Why Relationship must Proceed Rules.

At that time Jesus went through the grain fields on the Sabbath, and His disciples became hungry and began to pick the heads of grain and eat. But when the Pharisees saw this, they said to Him, “Look, Your disciples do what is not lawful to do on a Sabbath.” But He said to them, “Have you not read what David did when he became hungry, he and his companions, how he entered the house of God, and they ate the consecrated bread, which was not lawful for him to eat nor for those with him, but for the priests alone? Or have you not read in the Law, that on the Sabbath the priests in the temple break the Sabbath and are innocent? But I say to you that something greater than the temple is here. But if you had known what this means, ‘I desire compassion, and not a sacrifice,’ you would not have condemned the innocent.  For the Son of Man is Lord of the Sabbath.” (Matthew 12:1-8 NASB)

We’ve heard about it in parenting. Rules without relationship leads to rebellion. Life and joy flow from relational connection. Without it, the heart groans.

Story

In the south, we tend to all call ourselves Christian, without really knowing what it means.  Growing up, I was no different. On Sunday mornings, my sister, brother and I  would cut the volume way down on our 4 channel, rabbit ear bearing television. The plan was to stay quiet enough not to wake Mom. If we made it until Rocky and Bullwinkle came on, we were safe. There wouldn’t be enough time to get dressed and ready for church. Mom didn’t like to be late.

My dislike of church wasn’t helped by the fact that we lived very close to a fundamental Christian college. Some of the kids who lived there attended my elementary school. I judged them for the way they looked and acted. They dressed so prim and proper.  And, because they didn’t join in our mischievous ideas of fun, they seemed stuffy and joyless. I felt judged by them. But looking back, I was the one who was doing the judging.

In my eyes, they were a “born again,”  “holier than thou” brand of Christianity I wanted no part of. Besides, I  “believed” in Jesus. I’d tried to live a good live. I hadn’t murdered anyone or robbed a bank. I figured my slot in heaven was secure, since my good deeds surely outweighed the bad. At least that was my thinking. 

While in college, I became convinced that my pursuit of joy in earthly treasures would always leave me empty. My best friend talked to me about giving my life to Jesus. But I didn’t understand why Christ would accept me because of my party lifestyle.  My friend said He would. He asked me if I took a shower before I took a bath. He said I didn’t need to clean my life up to come to Jesus. 

This kind of grace seemed so foreign. Nevertheless, in 1977, I bent the knee and surrendered, best I knew how, to Jesus Christ as my Lord. I understood that at that point He took up resident in my heart by His Holy Spirit [1], but my life did not change for some time.

I believe my conversion to be genuine, but I really had no idea how to follow Jesus as His disciple. What I saw around me was much like the kids I’d avoided in elementary school; folks trying hard to follow rules they read about in the Bible. If we struggled, we read more scripture and kept striving. I’m sure most of us felt exhausted, but nobody let on. 

In 1985, things began to change. Susan and Louis Sutton, a couple in our church, asked my wife and I to be a part of a fellowship group. For about three years, before they began their missionary work in Chad, we did life together with them. During that time, I began to understand how completely different Christianity is from how I was living it.

I’d let following the rules become the most important thing and I’d missed the relationship with Jesus.

Though it took years for the truth to become a heart reality, the Suttons showed us that Christianity, at it’s essence, is about a relationship with Jesus, not following rules. The other stuff, the loving, the holy living, the following Jesus, would flow out of my relationship with Him. 

Putting the Cart Before the Horse

We’ve heard the saying putting the cart before the horse. Picture it a moment. The cart is first and the horse is behind it. How are we supposed to get anywhere? Does the horse push the cart?

As ridiculous as this sounds, putting following the rules before our relationship with Jesus is just as ridiculous.  Though I knew the truth in my heart, my life long tendency to earn my value by what I did, translated into my Christian life. After all, I had to accomplish good grades to pass in school. I had to perform well in the tryouts to make the little league team. I had to pass the required skills in scouts to move to the next class, etc. Though I knew Jesus’ record of perfection and His substitution for me on the cross is what brought me into God’s Kingdom, I had a hard time truly believing my efforts did not secure my status with God.

This was my experience before we met the Suttons and my perspective began to change. 

Rules can never pull the horse. The horse (our relationship with God, paid for by Jesus Christ) empowers our ability to follow Jesus as His disciples.

Righteousness is not because of anything we’ve done, but all because of Christ’s work on our behalf.

As we focus on our relationship with Jesus, not on keeping rules for Him, we begin to follow, out of love for Him, empowered by His Spirit.

Practice the Rhythm

Paul warned the Galatians about adopting a gospel of trying harder. 

I am amazed that you are so quickly deserting Him who called you by the grace of Christ, for a different gospel; which is really not another; only there are some who are disturbing you and want to distort the gospel of Christ. (Galatians 1:6-7 NASB)

Galatians 2:21 speaks of how ridiculous it is to try and keep the law to earn our righteousness.

I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness comes through the Law, then Christ died needlessly (NASB).

Don’t move quickly past the meaning of this verse. Would we, by striving to follow the rules to earn our right standing, be so foolish? If we do, Christ died and suffered needlessly.

We must be vigilant in our thinking. Does reading the Bible, serving at church, talking about Jesus, make us any closer to God? It’s very subtle. We must keep seeking to live in the flow of the Rivers of Living Water, [2] not in the dry and dusty land of self effort. All our exhausting, self motivated rule keeping is worth nothing. [3]

Prayer

Lord, please show me quickly when I once again lead with rule following as opposed to allowing what I say and do to flow from my relationship with You. You’ve called me to fiercely love all the folks you’ve put in my life, no matter how they treat me. I can’t do that if I cut off the flow of Your love by trying to follow rules in my own strength. I resolve to wait for You, to yield to You and to allow You to love through me.

[1] Ephesians 1:13-14

[2] John 7:37-39

[3] John 15:5

Previous posts in our From Duty to Delight Series:

Discipleship Rhythms: From Duty to Delight

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