Tag Archives: Holidays

Turning Drainers into Gainers

My bride and I have begun to identify and communicate aspects of our lives which replenish as well as those which deplete us. Inspired by a friend, we call them “gainers” (gives energy) and “drainers” (takes away energy). This practice has helped us to be more intentional about seeking to fill our souls, as well as brace for, and avoid if possible, those things which drain us.

We’re noticing an overall improvement in our mood, especially as we work together. We’ve found activities, like walking outside and extended quiet times which are mutual gainers. We’ve also discovered that what might be a drainer for one (wrapping presents for me, doing the dishes for her) could be a gainer for the other. Identifying these things, and taking on the drainers of the other, is allowing us to communicate more deeply and support each other in ways we wouldn’t have discovered otherwise. Recently, we took on a mutual drainer (Walmart, in the cold rain, right before Christmas). 

Acknowledging the shared experience, and jokingly coaching each other through, almost turned that drainer into a gainer. 

I’m also bringing my feelings of depletion to the Lord. Rather than ignoring and stuffing how I feel, I’m asking Him to bring truth to the areas which tend to drain my courage and cause dis-courage-ment.

Lately, I’ve become aware of an increasing amount of anger and hatred in the world. It seems see a lot of people are in pain and hurting people hurt others. Relational pain can be accentuated during the holidays and be very draining.

Another drainer can be our current circumstances compared to how we thought our lives would turn out.

Following are a couple of truths to bring courage to our hearts when we feel depleted.

We’re Completely Loved by Christ

On the night before He gave up His life to reconcile us into intimate fellowship with the Father’s love, Jesus said, “Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in my love.” (John 15:9)

Paul tells us we’re complete, filled to the brim in Christ.[1] God’s love for us fills every crevice of our longing hearts.

When people treat us in hurtful ways, deserved or not, it can be a real heartache. We can deny the pain or try and numb it, but these copings never work. We need to tend to our hearts.

 

Ponder the love of God which surpasses knowledge. Accept by faith that God delights to be with you. Allow the Joy of His nearness to soothe and comfort your heart; the Oil of Gladness to replenish what was lost.

Our Life is Hidden in Christ

As believers in Jesus Christ, Paul tells us we died and our life is now hidden in Christ.[2] One implication of our spiritual death is that more and more we’re surrendering what we want to what Christ wants for us. He wants us to be conformed into His image[3] and that God be glorified in every word and deed of our lives.[4]

When circumstances are rough, we can feel depleted. But God has an eternal story for each of us. He’s working, especially in the hard times, to help us realize He’s all we need. This knowledge can turn circumstantial drainers into eternal gainers.

 Prayer: Lord, thank for Your unconditional, eternal love for us. Please destroy all lies which hide this amazing fact from us. Allow us to walk around in the completeness of Your love, no matter how we feel. Thank You that you have an eternal story going on for each of us, plans which can’t be thwarted. You desire for us to delight in You above all things. Thank You for not allowing us to settle for earthly happiness. In Your presence is fullness of joy.[5]

 [1] Colossians 2:9-10

[2] Colossians 3:3

[3] Romans 8:28-29

[4] I Peter 4:11

[5] Psalm 16:11b

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures. Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post once a week. Thank you for reading. 

Novels by the Author:

Beyond Time

Hope Remains

Longing Hearts

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted , And saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18 NASB)

Holidays can be hard when we’re missing folks we love. Longings brought on by death, distance and estrangement are extenuated during times of togetherness and celebration. These situations affect most families. Common survival techniques include pretending, numbing and busyness. They don’t work.

As the holidays approach, I’ve been asking God for His comfort when people I love are absent. I’m asking for clarity and a deeper understanding of His love. I know He’s with me through all of life’s struggles, especially when my heart aches.

In the comfort of His nearness I’m learning:

God’s Love Fills Every Fiber of My Longing Heart

David wrote:

“My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You in a dry and weary land where there is no water.”[1]

“One thing I have asked from the Lord, that I shall seek: That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, To behold the beauty of the Lord, And to meditate in His temple.”[2]

“You have put gladness in my heart , More than when their grain and new wine abound.”[3]

As much as I miss folks who are absent, there’s a growing awareness of God’s nearness and His preeminent love. His love fills my longing heart to overflowing.

Henri Nouwen calls God’s love our first love and all other loves second. He says we get crushed when we begin to demand from lesser loves what only God can give.[4] “God has created you and me with a heart that only God’s love can satisfy. And every other love will be partial, will be real but limited, will be painful.”[5]

Human absence Deepens Dependence on God’s Love

Nouwen also said that if we’re willing to not let the pain of lesser loves make us bitter, it will prune us and give us a deeper sense of our being beloved by God. When this happens, we can be free as Jesus.[6]

As much as the absence of those we love can hurt,  it can drive us deeper into the unfailing love of God in Christ. This growing awareness of God’s unconditional, never ending love fortifies our longing hearts and infuses us with the Joy of God’s nearness.

Resting in God’s Love Frees us to Love

Jesus said, “As the Father has loved Me, so I have loved you; Now remain in My love.” (John 15:9 NIV)

As I’m learning to walk in God’s love for me, soaking in the completeness of His embrace, He’s bringing freedom. Unchained from incapacitating grief, I can love the people who are near, as He’s loved me.

Lord, You’ve heard the pain of my longing heart. You’re teaching me of Your great love. Human love was never meant to satisfy. You complete me, freeing me to love with no expectations.  If I can’t be with the ones I love, allow me to love the ones I’m with.  

[1] Psalm 63:1

[2] Psalm 27:4

[3] Psalm 4:7

[4] Documentary – Journey of the Heart: Henri Nouwen

[5] The Hour of Power June 1992

[6] Documentary – Journey of the Heart: Henri Nouwen

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures. Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post once a week. Thank you for reading. 

Novels by the Author:

Beyond Time

Hope Remains