Tag Archives: freedom in Christ

My place of solitude

True Value

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For in him all the fullness of deity dwells in bodily form, and in him you have been made complete, and he is the head over all rule and authority (Colossians 2:9-10 NASB)

Matters of the Heart

Funny how eternal truths seem solid one moment, but slip away the next. This happened to me the other day concerning my value in Christ. In my mind, the matter was settled, but my feelings told me otherwise. In my journey with Jesus, as I seek to surrender more and more of my heart to Him, light is being shed on lies deep within. I may know God’s truth about myself mentally, but emotionally, under layers of stuffed feelings, fortified falsehoods need to be destroyed.

God is in the business of exposing and rooting out lies we’re believing and agreeing with. When clarity comes, we can dis-agree with cruel, irrational thoughts about ourselves and agree with what God says about us. This process is hard, but yields the joyous freedom God desires for each of us.

Shaky Ground

A few days ago, without warning, the ground of my emotional wellbeing crumbled beneath me. I felt like an orc in the last battle of Return of the King, when great fissures opened and the earth swallowed them up. It took me completely by surprise. Outwardly, I had a seemingly innocent conversations. But something said, set off a flood of confusing, negative emotions. I felt real discouraged, and I wasn’t really sure why.

Fortunately, I had some free time right after it happened. This allowed me to grab my journal and try and process my feelings. I made my way to one of my favorite get-away spots in the woods beyond our property. The place I had in mind was remote enough to insure an extended time of solitude.

I’m learning not to brush negative feelings aside. They’re like warning lights on the dash board indicating something needs attention under the hood.

I sat down against a tree overlooking a small waterfall.

Lord, please help me understand what I’m feeling.

Wading Through Feelings

Understanding deep emotions, especially negative ones, is something I’m learning how to do. At an early age, I wasn’t sure what to do with feelings concerning my parent’s divorce, so I didn’t deal with them very well. I processed what I could and moved on best I knew how. This didn’t leave me very emotionally healthy. But God is a Healer. He wants me whole. He’s showing me that feelings shouldn’t be ignored. If I understand them, and deal with the negative ones, I can experience the freedom God wants for me.

I look up and see a deer staring at me from across the creek. It can’t figure out what I am. I wonder if it thinks I’m a funny looking bush. I remain motinless. After a while, it wanders deeper into the woods.

Lord, I feel like a failure. I jot down in my journal why I feel like a failure in a specific area.

Logically, I know failing and being a failure is not the same thing, but my feelings scream otherwise. Failing is a part of the journey of life for all of us. It’s disappointing, but it doesn’t make me a failure. I reason with myself.

What is it Lord? Why do I feel like a failure?

I wrote:  Value – tossed aside like garbage.

These are raw feelings I’d never expressed. Clarity comes. When I fail, it makes me feel worthless, good for nothing, rejected.

Wow. I’m not cutting myself much of a break. Why Lord?

Mixed up Value System (From my journal)

Robby. You’ve believed your value as a person is inseparably intertwined with what you do. When you fail, you don’t see it as an opportunity to learn and grow. You’re afraid it means you’re a failure,

Yes Lord. I see it. Failing does feels like I’m a failure, worthless, tossed aside. But I can’t be perfect can I?

You don’t have to be. I’ve done it all. Before you took a breath, I loved you enough to die for you and adopt you as my son.[1] My love for you is out of this world, sourced in eternity, unaffected by anything in time or space.[2] You can’t change how I feel about you. You can never be worthless because I indwell you.[3] I created you in my Son Jesus and saved you by my grace for good works, but they were never the measure of your worth.[4]

Prayer

Lord, I see it much clearer now. You’ve taken me deep to show me how messed up my value system has been. Wow. I didn’t realize it, but failing has caused me to fear rejection. How messed up is that? But my feelings revealed my true beliefs which you want to expose. You desire to slather your love and grace upon every deep wound. Thank you so much for not giving up on me.

You care so much for my freedom and joy. You won’t relent until every lie has been exposed and swallowed up by your Truth.

Please continue to uncover deep lies I’m agreeing with that I might dis-agree with them and stand on Your truth. Amen. 

Walking in the Joy of Loving without Fear of Failure

I’m realizing  God wants to take me deeper into these feelings of rejection when I fail and free my heart even more.

However, understanding  my performance never affects my value,  and allowing God’s love for me to determine who I am,  is already bringing  joy and freedom.

I’m learning to rest in what God’s done for me and not fear failure. This frees me to love the people God places in my path.

Laying aside concerns for how I’m performing brings lightness. Since the matter of my true value  has been settled forever, a childlike wonder and joy is emerging in the moments of my day.

[1] Ephesians 1:5-6

[2] Jeremiah 31:3

[3] Galatians 2:20

[4] Ephesians 2:8-10

Novels by the Author:

Beyond Time

Hope Remains

Lavishing Grace, Not Afraid of Admitting our Sin

Cheer up, We’ve Messed Up More Than We Thought, But …

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“We fear if people ever truly knew us, they would not love us, but the truth is if people really knew us, they could truly love us” Jon Acuff

One of our pastors likes to refer to all of us, including himself, as ‘all jacked up.’  I don’t embrace this truth very well, but it’s intensely accurate. During the times I haven’t messed up too badly, I feel pretty good about myself. But when an area of my life begins to stink, I tend to go into denial. It’s easier to slather on the cologne and avoid thinking about it than to come to terms with how far I’ve missed the mark.

The truth is I am all jacked up. And I bring my imperfections into every area of my life, including my family, my job, my friendships, my… It seems the longer I live the more I realize I’m not the man after God’s heart I hoped I was. I’m not alone in this. Toward the end of his live, Paul called himself the foremost of all sinners.[1]  But even among such great company, I struggle to fully acknowledge my sin.

The Lie of Lovability

Lately, God has revealed a virus running through the operating system of my heart: The more perfect I am, the more lovable I am. Though I know its a lie, the less perfect I realize I am, the more unlovable I feel. I read what Jesus says about the sinner who washed His feet with her tears, “her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little loves little.”  (Luke 7:47b)

This verse is like anti-virus software targeting the specific lie which has caused havoc in my life. In Christ, God lavishes his grace upon me. What should keep me from opening up all the crevices of my heart to allow His loving grace and mercy to have full access?

Cheer up

“Cheer up! You’re a worse sinner than you ever dared imagine, and you’re more loved than you ever dared hope.” Jack Miller

Could it be that a fuller embrace of my sin will give me a deeper experience of His love?

God is eradicating this lie which causes me to shy away from a full realization of my sin. His great love for me is washing away guilt and shame, showing me something I never expected.

Being brutally honest with who I really am, with all my imperfections and sin, in all areas,  has far reaching benefits for me and for others:

  • Greater sin, greater love -As with the sinful woman, the more I see my sin and embrace God’s forgiveness, the greater I understand His love
  • Eradicating Defensiveness – If I know I’m loved, no matter how much I’ve messed up, I can fully accept, without denial, when others tell me I have broccoli in my teeth
  • Requires dependence – As long as I think I’m doing okay, patterning my life after the historic Jesus I read about in the Bible, I’ll keep grinding it out in my own effort. However, when I see the essence of what Jesus is teaching us in the Sermon on the Mount, that I can’t be perfect and can’t live the Christian life without him, I’ll begin to yield to His abiding Spirit
  • Brings freedom – Jesus says “the truth shall make you free.” (John 8:32b) When we give the Spirit full access to the crevices of our heart, we’ll experience the freedom to fully embrace our humanity with all its ugliness and fully rest in the love of Christ
  • Really Good News – Gospel means “good news” and when we truly understand that no sin is more powerful than the precious life blood of Jesus, this makes the gospel really good news.
  • My Grace Story Brings Hope to Others  When we share our junk and related victories, others can identify and hope is ignites in them. “If God can do that in his life and with his family, as jacked up as he is, He can surely help me.”

Challenge:  

  • Think of the imperfect areas of your life. This shouldn’t be too hard. As humans, our sin is kneaded into all aspects.
  • Of these areas, pick one that’s particularly hard to accept. This is probably an area you find some worth in. Just one for now. You can repeat the process if needed.
  • Spend some being brutally honest with the Lord about your sin in this area. Perhaps you’ve been in denial about the extent. Then, with no hesitation, receive the cleansing power of the shed blood of Christ for forgiveness and cleansing.
  • Rinse and repeat the challenge for other areas.

 Prayer: Most gracious, heavenly Father. I’m so sorry I hold my junk at arm’s length, not fully acknowledging my sin. Thank you for exposing the lie that tells me I’m unlovable when I’m not perfect. What a hideous message. I’m sorry for how my lack of brutal honesty with myself, has affected my freedom and perhaps even the freedom of others. Please keep me in absolute truth, exposing more and more of my junk, that you might use me to trumpet your lavishing love and unending grace to others.

“He predestined us to be adopted as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved. In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace, which He lavished upon us.” Ephesians 1:5-8b 

[1] I Timothy 1:15

Click to Purchase Hope Remains A Time bending novel based on true events in South Carolina.

Freedom from Idolatry

The Idol of Opinions 

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“You know that when you were still pagans, you were led astray and swept along in worshiping speechless idols.” ‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭12:2‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Have you ever been worried about what people think of you? Done something simply because you wanted somebody else to think well of you? How about doing something you know you shouldn’t have just to please another person?

Desiring others to think well of us is not a bad thing, but when we look to them to gauge our value, we’ve crossed the line.

Peter stopped eating with the gentiles when James and certain influential Jews were around. Afraid of what they would think, he acted like a racist. Paul sternly rebuked him.  (See Galatians 2:11-14)

Personally, I can relate with Peter. I’ve struggled with being concerned about what people think about me. Rather than loving selflessly, as Jesus commanded, I sometimes look for something in return from others. It’s like I “need” their approval.  This stems from a misplaced understanding of where my value comes from. I’m loved by the Creator of the universe with a love which surpasses knowledge. God’s love gives me my complete value.

But sometimes I lose sight of God’s love for me. Caught up in the swirl of life, I look to other relationships to give me what only He can. This is sin.  Using other’s to validate me is giving too much worth to their opinion. In essence I’m worshiping their opinion as an idol, making me an idolater.

Idolatry

The word Idol literally means “an image for worship.” A stark reality is that when I do anything to enhance another person’s opinion of me, I’m bowing down in worship to that person in my heart.

In quite spicy language, Paul puts our trying to please others this way:  “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” ‭Galatians: ‬ ‭1:10‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Paul’s words add gravity to this sin of idolatry. But, praise be to God, Jesus Christ died to set us free from all sin. God wants us free.  There’s tremendous power in the cross of Christ to bring death to every sin.

“For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.” Romans 8:13 ESV

Though I’ve known about my struggles with pleasing others for a long time, dealing with it as sin and bringing it to the cross of Christ for mortification has brought tremendous freedom and lightness to my heart. I’m becoming more and more secure in Father God’s love for me. This frees me to love other’s as Christ has loved me, without expecting or needing anything back in return.

Prayer:  Lord, thank you so much for revealing this sin to me. When my flesh wants to walk in the old ways of gaining value from the opinion of others, please show me quickly that I might bring this idolatry to the cross and walk in your Spirit. “Now the Lord is the Spirit and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.”

I know you want to show me more and more so that I can walk in the full freedom You’ve designed for me.  You are impressing upon me that my completeness is in Christ Jesus alone. I love the lightness of heart that the confession of sin brings. Please continue Your work in me. I love You and thank You for loving me so much.