Tag Archives: hurtful

(In the Moments) When I Don’t Feel God’s Lovingkindness

It’s a brisk fall afternoon in the mountains of North Carolina. I’m perched on a bench above the Cove Conference center, enjoying the warmth of the sun on my face as it rises above the mountainous horizon. The fiery reds, burnished oranges, golden yellows, and chocolate browns of the trees ignite my senses and inspire my soul.

Sipping some cool water, I open my Bible and read about God’s lovingkindness toward us.

O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly; My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You, In a dry and weary land where there is no water. Thus I have seen You in the sanctuary, To see Your power and Your glory. Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, My lips will praise You. (Psalm 63:1-3)

David was in the wilderness when he penned Psalm 63 and he compared his longing soul to dry, cracked soil. He desperately needed God’s presence, His Rivers of Living Water. (John 7:37-39)

I can relate to David’s desperate longings for God, but what catches my attention is the phrase “lovingkindness.” David says it’s better than life itself.

Lovingkindness. What does it really mean? I’ve heard people say that if you compare love to a piece of freshly baked bread, slathered with butter. Lovingkindness is like adding strawberry preserves to what’s already succulently delicious.

The Hebrew word used here means goodness, faithfulness, and kindness.

Jesus tells us God’s love for us is as great as the Father’s love for Him. (John 15:9) Paul uses words about God’s love for us, which conger images of an ocean of love, beyond our understanding. (Ephesians 3:16-21)

When life is good, I can recognize God’s lovingkindness. However, in hard times, I don’t always feel loved, mostly because I don’t feel lovable.

Two situations come to mind.

  • When I fail
  • When I’m hurt.

When I Fail

I hate failing. I’ve had failures as a husband, as a father, as a son, as a brother, as an employee and an employer, as a friend, etc. Failure can cause me to feel unlovable. How can I be loved, given my many failures?

As I write, the Holy Spirit reminds me:

I am united with Christ in his death and resurrection. Christ raised me and seated me with him in heavenly places. (Ephesians 2:6) Despite my failures, I’m perfectly loved by God hidden with Christ in Him (Colossians 3:3-4) Even though, in this temporal realm, I’m far from perfect, God loves me as much as He loves Jesus (John 15:9).

And although you were formerly alienated and hostile in mind, engaged in evil deeds, yet He has now reconciled you in His fleshly body through death, in order to present you before Him holy and blameless and beyond reproach. (Colossians 1:21-22)

In Christ, I’m holy, blameless and beyond reproach. When I see this, and believe it by faith, I feel God’s lovingkindness, even in my failures. There are truths about me in Christ which can’t change. They’re eternal, beyond the reach of the temporal.

When I’m Hurt

I struggle to embrace God’s lovingkindness when others hurt me. Being hurt can cause deep emotional pain, making me feel rejected and unlovable, even by God.

When I invite God into my pain, I do sense His presence and comfort. I’m learning not to rely on the love of others for my value.

What helps is to realize the surpassing greatness of God’s love compared to even our dearest earthly relationships. All human relationships must be secondary to our relationship with God. In fact, in Luke 14:26 Jesus says, “If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.”

Compared to God’s great love, human love is like hate. God’s lovingkindness far exceeds all human affection. When I get a grasp of the expanse of His surpassing love for me, I’m filled with joy, even when people are unusually cruel.

More and more I seek love only from Him. This frees me up to love others for their sake, not for what I might get out of the relationship.

Better Than Life

God’s love overshadows everything about us. When life is hardest, His lovingkindness shines even brighter. As a diamond sparkles against a dark background, God’s love is more brilliant in our darkest days.

Challenge

Is there a situation you’re in right now which is threatening to overshadow your awareness of God’s love for you? It could be a pattern of failure, hurt from people you love, or some other situation.

By faith, count as true the words of the Apostle Paul, from Ephesians 3:14-19, concerning God’s surpassing love for us: For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, 15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, 16 that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 19 and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.

Soak in His love for you and receive it, even if it does surpass knowledge.

Prayer

Lord, I rest in Your love right now. I desire to walk in Your love throughout the day. Even when I go through hard times, your love shines brighter and brighter. You are faithful. You are good. You are kind.

You love me.

Your lovingkindness is everlasting. (Psalm 136)

Your lovingkindness is better than life.

Please keep me aware of You and Your love every moment of my life.

Amen

Photo generated by AI

Other posts in our series In the Moments:

As Sea Gulls Fly

It is Finished

Behold the Moments

Tranquility

Stop Striving

Simplicity In Christ

What is Good

Yet Will I Rejoice

Sorrowful, Yet Always Rejoicing

Exploring Grace and Joy together

Stay Present My Friends

Quiddity. It Could Change Your Life

The Cake Maker’s Blunder

God at Work (No Trespassing)

Hidden with Christ in God

Finding Joy in Love and Relationships

Escaping the Rat Race

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 

Robby Buck

Nonfiction books by the Author:

Because joy is rooted in God and is eternal, it doesn’t ebb and flow with the waves of circumstances. In fact, as we grow in our understanding of joy, we can even experience it more acutely when life is hard. Why? Because God uses trials to conform us into the image of Christ. With this awareness, which gives us glimpses of God’s greater purposes, we rejoice because of His masterful work to free us from needing anything but Him.

For these reasons, and many others, joy in the Lord is commanded in scripture. It’s not just a good idea, it’s vital to our journey as human beings. Rhythms of Joy

Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in an old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains

Please Check out the  Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

Completely Loved – Hot Fudge Sundae With or Without Sprinkles

As the Father has loved Me, I have loved you; now remain in My love (John 15:9)

As the Father loves Jesus, He loves us. Pause and allow the astonishing realities of this truth to have full access to your heart. Love is a human need. It’s fundamentally wired into the fabricate of our hearts. We’re designed to be loved and to love, starting with Christ’s love for us.[1] God’s love is bedrock. If we don’t know it, we’ll try and get it from those we’re supposed to be loving. Jesus’ trademark command depends on us receiving His love and giving it away. “This is my commandment that you love one another, just as I have loved you.”[2] There’s a joyous freedom in loving others only for their sake, but it starts with knowing, remaining in and walking in the complete love of Christ.

Paul tells us we’re complete in Christ.[3] The Greek word he used for ‘complete’ means filled to the brim, fully satisfied. We’re satiated in a love which fully validates us; an eternal love which is wider, longer, higher and deeper than our minds can grasp.[4] Christ has filled our love cup to overflowing.

I know these words are true, but I struggle. When I’m treated well, it’s easy to attach my ‘heart strings’ to human love. When people are unkind and hurtful, I forget Christ’s love  and feel rejected.

Just returning from a sunset walk on the beach capping off an incredible family trip. We rented a house on Tybee Island where we enjoyed seafood, board games, ping pong, golf carts and sitting in chairs at the ocean’s edge.  In the midst of God’s provision and creation, we experienced love in a myriad of unselfish acts of kindness towards each other. Our hearts stayed warmed and I can’t stop smiling.

But these human expressions of love are not always the case. I’ve also experienced unkind words and actions which felt like heart shrapnel, carefully aimed for maximum pain.

Life can be filled with extreme ranges of human love and hate. If we don’t fully comprehend God’s complete love for us and seek our core feelings of love from people, we’re in for an emotional roller coaster of fleeting highs and deep pain. We simply can not be fulfilled by human love.

For a moment, consider the complete love of Christ being like eating your fill of hot fudge sundaes – rich ice cream, topped with dark chocolate, real whipped cream and a cherry. Like the succulence sundaes satisfy our appetite, God’s love satiates our hearts. Nothing more is needed. We’re filled to the brim with love.

In this analogy, human love would be like sprinkles on the Sundae. They’re nice. They add to the flavor and experience, but we’re still fully satisfied without them. Sprinkles by themselves are sweet, but hardly filling.

If a person treats us unlovingly, we’re still okay. They’re just sprinkles. We don’t need their love to complete us.

Lord, I’m beginning to wrap my heart around what your eternal love means. Please continue to show me. I like experiencing love from those around me, but your love completes me . In the fulness of your love, I rest. Teach me how to love others as you’ve loved me.

[1] I John 4:19

[2] John 15:12

[3] Colossians 2:10

[4] Ephesians 3:17-20

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures. Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 Novels by the Author:

Beyond Time

Hope Remains