

Learning How to Overcome Emotional Numbness

Embracing God’s Amazing Love

Are we More Like Batman or Spider-Man

Transforming Awareness: The Power of God’s Love

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

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Nonfiction books by the Author:

This collection of devotionals chronicles a heartfelt journey from a life of striving and self-reliance to one of growing surrender and trust in God.

Through personal stories of family struggles, cancer, grief, and unexpected trials, the devotions show that true, unshakeable joy comes not from perfect circumstances, but from the constant, loving presence of Jesus Christ.

It’s an invitation to learn to let go of our burdens and find growing peace in God’s greater story.

Finding Joy in Life’s Moments

Because joy is rooted in God and is eternal, it doesn’t ebb and flow with the waves of circumstances. In fact, as we grow in our understanding of joy, we can even experience it more acutely when life is hard. Why? Because God uses trials to conform us into the image of Christ. With this awareness, which gives us glimpses of God’s greater purposes, we rejoice because of His masterful work to free us from needing anything but Him.

For these reasons, and many others, joy in the Lord is commanded in scripture. It’s not just a good idea, it’s vital to our journey as human beings. Rhythms of Joy

Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in an old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowingly set off a series of events which uncovers a plot to wipe out a whole family. Hope Remains

Please Check out the  Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.