Tag Archives: Joy of Loving

Rhythms: IN (The Joy of Putting Others First)

Story

A while back, a grey cloud settled over my heart. It blew in suddenly and lingered for a while. My wife confirmed my outward mood matched my inward discouragement. She said it seemed as if someone had thrown a wet blanket on my heart to try and steal my joy.  As I shuffled around, what she said resonated, but I had nothing inside to fight it.

Frankly, the last thing I wanted to do was read scripture, but I knew I needed truth. I asked God to guide me and looked at some verses on joy.

As I read, I was struck by how much Paul cared about the joy of others.

He wrote to the Corinthians that he was working for their joy.

But I call God as witness to my soul, that to spare you I did not come again to Corinth.  Not that we lord it over your faith, but are workers with you for your joy; for in your faith you are standing firm (II Corinthians 1:23-24 NASB).

And to the Philippians, Paul wrote that he’d continue in the fight for their progress and joy in the faith.

 Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all for your progress and joy in the faith, so that your proud confidence in me may abound in Christ Jesus through my coming to you again (Philippians 1:25-26 NASB).

What struck me was how committed Paul was to being sure the believers at Corinth and Philippi had a growing joy. He seemed to be equating joy with their progress in the faith. And he was willing to fight for them to have it. 

Continuing, I read what Paul wrote in Philippians 2 about considering other’s interest above our own. As these words settled in, a spark of joy flickered in my heart. Clarity grew and I began to understand some of what had killed my joy.

Looking back, I can’t even remember exactly what I was going through, but I had fixated on me and how I was doing. Unaware of the shift in my heart, I had taken up the familiar position of focusing on my own desires for ease of circumstances and comfort. My intense concern for me had zapped my joy.

Being Poured Out

But even if I am being poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrifice and service of your faith, I rejoice and share my joy with you all.  You too, I urge you, rejoice in the same way and share your joy with me (Philippians 2:17-18 NASB).

In light of what I learned in my “me focused” funk, what Paul wrote in the above verse is the exact opposite of where my heart was. Paul was selflessly willing to have his life blood poured out for the sake of others. 

To get a better understanding of what Paul meant by a drink offering, Old Testament passages mention them, along with other offerings, as sacrifices to the Lord.[2]

Paul was consumed with his relationship with Christ and sharing it with others. He had no fear of death because dying meant more of Jesus.

In the meantime, while God delayed calling him home, his life was characterized by a joy which flowed from his faith.

And here’s the interesting fact, which is undeniable when we study Paul’s life. His joy grew, and seemed to overflow, when he served others.

 Paul held loosely to his life for the sake of building others up. This kind of sacrificial love was not burdensome to him. It filled his heart with a contagious joy.

I ask myself if I’m willing to sacrifice what I want, and even my own life for the sake of God’s kingdom and the spreading of His love?

This seems to be the call for us all. I urge you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship (Romans 12:1 NASB).

But this sacrificial attitude of putting others didn’t originate with Paul. Following are the verses which sparked joy in my heart from the story above.  Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, as He already existed in the form of God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but emptied Himself by taking the form of a bond-servant and being born in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death: death on a cross (Philippians 2:5-9 NASB).

Jesus’ example

On the night before He was crucified, Jesus washed the disciples’ feet (including Judas’ and Peter’s, whom He knew would betray and deny Him).

Afterwards, He told them, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:34-35 NASB)

He later promised that if we follow His example, of pouring ourselves out for others, His love and His joy would be ours in abundance.

“Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love. If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full. This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you” (John 15:9-12 NASB)

As we abide in the love of Jesus, His love overflows from our lives to those around us. This yielding and depending on the Holy Spirit keeps us in the experience of His love and gives us His complete joy.

But following Jesus’ example of being poured out for the sake of others can never happen in our own strength. Loving like Jesus is totally dependent upon His Spirit at work in us to produce fruit designed for loving others.

Conclusion

Kill Joy – The fastest way to kill your own joy is to focus on you. True joy flows as we delight in the Lord’s nearness and work on behalf of others.

As we lay aside our own interests, we’re invited to join the Holy Spirit in a dance of love and joy. Rejoicing in our relationship with Jesus, and the overflowing of His love for others, frees us from the need to produce our own happiness. In His strength and guidance, we ask, “Lord, who do You want to love through me today?”

Prayer

Lord, receiving Your love and giving it away can never happen without the work of Your Spirit within me. Apart from You, I can do nothing. I don’t want to get in the way anymore. I desire to pour myself out for the spreading of Your love and joy. Please keep me from focusing on me, my duties, my circumstances, my happiness. May the people You bring my way be my highest priority. May I love them with Your love and share the joy of faith in You. Amen.

Personal Study

Highlight John 12:1-8

Explain it in your own words

Apply it to your life

Respond to God in prayer 

[1] Philippians 1:25

[2] Exodus 29:41, Numbers 6:17

Previous posts in our Discipleship Rhythms Series:

UP:  God’s Amazing Love

UP: God’s Essential Love

UP: What Hides God’s Love

UP: Christ Lives in Me

UP: Raised up with Christ

UP: Who’s your Treasure?

UP: Obtaining the Joy of Jesus 

UP: Orienting Life from Above

UP: When Things Get Hard

UP: Communing with God

IN: Receiving God’s Love to Give it Away

IN: Having a Love First Mentality 

Please Check out the new Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child with the gospel.

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 Novels by the Author:

Rob Buck

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in a old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains

 

True Value

For in him all the fullness of deity dwells in bodily form, and in him you have been made complete, and he is the head over all rule and authority (Colossians 2:9-10 NASB)

Matters of the Heart

Funny how eternal truths seem solid one moment, but slip away the next. This happened to me the other day concerning my value in Christ. In my mind, the matter was settled, but my feelings told me otherwise. In my journey with Jesus, as I seek to surrender more and more of my heart to Him, light is being shed on lies deep within. I may know God’s truth about myself mentally, but emotionally, under layers of stuffed feelings, fortified falsehoods need to be destroyed.

God is in the business of exposing and rooting out lies we’re believing and agreeing with. When clarity comes, we can dis-agree with cruel, irrational thoughts about ourselves and agree with what God says about us. This process is hard, but yields the joyous freedom God desires for each of us.

Shaky Ground

A few days ago, without warning, the ground of my emotional wellbeing crumbled beneath me. I felt like an orc in the last battle of Return of the King, when great fissures opened and the earth swallowed them up. It took me completely by surprise. Outwardly, I had a seemingly innocent conversations. But something said, set off a flood of confusing, negative emotions. I felt real discouraged, and I wasn’t really sure why.

Fortunately, I had some free time right after it happened. This allowed me to grab my journal and try and process my feelings. I made my way to one of my favorite get-away spots in the woods beyond our property. The place I had in mind was remote enough to insure an extended time of solitude.

I’m learning not to brush negative feelings aside. They’re like warning lights on the dash board indicating something needs attention under the hood.

I sat down against a tree overlooking a small waterfall.

Lord, please help me understand what I’m feeling.

Wading Through Feelings

Understanding deep emotions, especially negative ones, is something I’m learning how to do. At an early age, I wasn’t sure what to do with feelings concerning my parent’s divorce, so I didn’t deal with them very well. I processed what I could and moved on best I knew how. This didn’t leave me very emotionally healthy. But God is a Healer. He wants me whole. He’s showing me that feelings shouldn’t be ignored. If I understand them, and deal with the negative ones, I can experience the freedom God wants for me.

I look up and see a deer staring at me from across the creek. It can’t figure out what I am. I wonder if it thinks I’m a funny looking bush. I remain motinless. After a while, it wanders deeper into the woods.

Lord, I feel like a failure. I jot down in my journal why I feel like a failure in a specific area.

Logically, I know failing and being a failure is not the same thing, but my feelings scream otherwise. Failing is a part of the journey of life for all of us. It’s disappointing, but it doesn’t make me a failure. I reason with myself.

What is it Lord? Why do I feel like a failure?

I wrote:  Value – tossed aside like garbage.

These are raw feelings I’d never expressed. Clarity comes. When I fail, it makes me feel worthless, good for nothing, rejected.

Wow. I’m not cutting myself much of a break. Why Lord?

Mixed up Value System (From my journal)

Robby. You’ve believed your value as a person is inseparably intertwined with what you do. When you fail, you don’t see it as an opportunity to learn and grow. You’re afraid it means you’re a failure,

Yes Lord. I see it. Failing does feels like I’m a failure, worthless, tossed aside. But I can’t be perfect can I?

You don’t have to be. I’ve done it all. Before you took a breath, I loved you enough to die for you and adopt you as my son.[1] My love for you is out of this world, sourced in eternity, unaffected by anything in time or space.[2] You can’t change how I feel about you. You can never be worthless because I indwell you.[3] I created you in my Son Jesus and saved you by my grace for good works, but they were never the measure of your worth.[4]

Prayer

Lord, I see it much clearer now. You’ve taken me deep to show me how messed up my value system has been. Wow. I didn’t realize it, but failing has caused me to fear rejection. How messed up is that? But my feelings revealed my true beliefs which you want to expose. You desire to slather your love and grace upon every deep wound. Thank you so much for not giving up on me.

You care so much for my freedom and joy. You won’t relent until every lie has been exposed and swallowed up by your Truth.

Please continue to uncover deep lies I’m agreeing with that I might dis-agree with them and stand on Your truth. Amen. 

Walking in the Joy of Loving without Fear of Failure

I’m realizing  God wants to take me deeper into these feelings of rejection when I fail and free my heart even more.

However, understanding  my performance never affects my value,  and allowing God’s love for me to determine who I am,  is already bringing  joy and freedom.

I’m learning to rest in what God’s done for me and not fear failure. This frees me to love the people God places in my path.

Laying aside concerns for how I’m performing brings lightness. Since the matter of my true value  has been settled forever, a childlike wonder and joy is emerging in the moments of my day.

[1] Ephesians 1:5-6

[2] Jeremiah 31:3

[3] Galatians 2:20

[4] Ephesians 2:8-10

Novels by the Author:

Beyond Time

Hope Remains