Tag Archives: emotions

Momma Said There’d Be Days Like This

You’re running late for work. You stayed up late and overslept. As you gather your info for the presentation you’re in charge of, you plop a sausage biscuit in the microwave and pry on your dress shoes. The oven sounds and you retrieve your breakfast. As you grab your lunch from the fridge, you spot the mustard and add a dab to your biscuit.

As you back out of the driveway, you calculate that, barring bad traffic, you’ll arrive just in time for the start of the meeting. You can feel the pressure mount as you pull to a stop at the first red light, the one that seems to take forever. As you wait, you take a sip of coffee and think of the countless hours you put into this presentation for your companies’ top client.

“We have good reasons for them to stay with us,” your boss had said. “You just have to clearly show them why.”

As you near the ramp to the highway, you hear a train whistle. Tension mounts. “Please Lord!” you pray.

No deal. The crossing arm comes down two cars a ahead of you. You’re stuck, boxed in, with no way to take an alternate route. The train cars just keep on coming. You sip your coffee and pick up  the biscuit from the paper plate.

As you take a bite,  you get lost in the savory, crunchy delight. But then, as if in slow motion, you watch a large mustard drop escape from the back end of the biscuit as you take your second bite. Yellowness plops and spreads quickly down your blue dress shirt.  You look around. No napkins.

Your boss glares you down as you burst into the conference room, fifteen minutes late. A junior colleague stands up from the presentation desk and gives you a questioning look. Soon after you sit down, you realize why. In your late night weariness, you forgot to upload the presentation from your home computer to the companies’ shared folder.

In stunned disbelief and growing panic, the words of a song flash in your mind:

Mamma said there’ll be days like thisThere’ll be days like this, mamma said. [1]

Perhaps you’ve had days which feel this unnerving. I know I have. What steps do we take to recover?

Recovery Mode

Being an IT professional, I’ve been trained to think recovery. We make plans for restoring the data when programs end abnormally?

That’s IT, but how do we recover from life’s unexpected happenings?

I suggest there’s two phases – circumstantial recovery (dealing with the problems at hand)  and inside recovery (dealing with the affects on our mind and emotions).

Circumstantially, in the above scenario,  perhaps an honest disclosure of your disastrous morning would add some sympathetic humor to the growing tension. Then you could give your presentation from the heart without the Power Point slides.

This might work, but what about the damage to your insides? What are ways you can tend to your heart when your outsides are falling apart?

Soul Recovery

What’s the plan?

As believers in Jesus Christ, we need to be reminded of God’s overall plan. Though we’d like to be, we’re not in control. God is and His plan doesn’t include elimination of chaos from our lives. He has a much greater plan. God is at work for His greater purpose of bringing the universe into submission to Jesus Christ. [2] He’s also at work in us, not for us to experience the American dream, but for us to be transformed more and more into the image of Christ. [3]

Get with the plan?

If God’s plan is different than us just being happy, how can we get with His plan? Even though we love smooth, predictable days with no oversleeping, no train delays, no mustard stains and dazzling presentations, this is not necessarily God’s plan for our day.

What if far greater, eternal things happen in the midst of our difficulties? What if, in our trials, we learn more and more to depend on God and not on ourselves? [4] What if problems lead us into more intense interactions with folks around us, giving opportunities to love them more deeply?

The Rest of the Story

In the above scenario, when you finish speaking your  presentation, you feel relieved. As far as you can tell, you hit all the major points from your presentation.

To your surprise, the client walks up and congratulates you on how you owned up to your struggles and forged ahead, even with an ugly blob of mustard on your shirt. You both laugh. Your client mentions similar experiences and empathizes with you.

When the client leaves, you’re junior colleague comes up and compliments you on how cool you were under pressure and asks you how you did it. This gives you an opportunity to give glory to God for what He did in you. You tell him how you were praying and asking God for guidance the whole way through.

Hearing your name, you look over and  see your client and boss talking. They both smile at you. Your presentation did the trick, the client is renewing for another year.

Stepping Into the Greater Plan

Not every bad day ends with circumstantial success. Some days are so bad we feel the effects for a long time. However, if we stick with God’s greater plan as our goal, our actions can have positive eternal ramifications.

The bottom line has to do with our goal for each day. Is our primary goal to be successful in all our tasks with no problems? Or is our first priority to love God and whomever He puts in our path as we go about our duties? [5]

This change in focus is a paradigm shift which changes everything concerning our stress levels and our joy. Keeping God’s greater purposes in mind, we develop a love first mentality.

If you keep My commandments, you will remain in My love; just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and remain in His love.  These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full. This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you  (John 15-10-12 NASB).

Prayer

Lord, I’ve had days like what is described above. At the time, it felt as if my life was falling apart and crashing into the sea.  But, You are an ever present help in my times of trouble. [6] Thank You.

You are trustworthy. You know what’s best for me. You never stop working for my greater good. Please increase my faith that I might always trust in Your greater purposes no matter my circumstances. Please help me order my days around loving over accomplishments. 

Amen 

[1] Song by The Shirelles, 1961

[2] Ephesians 1:9-12

[3] Romans 8:28-29

[4] II Corinthians 1:8-9

[5] Matthew 22:36-40

[6] Psalms 46:1-3

Other Posts on Experiencing God during Difficulties:

When Things Get Hard

Turing Drainers into Gainers

Can we be Sad and Glad at the Same Time?

Casting Your Burdens

Knowing God’s Love in Spite of the Circumstances

Mustering our Faith

Fixing Our Hope on What Lasts

Dealing with Sadness and Disappointment

I Can’t Do This

Longing Hearts

Until the Darkness Fades

Finding the Silver Lining

Orienting our Lives Around God’s Greater Purposes

Remaining Cheerful

Joy Which Brings Endurance

What’s a Normal Agenda

The Lord Our Keeper

The Monkey Trap

Nearsighted

Embracing God’s Purposes in our Pain

Done Trying to Fix Life

Near to the Broken Hearted

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in a old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains

When God Says Wait

Growing up, I had an idealistic scenario of what I hoped my future would be like. My aim was a life of peace and circumstantial happiness. But it didn’t take long to realize reality is far different.

When I gave my life to Jesus Christ, I figured it would be much better since I’d chosen the right path. What I didn’t factor in is true life is about something far greater than comfort and smooth circumstances.

God is working for my good, but He alone knows what that is. Sometimes we face hard, confusing situations. Jesus tells us we’ll experience troubles , but we wonder why since all they seem to produce is pain. [1]

In a broken relationship my wife and I are facing with a close family member, God seems to have erected a ‘God at Work – No Trespassing’ sign. We’ve done all we know to do.

We pray ferociously. We cry out. We wait.

The following steps help:

Don’t Pretend 

Don’t pretend all is well. Acknowledge life is different than you had hoped. Accept the loss and feel the pain.

Lord, I call You near in the depths of my grief. You’re the God of all Comfort. Sooth my pain with the Joy of Your presence.[2]

Celebrate God’s Faithfulness

Celebrate the fact that God has seen you through tough times before and trust He will do it again in this situation.

Lord, You’ve been so faithful through so many difficulties. Looking back, I certainly see how You’ve used these trials for me to give up trying to live life on my own and to trust You.[3] The eternal work You’ve done in my soul makes this very hard situation worth it.  It has strengthened me emotionally and spiritually. It has drawn me closer to my bride.

Stop Fretting

Fret – to be worried or anxious.

Catch yourself in the act of fretting about what you can’t change. This is in the Lord’s hands. Decide to stop trying to figure things out.

Lord, I trust You to invite me into this difficulty when You’re ready. I don’t want to thwart what You’re doing. In the meantime, I trust You’re at work in the lives of all involved in ways I may never understand.

Focus on What’s Beautiful

Focus on the beautiful things on this side of the ‘God at Work’ sign.

With the birds, celebrate the waking of the new day. Look your loved ones in the face and take in every precious moment. Stay present. Engage your senses in all of God’s moments. Savor. Acknowledge God’s nearness in every detail of His creation.

Though we may feel as if we’ve failed, in Christ, we believers are complete. [4] and no situation can change that.  We died, and our lives are now hidden with Christ in God.[5]

Lord, in You I’m okay, even if this situation is never resolved. I’m free to enjoy life’s moments with You, in spite of  any unexpected situation. 

Take Time to Draw Near

But as for me, the nearness of God is my good; (Psalm 73:28a NASB)

Lord, my heart is ready to be glad. In you, I rejoice always, even when life takes a turn which threatens my sense of well being. Through it all, my eyes are on You. My faith is growing because of this hard reality in ways I would have never thought possible.  I draw closer to You every day because of it. I don’t need this situation to work out to be okay.

You are enough.

My life is oriented from things above where I’m seated with You. My comfort is not the most important thing. Please continue Your work while I wait.

Yet those who wait for the Lord
Will gain new strength;
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary.  (Isaiah 40:31 NASB)

[1] John 16:33

[2] II Corinthians 1:3-5

[3] II Corinthians 1:8-9

[4] Colossians 2:9-10

[5] Colossians 3:3

Other Posts on enduring Hard Times:

When Things Get Hard

Turing Drainers into Gainers

Can we be Sad and Glad at the Same Time?

Casting Your Burdens

Knowing God’s Love in Spite of the Circumstances

Mustering our Faith

Fixing Our Hope on What Lasts

Dealing with Sadness and Disappointment

I Can’t Do This

Longing Hearts

Until the Darkness Fades

Finding the Silver Lining

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in a old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains

Discipleship Rhythms: In the Flow of God’s Spirit

Remaining in the Flow of God’s Spirit 

Ezekiel 47:  1Then he brought me back to the door of the house; and behold, water was flowing from under the threshold of the house toward the east, for the house faced east. And the water was flowing down from under, from the right side of the house, from south of the altar. 12 By the river on its bank, on one side and on the other, will grow all kinds of trees for food. Their leaves will not wither and their fruit will not fail. They will bear every month because their water flows from the sanctuary, and their fruit will be for food and their leaves for healing (NASB).

Story

A two-branch creek runs in front of and behind the barn in our back yard. During heavy rains, debris, mostly dead branches and leaves, but sometimes trash, impedes the flow of water.

These deterrents in the stream remind me of how my soul can get clogged up. So much of the world’s happenings can hamper my focus on Jesus. He tells us that, when we come to Him, Rivers of Living Water (His Holy Spirit) will flow from within us. [1] When I focus on the debris, and not Jesus, the source of the River, my life gets clogged up and I become stagnant. 

 Four years ago, a young friend asked me to help him remain in the flow of God’s Holy Spirit. I was somewhat taken aback that he would ask me, but I agreed to walk with him and share what I’ve learned about abiding. In the years since, we’ve both learned so much about staying in Jesus’ flow within us. It’s amazing how our relationships with God can exponentially deepen when we share our struggles and insights with another.

Following are a few principles we’re turning into life rhythms.

Abiding in the Flow

 Free the Debris

John Eldredge has produced a very useful tool called the One Minute Pause App. I’ve been using it to take vital steps toward remaining in the River of God. The app encourages us to free the debris in our souls by regularly giving everyone and everything to God.

This practice, called benevolent detachment, keeps the worldly distractions out of our hearts and gives us soul space.

This clearing out of the debris, which obscures the flow of God’s Spirit, refocuses our minds, will and emotions on Him and not the complexities and tragedies of life.

It’s amazing how regularly surrendering our wills, and trusting in God and His will, keeps our souls in peace and joy. Refocusing on God’s eternal purposes, above the fray of the day, keeps us hopeful, no matter what troubles we face.

Be Nourished by God’s Flowing River

Ezekiel, in the verses above, speaks of water flowing from the temple of God. He writes about many flourishing trees on both sides of the river. These waters bring nutrition to the trees as they provide fruit for food and leaves for healing.

This reminds me of what David wrote In Psalm 1. He compares men, who walk uprightly and delight themselves on God’s law, to be like trees planted by streams of water.  

As we delight in God, and walk in His ways, His Holy Spirit nourishes our souls like nothing else. We were designed for God’s River to flow freely though us, filling us with His joy and love. His flow satiates our soul to complete satisfaction. As we delight in Him, luscious fruit is produced, healthy green leaves flourish and eternal prosperity marks our lives.

Abiding in the river of the flow of God’s Spirit directs us into His design for our lives. As this happens, God more and more becomes our Joy and Delight, the Sustainer of our Souls.

Be a Blessing

Since, while traveling in the flow of God’s Rivers of Living Water, love, joy and kindness are produced, we become a natural blessing to others, even if we don’t realize it. When we’re in the flow, the people around us sense something different. It’s Jesus in us, though they may not realize it.

Blessing others is a matter of obeying the new command Jesus gave us the night before He was crucified. This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you (John 15:12 NASB).

These words summarizes all of Jesus’ commands.  As we follow it, the flow of God’s Spirit is super charged.

Jesus tells us that as we love others as He’s loved us, we will dwell in His love and our joy will be filled to overflowing.[2]

I’m not big into video games, but I remember the Pac-Man power up. In fact, the way Pac-man was super charged when it ate the power pellets, became the formula for power-ups across gaming to this day. When Pac-Man ate the power pellets, it was super charged to take on all foes.

But Pac-Man’s power was short lived. When we lay aside our own agendas and follow Jesus, by sacrificially loving others, our own love and joy are continually powered up because it’s not ours, it’s His River flowing through us.

Ours job is simply to ask Jesus, “Who do You want to love through me next?”

Practice the Rhythm

Begin now. Get alone with God and clear out the debris which clogs up the flow of His Spirit in your life. Gain soul space. Have a conversation with God and:

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you (I Peter 5:7 NIV).

 Throughout the day, be nourished by God Himself. Enjoy Him and thank Him for all He has created around you. Be vigilant in ensuring that He alone is your Highest Delight.

Be a blessing. Develop a “love first” look at the day. Rather than focusing on what needs to be done, see your duties as opportunities to bring you to the folks God wants you to love.

Prayer

Lord, please keep me in the flow of the Living Waters of Your Indwelling Holy Spirit. You designed me to function at full capacity when I’m abiding in You. Show me quickly when the cares of this world have clogged Your flow. Please stop me when I try and do anything apart from You.

You alone are my Highest Joy. Please show me quickly if any idol supplants You in my heart. I want to love others as You’ve loved me, but I know this starts with my full knowledge of Your love for me. Show me quickly when I believe lies about Your love. Please direct me to disagree with all falsehoods and agree only with Your truth. I love You Lord. Amen.

[1] John 7:37-39

[2] John 15:11

Previous posts in our From Duty to Delight Series:

Discipleship Rhythms: From Duty to Delight

Discipleship Rhythms: Rules don’t Rule Us

Please Check out the new Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child.

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 Novels by the Author:

Rob Buck

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in a old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains

Our Highest Joy (Fixing Our Hope )

Therefore, gird your minds for action, keep sober in spirit, fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ (I Peter 1:13 NASB).

Our hope needs fixing; at least mine does. I’m guilty of tying my sense of well-being to my circumstances. I want to fix my hope on something more substantial than a smoother year in 2021. With the deep division in our country, the global pandemic and plenty of natural disasters, having our stability tied to temporal happiness is a recipe for an emotional roller coaster ride. As mentioned previously, we were designed to find our joy in Eternal God, not in how our life is going. Our health, our relationships, our finances, or our jobs are flimsy structures to hang our hopes on. Unless we fix our hope, our courage to face the day’s activities and challenges hangs in the balance.

The Link Between Hope and Courage

As a noun, hope is defined as a feeling of expectation and trust that a certain thing will happen. Dr. David Rubin wrote, “Hope is a critical component of the complete care of a patient.”[1] Hope is critical to the human psyche. Without it, discouragement sets in.

When we’re in the midst of difficulties, we can fear our lives will never get better. With our hope fixed on circumstances, nagging, long lasting trials can drain us and zap us of the joy our hearts so desperately need. 

These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world (John 16:33 NASB).

When difficulties come, Jesus tells us to take courage.  Be encouraged, not because we hope things will get better, but because Jesus has overcome the world.

Fixing Our Hope on Jesus

In the first verse quoted above, Peter charges us to keep our minds unhindered.  This includes not attaching our sense of well-being to ANY situation, relationship, or temporal joy. He tells us to fix our hope COMPLETELY on the grace to be given us at the revelation of Jesus Christ.

Don’t miss this. Our hope needs to be ONLY in Jesus.

Paul says the same thing in Colossians 3:1-2. He reminds us that since we’ve been raised with Christ, we should orient our lives from where we sit with Him above, not on how things are going on earth.   

Therefore, if you have been raised with Christ, keep seeking the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on the things that are above, not on the things that are on earth.

Then he tells us how:

For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory (Colossians 3:3-4 NASB).

It’s not about us. We’ve been crucified with Jesus and raised with Him in newness of life.[2] Jesus is our life. As believers, we’re free to rest in His life and not fret about ours. We’re in Christ and He’s in us. We’re enclosed round about and hidden in His life. The pressure is off for us having to keep trying to finding temporal happiness to remain hopeful.

But What do we do About our Sadness?

It’s great to be heavenly minded, but what do we do with life’s sadness? Some situations don’t seem to ever get better. I used to smile through them and deny their gravity, but this “grin and bear it” approach is not the answer. It produces an inauthentic, plastic kind of “joy”.

I’m learning how to embrace the fact that sadness is a part of life. And it has it’s place. When I feel sad, I cry out to Jesus. My grief becomes an invitation to call the Lord near. The pain is real, but in the midst, my Comforter brings a strange, unshakable joy.

Hardships can propel me to Jesus and keep me from fixing my hope on anything but Him.

Prayer

Lord, Your ways are so much higher than mine. I have no idea how You keep me encouraged through life’s trials. What a beautiful mystery. And because You’ve been my longstanding Comfort through it all, my Joy in You grows deeper every day. And I get to share what You’ve done for me with others.[3]   I pray I would always be more concerned about loving the people you bring my way than how I feel. I know you care about me and I trust You with my life.[4]

Amen.

 [1] The Importance of Hope in Medical Care – Gastro-Intestinal Research Foundation (giresearchfoundation.org)

[2] Romans 6:3-11

[3] 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

[4] I Peter 5:6-7

Previous posts in the series – Our Highest Joy:

Unmasking the Lie

Dealing with sadness and disappointment

Eternal Thanksgiving

Fueled by the Joy of Jesus

God with Us

.Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 Novels by the Author:

Beyond Time

Hope Remains

God at Work (No Trespassing)

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6 NASB)

When I was younger, I had an idea of how I thought my life would turn out, or at least how I hoped it would. I expected good health, peaceful relationships and smooth circumstances. I figured things might turn out differently, but what I didn’t realize is how much I’d tied my sense of well being to how my life was going. As a result, when the inevitable, unexpected twists occurred, I found myself on shaky ground, searching for something lasting to fill my need for joy. Perhaps you can relate.

It’s a midspring morning. I take a sip of my favorite kind of coffee, strong and dark with a little bit of stevia and cream. I’m beginning to feel the sun’s warmth cutting through the new day coolness, but it’s not high enough to blaze over the leafy green canopy. There’s no break in the constant symphony of birds singing above and in the forest beyond.

I want to celebrate the new day with as much melodious joy as these birds, but I need to be sure I’m still trusting God in these unexpected paths my life has taken. I have no doubt He’s with me, but in one situation He’s erected a ‘God at Work’ sign and He wants me to honor it. He’ll invite me in when He’s ready. In the meantime, my job is ferocious prayer.

A neighbor, walking her dogs, sees me and walks down the driveway to chat. She asks about our new dog, Lily, rescued off the streets on Good Friday.

We talk about shade flowers and how my bride and I plan on adding some color to our water garden next to the porch.

When she leaves, I continue my preparation for the new day. Years ago, I would have denied the gravity of the very painful parts of life, feeling what I could, stuffing the rest and keeping on best I could. But now that I’m learning how to properly steward my feelings, I see how denying emotional pain desensitizes my heart and makes it hard for me to discern God’s nearness.

If I’m to truly rejoice with the birds, I need to rehearse the steps I believe God has given me to help me honor His ‘God at Work’ sign in this very hard situation.

  • Don’t try to pretend all is well. Acknowledge my life is different than I hoped. Accept the loss and feel the pain. Lord, I call You near in the depths of my grief. You’re the God of all Comfort. Sooth my pain with the Joy of Your presence.[1]Celebrate the fact that God has seen me through tough times and trust He will do it again in this situation. Lord, You’ve been so faithful through so many difficulties. Looking back, I certainly see how You’ve used these trials for me to give up trying to live life on my own and to trust You.[2] The eternal work You’ve done in my soul makes this very hard situation worth it. When it first began, I would have never thought this to be the case, but now my heart tells me it’s true. This very hard situation has strengthened me emotionally and spiritually to the point that it is actually worth it. Thank You Lord.
  • Catch myself in the act of feeling bad about what I can’t change. This is in the Lord’s hands. Decide to stop trying to figure things out. Lord, I trust You to invite me into this difficulty when You’re ready. I don’t want to thwart what You’re doing. In the meantime, I trust You’re at work in the lives of all involved in ways I may never understand.
  • Focus on the beautiful things on this side of the ‘God at Work’ sign. Even though this situation is one I never expected, it doesn’t make my life incomplete. It’s easy for me to feel like a failure, but in Christ, I am complete.[3] I died, and my life is now hidden with Christ in God.[4]  Lord, in You I’m okay, even if this situation is never resolved. I’m free to enjoy life’s moments with You in spite of, and in the midst of, any unexpected situation. 

But as for me, the nearness of God is my good; (Psalm 73:28a NASB)

Lord, my heart is ready to be glad. In you, I rejoice always, even when life takes a turn which threatens my sense of well being. Through it all, my eyes are on You. My faith is growing because of this hard reality in ways I would have never thought possible.  I draw closer to You every day because of it. I don’t need this situation to work out to be okay.

You are enough.

My life is oriented from things above where I’m seated with You. My comfort is not the most important thing. Please continue Your work while I wait.

Lord, as I walk into this new day, show me who You want to love through me. Complete my joy as I love others as You’ve loved me, abiding always in Your love.[5]

Yet those who wait for the Lord
Will gain new strength;
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary.  (Isaiah 40:31 NASB)

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures. Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 Novels by the Author:

Beyond Time

Hope Remains

[1] II Corinthians 1:3-5

[2] II Corinthians 1:8-9

[3] Colossians 2:9-10

[4] Colossians 3:3

[5] John 15:9-12

True Value

For in him all the fullness of deity dwells in bodily form, and in him you have been made complete, and he is the head over all rule and authority (Colossians 2:9-10 NASB)

Matters of the Heart

Funny how eternal truths seem solid one moment, but slip away the next. This happened to me the other day concerning my value in Christ. In my mind, the matter was settled, but my feelings told me otherwise. In my journey with Jesus, as I seek to surrender more and more of my heart to Him, light is being shed on lies deep within. I may know God’s truth about myself mentally, but emotionally, under layers of stuffed feelings, fortified falsehoods need to be destroyed.

God is in the business of exposing and rooting out lies we’re believing and agreeing with. When clarity comes, we can dis-agree with cruel, irrational thoughts about ourselves and agree with what God says about us. This process is hard, but yields the joyous freedom God desires for each of us.

Shaky Ground

A few days ago, without warning, the ground of my emotional wellbeing crumbled beneath me. I felt like an orc in the last battle of Return of the King, when great fissures opened and the earth swallowed them up. It took me completely by surprise. Outwardly, I had a seemingly innocent conversations. But something said, set off a flood of confusing, negative emotions. I felt real discouraged, and I wasn’t really sure why.

Fortunately, I had some free time right after it happened. This allowed me to grab my journal and try and process my feelings. I made my way to one of my favorite get-away spots in the woods beyond our property. The place I had in mind was remote enough to insure an extended time of solitude.

I’m learning not to brush negative feelings aside. They’re like warning lights on the dash board indicating something needs attention under the hood.

I sat down against a tree overlooking a small waterfall.

Lord, please help me understand what I’m feeling.

Wading Through Feelings

Understanding deep emotions, especially negative ones, is something I’m learning how to do. At an early age, I wasn’t sure what to do with feelings concerning my parent’s divorce, so I didn’t deal with them very well. I processed what I could and moved on best I knew how. This didn’t leave me very emotionally healthy. But God is a Healer. He wants me whole. He’s showing me that feelings shouldn’t be ignored. If I understand them, and deal with the negative ones, I can experience the freedom God wants for me.

I look up and see a deer staring at me from across the creek. It can’t figure out what I am. I wonder if it thinks I’m a funny looking bush. I remain motinless. After a while, it wanders deeper into the woods.

Lord, I feel like a failure. I jot down in my journal why I feel like a failure in a specific area.

Logically, I know failing and being a failure is not the same thing, but my feelings scream otherwise. Failing is a part of the journey of life for all of us. It’s disappointing, but it doesn’t make me a failure. I reason with myself.

What is it Lord? Why do I feel like a failure?

I wrote:  Value – tossed aside like garbage.

These are raw feelings I’d never expressed. Clarity comes. When I fail, it makes me feel worthless, good for nothing, rejected.

Wow. I’m not cutting myself much of a break. Why Lord?

Mixed up Value System (From my journal)

Robby. You’ve believed your value as a person is inseparably intertwined with what you do. When you fail, you don’t see it as an opportunity to learn and grow. You’re afraid it means you’re a failure,

Yes Lord. I see it. Failing does feels like I’m a failure, worthless, tossed aside. But I can’t be perfect can I?

You don’t have to be. I’ve done it all. Before you took a breath, I loved you enough to die for you and adopt you as my son.[1] My love for you is out of this world, sourced in eternity, unaffected by anything in time or space.[2] You can’t change how I feel about you. You can never be worthless because I indwell you.[3] I created you in my Son Jesus and saved you by my grace for good works, but they were never the measure of your worth.[4]

Prayer

Lord, I see it much clearer now. You’ve taken me deep to show me how messed up my value system has been. Wow. I didn’t realize it, but failing has caused me to fear rejection. How messed up is that? But my feelings revealed my true beliefs which you want to expose. You desire to slather your love and grace upon every deep wound. Thank you so much for not giving up on me.

You care so much for my freedom and joy. You won’t relent until every lie has been exposed and swallowed up by your Truth.

Please continue to uncover deep lies I’m agreeing with that I might dis-agree with them and stand on Your truth. Amen. 

Walking in the Joy of Loving without Fear of Failure

I’m realizing  God wants to take me deeper into these feelings of rejection when I fail and free my heart even more.

However, understanding  my performance never affects my value,  and allowing God’s love for me to determine who I am,  is already bringing  joy and freedom.

I’m learning to rest in what God’s done for me and not fear failure. This frees me to love the people God places in my path.

Laying aside concerns for how I’m performing brings lightness. Since the matter of my true value  has been settled forever, a childlike wonder and joy is emerging in the moments of my day.

[1] Ephesians 1:5-6

[2] Jeremiah 31:3

[3] Galatians 2:20

[4] Ephesians 2:8-10

Novels by the Author:

Beyond Time

Hope Remains