Tag Archives: grief to gladness

Our Highest Joy (Dealing with Sadness and Disappointment)

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ (II Corinthians 1:3-5 NASB).

Guarded Heart

I first saw my father drunk when my mother wasn’t at home. I was around ten years old and the oldest child. When I saw him stagger and fall, I couldn’t process the emotions. I felt numb. A few years later his drinking would cost him his job, his marriage and almost his life.

A trusted counselor once told me the armor I used to guard my heart as a kid served me well, but I’ve outgrown it now. I needed to learn how to explore and process some ancient pain. But I wasn’t really sure how.

The Difference Between Sadness and Disappointment

One of the characters in a novel I’m reading mentioned being disappointed with God. I don’t attribute my disappointment with God, but I do recognize the feeling of disappointment and wonder how it differs from sadness.

Research tells me sadness implies grieving something we’ve had and lost. Disappointment deals with the lost of the hope of something. The distinction seems helpful in sorting through some of the feelings of loss I still need to deal with.

Jesus is our Highest Joy, but Emotional Pain Shouldn’t be Ignored  

Our Highest Joy (Unmasking the Lie)

Though, as children of God, we’re hopefully growing in our heartfelt understanding that He Himself is what gives us lasting fulfillment, satisfaction and happiness, dealing with our emotional pain is very important. Exploring old wounds and freeing captured parts of our hearts can free us to enjoy the presence of the Lord more authentically.

In a recent journal entry, this is what I sense God was saying to me concerning my emotional pain: Don’t deny the sadness and disappointments in your life. Keep bringing it all to me. The old ones, the new ones. There’s hurt, but like light and salt heal physical wounds, there’s freedom and healing when you call Me near. I’m the God of all comfort. I want to bind every crevice of your broken heart with the Joy of My presence. To the extent you allow My Oil of Gladness in to soften and soothe your pain, true compassion will grow. And as the more hidden places in your heart are brought to My Life and Light, the more you’ll experience the Joy of us being together.

Challenge

Do you have sadness or disappointment which has caused or is causing great grief? Bring an especially painful one to mind. Have you denied the gravity of how this has affected you?  Have you minimized the impact to your own detriment and to the harm of others?

Though accessing this great pain may take your breath away, it may be time to unlock, deep crusted over parts of your heart, long ago abandoned. Ask Jesus to draw near. He is near to the broken hearted.[1]

Prayer

Lord, thank you for showing me how important it is to call you near in my sadness and disappointment. Thank you for showing me that denying my deep emotional pain is not what you intend. Some of these losses are extremely hard. My heart and eyes still sting when I embrace the magnitude of hurt and loss. But You are my Life. These feelings are not a surprise to you, Jesus. Isaiah described you as a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief.[2] You know my inner most parts. You knit me together.[3]

Amen.

Epilogue

Within hours after writing this, as I invited the Lord into deeper layers of my own sadness and disappointment, a sense of undefined discouragement began to creep in. This feeling lasted over a day. I felt zapped of strength, with little motivation to perform life’s normal duties. I’ve been told this mood is common-place for some folks. It’s rare for me and gives me an appreciation for those who battle depression.

Though I didn’t feel it, I clung desperately to what God says about His love for me. The next day, the cloud began to lift. I’m learning to believe God’s love and hold on to it, even when I don’t understand it or feel it.

The Lord appeared to him long ago, saying, “I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore I have drawn you out with kindness (Jeremiah 31:3 NASB).

My father came to saving faith in Jesus Christ later in life. Though he struggled with his alcoholism even after his conversion, his eventual total dependence upon the Lord with his drinking problem led to sober living the last fifteen years of his life. Dad’s story

[1] Psalm 34:18

[2] Isaiah 53:3

[3] Psalm 139:13

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

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 Novels by the Author:

Beyond Time

Hope Remains

Can We be Sad and Glad at the Same Time?

Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that you have broken rejoice (Psalm 51:8 ESV)

It’s Sunday afternoon and I’m basking in the unwavering truth that God has made me glad. In spite of life’s despairs, eternal joy cheers my heart, but this perspective doesn’t come naturally.

The temperature is 97, but I prefer our shaded porch at the edge of the forest. At least for now, Lily, our little shih apso, chooses to be with me over the air conditioning on the other side of the door. As mentioned in a previous post, my challenge is to rejoice each day inspite of situations which threaten my gladness. I know from my reader’s comments that I’m not alone. If we live long enough, we all face dire times which stretch our faith.

Jesus said it: I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world. (John 16:33 ESV)

No one goes through life unscathed. But trials can be more than something to endure. They can have real purpose.

I pause and allow the rhythmic, cascading flow in our water garden to wash my soul and remind me of the Lord’s constant love and presence. I admire the pink, green and white plants my wife and I added beside the pool. Fans above and in front of me yield a cooling breeze which cuts the heat. Beholding my surroundings reminds me that God’s created things are physical extensions of His Glory to be savored. I rest in the joy of His presence.

Peter, a hero of mine, who wrestled to fully surrendering himself to God, speaks of some amazing eternal truths which bring great joy:[1]

  • We have a Living Hope
  • Our inheritance is safely stowed away, beyond the possibility of corruption
  • We are currently surrounded by the powerful protection of God

Speaking of these he says, In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ; and though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, (I Peter 1:6-8 NASB)

These eternal truths stabilize our hearts even though we may be distressed (made sorrowful) by various trials (provings).

God is at work in our sorrow, inviting us to press into Him more vigorously, by faith. As we do, we realize joy is never dependent on our circumstances.

James agrees with Peter – “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing”(James 1:2-4 NASB)

Having joy in trials seems so wrong, but if the trials can add some lasting, eternal understanding and deepen our faith, would our sufferings be  worth it? Could we get to the point James is talking about where we lack nothing because we live with Jesus, our Eternal Joy. I’m starting to believe so. See what I wrote in my journal a couple of weeks ago:

May 11, 2019 – I was getting ready to go to bed when a truth I've believed in my head became a reality in my heart. In other words, it went from head knowledge to life knowledge. These extremely difficult times the last few years really have deepened me. I've been forced to come to terms with my emotions and to explore some core level areas with God. He's traveled with me as deep as I've ventured, exposing pain and deep lies He's wanted to heal. I ask Him to go deeper still, as far as He wants to go to keep me focused on what He wants in my life and the lives of those around me. He is my Joy. I need nothing else.
As I pondered what I just wrote, I realize that this deep healing, this walking with God through extremely painful things, this stripping away of what I thought was good, and what I expected would happen, has brought about a benefit of enternal quality which actually outweighs the hard realities of what I’ve faced.
This is something I would have readily said as a spiritual fact, but now its a growing reality in my heart.

Years ago, I wouldn’t have thought I could be sad and glad at the same time, but if these hard times are purifying my faith and teaching me that God Himself is my Joy then they are worth the suffering. And when I realize the benefits, I’m glad.

You have put gladness in my heart, More than when their grain and new wine abound (Psalm 4:7 NASB)

Lord, in good times and bad, You are my Joy. You make my heart glad. Thank you for the way You’re surgically stripping away all else. You and You alone are my Joy. You gladden my heart.

“You care enough to give me what I need not what I want. You care enough to break my bones in order to recapture my heart.” [2]

[1] I Peter 1:3-5

[2] New Morning Mercies – A Daily Gospel Devotion Crossway, Paul Tripp (June 1st)

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures. Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 Novels by the Author:

Beyond Time

Hope Remains

Rejoicing at all Times Doesn’t Make Sense

What do we Rejoice?

The Bible has commands which just don’t make common sense. They’re out of this world. Commands which require us to take hold of something eternal in order to even comprehend, much more to obey them.

Like this one:  Rejoice Always (I Thessalonians 5:16 NASB.)

Just found out a very good friend of mine has a mass on their chest. They go in for a biopsy on Thursday.

A marriage is in trouble. A job was lost. Relationships are broken. A long-time friend died of a brain tumor. Loved ones are sick. People are in deep emotional pain.

Yet, we’re to rejoice always. Rejoice what? Certainly not our circumstances.

Then what do we rejoice? What can we grab hold of from God’s greater, eternal story to rejoice in? The story God’s writing on human hearts involves far more than just our happy circumstances. We’re complete in Christ[1] and God’s wants us to know it. He’s orchestrating our lives to  free us  from the false affections of a happy life.

Our joy must come from the Lord. We’re to rejoice in Him. And as we joy in Him, the whole world is unlocked for us to enjoy. After all, God created sunsets, puppies, babies, flowers, sex and chocolate. We’re designed to delight in the Lord first, above all else, and then to joy in His creation. If we get the order wrong, let’s be honest, we’re idolaters.

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! (Philippians 4:4 NASB)

What is Rejoicing?

Rejoicing means to be full of joy, to be cheerful, to be exceeding glad and calmly happy.

Let these meanings sink in. Savor them. Allow them to wash over your heart. Imagine being:

  • Full of Joy
  • Cheerful
  • Exceedingly Glad
  • Calmly Happy

Always.

We’ve longed for this quality of glorious satisfaction, but we thought things had to go well in our lives to get there. At least I did.

God is Joy. In His presence, Joy is full.[2] There’s a way to cultivate a lifestyle of rejoicing which isn’t dependent on the shifting sands of day to day living. There’s a way to be full of joy, cheerful, exceedingly glad and calmly happy every moment of every day. It must be possible. God commanded it.

How do we Cultivate a Lifestyle of Rejoicing in the Lord?

What James writes about joy is bizarre, especially if we’re looking for good circumstances to maintain our feelings of well-being:

“Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter varies trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, that you might be perfect, lacking in nothing” (James 1:2-4 NASB.)

Trials test our faith.  As we learn to celebrate in times of great opposition, endurance grows. Rejoicing brings the intimacy of our Lord into every crevasse of our most difficult situations, flooding our hearts with joy. The more we experience the amazing, paradoxical transformation of grief to gladness by the mere presence of Almighty God, the more we realize we lack nothing. This world doesn’t bring contentment. We’re joyous because He is near.

This isn’t easy.  But, Graham Cooke says no circumstance or person has the power to steal our joy unless we allow it. Even in nightmare scenarios, rejoicing pulls us above the circumstances and our negative mindsets.[3]

Perhaps our goal is not just to get through what we’re experiencing, but to enjoy the presence of the Lord in whatever we’re experiencing. Rejoicing in the Lord always.

Challenge  

Is there a situation or a person which is trying to steal your joy? Will you choose to rejoice in the Lord in spite of what’s going on?

Spend some time now asking for the Lord to cheer your heart with His nearness. Rejoice in Him in spite of how you feel.

Peter writes, “but to the degree that you share the suffering of Christ, keep on rejoicing; so that also at the revelation of His glory, you may rejoice with exultation (I Peter 4:13 NASB).  

To what degree should we keep on rejoicing? To the degree in which we share in the sufferings of Christ.

To Peter, not only did suffering and rejoicing go hand in hand, there was a direct correlation of one to the other.

Prayer  

Lord, this trial, these trials have been going on so long. You know. Sometimes I lose hope they’ll ever get better. Yet, life keeps coming. It doesn’t stop for us to catch our breaths. These things don’t make me happy, but I’m seeing something glorious happen in spite of them. Your nearness is bringing gladness to every situation. I can rejoice in You and be cheerful even in the miry pit of hopeless dreams. Even when the unthinkable happens, You fill my heart with joy.

 I’m a container of your Joyous Presence. You indwell me.[4] May I yield to your Spirit in every situation that your Joy may flow. Joy inside . Joy overflowing. Rejoicing always, in You.

[1] Colossians 2:10

[2] Psalm 16:11

[3] Times of Refreshing, Graham Cooke

[4] Galatians 2:20

Novels by the Author:

Beyond Time

Hope Remains