The following morning, it took considerably longer for me to hear Him. Honestly, it felt as though I’d been resting on the packages for hours. As before, they stretched out beyond my vision. In the distance, I could make out a lake or sea. I wondered if I was in a different location or if it was there all along and I hadn’t noticed it. The vibrant hues of dawn appeared to persist longer than usual.
The previous night, Jill had asked, “How will we pay our bills?”
I had no good answer for that, other than going into our savings. Because I was being calm, she wondered if I was in shock.
Then I heard, “Worthy.”
“Sir?”
“In this place there is grace, along with the kindness you learned about yesterday. And there’s so much more. Rest awhile longer. Another adventure awaits you.”
As I rested, I thought about being marinated in kindness and grace.
Having the day off, I enjoyed spending extra time with Jill before she left for work. Concerning her morning package, I heard “Explain why your meeting with Sammy made such an impression on you.”
There was no need to push the agenda. As I sat down at the breakfast table, Jill asked, “What made your encounter with the disabled veteran so impactful? You talked more about that than how you’ve been wrongly accused and suspended without pay.”
I was still grappling with the question myself, but as I began to speak, I hoped an answer would emerge. “What transpired at work troubled me deeply, I had to be alone. After getting my coffee, I saw Sammy as I was headed to the park. I felt directed to try and help him.
“While I was with him, the work problems fell off my radar, especially because he was so appreciative. As I got to know him, love and joy overshadowed my feelings of being falsely accused and rejected. Does that make any sense?”
Jill nodded, absorbing everything. “Listen,” she said after a pause, “I can pick up some extra hours at work until we sort this out. Meanwhile, you can treat today like a snow day without the snow—an unexpected, unplanned day off.”
I smiled. That sounded great.
I had a lunch meeting scheduled with my friend Fred. Meanwhile, I brewed some coffee and savored the sights and sounds of a cool spring morning on our deck.
After some time, I heard the sound of gentle weeping. It was coming from next door where Alice lived. She is an elderly woman whose husband, Ray, passed away just a few months ago. They’d become like family to us.
I walked around to the front and saw her rocking gently, hands over her face.
“What’s wrong Alice?”
As she caught sight of me, the floodgates opened, and tears streamed down her face. I sat down beside her, and heard, “Listen. Offer grace.”
“I feel so alone,” she gasped, wiping away her tears. “This is my first birthday without Ray, and our children forgot about it; they didn’t even call.”
One of her children had called me about a surprise birthday party they were throwing for her on Saturday, which, to my understanding, was her birthday.
“Isn’t your birthday Saturday? I asked.
“It was yesterday,” she replied sadly.
I knew enough of Alice’s growing dementia not to try and set her straight. I figured she’d enjoy the surprise all the more on Saturday.
“I feel rejected, and unloved,” she continued. “Worthless.”
Worthless! The opposite of the word worthy I heard while I was resting on the packages earlier.
“What makes you feel worthless?” I asked.
“If the closest people in your life reject you, doesn’t that make you worthless?”
“If you measure your worth by who people say you are, then I see what you mean,” I replied. “You love your kids. And I know they love you too. You’ll understand what I mean soon enough. But how people treat us doesn’t determine our value. If it did, we’d all be worthless. Sooner or later, people we love break our hearts.”
As I talked, I thought about how our oldest child had disowned us years ago.
“However, if our worth is based on what God thinks of us, through His Son Jesus Christ, we are never worthless,” I continued. I was surprised at my words. I needed to hear them as much or more than she did.
We went on to talk about the grace that saves our souls when we stop trying to “save” ourselves.
Alice became more and more in touch with what I was saying as we talked. She’s a church goer, but I got the impression she didn’t really understand salvation in Christ alone, apart from our works.
Eventually, she realized her birthday was Saturday and we had a good laugh.
As I drove to meet Fred for lunch, the word ‘worthless’ lingered in my mind. I had often sought validation from the world as well. It struck me how fragile a foundation it is to base one’s identity on the opinions of others, on achievements, or on striving to be righteous in our own strength.
Fred was already seated when I walked into Bill and Fran’s restaurant. “Hey bud,” he greeted me, as I took my place in the booth next to him. Fred was the only person I had journeyed with from kindergarten all the way through college.
About halfway through our meal, after we’d caught up on our families and activities, I noticed his package beside me. Then I heard, “Trust me.” I’d find out later this was more for my benefit than Fred’s.
“I have pancreatic cancer,” Fred said.
Seeing the shock on my face, he paused before continuing. “I don’t have long Bobby.”
Fred went on to explain that the tumor had grown before they found it. He’d been given months to live, even with treatment.
I was in total shock and couldn’t get Fred and his family out of my mind as I drove home. Why Fred? I felt confused and angry.
As I pulled into the driveway, my phone vibrated with a text message. It was from Mike, my boss, requesting to meet me the following day at two o’clock.
“He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will, 6 to the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved. 7 In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace 8 which He lavished on us (Ephesians 1:5-8a NASB).
To Be Continued
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Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.
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