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Eternal Gladness, Joy in Trials

Can We be Sad and Glad at the Same Time?

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Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that you have broken rejoice (Psalm 51:8 ESV)

It’s Sunday afternoon and I’m basking in the unwavering truth that God has made me glad. In spite of life’s despairs, eternal joy cheers my heart, but this perspective doesn’t come naturally.

The temperature is 97, but I prefer our shaded porch at the edge of the forest. At least for now, Lily, our little shih apso, chooses to be with me over the air conditioning on the other side of the door. As mentioned in a previous post, my challenge is to rejoice each day inspite of situations which threaten my gladness. I know from my reader’s comments that I’m not alone. If we live long enough, we all face dire times which stretch our faith.

Jesus said it: I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world. (John 16:33 ESV)

No one goes through life unscathed. But trials can be more than something to endure. They can have real purpose.

I pause and allow the rhythmic, cascading flow in our water garden to wash my soul and remind me of the Lord’s constant love and presence. I admire the pink, green and white plants my wife and I added beside the pool. Fans above and in front of me yield a cooling breeze which cuts the heat. Beholding my surroundings reminds me that God’s created things are physical extensions of His Glory to be savored. I rest in the joy of His presence.

Peter, a hero of mine, who wrestled to fully surrendering himself to God, speaks of some amazing eternal truths which bring great joy:[1]

  • We have a Living Hope
  • Our inheritance is safely stowed away, beyond the possibility of corruption
  • We are currently surrounded by the powerful protection of God

Speaking of these he says, “In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ; and though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, (I Peter 1:6-8 NASB)

These eternal truths stabilize our hearts even though we may be distressed (made sorrowful) by various trials (provings).

God is at work in our sorrow, inviting us to press into Him more vigorously, by faith. As we do, we realize joy is never dependent on our circumstances.

James agrees with Peter – “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing”(James 1:2-4 NASB)

Having joy in trials seems so wrong, but if the trials can add some lasting, eternal understanding and deepen our faith, would our sufferings be  worth it? Could we get to the point James is talking about where we lack nothing because we live with Jesus, our Eternal Joy. I’m starting to believe so. See what I wrote in my journal a couple of weeks ago:

May 11, 2019 – I was getting ready to go to bed when a truth I've believed in my head became a reality in my heart. In other words, it went from head knowledge to life knowledge. These extremely difficult times the last few years really have deepened me. I've been forced to come to terms with my emotions and to explore some core level areas with God. He's traveled with me as deep as I've ventured, exposing pain and deep lies He's wanted to heal. I ask Him to go deeper still, as far as He wants to go to keep me focused on what He wants in my life and the lives of those around me. He is my Joy. I need nothing else.
As I pondered what I just wrote, I realize that this deep healing, this walking with God through extremely painful things, this stripping away of what I thought was good, and what I expected would happen, has brought about a benefit of enternal quality which actually outweighs the hard realities of what I’ve faced.
This is something I would have readily said as a spiritual fact, but now its a growing reality in my heart.

Years ago, I wouldn’t have thought I could be sad and glad at the same time, but if these hard times are purifying my faith and teaching me that God Himself is my Joy then they are worth the suffering. And when I realize the benefits, I’m glad.

You have put gladness in my heart, More than when their grain and new wine abound (Psalm 4:7 NASB)

Lord, in good times and bad, You are my Joy. You make my heart glad. Thank you for the way You’re surgically stripping away all else. You and You alone are my Joy. You gladden my heart.

“You care enough to give me what I need not what I want. You care enough to break my bones in order to recapture my heart.” [2]

[1] I Peter 1:3-5

[2] New Morning Mercies – A Daily Gospel Devotion Crossway, Paul Tripp (June 1st)

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures. Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 Novels by the Author:

Beyond Time

Hope Remains

Trusting God through very hard times

God at Work (No Trespassing) Republished (In the Moments)

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Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6 NASB)

When I was younger, I had an idea of how I thought my life would turn out, or at least how I hoped it would. I expected good health, peaceful relationships and smooth circumstances. I figured things might turn out differently, but what I didn’t realize is how much I’d tied my sense of well being to how my life was going. As a result, when the inevitable, unexpected twists occurred, I found myself on shaky ground, searching for something lasting to fill my need for joy. Perhaps you can relate.

It’s a midspring morning. I take a sip of my favorite kind of coffee, strong and dark with a little bit of stevia and cream. I’m beginning to feel the sun’s warmth cutting through the new day coolness, but it’s not high enough to blaze over the leafy green canopy. There’s no break in the constant symphony of birds singing above and in the forest beyond.

I want to celebrate the new day with as much melodious joy as these birds, but I need to be sure I’m still trusting God in these unexpected paths my life has taken. I have no doubt He’s with me, but in one situation He’s erected a ‘God at Work’ sign and He wants me to honor it. He’ll invite me in when He’s ready. In the meantime, my job is ferocious prayer.

A neighbor, walking her dogs, sees me and walks down the driveway to chat. She asks about our new dog, Lily, rescued off the streets on Good Friday.

We talk about shade flowers and how my bride and I plan on adding some color to our water garden next to the porch.

When she leaves, I continue my preparation for the new day. Years ago, I would have denied the gravity of the very painful parts of life, feeling what I could, stuffing the rest and keeping on best I could. But now that I’m learning how to properly steward my feelings, I see how denying emotional pain desensitizes my heart and makes it hard for me to discern God’s nearness.

If I’m to truly rejoice with the birds, I need to rehearse the steps I believe God has given me to help me honor His ‘God at Work’ sign in this very hard situation.

  • Don’t try to pretend all is well. Acknowledge my life is different than I hoped. Accept the loss and feel the pain. Lord, I call You near in the depths of my grief. You’re the God of all Comfort. Sooth my pain with the Joy of Your presence.[1]Celebrate the fact that God has seen me through tough times and trust He will do it again in this situation. Lord, You’ve been so faithful through so many difficulties. Looking back, I certainly see how You’ve used these trials for me to give up trying to live life on my own and to trust You.[2] The eternal work You’ve done in my soul makes this very hard situation worth it. When it first began, I would have never thought this to be the case, but now my heart tells me it’s true. This very hard situation has strengthened me emotionally and spiritually to the point that it is actually worth it. Thank You Lord.
  • Catch myself in the act of feeling bad about what I can’t change. This is in the Lord’s hands. Decide to stop trying to figure things out. Lord, I trust You to invite me into this difficulty when You’re ready. I don’t want to thwart what You’re doing. In the meantime, I trust You’re at work in the lives of all involved in ways I may never understand.
  • Focus on the beautiful things on this side of the ‘God at Work’ sign. Even though this situation is one I never expected, it doesn’t make my life incomplete. It’s easy for me to feel like a failure, but in Christ, I am complete.[3] I died, and my life is now hidden with Christ in God.[4]  Lord, in You I’m okay, even if this situation is never resolved. I’m free to enjoy life’s moments with You in spite of, and in the midst of, any unexpected situation. 

But as for me, the nearness of God is my good; (Psalm 73:28a NASB)

Lord, my heart is ready to be glad. In you, I rejoice always, even when life takes a turn which threatens my sense of well being. Through it all, my eyes are on You. My faith is growing because of this hard reality in ways I would have never thought possible.  I draw closer to You every day because of it. I don’t need this situation to work out to be okay.

You are enough.

My life is oriented from things above where I’m seated with You. My comfort is not the most important thing. Please continue Your work while I wait.

Lord, as I walk into this new day, show me who You want to love through me. Complete my joy as I love others as You’ve loved me, abiding always in Your love.[5]

Yet those who wait for the Lord
Will gain new strength;
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary.  (Isaiah 40:31 NASB)

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures. Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 Novels by the Author:

Beyond Time

Hope Remains

[1] II Corinthians 1:3-5

[2] II Corinthians 1:8-9

[3] Colossians 2:9-10

[4] Colossians 3:3

[5] John 15:9-12

Wrapped in Love Peace and Joy

Hidden with Christ in God (Re-published In the Moments)

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For you died and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. (Colossians 3:3 NASB)

On a long weekend away at one of our favorite places, Wrightsville Beach, NC. It’s not only because of the turquoise surf and pristine sand, but also for how private and secluded it feels. When the kids were growing up, we enjoyed many summer weeks with their cousins at my brother in law’s beach house on the south end of the island. Today we’re at Shell Island Resort, close to where Mason Inlet, fed by the currents of the Atlantic Ocean, forms a sandy semi-circle at the northern end.

I read that I died and my life is hidden with Christ in God. I want to understand what this means. The thought of being hidden with Christ in God is extremely comforting. Hidden in His righteousness, His peace, His protection, His joy. I want to walk around clothed with Christ, fully understanding my spiritual death[1] and union with Him in every aspect of life. This makes me feel glad.

Lord, please show me more.

As a kid, my siblings, cousins and I would make up games around thick hedges we called the enchanted forest. Nestled on either side of our grandparent’s side porch, below towering circular white columns, were nicely groomed holly bushes with red berries. Whether we were playing hide and go seek or fleeing an approaching giant, we would slip in between them into an open area, completely hidden from view. Lost in our imaginations, we were safe and protected from any outside harm.

Hidden with Christ in God.

The verses before read:

Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth (Colossians 3:1-2).

In order to walk out being hidden with Christ in God, I need to keep seeking (require, aim at, strive for) the truths of eternity. I live in time and space, but God isn’t bound by time. Right now, I’m spiritually positioned with Christ in God. Paul is telling me that if I want the peace, joy and security of being completely surrounded by Jesus, I must orient my life around the eternal, unchangeable spiritual fact that I died and Christ is now my life.

Outside of the enchanted forest, life can be brutal. People I love are deeply hurting. There’s critical illness. Relationships are strained. Marriages are splintering. But in the midst, God is asking me to rest in His nearness and trust His process. He tells me how my story ends: When Christ who is your life appears, then you will appear with Him in glory.[2]

Lord, I read these truths and believe them. I want to always keep an eternal mindset, rejoicing in Your continual nearness, even during very hard times. As I look out at the spread of Your ocean before me, I remember Your love for me is beyond knowledge – wider, deeper, longer and higher than the expanse of water and sky before me.  Please show me how to keep this very real eternal orientation even in the midst of sadness and loss.

Just walked to the end of the island and dipped our feet in Mason Inlet. By the pool now enjoying the breeze before a late lunch. A black bird keeps returning to the ladder to drink and bathe. I catch a whiff of a white lantana beside the lounge chair. The rhythmic sound of the ocean surf sooths my soul. God has created so many things for me to enjoy, all reminders of His presence and love for me.

If I’m to understand what it means to walk around, hidden in a Jesus hug, I need to come to full terms with my spiritual death. Paul tells us Even so consider yourselves to be dead to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus.[3]

Knowing and reckoning my spiritual death, truly frees me from much of life’s angsts. For example, if I died:

  • Can I be offended?
  • Can I seek after my own glory?
  • Can I push my own agenda?
  • Can I insert myself into situations I haven’t been invited?
  • Do I need to worry about fighting for my own satisfaction and joy?
  • Do I need to do anything to try and earn love from God or any person?
  • Is there any situation which comes up which is a surprise to God or is too hard for Him to handle?

Wow! Lord, I see it now. Knowing I died, must come before walking in the safety of Your embracing presence. When self rises up, in any flavor, it’s a direct pull against the abiding life You want me to live. Thank You for opening up to me the freedom of not having to worry about me anymore. For I died and my life is now hidden with You and in You. I walk out of the enchanted forest holding onto truths I do not see, but believe with all my heart. I need You. Please help me to keep me believing and trusting as I face the storms ahead. Amen.

Novels by the Author:

Beyond Time

Hope Remains

[1] Romans 6:4-11

[2] Colossians 4:4

[3] Romans 6:11

Walking in the Spirit

Only by the Spirit

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Are you so foolish? After beginning by means of the Spirit, are you now trying to finish by means of the flesh? (Galatians 3:3 NIV)

It’s taken me decades, but I think I’m beginning to get it. As believers in Jesus Christ, the only way we’re to live is in the flow of the Holy Spirit. We’ve been indwelt by the Holy Spirit of Jesus Christ and our life is to be a life of continuing to recognize our spiritual death and depending on Christ’s life within.[1] Any other way of living is a dam against the flow of the Rivers of Living Water within us.

Abiding, walking in the Spirit, depending on Jesus are not just nice suggestions, not just good ideas, but vital to living life the way God intends. After all, Jesus tells us that apart from a life of remaining in Him as our nourishing vine, what we do is worth nothing. I’ve grown tired of wearying myself out doing things to please God in my own strength. It’s a sobering thought to hear what Paul says about our attempts to please God by our own feeble efforts:

 I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness comes through the Law, then Christ died needlessly. (Galatians 2:21 NASB)It’s a cool spring morning. The trees are blanketed in leaves and the birds are chirping. The breeze is crisp. As I look down toward the barn, where the hens are scratching, the winter rye is still emerald green.

I recognize the Lord’s nearness. This is not necessarily a feeling, but an acknowledgement of the truth. The Lord Jesus indwells me by His Holy Spirit. He wants me to abide in the flow of His Spirit. This means being about what He wants and not what I want.

He’s all I need. He’s my Great Reward, my One Thing, my Pearl of Great Price. I declare these things because I know they are true, even when I don’t feel them. I also recognize that in spite of the way others might treat me and regardless of what I do or don’t do, the Creator of the universe wants to be with me. He delights in me and was willing to die to be with me forever.

These truths are stunning. Allow them to wash over you and settle into the deep parts of your heart. The eternal truths are greater than our thoughts feelings.

As I walk forward, believing these truths, yielding to Christ in me, longing for what He desires, isn’t this walking in His Spirit?

A humming bird hovers at the feeder a few feet away on the other side of the back-porch screen. Several birds begin to sing melodious songs back and forth. An impatient hen squawks for a nesting box down in the coop.

Lord, guard me from discouragement. I want to focus on you and not on circumstances, but times are hard. A good friend has brain surgery in a couple of hours. They found cancer on Wednesday.

Yesterday, another friend lost a nephew suddenly of a heart attack. He was a young man with a wife and six children. Members of my own family are going through deep emotional pain.

Lord, how do we make sense of it all? I call You near for the comfort of Your presence. You bring joy to my heart.

It’s raining now. Freshly laid zoysia sod soak up the drops. A red headed woodpecker pecker is so long it has to hang under the feeder as it pecks some seeds.

Lord, how do I stay in the flow when I leave this serenity and turn my attention to tasks? Love must lead in the midst of duties. Please keep me from doing anything apart from your leading. I wait upon you as a waiter attends a table. Please teach me how to be attentive to your nearness and your desires.

I’m called away to do something. As a work, I remain conscious of the Lord’s nearness. May every word and deed bring glory to my Savior.

Eating strawberries now. I praise you, Lord, for taste buds and for a wife who cut them up for me and poured on cream. You’ve given me so many things to enjoy! May I rejoice in Your nearness as appreciate life’s moments.

It’s raining harder now. My bride brings me extremely fresh eggs and oatmeal with cinnamon.

 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the Law (Galatians 5:16-18 NASB)

Lord, as I seek to walk only by your Spirit, I ask you to show me quickly when self rises up. I know when I insert my-self in any situation the flow of your Spirit in my life is blocked. My flesh is opposite to your Spirit. I never want to hamper what you want to do, so please guide me in bringing self desire, self dependence, self achievements, self glorification, self defense, self whatever to your cross where self was crucified with you.[2]

[1] Galatians 2:20

[2] Romans 6:4-11

Novels by the Author:

Beyond Time

Hope Remains

Grasping God's Delight in Us, Oh The Depth of Love

Keep Celebrating the Love of Easter

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We celebrated Easter a couple of days ago. However, Eastern Christianity celebrates Easter next Sunday.[1] So, this might be considered a true Easter week. Not that we need special dates to ponder the central event of the Gospel, but Easter came and went too quickly for me this year. I’m still pondering the stunning discoveries of God’s great love for us poured out on the cross. Deeper dimensions continue to unfold and I don’t want to move on.

Even the most stable human love pales in comparison to God’s great love for us. And when relationships cause unthinkable emotional pain, there’s an invitation to drink deeply of His delight in us. What we discover can set us free from the trappings of offense and allow us to love sacrificially as He’s loved us.

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8 NASB)

The Passion of Christ

Good Friday is also referred to as the “passion of Christ”. Passion is a strange word to describe the murder of Christ, but it fits the Latin origin “passio,” which means enduring suffering. The modern application of the word “passion,” an intense desire, appears disconnected from the original meaning. But the connection has to do with the intensity and endurance of the desire. The root word, “patio” expresses the idea of being moved to action where there is pain and suffering.

Jesus was moved to action in the midst of unimaginable pain. His desire was to endure suffering for our sakes, even though He could have chosen otherwise.

Or do you think that I cannot appeal to My Father, and He will at once put at My disposal more than twelve legions of angels? (Matthew 26:53 NASB)

Jesus’ intense desire was for us, motivating Him to endure indescribable pain.

Excruciating Pain

To understand Jesus’ suffering for us, consider the Romans used iron nails up to seven inches long driven into the victim’s wrist and ankles to fasten him to the wood.

The nails pounded through the wrists would have crushed the median nerve, the largest nerve going to the hand, causing indescribable pain. “The pain was absolutely unbearable,” says Dr. Metherell. “In fact, it was literally beyond words to describe; they had to invent a new word: excruciating. Literally, excruciating means ‘out of the cross.’”[2]

Nails driven through the ankles would have produced similar pain. And there was the unmerciful beatings and flesh flying scourging leading up to the cross.

There was no existing word to describe the suffering Jesus Christ was willing to endure on our behalf. His passion for us was excruciating.

The Lord was Pleased to Crush Him

But the Lord was pleased to crush Him, putting Him to grief; If He would render Himself as a guilt offering (Isaiah 53 10:b NASB)

This speaks again of God’s great desire to purchase our eternal fellowship with Him.

Pleased to crush Him. These words really have no place to land in my heart. How could God be pleased to have His Son crushed and broken for any reason? Could we agree to this for any of our children for any reason? Of course not. Yet, he wished this for His Son on our behalf.

For the Joy Set Before Him

let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God (Hebrews 12:1b-2 NASB).

What was the joy set before Jesus which motivated His endurance of the Cross?

As I ponder the question, I know the answer. Rescuing us from eternal separation was the joy set before Jesus. We bring Jesus joy; so much joy it motivated Him to endure the unthinkable.

The Lord your God is in your midst, A victorious warrior. He will exult over you with joy, He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy (Zephaniah 3:17).

The Lord actually delights to be with us. We cause Him to rejoice and shout for joy. Don’t read quickly past this. Allow it to sink past all the pains of human hurts and anchor your soul.

It bring the Lord joy just being with you.

God’s Delight in Us

So Jesus’ intense passion for us motivated Him to endure excruciating pain to rescue us. Seeing His eternal fellowship with us gave Him joy which fueled His passion and endurance. God’s delight in us is so great He was pleased to have His son crushed on our behalf. Being with us brings God joy.

Prayer

Lord, thank you for the many love messages we find in Easter. Your love swallows up all the pain of human offences. In light of your great delight in us, hurtful human actions are as grains of sand at the bottom of Your ocean of love.

When your love is hidden from me, please destroy all fortresses and strongholds which raise themselves up in an attempt to hide you.[3] You are love.

I’m only beginning to grasp the far reaching extent of Your delight in me. Please keep showing me that Your love may flow through me.

I rejoice in You this moment. May my life be a constant praise to You. Amen.

 

[1] Eastern Christianity uses the Julian calendar instead of the Gregorian. For this reason, Easter sometimes falls on a different date. This is the case in 2019.

[2] https://www.ucg.org/bible-study-tools/bible-questions…/what-is-the-lords-passion

[3] II Corinthians 10:3-5

 

Novels by the Author:

Beyond Time

Hope Remains

Sentenced to Die

Good Friday – The Story of Us

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A young man squatted in a dingy prison cell. His features were hidden by the deep shadows of his dark imprisonment. Only a thin plane of sunlight penetrated the darkness, revealing countless dust particles floating around rows of disheartened men. The man was seated, away from the light, staring, motionless, into the darkness.

Outside the prison, upon a hill, stood the place of execution, where condemned men were put to death. Today would be this man’s turn. In a way, death was a welcome ending to his pain. However, more strongly, the condemned man felt the fear of death’s mysteries. His soul, it seems, had died long ago, but the fear of physical death consumed every fiber of his being.

As he waited in the cruel anticipation of a violent death, his mind raced across the span of his life. What would have made a difference? What could have changed his inclinations towards evil? The answers to these questions could only be tossed out into his universe of despair. Like always, he knew no answers would come. There was no hope, never had there been hope.

Slowly and ever more increasingly, the young man became aware of the sounds of a great number of voices. There were shouts and roars, but none of the words could be recognized. The sounds increased and erupted past him like a huge ocean wave. An enormous mass of shouting people had passed just outside his cell and were proceeding toward execution hill. The time was near. The man could not remember so great a crowd ever gathered to witness a death before.

Just then, the outside door of the prison was slammed open hard against the wall. Keys jiggled and the main security door was unlocked. Prison guards streamed towards his cell. The hopeless man trembled and recoiled in fear. Death was pouncing upon him.

The guards unlocked his cell and converged upon him like many wild tigers. They seized him, and drug him out into the morning sunlight outside the prison. When they had cleared the outside door of the prison, he was slammed face down hard on the ground. The impact knocked him into a daze. In a semi unconscious state, he waited for the first slapping sting of the lashing whip.

After a while, he senses quickened and he slowly opened his eyes, spitting dust from his mouth. He tilted his head slowly, expecting his flesh to be ripped open at any moment.

Amazingly, he was alone.

People were flowing in masses towards execution hill, but he was left unattended on the ground.

Slowly at first, but with increasing urgency, the freed man got up and made his way into an old warehouse, across the block from the prison. Looking around as he fled, he expected his fantasy to end at any moment. He made it to the abandoned building and flung himself sobbing to the ground.

After a long while, the man’s curiosity couldn’t be contained. He left the building and circled around the back of execution hill. He came up upon the crowd and mixed himself safely among the masses. With much effort, he fought his way through until he could see what the commotion was all about.

Three men hung dying on crosses, the pain etched across their faces. Two of the men he knew from his time in prison, but he didn’t recognize the man in the middle. This man seemed much weaker and closer to death than the others. He stood watching the dying man with blood gushing down the wood of the middle tree. A strange magnetism drew his soul, locking him in on the suffering criminal.

Their eyes met. Though he was among a mass of people, the man on the middle cross was looking directly at him. The dying man’s eyes were not desperate and frantic, but peaceful and loving.

After a few moments the freed man turned and walked away. As he fought his way back through the crowd, he overheard someone asking about the man on the middle cross, “Why are they killing him, what has he done?”

“He’s done nothing wrong,” the answer came. “He’s dying in place of a man set free.”

Exchanged Life

He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him Second Corinthians 5:21

What would it feel like to find yourself in a prison cell, sentenced to die? Yet, being released at the last hour for another to die in your place. A man free of wrong, willing to die for you. This is our story.

My place of solitude

True Value

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For in him all the fullness of deity dwells in bodily form, and in him you have been made complete, and he is the head over all rule and authority (Colossians 2:9-10 NASB)

Matters of the Heart

Funny how eternal truths seem solid one moment, but slip away the next. This happened to me the other day concerning my value in Christ. In my mind, the matter was settled, but my feelings told me otherwise. In my journey with Jesus, as I seek to surrender more and more of my heart to Him, light is being shed on lies deep within. I may know God’s truth about myself mentally, but emotionally, under layers of stuffed feelings, fortified falsehoods need to be destroyed.

God is in the business of exposing and rooting out lies we’re believing and agreeing with. When clarity comes, we can dis-agree with cruel, irrational thoughts about ourselves and agree with what God says about us. This process is hard, but yields the joyous freedom God desires for each of us.

Shaky Ground

A few days ago, without warning, the ground of my emotional wellbeing crumbled beneath me. I felt like an orc in the last battle of Return of the King, when great fissures opened and the earth swallowed them up. It took me completely by surprise. Outwardly, I had a seemingly innocent conversations. But something said, set off a flood of confusing, negative emotions. I felt real discouraged, and I wasn’t really sure why.

Fortunately, I had some free time right after it happened. This allowed me to grab my journal and try and process my feelings. I made my way to one of my favorite get-away spots in the woods beyond our property. The place I had in mind was remote enough to insure an extended time of solitude.

I’m learning not to brush negative feelings aside. They’re like warning lights on the dash board indicating something needs attention under the hood.

I sat down against a tree overlooking a small waterfall.

Lord, please help me understand what I’m feeling.

Wading Through Feelings

Understanding deep emotions, especially negative ones, is something I’m learning how to do. At an early age, I wasn’t sure what to do with feelings concerning my parent’s divorce, so I didn’t deal with them very well. I processed what I could and moved on best I knew how. This didn’t leave me very emotionally healthy. But God is a Healer. He wants me whole. He’s showing me that feelings shouldn’t be ignored. If I understand them, and deal with the negative ones, I can experience the freedom God wants for me.

I look up and see a deer staring at me from across the creek. It can’t figure out what I am. I wonder if it thinks I’m a funny looking bush. I remain motinless. After a while, it wanders deeper into the woods.

Lord, I feel like a failure. I jot down in my journal why I feel like a failure in a specific area.

Logically, I know failing and being a failure is not the same thing, but my feelings scream otherwise. Failing is a part of the journey of life for all of us. It’s disappointing, but it doesn’t make me a failure. I reason with myself.

What is it Lord? Why do I feel like a failure?

I wrote:  Value – tossed aside like garbage.

These are raw feelings I’d never expressed. Clarity comes. When I fail, it makes me feel worthless, good for nothing, rejected.

Wow. I’m not cutting myself much of a break. Why Lord?

Mixed up Value System (From my journal)

Robby. You’ve believed your value as a person is inseparably intertwined with what you do. When you fail, you don’t see it as an opportunity to learn and grow. You’re afraid it means you’re a failure,

Yes Lord. I see it. Failing does feels like I’m a failure, worthless, tossed aside. But I can’t be perfect can I?

You don’t have to be. I’ve done it all. Before you took a breath, I loved you enough to die for you and adopt you as my son.[1] My love for you is out of this world, sourced in eternity, unaffected by anything in time or space.[2] You can’t change how I feel about you. You can never be worthless because I indwell you.[3] I created you in my Son Jesus and saved you by my grace for good works, but they were never the measure of your worth.[4]

Prayer

Lord, I see it much clearer now. You’ve taken me deep to show me how messed up my value system has been. Wow. I didn’t realize it, but failing has caused me to fear rejection. How messed up is that? But my feelings revealed my true beliefs which you want to expose. You desire to slather your love and grace upon every deep wound. Thank you so much for not giving up on me.

You care so much for my freedom and joy. You won’t relent until every lie has been exposed and swallowed up by your Truth.

Please continue to uncover deep lies I’m agreeing with that I might dis-agree with them and stand on Your truth. Amen. 

Walking in the Joy of Loving without Fear of Failure

I’m realizing  God wants to take me deeper into these feelings of rejection when I fail and free my heart even more.

However, understanding  my performance never affects my value,  and allowing God’s love for me to determine who I am,  is already bringing  joy and freedom.

I’m learning to rest in what God’s done for me and not fear failure. This frees me to love the people God places in my path.

Laying aside concerns for how I’m performing brings lightness. Since the matter of my true value  has been settled forever, a childlike wonder and joy is emerging in the moments of my day.

[1] Ephesians 1:5-6

[2] Jeremiah 31:3

[3] Galatians 2:20

[4] Ephesians 2:8-10

Novels by the Author:

Beyond Time

Hope Remains

God's Nearness

Lee has Cancer

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Life Long Friend

Lee and I grew up together on the same street. On summer days we’d hop on our bikes and pedal down to Shaw’s pharmacy and spend our allowance on baseball cards and fire balls. We played countless basketball games at each other’s court, swam at the community pool and played on the same little league team.

We endured our parent’s divorce during our formative years, leaving us both on shaky ground. Neither of our father’s had the capacity to help us navigate manhood, so we did the best we could. We tried to live good lives, but eventually followed our friends into experimenting with smoking and drinking. Once this began, the tide took us deeper into drugs and other misdeeds.

Lee quit high school and joined the army.  I went to college.

Searching for Joy

While in college, I pursued worldly pleasures I thought would bring me joy. I almost lost a scholarship my mother worked hard to secure. During fifty cent beer night, I was arrested for DUI. As I sat in jail, before my buddies bailed me out, I realized my life was on a downward trajectory. I knew I needed God, but didn’t know how to approach Him. My experience with ‘born again’ Christians seemed to be a life of joyless rules.

In the meantime, Lee was on a similar downward spiral. He landed in jail for drug possession in California. During the incident, he was introduced to Jesus Christ as a personal Savior, not a rule demanding kill joy. His life was truly changed and he couldn’t wait to tell me.

Lee’s Questions

One day, when Lee was on furlough and I was home for the weekend, he asked me, “Robby, do you think you’re going to heaven?

“Yea,” I replied.

“How do you know?”

“I believe in Jesus, like it says in the Bible,” I replied. “I haven’t killed anybody and I’ve lived a pretty good life.”

“But the Bible says you’ll know them by their fruit,” Lee responded.

This took me back. I certainly wasn’t living a life of good fruit.

“If you want joy.” Lee continued. “Your priorities need to be Jesus first, then others and finally yourself.”

“Lee, I’d need to clean my life up first before I could give my life to Jesus.”

“Do you take a bath before you take a shower?” he asked. “Jesus will accept a person exactly where they are.”

Life in Christ

My conversation with Lee was one of the primary seeds God used to bring me to my knees months later. In late summer of 1977, I admitted to the Lord I’d made a mess of my life. I accepted what He’d done on the cross on my behalf and received His life in exchange for my sin. I had no idea what to do next, but my life in Christ had begun.

Lee and I have remained close for almost 60 years now. We realize how rare our friendship is and we don’t take it for granted. It’s extremely comforting to have a bud who’s been in your life for as long as you can remember, especially when life gets hard.

Lee’s Cancer

I got a call from Lee last month informing me there is a lump on his chest. They’d be doing a biopsy soon to see if it’s cancerous. He seemed to be handling it well, but my heart sank. Not Lee. Lord, please not cancer.

The following week he found out he has breast cancer. He told me the plan is to be determined, but he didn’t want to waste this opportunity to magnify the Lord in this very difficult situation.

Lee’s Courage

Lee is one of my heroes. Not only did he care enough to share God’s good news with me, but he models what it looks like to care more about God’s glory than his own welfare.

Yes, and I will rejoice, for I know that this will turn out for my deliverance through your prayers and the provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ, according to my earnest expectation and hope, that I will not be put to shame in anything, but that with all boldness, Christ will even now, as always, be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain (Philippians 1:18b-21 NASB)

He’s fighting to realize and walk in the fact that his well-being is tied to his closeness to God, not in his circumstances.

But as for me, the nearness of God is my good; I have made the Lord God my refuge, That I may tell of all Your works (Psalm 73:28 NASB).

 From Lee’s Journal:  3/5/19 – The early morning awakenings, these are the toughest and yet they bring the most solace. It doesn’t seem I get a lot but I do get a little, and yet I desire more but even then I know not what.

 My Prayer

Lord, I thank you for my friend Lee. I cherish his friendship over all these many years. In Christ, I have bold access to your throne. I know You’re able to heal Lee. Will You, please. Also, please honor his request to allow his cancer to glorify You. Use it to bring people closer to You. Draw near to Lee in the early morning hours when he needs to know You’re there. I pray these things in the faithful name of Jesus the Christ.

Novels by the Author:

Beyond Time

Hope Remains

Being with us Gives God Pleasure, Loved in spite of how we feel

Walking in God’s Delight

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Being With My Buds

When I was a kid we had no cell phones, no internet, and no video games. Personal computers had not been invented. We had four TV channels, if you included the educational channel. A few shows were in color including, Disney’s Wonderful World of Color, which aired on Sunday nights. So, we spent a lot of time playing outside.

At the bottom of my road, my good friends Larry and Lee lived next to each other. On Saturday mornings, I might watch a few cartoons, but I much preferred being with my buds. As soon as possible, I’d hop on my bike and coast down the hill to their houses to hang out. We’d play basketball, baseball or football, fish in the creek or ride our bikes to the community pool to swim.

I remember, in my excitement, arriving too early one Saturday morning. I saw no activity in either house and I didn’t want to wake anyone. I parked my bike and sat on a bank in between their two houses and waited to play with them. I don’t remember who showed up first, but when one of them came out of their house, the games began.

Would God arrive early to be with me? Would He wait eagerly for me to appear? I read that He would, and so much more. But, I can’t grasp it.

They confronted me in the day of my calamity, But the Lord was my stay. He brought me forth also into a broad place; He rescued me, because He delighted in me (Psalm 18:18-19 NASB).

Lord, I read you delight in me. You’re gladder to be with me than I was to be with Larry and Lee. Being with me gives You pleasure. I can’t fathom this.

All You’ve Done for Me

Lord, open the eyes of my heart to all you’ve done for me and how much You long to be with me.

  • Before the world was formed, you chose to love me and to adopt me as your child[1]
  • You’ve loved me with an everlasting love which is unaffected by any of my thoughts, feelings or choices[2]
  • You’re familiar with all my ways, You weaved me together in my mother’s womb, Your thoughts toward me are beyond number[3]
  • Your love for me surpasses understanding. Even the breadth, width, length and height of the ocean and the sky above doesn’t adequately portray how delighted you are in me[4]
  • Even when I was against you, dead in my sinful ways and lost with no hope, you gave your very life so that we could be together forever[5]
  • You rejoice and shout for joy when You’re with me[6]

Wow! Great thanks and praise well up in my heart at all you’ve done for me. You care for me more than any person ever could.

Declaring Your Love for Me

Lord, nothing in my life can thwart your love for me.

I was in your mind when you created the world and Your thoughts toward me can’t be measured.

You know everything about me.

You designed me according to Your plans for me.

You’re so happy to be with me You gave your life to rescue me from oblivion.

I make you rejoice and jump for joy.

Walking in God’s Delight

How will walking in heart felt awareness of God’s delight in me change me?

Walking in God’s delight allows me to absorb the hurtful actions of others, like flaming arrows extinguished in a vast ocean.

Walking in God’s delight allows me to I trust that even the very difficult trials I’m going through are being used by Him for my eternal good.

Walking in God’s delight allows me to stay aware of His nearness and rejoice in life’s moments with him.

Walking in God’s delight allows me to notice and appreciate more fully His creation around me.

Walking in God’s delight allows me to love others with His abiding love.

Walking in God’s delight allows me to desire Him and delight in Him about all else.

Walking in God’s delight fills me with the overflowing joy of His presence.

Our Opposition

Walking in heartfelt awareness of God’s delight will literally change the moments of our days and transform our lives. So, it’s a key strategy of our adversary to try and block this life changing knowledge. But we are not unaware of these schemes and we are divinely empowered to destroy everything that blocks God’s love.

For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses. We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ (II Corinthians 10:3-5 NASB).

Prayer

Lord, knowing your love changes everything. Reveal your great delight in us now and always. Help us walk in your delight. By your mighty divine power, destroy every speculation and lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of your love. Fill our hearts with fresh awareness of your delight in us. In Jesus name I pray.   

Novels by the Author:

Beyond Time

Hope Remains

[1] Ephesians 1:4-5

[2] Jeremiah 31:3

[3] Psalm 139

[4] Ephesians 3:17-19

[5] Ephesians 2:4-5

[6] Zephaniah 3:17

Christ Indwells Us, The Nearness of God

The Pearl Within

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Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking fine pearls, and upon finding one pearl of great value, he went and sold all that he had and bought it (Matthew 13:45-46)

Oysters

When my mom was alive she cooked a special treat for me every Thanksgiving. I say “me” because she and I were the only ones who liked oyster casserole. From time to time others would taste a spoon full and with a “yuk,” confirm their dislike. This would leave me several helpings and leftovers of succulent seafood delight.

I love oysters, but oysters have more going for them than just being delicious.

When a grain of sand or other small particle slips in between its shells, an oyster will begin covering the uninvited visitor with nacre. Nacre, also known as mother of pearl, is a strong and iridescent material which protects the oyster from the intruder. Overtime, this nacre covered grain of sand is transformed into a pearl.

Treasure Within

As believers in Jesus Christ, we have the most valuable treasure imaginable inside us, the Holy Spirit of our Risen Lord Jesus Christ.

God’s Holy Spirit lives in us.

He’s the deposit sealing and guaranteeing our future inheritance[1]

He’s the Helper and Comforter Jesus promised[2][3]

He’s our power to live like Jesus Christ [4]

He’s our source of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control[5]

God indwelling us is the most important thing about us, but do we live accordingly? We’re designed to live lives of dependence, not independence.

Paul wrote: For we do not want you to be unaware, brethren, of our affliction which came to us in Asia, that we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life; indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead (II Corinthians 1:8-9);

Coming to the End of Me

For years as a Christian, I tried to emulate the Jesus I read about in my own strength.

I wore myself out with Christian activities and trying to behave like Jesus. It was utter failure. Besetting sins lingered, frustration and anger brewed. Busyness crowded people out. My life felt dutiful, not delightful. I experienced dark nights of the soul progressively coming to the end of me.

At every point of surrender God was waiting to teach me a deeper level of yielding to His life within. He’s teaching me to stop doing things “for Him” and allow His Spirit to empower me.

The Abiding Life is the Dying Life

I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing (John 15:5 NASB).

I used to think verses about abiding were good ideas. But I know now abiding is essential to living the joyous Christian life God intended.

Abiding means remaining, staying and dwelling in the spot of drawing our vital life source from Jesus the Vine. It’s yielding to Christ’s live within us; allowing Him to love others through us. But this requires us coming to terms with our spiritual death.

 I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me (Galatians 2:20 NASB)

We died. God lives inside. He becomes our life.

Rivers of Living Water Within

Jesus didn’t leave us as orphans. He sent His Holy Spirit to comfort us, to guide us, to fuel our lives.

Right now Jesus is in us. Let’s pause and acknowledge His nearness, determining not to move on without Him.

When Jesus said, Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.[6]

The word ‘Come’ means come this way.  Come. Stay, Walk this way with me. It’s an invitation to a continual, lasting togetherness.

Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and You will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and my burden is light.[7]

As the adult ox bears the weight and does the work, the younger ox is guided along, resting and learning, Abiding is staying yoked and depending on the power of Jesus every moment of the day.

Prayer

Lord, I see it now. There’s really no other way to live my life than in complete dependence upon you. I died and my life is now hidden in you. I want to remain aware of your presence as much as possible throughout the day. Remind me often that you’re near. When I forget your nearness because of daily duties, bring me quickly back to the enjoyment of being with You. And when I take that all too familiar stance of depending again on me, bring my efforts to failure that I might abide again in the sweet flow of your Rivers of Living Water within. You are my Pearl of Great Value. I give up all I have and all I am to You. Please use me for Your glory. Amen.

Novels by the Author:

Beyond Time

Hope Remains

 

[1] Ephesians 1:13-14

[2] John 14:16-17

[3] Colossians 1:27

[4] Philippians 2:13

[5] Galatians 5:22-23

[6] Matthew 11:28

[7] Matthew 11:29-30