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Relationship

Discipleship Rhythms: Rules Don’t Rule Us

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Why Relationship must Proceed Rules.

At that time Jesus went through the grain fields on the Sabbath, and His disciples became hungry and began to pick the heads of grain and eat. But when the Pharisees saw this, they said to Him, “Look, Your disciples do what is not lawful to do on a Sabbath.” But He said to them, “Have you not read what David did when he became hungry, he and his companions, how he entered the house of God, and they ate the consecrated bread, which was not lawful for him to eat nor for those with him, but for the priests alone? Or have you not read in the Law, that on the Sabbath the priests in the temple break the Sabbath and are innocent? But I say to you that something greater than the temple is here. But if you had known what this means, ‘I desire compassion, and not a sacrifice,’ you would not have condemned the innocent.  For the Son of Man is Lord of the Sabbath.” (Matthew 12:1-8 NASB)

We’ve heard about it in parenting. Rules without relationship leads to rebellion. Life and joy flow from relational connection. Without it, the heart groans.

Story

In the south, we tend to all call ourselves Christian, without really knowing what it means.  Growing up, I was no different. On Sunday mornings, my sister, brother and I  would cut the volume way down on our 4 channel, rabbit ear bearing television. The plan was to stay quiet enough not to wake Mom. If we made it until Rocky and Bullwinkle came on, we were safe. There wouldn’t be enough time to get dressed and ready for church. Mom didn’t like to be late.

My dislike of church wasn’t helped by the fact that we lived very close to a fundamental Christian college. Some of the kids who lived there attended my elementary school. I judged them for the way they looked and acted. They dressed so prim and proper.  And, because they didn’t join in our mischievous ideas of fun, they seemed stuffy and joyless. I felt judged by them. But looking back, I was the one who was doing the judging.

In my eyes, they were a “born again,”  “holier than thou” brand of Christianity I wanted no part of. Besides, I  “believed” in Jesus. I’d tried to live a good live. I hadn’t murdered anyone or robbed a bank. I figured my slot in heaven was secure, since my good deeds surely outweighed the bad. At least that was my thinking. 

While in college, I became convinced that my pursuit of joy in earthly treasures would always leave me empty. My best friend talked to me about giving my life to Jesus. But I didn’t understand why Christ would accept me because of my party lifestyle.  My friend said He would. He asked me if I took a shower before I took a bath. He said I didn’t need to clean my life up to come to Jesus. 

This kind of grace seemed so foreign. Nevertheless, in 1977, I bent the knee and surrendered, best I knew how, to Jesus Christ as my Lord. I understood that at that point He took up resident in my heart by His Holy Spirit [1], but my life did not change for some time.

I believe my conversion to be genuine, but I really had no idea how to follow Jesus as His disciple. What I saw around me was much like the kids I’d avoided in elementary school; folks trying hard to follow rules they read about in the Bible. If we struggled, we read more scripture and kept striving. I’m sure most of us felt exhausted, but nobody let on. 

In 1985, things began to change. Susan and Louis Sutton, a couple in our church, asked my wife and I to be a part of a fellowship group. For about three years, before they began their missionary work in Chad, we did life together with them. During that time, I began to understand how completely different Christianity is from how I was living it.

I’d let following the rules become the most important thing and I’d missed the relationship with Jesus.

Though it took years for the truth to become a heart reality, the Suttons showed us that Christianity, at it’s essence, is about a relationship with Jesus, not following rules. The other stuff, the loving, the holy living, the following Jesus, would flow out of my relationship with Him. 

Putting the Cart Before the Horse

We’ve heard the saying putting the cart before the horse. Picture it a moment. The cart is first and the horse is behind it. How are we supposed to get anywhere? Does the horse push the cart?

As ridiculous as this sounds, putting following the rules before our relationship with Jesus is just as ridiculous.  Though I knew the truth in my heart, my life long tendency to earn my value by what I did, translated into my Christian life. After all, I had to accomplish good grades to pass in school. I had to perform well in the tryouts to make the little league team. I had to pass the required skills in scouts to move to the next class, etc. Though I knew Jesus’ record of perfection and His substitution for me on the cross is what brought me into God’s Kingdom, I had a hard time truly believing my efforts did not secure my status with God.

This was my experience before we met the Suttons and my perspective began to change. 

Rules can never pull the horse. The horse (our relationship with God, paid for by Jesus Christ) empowers our ability to follow Jesus as His disciples.

Righteousness is not because of anything we’ve done, but all because of Christ’s work on our behalf.

As we focus on our relationship with Jesus, not on keeping rules for Him, we begin to follow, out of love for Him, empowered by His Spirit.

Practice the Rhythm

Paul warned the Galatians about adopting a gospel of trying harder. 

I am amazed that you are so quickly deserting Him who called you by the grace of Christ, for a different gospel; which is really not another; only there are some who are disturbing you and want to distort the gospel of Christ. (Galatians 1:6-7 NASB)

Galatians 2:21 speaks of how ridiculous it is to try and keep the law to earn our righteousness.

I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness comes through the Law, then Christ died needlessly (NASB).

Don’t move quickly past the meaning of this verse. Would we, by striving to follow the rules to earn our right standing, be so foolish? If we do, Christ died and suffered needlessly.

We must be vigilant in our thinking. Does reading the Bible, serving at church, talking about Jesus, make us any closer to God? It’s very subtle. We must keep seeking to live in the flow of the Rivers of Living Water, [2] not in the dry and dusty land of self effort. All our exhausting, self motivated rule keeping is worth nothing. [3]

Prayer

Lord, please show me quickly when I once again lead with rule following as opposed to allowing what I say and do to flow from my relationship with You. You’ve called me to fiercely love all the folks you’ve put in my life, no matter how they treat me. I can’t do that if I cut off the flow of Your love by trying to follow rules in my own strength. I resolve to wait for You, to yield to You and to allow You to love through me.

[1] Ephesians 1:13-14

[2] John 7:37-39

[3] John 15:5

Previous posts in our From Duty to Delight Series:

Discipleship Rhythms: From Duty to Delight

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Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

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 Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in a old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains

God is our Hope

Dead Bugs on the Windshield

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The clouds opened up and the rain poured.

We sure need it, thought Peter as he stared at the drops disappearing into his brown, parched back yard grass. Looking out his porch screen, he noticed the holes.

There were a hundred things  needing to be done between the house repairs, his duties at work and his other responsibilities. Peter was completely overwhelmed.

To him, life was one big problem. He didn’t even know where to begin. Exhausted, he laid down on the chaise lounge  and shut his eyes. Before long, he was asleep and began dreaming.

In his  dream, Peter was driving  a convertible in the mountains. Around a curve,  he came upon a lake nestled in a valley between rolling hills of lush meadows and trees. Peter gasped at the  beauty and pulled into an overlook parking area to take in the view.

The sun was low in the sky and the colors of the sunset were beginning to dance across the lake. Peter reclined his seat. The air was cool. The wind gently slapped his face and he detected a sent of mountain laurel. The more Peter pondered the scene, the deeper and richer the splendor appeared.

In his spirit, Peter knew he was looking at  heaven. He felt a  deep security and hope. The problems, which  had seemed so gigantic moment ago were like nothing compared to the beauty and magnificent splendor before him.

The rich implications of being a child of God began to flood his heart. He realized, as never before, how unbelievably awesome it is to have been forgiven of all his wrongs.

He had done nothing to earn God’s love. God loved him with an eternal love, unaffected by life. Joy and peace welled up into euphoria.  He just laid there soaking it all in, like parched, cracked soil drinks in an early morning rain.

Peter was not sure how long he lay in bliss, but before long and very slowly at first, he began to notice tiny specs on the windshield of his car; little bits of dirt, smudges and dead bugs. He hadn’t noticed them before, but as he shortened his focus he could see them clearly. The closer he looked, the more he saw. Soon the imperfections began to distract him from his appreciation of the grandeur he had been enjoying.

He tried to ignore the windshield, but before long he had been completely overtaken by the details of the mess in front of him. The reality of the brilliance beyond the windshield had been lost.

Suddenly a voice came from the seat beside him.

“What happen, Peter?”

Startled, Peter turned to see a man dressed in a white suit seated beside him in the car.

“How long have you been sitting there?” asked Peter.

“The whole time.”

“How did you get here?”

“It doesn’t matter, Peter.

Why did you take your eyes off of what you were looking at; the reality beyond and what has been done for you? You were focusing on truth and hope and enjoying your inheritance as a son, but then you chose to stop looking at it. Why did you  start focusing on the things close up on the windshield?” The man asked.

“Who are you?”

“I’m a messenger, Peter.

Why did you start focusing on the windshield? That stuff was there the whole time you know.”

“I don’t know?” Peter explained. “I  began to notice how dirty it was. There’s so much needing to be cleaned.”

“Is that your goal, Peter, to have a clean windshield?

You’re forgetting something very important. How did you feel when you were focusing on what was beyond the windshield?”

“It was the most unbelievable feeling I’ve ever had!” Peter exclaimed, a great big smile returning to his face as he recalled it.

“Everything about this world seemed insignificant! My problems and obligations were like little bits of sand on the floor.

All that seemed important was the splendor beyond the windshield. I wanted my family and others to see and experience it.”

“That’s good, Peter,” said the man. “That’s exactly what you should have been feeling. But then something changed. You began to believe a lie that has haunted you.”

“What lie?” Peter asked.

“You began to believe  that the way you handle your cares and problems can change God’s love for you.

Did you really think a few dead bugs on your windshield could effect all that brilliance?

You fell for one of the greatest deceptions the enemy uses to rob God’s sons and daughters of their joy and strength.

All he has to do is to get you to take your eyes off the marvelous truths of the gospel for a moment and to begin to focus  on your problems. Before long, you think  it’s all up to them again. You start living like an orphan and your joy is zapped..”

“But we have problems and obligations. We can’t just ignore them, right?” questioned Peter.

“That’s right, Peter. We can’t just ignore them. But if your goal is carefree living, you’re in for a weary journey of endless striving.

Can you prevent bugs from running into your windshield and dying? Can you prevent dust and dirt and rain?”

“No.”

“Of course you can’t! Dead bugs end up on the windshields of life. Until you realize your goal is not to prevent them, you won’t  see them in the proper light. Does that make sense, Peter?”

“I think so”, said Peter. “But I certainly can’t just ignore all this stuff. How do I look at this filth?”

“Peter, when you were looking at the mountains and the lake, were the smudges and dirt and dead bugs on your windshield?”

“Well, yea. I think so.”

“Look at the mountains again, Peter. Tell me if you still see the smudges?”

“No, not while I’m focusing on heaven, I mean the mountains.”

“Now, look back at the windshield again and pick one of the worse dead bugs, the one you think should be cleaned off first.”

“OK, I’m looking at it. It’s that one, next to the rear view mirror.”

“Good. Keep your eyes on that bug, but begin to focus on the mountains again. And tell me what happens to the bug and the mountains?”

“Well, the bug seems really small and insignificant when I focus on what’s beyond the windshield. And when I focus on the beauty beyond, but still have the bug in sight, the mountains and lake seem even richer than before. Why’s that?”

“Peter, beauty is magnificent to gaze upon, but it’s even more marvelous when seen in light of something not so wonderful.”

“I can’t believe it!” exclaimed Peter. “You mean all this time I was fighting and striving and working myself weary to prevent these dead bugs and this dirt from landing on my windshield. And all along, they were going to end up there whether I wanted them to or not?

And not only that, the very things I was striving against the wind to prevent are the very things that God is using to help me focus on his truths more deeply?”

“Amazing, isn’t it Peter,” said the man.

“Yea.” said Peter. “But what should my goal be if it’s not to reduce the problems in my life?

“Great question Peter, but I think you already know the answer. What do you think your goal should be?” asked the man.

“Well,” said Peter.  “All I can think about is what I was experiencing before I noticed the bugs on the windshield. My mind was filled with thoughts about God and how much He has done for me and how much He loves me. I was amazed at the fact that He actually sent his son to die for me, so that I could become one of His children.

All I could think about was how I wanted to be the best child I could be for him. I wanted to please Him in my role  husband, father and friend.”

“Peter, you’ve answered your own question. The longings you have, while focusing on Jesus and his great love for you, become your goal in life, nothing else.”

“But what about the bugs?” pressed Peter.

“You can view them in two different ways,” said the man. “You can view them only as problems and obligations, there to weigh you down. Or, in light of your goal of pleasing your Father, you can develop a passion for serving Him in everything He calls you to do, including approaching the dead bugs that go along with living on this side of the windshield.

Having a passion and resolve to give God glory in all  you do, can unmask the problems. You can then see them clearly for what they really are, little dead bugs and dirt on a windshield, having no effect on the marvelous truths beyond.”

Peter seemed to understand. He was looking again at the brilliance beyond the windshield.

“Peter.” The man said.

“Yes.” Peter looked over at the messenger.

“There’s one more thing I need to tell you.

No matter how many dead bugs and how much dirt and grim which lands on your windshield; and no matter how ugly the mess appears, never, ever think that it’s all up to you to take care of it by yourself.

Remember; the richness of your inheritance. When you were adopted as a child of God, you received the full rights of a child; the wonderful hope of heaven beyond the windshield. But not only that Peter, God gave you something for now.

When you became His son, God came to live inside of you in the form of His Holy Spirit. This is an unbelievable truth! God does not expect you to take care of all this mess alone. God Himself indwells you.  He wants you to depend on Him to work in you to handle every dead bug.”

Peter smiled. Already he was seeing the mess in front of him in a different light. He had the power of the universe inside of him, ready to show forth in strength at each and every opportunity.

Peter looked at the man, but he was gone. Without a second thought, Peter turned his focus again to the soothing, powerful, peaceful truth beyond the windshield.

Meanwhile, back on the porch, Peter’s 8-year old daughter Lisa came crashing through the door to the porch.

“Daddy!”

“Wha, Wha What’s going on? Oh hey sweetie. I was asleep. Is any thing wrong?”

“No Daddy, not really, well yea, we had an accident. Randy had an accident.”

“Is he OK? Is he hurt!”

“He’s not hurt Daddy, but he’s scared. He caused an awful mess! We were trying to reach a game on our closet shelf and we couldn’t reach it. Randy brought in Mom’s paint cans from the bathroom and stacked them up so he could reach it. He was able to get the game, but then he lost his balance and fell. One of the cans came open and blue paint got all over the carpet.

Seeing Peter’s look, Lisa stepped back. “But, we cleaned most of it up Daddy!  Please don’t get mad at him. He didn’t mean to!”

Peter could feel the pressure mount. He could never fully clean blue paint from the carpet and he had no money to spare to get it professionally cleaned or to replace it.

Add it to the list, he thought. One more thing for him to do, one more. Peter stopped in mid thought, paused, then continued his thinking. One more dead bug on the windshield. One more opportunity to see the beauties of God’s truth through a stained carpet bug on the windshield. One more opportunity to see God work in me to handle this challenge of life.

Peter looked at Lisa. He could tell she was scared and worried. “Where is Randy?” he asked.

“He’s hiding Daddy! He’s scared of what you’ll do.”

“Let’s go find him. I’m not mad. I know it was an accident.”

Peter found Randy huddled in the pantry, terrified and sobbing. His bottom lip was trembling as he cried. When he saw Peter a look of terror filled his eyes.

“Randy, it’s OK!” Peter assured him. And then their eyes met. Instead of the anger and rage he was expecting, Randy saw something else in his daddy’s eyes.

“Come on Randy, we’ll figure out a way to clean it up.”

Peter reached out his hand and Randy took it. They walked out to the porch, Lisa following.  They all crawled into the chaise lounge where  they hung out for the longest time,  laughing and enjoying each other until the sun started setting and mom called them in for dinner.