(In the Moments) How to Overcome People Pleasing

May 16, 2025 robuck4@aol.com 2 Comments

My first year of Little League was a bust. I couldn’t connect with even an eleven-year-old fastball. Though our team won the championship, I felt like a worthless hindrance. By obligation, Coach Goodnight would send me to the plate, once every game or so, to take my three swings and sit down.

I felt like giving up, but I loved baseball. During the offseason, I spent a lot of time working on my eye hand coordination and improving my bat speed.

I imagine seeing me at tryouts the following year didn’t thrill Coach Goodnight. But, to my delight, my training paid off. I could connect on pitches, even from a twelve-year-old. He assigned me the starting second baseman role because I was a decent fielder.

One Saturday morning, as we warmed up for one of our home games, I saw that Pop, my paternal grandfather, had joined my mother in the stands. This delighted me and I especially wanted to play well.

Runners were on first and second when my first at-bat occurred. I can still picture the details in my mind over fifty years later. I swung hard at the first pitch. It was a outside, so being a righthanded batter, the ball lined between the first and second basemen, heading for the fence. As I rounded first base, I kept running past second and headed for third. I slid in ahead of the tag for a triple, driving in two runs.

It wasn’t a Mickey Mantle home run, but I couldn’t have been more excited. When the dust cleared and I stood on third base, I looked up into the crowd and singled out Pop. He had a huge grin on his face, wildly clapping. He was proud of me.

People Pleasing

Remembering similar instances reveals the importance of pleasing those we cherish. As children, parental acceptance and love are important, but we can easily equate our performance with our value. After all, we learn from an early age how our achievements bring us favor. Passing marks in school mean we get promoted to the next grade. Doing well during tryouts earns us a part in the play. Obeying our parents keeps us from being punished.

It’s easy to conclude that what we do determines how much we’re loved. But this contradicts the good news of Jesus Christ. Paul rebuked the Galatians sharply concerning their works-righteous “gospel,” particularly their people-pleasing.

As we have said before, even now I say again: if anyone is preaching to you a gospel contrary to what you received, he is to be accursed!

For am I now seeking the favor of people, or of God? Or am I striving to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ (Galatians 1:9-10 NASB).

Focused on Christ

We’re to live Godly lives but not to earn affection. Only God’s approval is necessary, and Jesus took care of that for us. Our right standing with God is based on what Christ has done, not on anything we could ever accomplish. [1]

Jesus modeled a life of setting aside His own will and living only to please His Father [2]. This focus freed Him from being bound by the actions and opinions of men. Resting in His Father’s love, Jesus didn’t need to depend on the opinions of men. And neither do we.

But Jesus, on His part, was not entrusting Himself to them, because He knew all people, and because He did not need anyone to testify about mankind, for He Himself knew what was in mankind (John 2:24-25 NASB).

Challenge

Do you, like me, sometimes struggle with equating your value with how others see you? Perhaps, like my first year of little league, you feel worthless because of your performance. A counselor once told me depending on what other’s think of you is like handing an identity box to someone else, a boss, a spouse, a friend. When we do this, we’re giving them power to assess our value.

God adopted us into His family as His children. Hidden in Christ Jesus [4], united with Him. In Christ, we already please God.

As believers, we’re left with a fundamental change. We must leave behind our dependence upon others for approval. We live now only to please our Father God. And, as we rest in Christ, His life in us is what pleases God.

Spend some time evaluating how you see yourself. You may be believing lies from long ago that the enemy is using to keep you in bondage and steal your joy. Your value is not in what people think about you. You’re not what you accomplish or the lies you believe about yourself. The truth of the matter is that you are what God thinks about you. As believers in Jesus Christ, we rest in God’s eternal, never changing love for us.

His perfect love casts out all fear, all of it. [5]

We get to set aside all worries of what people think of us and live every moment for our Audience of One, knowing his love and acceptance knows no bounds.

Prayer

Lord, as I picture Pop smiling and cheering me on that day so many years ago, I remember that You delight in me even more than he did. [6] Help me rest in Your love and acceptance, no matter how folks treat me. I trust in You alone. I release my addiction to worrying about what people think of me, my fear of letting folks down.

Help me never to depend upon any human for my well-being. May I continually trust in You alone.

Please keep me focused on You throughout each day. When I stray from living only for You, please remind me quickly.

Amen.

[1] II Corinthians 5:21, Ephesians 2:4-7

[2] John 5:30

[3] Ephesians 1:3-10

[4] Colossians 3:3

[5] I John 4:18

[6] Zephaniah 3:17

Other posts in our series In the Moments:

Sorrowful, Yet Always Rejoicing

Exploring Grace and Joy together

Stay Present My Friends

Quiddity. It Could Change Your Life

The Cake Maker’s Blunder

God at Work (No Trespassing)

Hidden with Christ in God

Finding Joy in Love and Relationships

Escaping the Rat Race

When I don’t Feel God’s Loving Kindness

Experiencing Completeness in Christ

Overcoming Pain Through Faith

Recalibrating Our Hearts

The Joy of Waiting

On the Fifth Day God Created Dog

When Things get Really Hard

A No Lose Situation, Even with Cancer

Hey Pop

Mustering Our Faith

Lord, You’ve Got to this. I Can’t

Better Than Life

Lord, if You are with us, why are all these things happening?

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

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Robby Buck

Nonfiction books by the Author:

Because joy is rooted in God and is eternal, it doesn’t ebb and flow with the waves of circumstances. In fact, as we grow in our understanding of joy, we can even experience it more acutely when life is hard. Why? Because God uses trials to conform us into the image of Christ. With this awareness, which gives us glimpses of God’s greater purposes, we rejoice because of His masterful work to free us from needing anything but Him.

For these reasons, and many others, joy in the Lord is commanded in scripture. It’s not just a good idea, it’s vital to our journey as human beings. Rhythms of Joy

Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for? Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in an old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains

Please Check out the Cola City Podcast . Discussions that impact the vision of reaching every man, woman, and child in a city.

God's Eternal Purposes, God's Greater Story

(In the Moments) If God is with us, why are These Things Happening?

May 6, 2025 robuck4@aol.com Leave a comment

While sitting in a dungy cell, John the Baptist shifted from pointing out Jesus as the Lamb of God to wondering if another should be expected.

Now when John, while imprisoned, heard of the works of Christ, he sent word by his disciples and said to Him, “Are You the Expected One, or shall we look for someone else?” (Matthew 11:2-3 NASB).

Jesus responded, telling John’s disciples to report to him that blind folks were seeing, the lame were walking, lepers were being cleansed, the dead were being raised, and the good news of the gospel was being preached to the poor. [1]

Then He said, “And blessed is he who does not take offense at Me,” (Matthew 11:6 NASB).

Others have had similar confusion.

After the angel of the Lord said to Gideon, “The Lord is with you, O valiant warrior.” (Judges 6:12 NASB) He asked, “O my lord, if the Lord is with us, why then has all this happened to us?” (Judges 6:13b NASB)

Since God is good and powerful, it seems natural to expect His presence to produce pleasant times.

During our hard times, how do we keep from stumbling and keep on trusting? How do keep on obeying and not become discouraged?

Blessed Are Those Who Don’t Take Offense

Jesus’ message to John the Baptist about folks being blessed when they don’t take offense at Him lets us know it’s possible to see things differently.

But how?

We get some ideas by reading what a couple of Jesus’ disciples wrote after years of following Him.

Peter

In fear of his life, Peter denied Christ three times, even with a curse. [2] Though he was one of Jesus’ closest disciples, he hadn’t yet grasped how God can use hard times to achieve something far greater than carefree days.

Around 40 years later, he wrote the following verses: In this (the fact that we have a constant hope, an inheritance which will never fail, and are guarded by God) you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which perishes though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise, glory, and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ; and though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, obtaining as the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls (I Peter 1:6-9 NASB).

Through these years, God had been at work, through Peter’s own trials, to give him a new view of God’s ways for His children.

Peter learned that trials may be required to prove our faith and deepen our trust in God, that eventually these trials will cause praise, glory, and honor. He also learned that even during trials, there’s a significant reason for us to rejoice and have expressible joy.

Peter’s transformation is a miracle. And God is at work in us to achieve something similar.

Paul

Until Jesus radically intervened in his life, Paul thought he was doing God’s bidding by killing Christians.

Like Peter, Christ taught Paul how hard times can deepen his trust and build his relationship with God.

See what he wrote in 2nd Corinthians 1:8-9, “For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers and sisters, of our affliction which occurred in Asia, that we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead.

It’s difficult to see the good when things are really hard, but Paul saw it took utter despair for him to learn to stop trusting in himself. The situation was so dire, he could only cry out to God. As a result, his faith grew.