Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ (II Corinthians 1:3-5 NASB).
Guarded Heart
I first saw my father drunk when my mother wasn’t at home. I was around ten years old and the oldest child. When I saw him stagger and fall, I couldn’t process the emotions. I felt numb. A few years later his drinking would cost him his job, his marriage and almost his life.
A trusted counselor once told me the armor I used to guard my heart as a kid served me well, but I’ve outgrown it now. I needed to learn how to explore and process some ancient pain. But I wasn’t really sure how.
The Difference Between Sadness and Disappointment
One of the characters in a novel I’m reading mentioned being disappointed with God. I don’t attribute my disappointment with God, but I do recognize the feeling of disappointment and wonder how it differs from sadness.
Research tells me sadness implies grieving something we’ve had and lost. Disappointment deals with the lost of the hope of something. The distinction seems helpful in sorting through some of the feelings of loss I still need to deal with.
Jesus is our Highest Joy, but Emotional Pain Shouldn’t be Ignored
Our Highest Joy (Unmasking the Lie)
Though, as children of God, we’re hopefully growing in our heartfelt understanding that He Himself is what gives us lasting fulfillment, satisfaction and happiness, dealing with our emotional pain is very important. Exploring old wounds and freeing captured parts of our hearts can free us to enjoy the presence of the Lord more authentically.
In a recent journal entry, this is what I sense God was saying to me concerning my emotional pain: Don’t deny the sadness and disappointments in your life. Keep bringing it all to me. The old ones, the new ones. There’s hurt, but like light and salt heal physical wounds, there’s freedom and healing when you call Me near. I’m the God of all comfort. I want to bind every crevice of your broken heart with the Joy of My presence. To the extent you allow My Oil of Gladness in to soften and soothe your pain, true compassion will grow. And as the more hidden places in your heart are brought to My Life and Light, the more you’ll experience the Joy of us being together.
Challenge
Do you have sadness or disappointment which has caused or is causing great grief? Bring an especially painful one to mind. Have you denied the gravity of how this has affected you? Have you minimized the impact to your own detriment and to the harm of others?
Though accessing this great pain may take your breath away, it may be time to unlock, deep crusted over parts of your heart, long ago abandoned. Ask Jesus to draw near. He is near to the broken hearted.[1]
Prayer
Lord, thank you for showing me how important it is to call you near in my sadness and disappointment. Thank you for showing me that denying my deep emotional pain is not what you intend. Some of these losses are extremely hard. My heart and eyes still sting when I embrace the magnitude of hurt and loss. But You are my Life. These feelings are not a surprise to you, Jesus. Isaiah described you as a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief.[2] You know my inner most parts. You knit me together.[3]
Amen.
Epilogue
Within hours after writing this, as I invited the Lord into deeper layers of my own sadness and disappointment, a sense of undefined discouragement began to creep in. This feeling lasted over a day. I felt zapped of strength, with little motivation to perform life’s normal duties. I’ve been told this mood is common-place for some folks. It’s rare for me and gives me an appreciation for those who battle depression.
Though I didn’t feel it, I clung desperately to what God says about His love for me. The next day, the cloud began to lift. I’m learning to believe God’s love and hold on to it, even when I don’t understand it or feel it.
The Lord appeared to him long ago, saying, “I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore I have drawn you out with kindness (Jeremiah 31:3 NASB).
My father came to saving faith in Jesus Christ later in life. Though he struggled with his alcoholism even after his conversion, his eventual total dependence upon the Lord with his drinking problem led to sober living the last fifteen years of his life. Dad’s story
[1] Psalm 34:18
[2] Isaiah 53:3
[3] Psalm 139:13
Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.
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