selfless love

And her husband Joseph, since he was a righteous man and did not want to disgrace her, planned to send her away secretly (Matthew 1:19 NASB).

As we follow Jesus, it’s encouraging to see human examples of sacrificial love lived out for us to imitate. With this is mind, let’s take a closer look at the life of Joseph, husband of Mary and earthly father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

What we Know about Joseph

At the beginning of his gospel, Matthew scribes Joseph’s lineage from Abraham, through David, Solomon and Hezekiah. We know he was the son of Jacob and a carpenter by trade.

When Joseph learned of Mary’s pregnancy, before he knew she was with child by the Holy Spirit, he chose not to accuse her or disgrace her, but to divorce her quietly. He was a righteous man. [1]

He was visited by an angel in a dream and instructed to not fear, but to take Mary as his wife. When he was told she had been conceived by the Holy Spirit and that her son would be named Jesus, Joseph trusted and obeyed. [2]

To honor what was happening, Joseph kept Mary a virgin until Jesus was born. [3]

Because Joseph was from the line of David, he traveled from Galilee to Bethlehem to register in the census ordered by Quirinus. While there, Joseph sought for a place for Mary to have her baby. Since there were no vacancies, Joseph secured shelter for her in a stable. When Jesus was born, He was laid in a manger. [4]

Joseph obeyed God’s command and named the boy Jesus. After eight days, Joseph had Jesus circumcised. Later he brought his son to the temple to be presented to God. [5]

After the magi from the east arrived and presented their gifts, Joseph was warned in a dream to flee to Egypt because Herod was a threat to Jesus. Joseph obeyed and escaped by night with the Child and His mother. [6]

Joseph loved and supported his family. The last we hear of him was when Jesus was twelve year old and taken to Jerusalem to celebrate the Feast of the Passover. [7]

Looking at Joseph’s life, three aspects of love emerge worth imitating:

Unoffendable Love
Selfless Love
Protective Love

Unoffendable Love

One of the most difficult heart breaks we face is when our love is betrayed or rejected. From first hand experience, this sadness has the potential of spinning our lives out of orbit and shaking our foundation. I can only imagine how Joseph must have felt when Mary showed up pregnant after visiting her cousin Elizabeth. What deep betrayal he must have felt! Yet, he responded in love. Joseph could have accused Mary, which may have led to her stoning. Instead, he planned to end the relationship quietly, not putting her to shame.

Loving as Joseph did required an awareness of a greater, eternal love which doesn’t fade and holds beneath the veil. Joseph loved Mary, but He loved God more. He was able to respond to her apparent betrayal with an eternal love only God could have given him.

We don’t know exactly how long before Joseph heard the truth from the angel. In the meantime, I feel sure Joseph cried out to his Comforter to draw near to sooth his aching heart. Our Father is the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our afflictions. [8]

Selfless love is loving others in spite of what it costs us. It’s what Joseph did when he showed grace to Mary. He would continue from there, sacrificially caring for his family from Galilee to Bethlehem to Egypt to Nazareth, for as long as he lived.

Selfless love is what Jesus demonstrated for us on the cross. It’s how husbands are to love their wives, sacrificially, considering them and loving them before their own needs.

But selfless love is not confined to marriage. Paul urges all believers to “regard one another as more important than himself.” [9] He goes on to tell us to be like Jesus who “emptied Himself, taking the form of a bondservant.” [10]

This kind of love, which puts the needs of others first, can’t be accomplished outside of reliance upon the Holy Spirit. To love this way requires walking in newness of life and continually putting off our old ways of thinking.

Protective Love

Joseph found himself in a very demanding situation. Jesus was no ordinary Child he was assigned to father. But he continually put the needs of Mary and his family over his own interests. He also had to protect them against any harm. Like a night watchman, constantly surveying the horizon for threats, Joseph was alert to protecting his vulnerable family.

He found a place for the baby to lay when the inn was full. He led his family in their night escape to Egypt. From there he took them to Nazareth because a threat remained.

Loving in a protective way requires putting others first. It takes a willingness to do whatever it takes for the safety and well being of others.

Jesus willingly gave up His life to protect us from eternal separation from God. And He wants us to love others with the same kind of love: This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you (John 15:12 NASB)

Challenge

As you look at Joseph’s life, what aspect of how he loved stands out?

Has your heart been broken? Call out to the Comforter to draw near and sooth your deep pain. Will you respond to the offender like Joseph did?

Do you find yourself always fighting for what you want? Try laying aside your desires and seeking the interest of others first.

Be aware of the dangers in the lives of those you love. Be a protector, beginning with prayer. Our enemy, the devil is a roaring lion, ever seeking to destroy. [11] Continually present them to our Loving Shepherd, the true Protector of the sheep.

Prayer

Lord, as I look at Joseph’s life, I want to love like him. But I’m weak. I know I can only love others in these ways by depending on Your Holy Spirit within me. Please help me to abide in You.

I only love because You love me. Please destroy any lies or speculations which block me from fully knowing and walking in Your love.

Please show me how to love the people in my path.

May the words of my mouth be Your words. My my deeds be supplied by Your strength.

May You always be glorified by my life.

Amen.

[1] Matthew 1:19

[2] Matthew 1:20-24

[3] Matthew 1:25

[4] Luke 2:1-7

[5] Luke 2:21-24

[6] Matthew 2:13-14

[7] Luke 2:41-52

[8] II Corinthians 1:3-5

[9] Philippians 2:3b

[10] Philippians 2:7b

[11] I Peter 5:8

Previous posts in the series – Our Highest Joy:

Unmasking the Lie

Dealing with sadness and disappointment

Eternal Thanksgiving

Fueled by the Joy of Jesus

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

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Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for? Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in a old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains

A few years ago, my oldest son Jonathan and I were tending a burn pile down by the barn. As we sat in camping chairs, water hose ready, watching the dried limbs and brush blaze, he had something to tell me that was very hard to hear.

As my eyes followed a black ember dancing upward in the billows of smoke, he said, “Dad, growing up I felt as if you cared more about the relationship than you did about me.” He went on to explain that he knew I loved him, but he could tell I cared a lot about being viewed as a successful Father.

Jonathan’s words pierced my heart. At that time my identity was very closely tied to success in all my roles. I feared failing as a husband, father, provider, brother and friend. This is exactly what he was pointing out to me. My love was not pure. I needed to know I was doing a good job and depended on the response of others for assurance and validation.

My conversation with Jonathan was very hard, but it was exactly what I needed. I’m so glad he cared enough about our relationship to point out how he was feeling. His honesty helped me understand that I loved with a selfish love, expecting something in return. I thanked him for his boldness and sincerely apologized. I asked God to heal this part of me which craved affirmation and the approval of others.

God has and is answering my prayer. I’m now much freer to love others with the sacrificial love of Jesus, but I also know He’s not through with me yet. At times, I still find myself expecting certain responses from others as I seek to love them.

My prayer is that I will love others as Christ loves me, not with a faulty human love, but with the love of His Indwelling Holy Spirit.

Consider the following verses:

Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come forth from God and was going back to God, gets up from supper, and lays aside His garments; and taking a towel, He girded Himself. Then He pours water into the basin, and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded. John 13:3-5

Right before Jesus performs a service, done normally only by slaves, John, inspired by the Holy Spirit, gives us a peak into Jesus’ mind:

Jesus knew who He was and where He came from. Jesus is the Son of God. His Father sent Him forth, giving all things into His hands so that He could rescue us and restore us to right relationship with God. Jesus didn’t need anything from those He came to rescue. He was completely filled with His Father’s love.

If we were sent to an ant colony to rescue the queen from an anteater, to return when the job was done, would we really care what the ants thought of us while we were there? No, we could care less how the ants felt, we were visiting from another place.

As believers, our citizenship is in heaven. Like Jesus, our true home is not this world. We are free to love others as Christ has loved us, needing nothing in return.

For our citizenship is in heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ; Philippians 3:20

Because this world is what we see, it’s easy for us to operate on its terms, looking to society to tell us how we’re doing. But consider the following amazing fact, spoken by Jesus concerning you and me.

Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; Remain in My love. John 15:9

Jesus loves us just as much as God the Father loves Him. Let this soak in before you read on.

Ours is to remain in this great love, a love we did nothing to deserve to begin with. Remaining in the love of Jesus allows us to love freely as He did.

If we remain saturated in the love of Christ, untethered from the need for human validation and approval, we love freely, expecting nothing in return.

But how do we remain in His love? Read the following verses carefully for the answer.

If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full. This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. John 15:10-12

We remain in His love, by loving others as He has loved us. His love flowing through us, completes our Joy. Our life becomes a continual rhythm of receiving His love and giving it away. Free to love because He loves us..

Jesus loves us as much as God loves Him
We can do nothing apart from Jesus, including loving others

Challenge: Think about a time recently when a person didn’t respond to your love as you would have desired; a time when your feelings were hurt or when you found yourself fishing for a response.

Ask the Lord to wash away your expectations and hurt in His great love. Ask him to open the eyes of your heart that you might get a glimpse of how much God loves you. His love is wider and deeper and longer and higher than your mind can understand. But His can speak to our hearts and reveal His ocean of love.

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:14-19

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Our Highest Joy (Loving Like Joe)