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Remain in His Love

(The Everlasting Way) Loving Without a Kickback

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Several years ago, one of my sons and I were tending a burn pile down by the barn. As we sat in camping chairs, water hose ready, watching the dried limbs and brush blaze, he had something to tell me that was very hard to hear.

As my eyes followed a floating ash dancing upward in the billows of smoke, he said, Dad, growing up I felt as if you cared more about the relationship than you did about me.

He explained that he knew I loved him, but he could tell I cared a lot about being viewed as a successful father.

His words pierced my heart. I knew what he was saying was true. Fear of failure as a (son, husband, father, provider, brother, friend, employee, employer, etc.) has long tormented my soul. And I’ve wrongly used the opinion of others to assess my success.

Thus, my love, though as genuine as I knew how to give it, was not entirely pure. All along, even unknowingly, I was expecting a positive reaction to measure my success.

This hard, but valuable conversation set me on a journey to greater freedom and Joy.

Filled with the Father’s Love

Turning to scripture for answers, I read:

Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come forth from God and was going back to God, gets up from supper, and lays aside His garments; and taking a towel, He girded Himself. Then He pours water into the basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded (John 13:3-5).

Jesus’ oneness with His Father gave Him the ability to live on a higher plain. Though Judas and Peter would soon betray and deny Him, he washed their feet anyway.

He loved them regardless of how they treated Him.

Jesus knew His Father’s love for Him, established before the world began.

Father, I desire that they also, whom You have given Me, be with Me where I am, so that they may see My glory which You have given Me, for You loved Me before the foundation of the world (John 17:24). 

He had no need of to be validated by people. He knew the human heart and didn’t trust people to receive any identity from them.

Because of the miraculous signs Jesus did in Jerusalem at the Passover celebration, many began to trust in him. 24 But Jesus didn’t trust them, because he knew all about people. 25 No one needed to tell him about human nature, for he knew what was in each person’s heart (John 2:23-25 NLT).

Filled with His Father’s love, Jesus could love furiously, expecting nothing in return.

Lord may this be me!

You Can’t Define my Value

A counselor once told my wife and me that receiving our value from others is like giving an empty box to someone else and asking them to tell you who you are and what value you have. I remember, at the time, realizing I was giving my boss that power. 😑

This is not good.

If someone sent me to an ant colony to rescue the queen from an anteater and return after completing the job, would I really care about the ants’ opinions of me during my stay?

No. My citizenship is not in the ant colony.

Being raised up with Christ [1], my citizenship is now in heaven [2], even as I continue my journey home.

Living out my True Identity

How does Jesus and His love for me free me from needing to win approval from people?

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love (John 15:9 NIV).

Jesus commands me to remain in His love, a love that surpasses my understanding.

According to scripture, I’ve done nothing to be placed in Christ and His love. [3]

My part is to stay where God has placed me.

But how? How do I remain in the love of Jesus, which frees me from needing the love and approval of others?

As I read further, I get my answer.

If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you (John 15:10-12 NIV).

Of all the commands mentioned in the Bible, Jesus settled in on one which summarizes them all. Our charge from Jesus is to love others as He has loved us.

We get a peak of this love in His washing of disciples’ feet, but this pales in what He did hours later. Jesus died on the cross in my stead to satisfy God’s wrath and to give me His righteousness.

This is the quality of love I’m to emulate. But this type of loving can only be achieved by His Spirit flowing through me.

If I focus on His incomparable love for me, rather than expecting a response from others, He allows me to travel in an eternal plain which frees me from needing anything from others.

Loving others as He’s loved me, allows me to remain in the flow of His love, and experience His complete Joy no matter what I experience on earth.

This unleashes me to love freely. No strings attached.

Prayer

Lord, You know I still struggle with judging my success by my perceived reaction from others. Thank You that You don’t give up on me in this regard. You want me free.

You are answering my prayers, showing me how silly it is to look to people for my worth. 

In You, I’m completely loved, completely forgiven, completely accomplished. [4] I lack nothing. Even if every person in the world despised me, I’m okay because You love me. 😁

Reflections

Dear reader. Perhaps you struggle with this along with me.

We’re loved by the Creator of the universe with an unimaginable love which knows no bounds. He’s invited us to swim in His great love.

Imagine His love being like an ocean, which is beyond measure in all directions. [5]

His love is deeper than any worldly pain.

His love fills us with complete Joy.

Have you, like me, handed your value box to someone else to tell you your worth?

We hand our value box to no one but the One who loved us and gave Himself up to set us free.

 I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me (Galatians 2:20).

The only person whose opinion counts looks at me and finds me more valuable than all the jewels in the world – Tim Keller

[1] Ephesians 2:6

[2] Ephesians 2:19

[3] I Corinthians 1:30

[4] Colossians 2:9-10

[5] Ephesians 3:16-19

Note: Unless otherwise noted, all referenced Scripture is from the NASB 1995 Version of the Bible.

Other posts in our Everlasting Way Series:

Learning How to Overcome Emotional Numbness

Embracing God’s Amazing Love

Are we More Like Batman or Spider-Man

Transforming Awareness: The Power of God’s Love

Minding Your Busyness

Our Deepest Longings Filled

Rules Don’t Rule

Mice in the Sock Drawer

Turning Gainers into Drainers

Until the Darkness Fades

Courage Rising

Recovering

Celebrating with Joy – In Memory of a Friend

Dying to Self

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 

Rob Buck

Nonfiction books by the Author:

This collection of devotionals chronicles a heartfelt journey from a life of striving and self-reliance to one of growing surrender and trust in God.

Through personal stories of family struggles, cancer, grief, and unexpected trials, the devotions show that true, unshakeable joy comes not from perfect circumstances, but from the constant, loving presence of Jesus Christ.

It’s an invitation to learn to let go of our burdens and find growing peace in God’s greater story.

Finding Joy in Life’s Moments

Because joy is rooted in God and is eternal, it doesn’t ebb and flow with the waves of circumstances. In fact, as we grow in our understanding of joy, we can even experience it more acutely when life is hard. Why? Because God uses trials to conform us into the image of Christ. With this awareness, which gives us glimpses of God’s greater purposes, we rejoice because of His masterful work to free us from needing anything but Him.

For these reasons, and many others, joy in the Lord is commanded in scripture. It’s not just a good idea, it’s vital to our journey as human beings. Rhythms of Joy

Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in an old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowingly set off a series of events which uncovers a plot to wipe out a whole family. Hope Remains

Please Check out the  Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

Dying to Self

Complete Joy, Our Greater, Unshakable Purpose

Repurposed. Exposing the Fragility of “normal” Agendas.

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A friend ended his job last year, but he didn’t retire. He called it repurposing. Being an extremely successful executive, he’s shifted his experiences and resources to helping the homeless. This current pandemic has disrupted daily routines and shaken our purposes. One man exclaimed, “No sports! What am supposed to do now?” Many have been forced to shift from the well-worn paths of familiar agendas. But while lesser purposes are crumbling an unshakable all satisfying purpose emerges.

Hours before Jesus would be crucified on our behalf, He said: “This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you.”[1]

He demonstrated this uncommon love earlier when he washed the disciples’ feet. Completely secure in His Father’s love, Jesus needed no affirmation from men. This allowed Him to feely wash Peter and Juda’s feet, whom He knew would soon deny and betray Him.

As followers of Jesus Christ, we are loved in this same complete way. He’s inviting us to settle in and remain in His great love: “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.” [2]

As we prepare to love like Jesus, we must start with resting in and feasting upon His love for us. “We love, because He first loved us.” [3]

A dear lady took this opportunity to write notes to older folks in our church. She included a verse (Psalm 34:4)  and comforting words of encouragement. God gave her the words to write. She offered her time and pen.

After she mailed them, folks began to contact her, sometimes in tears. Joy reigned. A friendship began.

Gladness continues to fill her heart, even though she had to be tested for the virus herself a few days later.

Her having such joy in loving others makes perfect sense. See what Jesus said about us to sacrificially love others: “These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full.” [4]

What if loving others is what life is really all about? What if we get a clearer vision of this greater purpose in these dire days? What if loving becomes our main daily agenda? What if “normal” activities are not the main thing, but the opportunity to bring us folks to love? What if we now understand we can have complete joy in spite of any circumstance?

God can and is using this virus for good in folk’s lives. Perhaps what seems like repurposing is really just leading us to our main purpose all along – knowing God’s love and giving it away?

Lord, the path ahead is unclear, yet You’re near. Even in uncertain times, You comfort, You guide, You gladden our hearts. Thank you for the joy I’m experiencing because of my union with You. Who do you want to love through me today?

[1] John 15:12 NASB

[2] John 15 9 NIV

[3] I John 4:19

[4] John 15:11 NASB

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures. Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 Novels by the Author:

Beyond Time

Hope Remains

Complete Joy, Completely Loved

The Joy of Decreasing

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Before he was thrown into prison and beheaded, John the Baptizer spoke into a dispute his disciples were having. They were bothered by the fact that folks were going to Jesus to be baptized instead of them. John told them, “A man can receive nothing unless it has been given him from heaven.”[1] He said, “I must decrease and He must increase” [2] He spoke of rejoicing and being full of joy in yielding his life to Jesus.[3]

As we yield our lives to the Lord, this frees us into the joy of caring for and focusing on others. In Philippians, Paul tells us to fight for the interest of others, to stop caring just for ourselves.[4] He says to pattern our lives after Jesus’ life, who emptied Himself and was obedient to the point of death on a cross.[5]

Then he writes, “But even if I am being poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrifice and service of your faith, I rejoice and share my joy with you all. You too, I urge you, rejoice in the same way and share your joy with me. (Philippians 2:17-18 NASB)

Being poured out – rejoicing and joy. We’re starting to see a pattern here.

In Romans 15, Paul challenges us not to live to please ourselves, but to patiently empower others.[6] He calls God a fountain of hope who fills us to overflowing with uncontainable joy and perfect peace as we trust our lives to Him.[7]

There’s overwhelming evidence that self-promotion, self-glorification, self-serving and self-effort is the antithesis of joy. God is calling us to pour our efforts towards others. This means we must trust ourselves to His care.

 Before Jesus washed the disciples’ feet, John gives us a peek into His thoughts. “Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come forth from God, and was going back to God, rose from supper, and laid aside His garments; and taking a towel, He girded Himself about.” (John 13:3-4 NASB)

Peter would deny Him and Judas would betray Him, yet Jesus washed all his disciples’ feet. He needed nothing from men. He trusted in His Father’s complete love. And this same love is available to us.

Jesus tells us, “Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love.” (John 15:10-12 NIV)

Jesus tells us how to remain in the Lord’s love and how to complete our joy. As you might guess, it has to do with loving and caring for others.

 If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. (John 15:10-12 NIV)

Following Jesus’ example of trusting His Father’s complete love and loving others sacrificially fills us to the brim with the Joy of Jesus.

Joy doesn’t come from promoting ourselves. It comes from trusting, from yielding, from decreasing, from loving others because our life belongs to God.

The Kingdom of God flows in opposition to the world. The world says – look out for yourself, seek your happiness and you’ll be satisfied. Jesus says empty yourself and trust your Father with your well-being. Serve others sacrificially and your Joy will be complete.

[1] John 3:27b

[2] John 3:30

[3] John 3:29

[4] Philippians 2:3-4

[5] Philippians 2:5-8

[6] Romans 15:1-2 TPT

[7] Romans 15:13 TPT

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures. Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post once a week. Thank you for reading. 

Novels by the Author:

Beyond Time

Hope Remains

Eternal Joy, God's Greater Purposes

Done Trying to Fix Life? (Embrace God’s Greater Story)

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Lost in a Temporary World

Have you ever been so into watching a movie or TV series you forgot about the ‘real world’ for a while? I suppose that’s part of the appeal. For a period of time we can get so lost in what’s happening on the other side of a screen, we forget about the duties and challenges we’ll face when we’re done. Or maybe we’ll watch another episode.

First Thing Happiness 

In his book, A Different Kind of Happiness,[1] Larry Crabb awakens us to the fact that we’re all part of an eternal reality which supersedes what goes on before our eyes. This larger story, orchestrated by God, will not be thwarted. Crabb calls us to stop focusing on the temporary world and our endless pursuit of happiness. He calls this kind of circumstantial happiness – second thing happiness.

Rather he urges us to travel the narrow road of seeking what he calls first thing happiness or joy. First thing happiness is unaffected by how our lives are going because it flows from God’s larger story. He says loving like Jesus is what keeps us in the flow of God’s greater purposes.

“Loving like Jesus, self-sacrificially and not self protectively, produces first thing happiness.”[2]

Loving Like Jesus 

The night before He was crucified, Jesus demonstrated His love by washing the disciples’ feet, a duty typically done by the servants of the house. Jesus even washed the feet of Judas and Peter, whom He knew would betray and deny Him. Later that same night, He gave one command, which if we obey it, will keep us in His love and complete our joy.

9 “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you (John 15:9-12 NIV).

There are amazing facts in these verses:

  • Jesus loves us as much as God loves Him (Verse 9)
  • Jesus commands us to remain in His love, then he tells us how (Verse 9, 10,12)
  • Jesus says if we love others as He’s loved us, we’ll remain in His love (Verses 10,12)
  • Jesus says these things to give us His Joy and to make our joy complete (Verse 11)

In Summary 

If we love others sacrificially, as Jesus has loved us, we’ll experience His joy, a joy not based on circumstances, a joy fueled by His love.

Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God (Hebrews 12:2b NASB).

As Crabb puts it:[3]

  • Determine to walk life on the narrow road, not focusing on temporary happiness.
  • Live your life in the larger story of what God’s doing
  • Engage the battle for a better love, loving as Jesus has loved us
  • Look at life from above the sun, not from under the sun

The way Paul states this last point is: Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory (Colossians 3:1-4 NASB).

See II Corinthian 4:16-18 for another great example of living in God’s larger story.

Personal Experience 

These rhythms of focusing on God’s eternal story and not being so concerned with my own happiness has been a real paradigm shift in my life. I have a long way to go, but the shift is gaining traction. What helps is when my focus and prayer of the day is, Lord, who do you want to love through me today?

Throughout these days I can be tempted to leave this focus and go back to fighting for smooth circumstances and pleasant moments. However, when, by the abiding Holy Spirit, I keep the duties as the second thing and focus on the people, the results are most encouraging.

Through this evolving process, trusting in God’s sovereignty and His greater purposes produces growing hope and joy, even during personal difficulties.

And, not having to fight for own my happiness is extremely freeing.

As this new journey on the narrow road unfolds, the duties are not the main thing, but the pathways to the people God wants to love through me. The difficulties bring me into the flow of God’s larger story of freeing every human heart to find satisfaction and contentment in Christ alone.

[1]Larry Crabb,  A Different Kind of Happiness (Baker Books, 2016)

[2] Ibid, p 21

[3] Ibid, p 222

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 Novels by the Author:

Rob Buck

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in a old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains

Joyful Heart

Joy – Nectar for our Hearts

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It was the night before he would be cruelly murdered. He knew it, but they had no idea. To them what Jesus did was unheard of. He washed their smelly, grimy feet, a chore traditionally performed only by slaves. Peter was so shocked he almost refused it. But this sacrificial act of service began a demonstration of Christ’s love which would culminate with the sacrifice of his very life the next day.

After his betrayer left, Jesus said, “A new commandment I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”[1]

Later that night, as he made his way to the garden of tears, he unveiled his love in words, “As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you. Now remain in my love.”[2]

He went on to explain that if we love others with the same sacrificial love he demonstrated towards us, we would remain in his love. This establishes the great cadence of the Christian life, receiving Christ’s love and giving it away. After all, we only love because he first loved us.[3]

Then Jesus makes a connection between love and joy, “I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.”[4]

Jesus wrote these very important things about love for the purpose of our joy. He’s basically telling us that if we focus on loving others as he’s loved us, we’ll have the joy our hearts crave.

As with our physical hearts, our spiritual hearts are vital to our health. We get our word “courage” from the French word for heart – “cour”. Without a vibrant inner heart we become “dis-couraged” and life becomes drudgery.

What’s the key to a healthy spiritual heart?

Consider the ancient proverb, “A joyful heart brightens one’s face, but a troubled heart breaks the spirit.”[5]

Our hearts were designed to run on joy. When we’re joyful, our inner core[6] is bright, otherwise, our spirits are broken.

Whether we realize it or not, we’re all searching for joy. We were designed for it.[7] But sustained joy can’t be found in worldly affections or smooth circumstances. Lasting joy, producing a vibrant, “en-couraged” heart, can only be found in nearness to God.

David wrote of God: “in your presence is fullness of joy”[8]

Joy is more than a “nice to have” add on to life. It’s fuel for the soul. Jesus wants us to have complete joy. It’s essential to our spiritual health and vital for the courage we need to face the moments of our lives.

Do you want joy?

Jesus tells you how to stay connected with his love and how to have his joy:

love others as he’s loved you.[9]

 

 

“for the joy of the Lord is your strength” Nehemiah 8:10b

[1] John 13:34 (NIV)

[2] John 15:9 (NIV)

[3] I John 4:19 (NASB)

[4] John 15:11 (NIV)

[5] Proverbs 15:13 (CEB)

[6] From the Latin for heart – “cor”

[7] Ecclesiastes 3:11

[8] Psalm 16:11 (ESV)

[9] John 15:12 (NASB)

Remain in His Love

Loving Without Expecting Anything in Return

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A few years ago, my oldest son Jonathan and I were tending a burn pile down by the barn. As we sat in camping chairs, water hose ready, watching the dried limbs and brush blaze, he had something to tell me that was very hard to hear.

As my eyes followed a black ember dancing upward in the billows of smoke, he said, “Dad, growing up I felt as if you cared more about the relationship than you did about me.” He went on to explain that he knew I loved him, but he could tell I cared a lot about being viewed as a successful Father.

Jonathan’s words pierced my heart. At that time my identity was very closely tied to success in all my roles. I feared failing as a husband, father, provider, brother and friend. This is exactly what he was pointing out to me. My love was not pure. I needed to know I was doing a good job and depended on the response of others for assurance and validation.

My conversation with Jonathan was very hard, but it was exactly what I needed.  I’m so glad he cared enough about our relationship to point out how he was feeling. His honesty helped me understand that I loved with a selfish love, expecting something in return.  I thanked him for his boldness and sincerely apologized. I asked God to heal this part of me which craved affirmation and the approval of others.

God has and is answering my prayer. I’m now much freer to love others with the sacrificial love of Jesus, but I also know He’s not through with me yet. At times, I still find myself expecting certain responses from others as I seek to love them.

My prayer is that I will love others as Christ loves me, not with a faulty human love, but with the love of His Indwelling Holy Spirit.

Consider the following verses:

Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come forth from God and was going back to God,  gets up from supper, and lays aside His garments; and taking a towel, He girded Himself.  Then He pours water into the basin, and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded. John 13:3-5

Right before Jesus performs a service, done normally only by slaves, John, inspired by the Holy Spirit, gives us a peak into Jesus’ mind:

Jesus knew who He was and where He came from.  Jesus is the Son of God. His Father sent Him forth, giving all things into His hands so that He could rescue us and restore us to right relationship with God. Jesus didn’t need anything from those He came to rescue. He was completely filled with His Father’s love.

If we were sent to an ant colony to rescue the queen from an anteater, to return when the job was done, would we really care what the ants thoughts of us while we were there? No, we could care less how the ants felt, we were visiting from another place.

As believers, our citizenship is in heaven. Like Jesus, our true home is not this world. We are free to love others as Christ has loved us, needing nothing in return.

For our citizenship is in heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ; Philippians 3:20

Because this world is what we see, it’s easy for us to operate on its terms, looking to society to tell us how we’re doing. But consider the following amazing fact, spoken by Jesus concerning you and me.

Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; Remain in My love. John 15:9

Jesus loves us just as much as God the Father loves Him. Let this soak in before you read on.

Ours is to remain in this great love, a love we did nothing to deserve to begin with. Remaining in the love of Jesus allows us to love freely as He did.

If we remain saturated in the love of Christ, untethered from the need for human validation and approval, we love freely, expecting nothing in return.

But how do we remain in His love? Read the following verses carefully for the answer.

If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full. This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. John 15:10-12

We remain in His love, by loving others as He has loved us. His love flowing through us, completes our Joy. Our life becomes a continual rhythm of receiving His love and giving it away. Free to love because He loves us..

  • Jesus loves us as much as God loves Him
  • We can do nothing apart from Jesus, including loving others

Challenge: Think about a time recently when a person didn’t respond to your love as you would have desired; a time when your feelings were hurt or when you found yourself fishing for a response.

Ask the Lord to wash away your expectations and hurt in His great love. Ask him to open the eyes of your heart that you might get a glimpse of how much God loves you. His love is wider and deeper and longer and higher than your mind can understand. But His can speak to our hearts and reveal His ocean of love.

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:14-19