Tag Archives: God of all comfort

(The Everlasting Way) Recovering

Basking in the beginning of a new year. It is chilly outside, but we are cozy inside. It’s so quiet. 😊

Jack, our two-year-old Aussie, is constantly making sure we’re okay. He’s been spending a lot of time checking on my bride lately as she is recovering from shingles and life-threatening clot removal surgery.

Today I want to take some time to align my insides with what’s happened externally. I don’t always take the time to do this.

Emotions from multiple difficulties tend to stack up in my soul and grow stale, numbing my tenderness. But today I need to steward my heart. It’s part of our recovery.

A Little Entomology

Re-covery – The word recover comes from Latin recuperare (“to get again, regain”), via Old French recovrer, meaning to return to a former state, health, or possession. [1]

I love ‘re’ words. There are several that work well as I unpack my heart.

• Reflect — to bend your attention back toward truth

• Replenish — to fill again what has been poured out

• Rejoice — to delight deeply, to let joy rise anew

Reflect

Reflect, to bend my mind back toward the truth.

 The truth is that my wife could have been blinded by a severe case of shingles. She could have had a stroke or lost her life with the blood clots in her leg and lungs.

Allowing these facts to pass the stubborn ‘No Entrance’ gate of my inner heart, I cry: “I could have easily lost by bride of forty-four years!”

The reality of these recent happenings is taking root deep within me. My eyes tear up.

Tears are rare for me, and I don’t hold back. My soul shakes a bit to go along with the tear, and soft sobs emerge.

With my eyes closed, I feel a gentle pressure on my arm.

My eyes open to find Jack’s paw on my arm, checking on me. Australian Shepherds are that way. I can learn a lot from him.

Replenish

re – (again) + plenus (full) to fill up again, to restore fullness

My tears don’t last long, and they never erupt into anything more than gentle sobs, but I’m glad for them.

I turn my thoughts to the word replenish.

During a crisis, you can’t easily tell how your soul becomes drained. But I could tell I was getting discouraged. It can be disheartening when someone you love is suffering and there’s not much you can do to ease their pain.

I felt this before during the deaths of my father, mother and sister. Seeing them suffer, I did what I could, but their pain remained.

In our present situation, many folks have rallied around us.

On the first day of the emergency, even before we knew how serious the situation was, Dean, Kevin, James, and Dave showed up at the first hospital.

On the day of the surgery, our kids came from all over the place; our brother Bill flew down. Elder Rob was with us in the waiting room.

The Andes, Anna, the Millers, the Hills, James, Kelsey and Becky brought food, and many others offered. Our kids cleaned up our house and even put clean sheets on our bed. Folks from our church, our neighborhood and long-term friends were constantly praying for us, checking in and offering help.

The presence of love replenishes. It was happening during the crisis, and it’s happening now.

And now, as I pause and draw near to God, though He never leaves me, His nearness, His comfort is replenishing me. My soul is being brought back to fullness. 😎

Rejoice

re–(intensive) + gaudere (to delight)–to delight deeply, to experience joy again

Being brought again to fullness in His presence, my soul senses joy.

In Your right hand there are pleasures forever (Psalm 16:11b NASB)

He is joy. All the “little joys” of this temporal place never satisfy us. Only God gives full joy.

But how can suffering and joy co-exist? The following answers to this question are not exhaustive.

Paul: For we don’t desire to have you uninformed, brothers, concerning our affliction which happened to us in Asia: that we were weighed down exceedingly, beyond our power, so much that we despaired even of life. Yes, we ourselves have had the sentence of death within ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead (II Corinthians 1:8-9).

When our hard times stretch us beyond our abilities, it helps us realize our limitations. We can give up or we can trust in God.

James: Count it all joy, my brothers, when you fall into various temptations, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. Let endurance have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing (James 1:2-4).

Testing builds our endurance and perseverance, teaching us not to depend on circumstances to be okay. In Christ, we lack nothing.

Peter: In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved in various trials, 7 that the proof of your faith, which is more precious than gold that perishes, even though it is tested by fire, may be found to result in praise, glory, and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ — 8 whom, not having known, you love. In him, though now you don’t see him, yet believing, you rejoice greatly with joy that is unspeakable and full of glory, 9 receiving the result of your faith, the salvation of your souls (I Peter 1:6-9).

Trials purify and strengthen our faith.

Prayer

Lord, thank You so much for never leaving our sides during these difficulties. Thank You for allowing me to come to the end of me quickly when it comes to nursing my wife. This is allowing me to stop striving in my strength and more quickly depend on You. I should depend upon You always, no matter what.

I desperately need You. Even when I don’t realize it.

Thank You for providing new ways to show love to my wife.

Lord, thank You for these moments today to steward my heart. Thank You for being my God of all Comfort who is always by my side. Thank You for some tears. May others flow.

I love You

Reflections

In the days since, my bride’s asthma has flared up.

Honestly, this is not what I was expecting. In my sometimes-overoptimistic way, I was sure that after tooth problems, shingles and life-threatening clot removal surgery, health would surely be coming.

She’s had her weary moments, but overall, she’s kept a brave, persevering attitude.

I’m still very hopeful that things will turn around soon. But in the meantime, I’m reminded constantly of how needy I am of God’s strength and power. I must stay alert about this.

Allowing her to express to me what’s going on with her is vital.

I must Relinquish (give up the pursuit or practice of, desist, cease from) my dependence on me.

For my bride, I pray for her:

Recovery (return to health after illness, injury, misfortune)

Refreshment (to make fresh again)

Reviving (to live again)

Restoration (to be brought back to wholeness)

[1] Google AI search – entomology of recover

Note: Unless otherwise noted, all referenced Scripture is from the WEB World English Bible version of Scripture 

Other posts in our Everlasting Way Series:

Learning How to Overcome Emotional Numbness

Embracing God’s Amazing Love

Are we More Like Batman or Spider-Man

Transforming Awareness: The Power of God’s Love

Minding Your Busyness

Our Deepest Longings Filled

Rules Don’t Rule

Mice in the Sock Drawer

Turning Gainers into Drainers

Until the Darkness Fades

Courage Rising

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 

Robby Buck

Nonfiction books by the Author:

This collection of devotionals chronicles a heartfelt journey from a life of striving and self-reliance to one of growing surrender and trust in God.

Through personal stories of family struggles, cancer, grief, and unexpected trials, the devotions show that true, unshakeable joy comes not from perfect circumstances, but from the constant, loving presence of Jesus Christ.

It’s an invitation to learn to let go of our burdens and find growing peace in God’s greater story.

Finding Joy in Life’s Moments

Because joy is rooted in God and is eternal, it doesn’t ebb and flow with the waves of circumstances. In fact, as we grow in our understanding of joy, we can even experience it more acutely when life is hard. Why? Because God uses trials to conform us into the image of Christ. With this awareness, which gives us glimpses of God’s greater purposes, we rejoice because of His masterful work to free us from needing anything but Him.

For these reasons, and many others, joy in the Lord is commanded in scripture. It’s not just a good idea, it’s vital to our journey as human beings. Rhythms of Joy

Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in an old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowingly set off a series of events which uncovers a plot to wipe out a whole family. Hope Remains

Please Check out the  Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

(The Everlasting Way) Courage Rising

I woke up this morning with light breaking through in my weary soul.

It’s a few days after Christmas, and it’s been a December to remember. In the last three weeks my bride has been through teeth issues, a severe case of shingles (V2 – maxillary variation, which affected the middle of her the left side of her face, very close to her eye), and potentially life-threatening blood clots (two of which traveled to her lungs).

She has been such a trouper through it all. 

Personally, I’ve felt extremely inadequate in my role as health care nurse. Nothing in me could have ensured my bride got the care she needed. But God’s strength held us up. I’m seeing that coming to the end of me sooner than later is way better, allowing His strength to shine through me. But it hasn’t been easy. 😑

I haven’t felt a lot of emotions during this time. As has been my MO, I tend to take a deep breath and keep on keeping on with whatever is required. This can be good, but now that there’s a break in the storm, I’m trying to care for my heart, to bring the realities of what’s been happening to Jesus, Keeper of my soul.

During my “soldiering on,” there was a moment, during the operation to remove the clots from my bride’s leg, that the severity of her situation hit me and emotions flowed.

At around 10:30 am, they wheeled her down to a special surgery room in the basement for a procedure that would last about an hour and a half. I met the surgeon and was told where to wait around the corner.

After two hours, I began to worry. I walked around to the surgery room and peeked in through a crack in the door. Bad idea. All I saw was a bunch of blood. Was she okay?

A few minutes later, the surgeon came in and let us know the surgery was successful, but that the clotting was quite extensive. He showed us the clot board. 

My brother-in-law, a cardiologist, flew down from Wilmington, N.C. for the day. After the surgery, he told me how serious the whole thing was.

As my bride continues to heal, I sense a measure of healing in my own soul. As I begin to come out of the raw weariness of what we’ve been experiencing, the Lord is showing me how to steward my heart, bringing all that I am to Him, my God of all comfort. [1]

 I’ve been quite discouraged, although I’ve only recently realized it.

Today I sense courage rising.

Affection

God’s truth always brings me courage. I turn to some of my favorite verses.

If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. 2 Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth (Colossians 3:1-2 KJV).

I particularly like the way the King James renders ‘affection’ from the Greek word – “phroneite.”   

Other versions translate the Greek word as “mind.” But the idea of setting my “affection” on the things above resonates with me this morning.

“Affection” brings my focus from thinking to a heartfelt, whole-soul longing.

It’s so easy for me to set my affections on the happenings of this world, seeking in what I see and experience to carry my hope, my peace, and my joy. These verses help change my focus from all that’s swirling around me and helps me orient my life around God’s eternal truths.

Setting my fondness, my tenderness, my devotion, my attentiveness, my attachment, and my caring on the things above, rather than on the fragility of the here and now, makes so much more sense.

But how do I do that?

Attentiveness

Attentiveness is listed as a synonym for affection.

Our attention is a resource of our minds. Perhaps that’s where the term ‘pay attention’ comes from.

If I spend my attention on sports, politics, entertainment, leisure, etc., these things tend to dominate my affections. There’s nothing wrong with any of these, but they need to be subservient to my higher affection: my Lord Jesus Christ, His commands, and His Kingdom.

As He said:

But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you (Matthew 6:33).

And He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the great and foremost commandment. 39 The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets” (Matthew 22:37-40).

These verses seem to capture Jesus’ desire for us to set our attention and affections on loving Him and others, and on His emerging Kingdom (His rule and His reign).

Only by abiding in the Indwelling Holy Spirit, and yielding to His power, can I set my affection on the things above and not on the temporal things around me. [2]

Prayer

Lord, I thank You so much for Your care for us during these last three weeks. You’ve entrusted us with some hard things, but You have never left our sides.

These hard times quickly brought me to the end of me.[3] I can’t but You can. I need You desperately.

Thank You for the practical ways my wife is seeing how much I love her as You nurse her through me.

Thank You for bringing light to my weary soul and helping me process what we’re going through. And please continue Your healing of my bride, as the pain of shingles continues. 

And Lord, I desire to set my affections on things above, on You and Your emerging Kingdom. Please keep my attention on these things as the temporal world continues to swirl around me. 

Thank You for giving me courage through the truths of Your word.

I love You so much!

Reflection

As I continue to ponder, I see the connection between affection and affecting.

My affections affect who I am.

The words affect and affection come from the same Latin root meaning – “a state produced in a person by something acting upon them.” [4]

As I set my affections on the Lord and His ways, I’m affected in deep, soul transforming ways. 

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. 18 But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit (II Corinthians 3:17-18).

As I am transformed, I pray I might affect (love) all those around me as Christ has loved me. [5]

As I’m affected in the ways of Christ, as Christ is formed in me [6], His life is revealed. 

For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God (Colossians 3:3).

Quotes 

  • “Where your pleasure is, there is your treasure; where your treasure is, there is your heart; where your heart is, there is your happiness.”  Augustine of Hippo (Augustine is essentially saying: your affections follow what you attend to.) [4]

  • “We are often distracted by trifles, and seldom fully recollected.” Thomas à Kempis (Our attention drifts toward what our hearts are already leaning toward.) [4]

  • “Set your affections on the things above, and your thoughts will follow.” John Owens (He often taught that attention is the steering wheel of the heart.) [4]

[1] II Corinthians 1:3-5

[2] John 15:5

[3] II Corinthians 1:8-9

[4] From Co-Pilot

[5] John 13:34-35, John 15:12

Note: Unless otherwise noted, all referenced Scripture is from the NASB 1995 version of the Bible.

Other posts in our Everlasting Way Series:

Learning How to Overcome Emotional Numbness

Embracing God’s Amazing Love

Are we More Like Batman or Spider-Man

Transforming Awareness: The Power of God’s Love

Minding Your Busyness

Our Deepest Longings Filled

Rules Don’t Rule

Mice in the Sock Drawer

Turning Gainers into Drainers

Until the Darkness Fades

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 

Robby Buck

Nonfiction books by the Author:

This collection of devotionals chronicles a heartfelt journey from a life of striving and self-reliance to one of growing surrender and trust in God.

Through personal stories of family struggles, cancer, grief, and unexpected trials, the devotions show that true, unshakeable joy comes not from perfect circumstances, but from the constant, loving presence of Jesus Christ.

It’s an invitation to learn to let go of our burdens and find growing peace in God’s greater story.

Finding Joy in Life’s Moments

Because joy is rooted in God and is eternal, it doesn’t ebb and flow with the waves of circumstances. In fact, as we grow in our understanding of joy, we can even experience it more acutely when life is hard. Why? Because God uses trials to conform us into the image of Christ. With this awareness, which gives us glimpses of God’s greater purposes, we rejoice because of His masterful work to free us from needing anything but Him.

For these reasons, and many others, joy in the Lord is commanded in scripture. It’s not just a good idea, it’s vital to our journey as human beings. Rhythms of Joy

Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in an old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowingly set off a series of events which uncovers a plot to wipe out a whole family. Hope Remains

Please Check out the  Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

(The Everlasting Way) Courage Rising

I woke up this morning with light breaking through in my weary soul.

It’s a few days after Christmas, and it’s been a December to remember. In the last three weeks my bride has been through teeth issues, a severe case of shingles (V2 – maxillary variation, which affected the middle of her the left side of her face, very close to her eye), and potentially life-threatening blood clots (two of which traveled to her lungs).

She has been such a trouper through it all. 

Personally, I’ve felt extremely inadequate in my role as health care nurse. Nothing in me could have ensured my bride got the care she needed. But God’s strength held us up. I’m seeing that coming to the end of me sooner than later is way better, allowing His strength to shine through me. But it hasn’t been easy. 😑

I haven’t felt a lot of emotions during this time. As has been my MO, I tend to take a deep breath and keep on keeping on with whatever is required. This can be good, but now that there’s a break in the storm, I’m trying to care for my heart, to bring the realities of what’s been happening to Jesus, Keeper of my soul.

During my “soldiering on,” there was a moment, during the operation to remove the clots from my bride’s leg, that the severity of her situation hit me and emotions flowed.

At around 10:30 am, they wheeled her down to a special surgery room in the basement for a procedure that would last about an hour and a half. I met the surgeon and was told where to wait around the corner.

After two hours, I began to worry. I walked around to the surgery room and peeked in through a crack in the door. Bad idea. All I saw was a bunch of blood. Was she okay?

A few minutes later, the surgeon came in and let us know the surgery was successful, but that the clotting was quite extensive. He showed us the clot board. 

My brother-in-law, a cardiologist, flew down from Wilmington, N.C. for the day. After the surgery, he told me how serious the whole thing was.

As my bride continues to heal, I sense a measure of healing in my own soul. As I begin to come out of the raw weariness of what we’ve been experiencing, the Lord is showing me how to steward my heart, bringing all that I am to Him, my God of all comfort. [1]

 I’ve been quite discouraged, although I’ve only recently realized it.

Today I sense courage rising.

Affection

God’s truth always brings me courage. I turn to some of my favorite verses.

If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. 2 Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth (Colossians 3:1-2 KJV).

I particularly like the way the King James renders ‘affection’ from the Greek word – “phroneite.”   

Other versions translate the Greek word as “mind.” But the idea of setting my “affection” on the things above resonates with me this morning.

“Affection” brings my focus from thinking to a heartfelt, whole-soul longing.

It’s so easy for me to set my affections on the happenings of this world, seeking in what I see and experience to carry my hope, my peace, and my joy. These verses help change my focus from all that’s swirling around me and helps me orient my life around God’s eternal truths.

Setting my fondness, my tenderness, my devotion, my attentiveness, my attachment, and my caring on the things above, rather than on the fragility of the here and now, makes so much more sense.

But how do I do that?

Attentiveness

Attentiveness is listed as a synonym for affection.

Our attention is a resource of our minds. Perhaps that’s where the term ‘pay attention’ comes from.

If I spend my attention on sports, politics, entertainment, leisure, etc., these things tend to dominate my affections. There’s nothing wrong with any of these, but they need to be subservient to my higher affection: my Lord Jesus Christ, His commands, and His Kingdom.

As He said:

But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you (Matthew 6:33).

And He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the great and foremost commandment. 39 The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets” (Matthew 22:37-40).

These verses seem to capture Jesus’ desire for us to set our attention and affections on loving Him and others, and on His emerging Kingdom (His rule and His reign).

Only by abiding in the Indwelling Holy Spirit, and yielding to His power, can I set my affection on the things above and not on the temporal things around me. [2]

Prayer

Lord, I thank You so much for Your care for us during these last three weeks. You’ve entrusted us with some hard things, but You have never left our sides.

These hard times quickly brought me to the end of me.[3] I can’t but You can. I need You desperately.

Thank You for the practical ways my wife is seeing how much I love her as You nurse her through me.

Thank You for bringing light to my weary soul and helping me process what we’re going through. And please continue Your healing of my bride, as the pain of shingles continues. 

And Lord, I desire to set my affections on things above, on You and Your emerging Kingdom. Please keep my attention on these things as the temporal world continues to swirl around me. 

Thank You for giving me courage through the truths of Your word.

I love You so much!

Reflection

As I continue to ponder, I see the connection between affection and affecting.

My affections affect who I am.

The words affect and affection come from the same Latin root meaning – “a state produced in a person by something acting upon them.” [4]

As I set my affections on the Lord and His ways, I’m affected in deep, soul transforming ways. 

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. 18 But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit (II Corinthians 3:17-18).

As I am transformed, I pray I might affect (love) all those around me as Christ has loved me. [5]

As I’m affected in the ways of Christ, as Christ is formed in me [6], His life is revealed. 

For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God (Colossians 3:3).

Quotes 

  • “Where your pleasure is, there is your treasure; where your treasure is, there is your heart; where your heart is, there is your happiness.”  Augustine of Hippo (Augustine is essentially saying: your affections follow what you attend to.) [4]

  • “We are often distracted by trifles, and seldom fully recollected.” Thomas à Kempis (Our attention drifts toward what our hearts are already leaning toward.) [4]

  • “Set your affections on the things above, and your thoughts will follow.” John Owens (He often taught that attention is the steering wheel of the heart.) [4]

[1] II Corinthians 1:3-5

[2] John 15:5

[3] II Corinthians 1:8-9

[4] From Co-Pilot

[5] John 13:34-35, John 15:12

Note: Unless otherwise noted, all referenced Scripture is from the NASB 1995 version of the Bible.

Other posts in our Everlasting Way Series:

Learning How to Overcome Emotional Numbness

Embracing God’s Amazing Love

Are we More Like Batman or Spider-Man

Transforming Awareness: The Power of God’s Love

Minding Your Busyness

Our Deepest Longings Filled

Rules Don’t Rule

Mice in the Sock Drawer

Turning Gainers into Drainers

Until the Darkness Fades

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 

Robby Buck

Nonfiction books by the Author:

This collection of devotionals chronicles a heartfelt journey from a life of striving and self-reliance to one of growing surrender and trust in God.

Through personal stories of family struggles, cancer, grief, and unexpected trials, the devotions show that true, unshakeable joy comes not from perfect circumstances, but from the constant, loving presence of Jesus Christ.

It’s an invitation to learn to let go of our burdens and find growing peace in God’s greater story.

Finding Joy in Life’s Moments

Because joy is rooted in God and is eternal, it doesn’t ebb and flow with the waves of circumstances. In fact, as we grow in our understanding of joy, we can even experience it more acutely when life is hard. Why? Because God uses trials to conform us into the image of Christ. With this awareness, which gives us glimpses of God’s greater purposes, we rejoice because of His masterful work to free us from needing anything but Him.

For these reasons, and many others, joy in the Lord is commanded in scripture. It’s not just a good idea, it’s vital to our journey as human beings. Rhythms of Joy

Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in an old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowingly set off a series of events which uncovers a plot to wipe out a whole family. Hope Remains

Please Check out the  Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

(The Everlasting Way) Learning to Overcome Emotional Numbness.

Guarded Heart

I first saw my father drunk when my mother wasn’t at home. At ten years old, I was the eldest of three children. My mom and sister were out shopping, and I was with my younger brother.

It was a Sunday, and I was watching a football game on TV. I wasn’t really paying attention to my dad when he came home and sat in his favorite chair beside me.

I found out later he’d been drinking with his friend Charlie.

The Packers were playing, which was Dad’s favorite team. When they scored a touchdown, I assumed he’d be happy, and I wanted to celebrate with him. I pointed out the touchdown, but to my horror, he blurted out something unintelligible.

It was the first time I’d seen anyone drunk, and I remember all the details to this day, fifty-nine years later. 😒

He made his way to the living room, and when he stooped to pet our cat he fell down. I didn’t know what to do. Eventually, he made his way to the hall and bounced between the walls to his bedroom.

There were no cell phones in those days, so I just had to wait.

After a short while, I heard laughing coming from the bedroom. Dad was tickling my little brother. He was too young to realize what was going on.

I vividly remember how relieved I was when my mother and sister came home. I yelled out, “Dad’s drunk,” but I didn’t cry. I couldn’t process the emotions. I felt numb.

A few years, later Dad’s drinking would cost him his job, his marriage, and almost his life.

All my life, I’ve struggled with hard emotions. I really don’t know what to do with them. I have a tendency to process difficulties mentally, but my heart often feels disengaged.

Since that moment so many years ago, my father, my mother, and my sister have passed away. As sad as these loses are, I’ve not been able to shed but a trickle of tears.

Just Feel it

I once told a trusted counselor that I wasn’t sure what to do with some feelings I was having concerning our estranged child.

“What do you mean you don’t know what to do with the feelings?” she asked forcefully. “You need to feel them!”

This was painfully obvious to her but I didn’t know how.

She went onto tell me that the armor which had guarded my heart as a child served me well at the time, as I navigated Dad’s drinking and my parents’ divorce, but I’d outgrown it now.

She told me I needed to learn how to explore and process my emotions. She gave me some tips on how to do this, using different crayon colors to represent feelings, and describing what I was feeling in my journal.

This helped, but I gave the process up too soon. Much work remained.

The Bible says I’m to, Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.” [1]

How can I weep with those who weep if I can’t weep myself?

Crying is not something you can fake. The tears well up or they don’t.

Though I’ve had plenty of opportunities to be sad, I don’t weep well.

God of all Comfort

Some key verses the Lord has been using to begin to dislodge the clogged feelings in my heart are:

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ.   (2 Corinthians 1:3-5 NASB).

I love the word translated as “comfort.” In the Greek it means to summons, to call near, to provide consolation.

As I call God near to my hidden emotions, I’m beginning to experience some softening in the crusted over parts of my heart. His Rivers of Living Water [2] are awakening the deadened sinews and allowing me to feel more alive.

I have a long way to go, but I know God’s at work.

In a recent journal entry, this is what I sense God was saying to me concerning my emotional pain:

Don’t deny the sadness and disappointments in your life. Keep bringing it all to me. The old ones, the new ones. There’s hurt, but like light and salt heal physical wounds, there’s freedom and healing when you call Me near. I’m the God of all comfort. I want to bind every crevice of your broken heart with the Joy of My presence. To the extent you allow My Oil of Gladness in to soften and soothe your pain, true compassion will grow. And as the more hidden places in your heart are brought to My Life and Light, the more you’ll experience the Joy of us being together.

Prayer

Lord, thank You for showing me how important it is to call You near in my sadness and disappointments. Thank you for showing me that denying my deep emotional pain is not what You intend. Some of these losses are extremely hard. My heart and eyes begin to sting when I embrace the magnitude of hurt and loss.

But You are my Life. These feelings are not a surprise to You, Jesus. Isaiah described You as a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief. [3] You know my innermost parts. You knit me together. [4]

You love me deeply. Please keep me from ever doubting Your love for me because of circumstances I face.

I love You, Lord.

Amen.

Reflections

It’s been a while since my counselor encouraged me to work on identifying and writing about my feelings.  I started off strong but didn’t persevere.

Since then, I’ve been introduced to a feeling wheel of color with different nuances of “Happy” “Surprise,” “Fear,” “Anger,” “Disgust,” and “Sad.”

This is going to replace the crayons as I pick back up on identifying and expressing my feelings.

With colored pens, representing feelings, I recently journaled the following emotions concerning a new event in a long-time sadness, which seems to only get worse:

I won’t go into the details from my journal, but the feelings wheel helped me identify that I felt: Victimized, Violated, Irritated, Provoked, Disrespected, and Shocked.

I imagine most opportunities to feel wouldn’t require so many emotions to unpack, but this was a deep, unexpected wound.  The process really helped.

I expect this renewed vigor to both identify and process my feelings will continue to lead me to a deeper awareness of God’s everlasting, non-changing love for me in spite of what happens next.

I want to soak often in God’s everlasting, unchanging love for me. The Lord appeared to him long ago, saying, “I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore I have drawn you out with kindness (Jeremiah 31:3 NASB).

What I’ve just written is not meant to be a knock on my dad. It’s about my own battle with stuffing hard emotions and learning how to feel again.

My father came to saving faith in Jesus Christ later in life. Though he struggled with his alcoholism even after his conversion, his eventual total dependence upon the Lord with his drinking problem led to sober living the last fifteen years of his life. Dad’s story.

[1] Romans 12:15

[2] John 7:37-39

[3] Isaiah 53:3

[4] Psalm 139:13

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 

Robby Buck

Nonfiction books by the Author:

This collection of devotionals chronicles a heartfelt journey from a life of striving and self-reliance to one of growing surrender and trust in God.

Through personal stories of family struggles, cancer, grief, and unexpected trials, the devotions show that true, unshakeable joy comes not from perfect circumstances, but from the constant, loving presence of Jesus Christ.

It’s an invitation to learn to let go of our burdens and find growing peace in God’s greater story.

Finding Joy in Life’s Moments

Because joy is rooted in God and is eternal, it doesn’t ebb and flow with the waves of circumstances. In fact, as we grow in our understanding of joy, we can even experience it more acutely when life is hard. Why? Because God uses trials to conform us into the image of Christ. With this awareness, which gives us glimpses of God’s greater purposes, we rejoice because of His masterful work to free us from needing anything but Him.

For these reasons, and many others, joy in the Lord is commanded in scripture. It’s not just a good idea, it’s vital to our journey as human beings. Rhythms of Joy

Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in an old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowingly set off a series of events which uncovers a plot to wipe out a whole family. Hope Remains

Please Check out the  Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

 

(In the Moments) God at Work (No Trespassing)

When I was younger, I had an idea of how I thought life would turn out, or at least how I hoped it would. I expected good health, peaceful relationships and smooth circumstances. I figured things might turn out differently, but what I didn’t realize is how much I’d tied my sense of well-being to how my life was going. As a result, when the inevitable, unexpected twists occurred, I found myself on shaky ground, searching for something lasting to fill my need for joy. Perhaps you can relate.

It’s a mid-spring morning. I take a sip of my favorite kind of coffee, strong and dark, with a bit of stevia and cream. I’m feeling the sun’s warmth cutting through the new day coolness, but it’s not high enough to blaze over the leafy green canopy. There’s no break in the constant symphony of birds singing above and in the forest beyond.

Like the birds, I want to celebrate each new day joyfully, trusting God to guide me along life’s unexpected paths. I know He’s with me, but in one heart breaking situation, He’s erected a ‘God at Work, No Trespassing’ sign and He wants me to honor it. He’ll invite me in when He’s ready. In the meantime, my job is to wait and pray.

A neighbor, walking her dogs, sees me and walks down the driveway to chat. Jack, our Australian Shepherd who has no tail, wiggles his butt in delight. While I try and keep Jack from jumping on her little schipperke, we talk about how awful the Yankees looked in the World Series.

When she leaves, I continue my ponderings.

Years ago, I denied painful parts of life. I’d feel what I could and stuff the rest, keeping on going with life best I could. Now I’m learning to better manage my emotions. As a result, I see how denying emotional pain desensitizes my heart and hinders my ability to recognize God’s nearness.

If I’m to truly rejoice with the birds, I need to rehearse the steps I believe God has given me to honor His ‘No Trespassing’ sign in this very hard situation.

  • Don’t pretend all is well. Acknowledge my life differs from what I hoped. Accept the losses and feel the pain. Lord, I call You near in the depths of my grief. You’re the God of all comfort. Sooth my pain with the Joy of Your presence. [1]
  • Celebrate the fact that God has seen me through tough times and trust He will do it again. Lord, You’ve been so faithful through so many difficulties. Looking back, I see how You’ve used these trials for me to give up trying to live life on my own and to trust You. [2] The eternal work You’ve done in my soul makes these hard situations worth it. You’ve strengthened me emotionally and spiritually. Thank You Lord.
  • Catch myself when I’m feeling bad about what I can’t change. This is in the Lord’s hands. Decide to stop trying to figure things out. Lord, I trust You to invite me into this difficulty when You’re ready. I don’t want to thwart what you’re doing. In the meantime, I trust You’re at work in the lives of all involved in ways I may never understand.
  • Enjoy the beauty on this side of the ‘No Trespassing’ sign. Even though this situation is one I never expected, it doesn’t make my life incomplete. It’s easy for me to feel like a failure, but in Christ, I am complete. [3] I died, and my life is now hidden with Christ in God. [4] Lord, in You I’m okay, even if this situation is never resolved. I’m free to enjoy life’s moments with you in spite of, and in the midst of, any unexpected situations. 

But as for me, the nearness of God is my good; (Psalm 73:28a NASB)

Challenge

Perhaps you have a similar situation, where God is at work in some very hard relationship, job situation, or illness. As far as you know, you’ve done all you can to “fix” it and God is asking you to wait and pray. This posture is extremely hard.

In this, and other situations like it, we must fully surrender to God who knows it all.  He has entrusted these troubles to us, that we should handle them with care and grow. We draw near to Him, God of all comfort, and we travel through the pain with Him. He is at work in all situations to conform us into the image of Jesus Christ, His Son. Though times like these threaten to discourage us, we have the joy of His presence throughout. (See Psalm 16:11) We know He’s at work and this gives us great hope, even in our pain. [5]

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6 NASB)

Prayer

Lord, my heart is ready to be glad. I want to always rejoice in You, even when life throws me a nasty curve ball. Empower me to keep my eyes on You, always. This hard reality has unexpectedly strengthened my faith. I draw closer to You every day because of it.

You are enough, even if life doesn’t work out as I had hoped.

My life is oriented from things above where I’m seated with You. My comfort isn’t paramount. Please continue Your work while I wait.

While I wait, I follow Your command to love others as You’ve loved me. Show me who You want me to love today. I in Your love and complete joy. [6]

Yet those who wait for the Lord
Will gain new strength;
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary. (Isaiah 40:31 NASB)

[1] II Corinthians 1:3-5

[2] II Corinthians 1:8-9

[3] Colossians 2:9-10

[4] Colossians 3:3

[5] Romans 8:28-29

[6] John 15:9-12

Other posts in our series In the Moments:

As Sea Gulls Fly

It is Finished

Behold the Moments

Tranquility

Stop Striving

Simplicity In Christ

What is Good

Yet Will I Rejoice

Sorrowful, Yet Always Rejoicing

Exploring Grace and Joy together

Stay Present My Friends

Quiddity. It Could Change Your Life

The Cake Maker’s Blunder

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 

Robby Buck

Nonfiction books by the Author:

Because joy is rooted in God and is eternal, it doesn’t ebb and flow with the waves of circumstances. In fact, as we grow in our understanding of joy, we can even experience it more acutely when life is hard. Why? Because God uses trials to conform us into the image of Christ. With this awareness, which gives us glimpses of God’s greater purposes, we rejoice because of His masterful work to free us from needing anything but Him.

For these reasons, and many others, joy in the Lord is commanded in scripture. It’s not just a good idea, it’s vital to our journey as human beings. Rhythms of Joy

Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in an old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains

Please Check out the  Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

Comfort and Joy Revealed

 One of my favorite Christmas songs is God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen. The lyrics include, “Let nothing you dismay. Remember Christ our Savior was born on Christmas Day. To save us all from Satan’s power when we were gone astray. Oh, tidings of comfort and joy.”

These words speak to me. I want to walk around in comfort and joy, but I need to understand what this really means. I have to admit,  I love comfort (ease and freedom from pain and grief). Don’t we all? From my soft down pillows to my built-in propensity to pursue relief from pain at all costs, I’m a comfort junkie.

But this kind of comfort can’t be what’s meant by the words. Christ’s coming hasn’t signaled ease and pain-free living. Far from it. To reconcile the difference,  I turn to Scripture:

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ. (II Corinthians 1:3-5 NASB)

Somehow Paul is able to mention affliction (pressure, a pressing together, tribulation, distress) and comfort in the same sentence? He calls the Lord the God of all comfort, able to comfort us in all our afflictions. I know God’s isn’t an Eternal Pain Relief. He is able to relieve all pain, but often He chooses to supersede our sufferings with the Joy of His presence. The Greek word Paul used for “comfort” means to call to one side, to summon near. True comfort is God’s nearness.

When I found out about my mother’s cancer moments after my Sebring’s motor seized up, leaving me stranded on a barren rural road, I sensed God’s nearness. It didn’t alleviate the pain, but His presence gave me a deep sense of well-being. My outer world was crashing down around me, but I sensed a joy deep within. Would I have known the extent of His Comfort and Joy without that experience? I don’t think so.

The night before He died, Jesus told His disciples about the “Comforter” sent to be with us forever, His Holy Spirit.

  • Comfort and Joy is always available
  • Comfort and Joy is not a feeling
  • Comfort and Joy is a Person

Rest merry Gentlemen. In the Joy of God’s Presence, there’s nothing to dismay. Remember. Christ,  Our Savior, was born on Christmas day. He’s saved us all from Satan’s spell, even when we’d wondered far away. In Christ,  there’s true Comfort and Joy no matter what comes our way.

Lord, when I began pondering the words of this song earlier today, comfort and joy were far from me. The swirl of the world had distracted me from the joy of Your nearness. Thank you for bringing me back to the simplicity of Your continual presence. Your Comfort and Joy is much more powerful than any earthly happening. Please help me to always remember this. 

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures. Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post once a week. Thank you for reading. 

Novels by the Author:

Beyond Time

Hope Remains

I Give Up

As I write I’m watching the meltdown of a squirrel. He (I’m assuming male) is perched on the base of the wire which holds our bird feeder, making noises and tensing his body angrily. He’s chattering loudly and then squawking so intensely that his tail shoots straight up into the morning sky. I don’t speak squirrel, but I’m pretty sure he’s completely frustrated. Since we added a witch hat shaped cone over our feeder, he can’t rappel down the wire anymore and drop down to feast on seeds. Every time he tries, the cone dumps him to the ground.

I must admit I get great pleasure watching him fail, but I also identify with his emotional outbursts. I’ve felt the futility of trying over and over again, yet falling off the cone of life onto the ground. My pattern is to sit in the pain of another foiled attempt, but then inevitably to climb the tree, rappel the wire and convince myself maybe I can grab the edge as I fall and grab a few seeds.

The squirrel may not be ready, but I am. I give up.

Pick an area. Family relationships, friendships, managing possessions, health, time, etc. I’ve come up short in all.

This morning I’ve come to the end of myself. Like my squirrel friend, I’ve frustrated myself trying to pattern my life after the Jesus I read about in the Bible.

In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus calls us to be perfect as our Father in heaven is perfect,[1] to love our enemies[2] and to keep our thoughts and words pure. These high standards are meant to bring us to surrender and dependence.

He wants me to give up more and more of me so  I can depend more and more on Him. As John the Baptist said, “He must increase and I must decrease.” John 3:30

Consider Jesus’ words, spoken the night before His crucifixion, “I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.”  John 15:5

Last night, I felt more desperate than ever. However, in the midst of my agony, I wasn’t hopeless. I knew God was near. As I called out,  He comforted me with His life.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,  who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.  For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ. II Corinthians 1:3-5

The pain is still very real, but He’s opened up space for His Living Waters of delight to flow in my soul.

“I” give up. “I” surrender and choose to depend upon Christ who indwells me by His Holy Spirit. I’m Not always sure how His life is to be released in me, but I’m asking Him to teach me how  to abide in Him moment by moment and how to  love each person He brings my way.

Prayer: Lord Jesus, last night I felt such agony with my life situations, but you comforted me with your presence.

In my pain, you brought hope and light. You gave me clarity and even joy. My deep guttural cries did not go unnoticed and unattended. You’re at work. You won’t relent. You won’t give up until you have all of me.

I’ve wanted freedom and have given you my heart, but I didn’t realize my surrender would require such deep surgery.

You do amazing work in my pain.

I give you permission to go deeper still.

[1] Matthew 5:48

[2] Matthew 5:43-44

Near to the Broken Hearted

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.  Psalm 34:18

Whether we know it or not, we all suffer from a broken heart. Knowing this is the first step towards healing. But how we choose to mend it is the key to whether we are comforted and eventually healed or whether our hearts are broken further.

We were designed for God’s nearness. Our hearts were created to be filled with His presence. We had it once, in Eden before the fall. We were fully dependent upon Him and we lived in continually enjoyment of His closeness.  But, in Adam, we wanted to be our own god. We chose to disobey, causing the tabernacle of God to be ripped out of our hearts.

We enter life thirsty and empty, searching for what we once had; God Himself.

In Luke chapter 4, starting with verse 16, we read that Jesus entered the synagogue in His hometown. He picked up the book of Isaiah and reading about Himself, He said, “The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, Because He has anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted.”

One of Jesus’ purposes is to heal the broken hearted, to bind up and comfort our crushed and bruised hearts; hearts longing for God; hearts broken by disappointments, betrayals and death.

Paul calls Jesus the God of all comfort, who comfort us in all of our afflictions so that we will be able to comfort others. [1]  But how does He comfort us? He comforts us by being with us. The word comfort literally means to come along side, to be near, to be with.

How does God heal our broken hearts? By being with us. Ours is to be aware of His nearness and to depend upon Him moment by moment. When this happens we receive the oil of gladness. [2] Our hearts begin to heal and we can literally be full of joy in the Lord, no matter what is whirling around us. Jesus heals our broken hearts by being the Lord of our hearts.

God Himself is our Exceeding Great Reward. His nearness is our joy, our strength, our peace, our hope, our courage, our healing.

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted

Lord, your nearness heals us. I open my heart fully to your presence. Teach me how to be aware of you in the moments of my life and teach me to love you with my whole heart.

[1] 2nd Corinthians 1:4

[2] Isaiah 61:3