My bride and I have identified and communicate aspects of our lives which replenish us as well as those which deplete us. Inspired by a friend, we call these āgainersā (gives energy) and ādrainersā (takes away energy). This practice has helped us to be more intentional about seeking to fill our souls with what helps us come alive. It has also helped us brace for, and avoid, if possible, those things which drain us and leave us feeling exhausted.
Weāre noticing an overall improvement in our mood, especially as we work together. Weāve found activities, like walking outside and extended quiet times on our porch, that are mutual gainers. Weāve also discovered that what might be a drainer for one (wrapping presents for me, doing the dishes for her) could be a gainer for the other.
Identifying these things, and taking on the drainers of the other, is allowing us to communicate more deeply and support each other in ways we wouldnāt have discovered otherwise.
Recently, we took on a mutual drainer (Walmart, in the chilly rain, right before Christmas).Ā 
Acknowledging the shared experience, and jokingly coaching each other through, almost turned that drainer into a gainer.Ā 
Iām also bringing my feelings of depletion to the Lord. Rather than ignoring and stuffing how I feel, Iām asking Him to bring truth to the areas which tend to drain my courage and cause dis-courage-ment.
Following are a couple of truths to help bring courage to our hearts when we feel depleted.
Weāre Completely Loved by Christ
On the night before He gave up His life to reconcile us into intimate fellowship with our Father, Jesus said, āJust as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in my love.ā (John 15:9)
Paul tells us weāre complete, filled to the brim in Christ. [1] Godās love for us fills every crevice of our longing hearts.
When people treat us in hurtful ways, deserved or not, it can be a real heartache. We can deny the pain or try to numb it, but these coping mechanisms never work. We need to tend to our hearts.
Ponder the love of God, which surpasses knowledge. Accept by faith that God delights to be with you. Allow the Joy of His nearness to soothe and comfort your heart; the Oil of Gladness to replenish your soul.
Deeply resting in the love of Christ is a sure way to replenish our weary souls.
Our Lives are Hidden in Christ
As believers in Jesus Christ, Paul tells us we died and our lives are now hidden in Christ. [2] One implication of our spiritual death should be continual surrender to what Christ wants for us. This requires us to lay aside our desires.
God is at work in each of us to conform us unto the image of Christ. [3] His desire is that our every word and deed brings Him glory. [4]
When we feel depleted, we can choose to remember God greater story for each of us. He wants much more for us that smooth, easy lives.
God’s always at work in us, during our gainers and through our drainers. He wants us to know that He’s our Pearl of Great Price, our Highest Joy, all we need.
This knowledge can turn circumstantial drainers into eternal gainers.
Prayer
Lord, thank for Your unconditional, eternal love for me. Please destroy all lies that hide this amazing fact from me. Allow me to walk around in the completeness of Your love, no matter how I feel.
Thank You for having an eternal story for me and all Your children, and for ensuring that nothing can thwart Your plans.
You want me to delight in You above all things. Thank You for not allowing me to settle for earthly happiness. In Your presence is fullness of joy. [5]
I love You Father,
Amen
Reflection
Itās been a few years since I first began pondering these truths about gainers and drainers.
When possible, I choose activities that give me energy and are gainers for my soul. However, purposely taking on things which drain others adds an aspect of serving and loving I need to remember.
This becomes a practical way of sacrificially loving others as Christ has loved me. [6]Ā
What drains those around me may deplete me as well, but thereās significant benefit in purposely looking for ways to serve others in this way. Itās a perfect way to follow in the footsteps of our Lord.
For even the Son of ManĀ did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many (Mark 10:45).
And since Christ now indwells me, all loving should stem out of an abiding yielding to His Holy Spirit within. When this is the case, the fruit of His Spirit will emerge from my loving:
His love,
His joy,
His peace,
His patience,
His kindness,
His goodness,
His faithfulness,
His gentleness,
His self-control.
Do the folks Iām loving deserve any less?
If I’m striving to display these qualities in my own strength it produces hollow love, storm clouds without rain. These cheap imitations of love become drainers to me and to those Iām trying to serve.
Taking on the drainers of those around me, when done in total dependence upon the Spirit, keeps me in the love of Christ and gives me His complete joy.
10Ā If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Fatherās commands and remain in his love.Ā 11Ā I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.Ā 12Ā My command is this: love each other as I have loved you (John 15:10-12 NIV).
In conclusion, if Iām loving others in the same way Christ loves me, if Iām looking to take on the drainers of others, then, according to the above promise of Jesus:
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I remain in His love
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Iām given the complete joy of JesusĀ
These gainers are worth any drainer. š
Quotes
āOnly a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.ā ā Albert Einstein
āLifeās most persistent and urgent question is, āWhat are you doing for others?āā ā Martin Luther King Jr.Ā
āReal living is living for others.ā ā Bruce Lee
[1] Colossians 2:9-10
[2] Colossians 3:3
[3] Romans 8:28-29
[4] I Peter 4:11
[5] Psalm 16:11b
[6] John 15:12
Note: Unless otherwise noted, all referenced Scripture is from the NASB 1995 version of the Bible.Ā
Other posts in our Everlasting Way Series:
Learning How to Overcome Emotional Numbness
Embracing Godās Amazing Love
Are we More Like Batman or Spider-Man
Transforming Awareness: The Power of Godās Love
Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of Godās nearness in the midst of lifeās adventures.
Subscribe to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading.Ā
Ā 
Nonfiction books by the Author:
This collection of devotionals chronicles a heartfelt journey from a life of striving and self-reliance to one of growing surrender and trust in God.
Through personal stories of family struggles, cancer, grief, and unexpected trials, the devotions show that true, unshakeable joy comes not from perfect circumstances, but from the constant, loving presence of Jesus Christ.
Itās an invitation to learn to let go of our burdens and find growing peace in Godās greater story.
Finding Joy in Lifeās Moments
Because joy is rooted in God and is eternal, it doesnāt ebb and flow with the waves of circumstances. In fact, as we grow in our understanding of joy, we can even experience it more acutely when life is hard. Why? Because God uses trials to conform us into the image of Christ. With this awareness, which gives us glimpses of Godās greater purposes, we rejoice because of His masterful work to free us from needing anything but Him.
For these reasons, and many others, joy in the Lord is commanded in scripture. Itās not just a good idea, itās vital to our journey as human beings.Ā Rhythms of Joy
Novels by the Author:
What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?Ā Ā Beyond Time
By finding two undelivered letters in an old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowingly set off a series of events which uncovers a plot to wipe out a whole family.Ā Hope Remains
Please Check out theĀ Ā Cola City PodcastĀ . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.
