When We Don’t Feel Loveable

You’ve heard about the guy who had it all: riches, fame, prestige, complete, earthy autonomy. He had everything going for him, but made some really bad choices and crashed and burned. It’s hard to imagine how anyone can get on the other side of adultery, murder, and the hostile rebellion of a son. He certainly reaped what he sowed, but we can learn from him on steps we can take to salvage our hearts on the other side of sin.

His troubles began one evening, when he really should have been working. In his leisure, a beautiful lady caught his eye.  He did more than just take a second look. When the smoke cleared, her husband was dead and she was pregnant. 

You’ve probably figured out by now, I’m speaking of King David, the man who wrote a majority of the Psalms.  It would be written of David that, in spite of his poor choices, he was a man after God’s own heart. [1]

How can this be? How did his heart recover from such devastation? How do we recover when we sin? What do we do when we don’t even want to approach God because of the shame we feel? What do we do when we don’t feel loveable?

Steps to Recovery

Momma Said There’d Be Days Like This

You’re running late for work. You stayed up late and overslept. As you gather your info for the presentation you’re in charge of, you plop a sausage biscuit in the microwave and pry on your dress shoes. The oven sounds and you retrieve your breakfast. As you grab your lunch from the fridge, you spot the mustard and add a dab to your biscuit.

As you back out of the driveway, you calculate that, barring bad traffic, you’ll arrive just in time for the start of the meeting. You can feel the pressure mount as you pull to a stop at the first red light, the one that seems to take forever. As you wait, you take a sip of coffee and think of the countless hours you put into this presentation for your companies’ top client.

“We have good reasons for them to stay with us,” your boss had said. “You just have to clearly show them why.”

As you near the ramp to the highway, you hear a train whistle. Tension mounts. “Please Lord!” you pray.

No deal. The crossing arm comes down two cars a ahead of you. You’re stuck, boxed in, with no way to take an alternate route. The train cars just keep on coming. You sip your coffee and pick up  the biscuit from the paper plate.

As you take a bite,  you get lost in the savory, crunchy delight. But then, as if in slow motion, you watch a large mustard drop escape from the back end of the biscuit as you take your second bite. Yellowness plops and spreads quickly down your blue dress shirt.  You look around. No napkins.

Your boss glares you down as you burst into the conference room, fifteen minutes late. A junior colleague stands up from the presentation desk and gives you a questioning look. Soon after you sit down, you realize why. In your late night weariness, you forgot to upload the presentation from your home computer to the companies’ shared folder.

In stunned disbelief and growing panic, the words of a song flash in your mind:

Mamma said there’ll be days like this
There’ll be days like this, mamma said.

Perhaps you’ve had days which feel this unnerving. I know I have. What steps do we take to recover?

The Shadow of Death

God has given me such a joy and delight in diving deeply into His words. I write to clarify my thinking and understanding, but also to share to encourage others, both those who confess Christ and those yet to become His disciple. Glenn Livingston (Guest Blogger)

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me (Psalm 23:4a).

In previous seasons of my life the shadow of death seemed a remote idea. But now, being over 80, I am sensing the continuing erosion, loss of my physical vitality and abilities to deal with life.  More and more it is as if my demise, my death is looming over me as an increasingly, uncomfortable shadow. This has caused me to pursue developing a Biblical Perspective regarding aging and death.

I find the Lord has given us great encouragement for dealing with living in the shadow of death as it relates to aging.  It’s not to be feared.  Is it not a natural process ungoverned by God? This season of life, with its attending suffering, is not without purpose.

In a general way God seeks to use the problems of our aging to sharpen our focus on the transcendent realities surrounding our existence.

And for those who are disciples of Jesus, to further develop our spirituality and use the way we deal with the difficulties of life, and our infirmities, to stimulate others in their faith and trust in God.

What Does God say about our Impending Death?

Soap

In the mid 1800s a large number of babies were dying soon after childbirth. During that time Ignaz Semmelweis, a Hungarian doctor, learned something which would change the medical community forever. In his studies he noticed more babies were dying after being delivered by medical students than by midwives. Digging deeper, he realized the students often performed autopsies prior to delivery, contaminating their hands with microbes.

Dr. Semmelweis instigated a regiment of hand washing which substantially dropped the number of infant deaths. Though soap had been around since Biblical times, its total benefit was not known until then. This began the great soap-related hygiene revolution which radically changed the medical field.

It’s amazing how a bit of knowledge about soap could save countless lives.

Is there knowledge we can gain which can have an even larger impact on us? 

Yes.

Thanksgiving Never Ends.

When I see this picture of an elderly hand grasping a tiny apple, it brings emotion. I’m not sure what the feelings are, but I think it’s a mixture of sadness and humble gratitude.

I don’t know the story behind the picture, but I do know three billion people in the world make less than two dollars a day. To that portion of the world, this small apple would be precious and the people would be thankful.

Am I thankful for a small apple? Sadly, much larger apples have spoiled in our fruit bowl and become chicken food. Compared to the poorest people, I live in a country with a medium income of over 50k. I’ve never wondered if I’d have food for the next meal. Has this deadened my heart to being appreciate for what God provides?

I don’t want to take for granted God’s blessings, but I have.

Lord, develop in me a heart of gratitude which extends beyond a single day of thanking.

Gratitude, Key to a Life of Joy

What I read felt totally outlandish. How could it be true? A good friend has a mass on their chest. They go in for a biopsy on Thursday. A marriage is in trouble. A job was lost. Relationships are broken. A long-time friend died of a brain tumor. Loved ones are sick. People are in deep emotional pain.

Considering things like this, what I read seems impossible. And it isn’t even a suggestion. It is a command.

Always be joyful.  Never stop praying.  Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus (I Thessalonians 5:16-18 NLT).

Be thankful in all circumstances?

I do believe God is for me and that His indwelling Spirit enables me to carry out what He commands. But to always be grateful is hard to imagine. How can it be?

Rhythms: UP (Communing with God)

Much has been written about folks communing with God and walking with Him throughout the day.

Enoch walked with God; and he was not, for God took him (Genesis 5:24 NASB).

These are the records of the generations of Noah. Noah was a righteous man, blameless in his generation. Noah walked with God (Genesis 6:9 NASB).

He guides me in the paths of righteousness For the sake of His name.  Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me (Psalm 23:3b-4a NASB).

Nevertheless I am continually with You; You have taken hold of my right hand.  You will guide me with Your plan, And afterward receive me to glory (Psalm 73:23-24 NASB).

God is faithful, through whom you were called into fellowship with His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord (I Corinthians 1:9 NASB).

As amazing as it seems, having intimate fellowship with the Creator of the Universe is possible for us right now. As believers, Jesus Christ indwells us by His Holy Spirit. He is always with us, as close as breathe. But do we acknowledge Him as we go?

For me the answers is: sometimes. But I want to know Him more deeply and communicate with Him more consistently, not only in my set aside times alone with Him, but also throughout the day.

After all, our access to God has been paid for by the precious blood of  Jesus, the Lamb of God, for the purpose of us experiencing eternal life, even now. And this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent (John 17:3 NASB).

Knowing God. Walking with Him, having fellowship with Him, communing with Him is possible. Today. This moment.

But how? 

Let’s look at a couple of rhythms for staying connected to God in true communion and fellowship.

In the Moments(Behold)

And so the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.  And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger” (Luke 2:10-11 NASB). 

Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God! Therefore the world does not know us, because it did not know Him (I John 3:1 NKJV).

Behold – perceive with the eyes, or any of the senses, notice, discern, discover, pay attention, observe, inspect, examine, understand.

Jerry

He used to be an elder at our church, but I haven’t seen Jerry since he completed his chemo treatments for his lymphoma.  I look forward to seeing him and celebrating the fact that he’s now cancer free. 

I arrive at Loveland’s, a popular coffee shop in Irmo, South Carolina. As a step through the doors, I’m  surprised to see a cluster of comfortable chairs unoccupied. Not seeing Jerry, I claim the spot and wait.

The Napkin

My thoughts drift back to the breakfast meeting I’d just completed with my son and our friend Seth. I’d opened my eyes during our closing prayer and was surprised by napkin. Stamped into this simple paper product were flowers with clearly defined petals, standing stalks of wheat and symmetrical lines and shapes of intricate detail.

So much went into such an insignificant item, but you had to take the time to notice it. I’m glad I did. It reminds me of all the colorful details God puts into the wings of butterflies and the flowers of the field for us to enjoy. If we will. 

Knees to Knees

Still deep in thought, I’m a bit startled when Jerry suddenly appears. He’d been seated at another part of the shop and we’d missed each other. He sits in the chair to my right and turns towards me. Knees to knees he calls it.

I feel his pastoral heart as he asks me about how I’m handling the passing of my little sister, Marlee, a couple of weeks ago. I tell him it’s been hard, but that I think I’m learning how to grieve.

Rhythms: UP (When Things Get Really Hard)

God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change And though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea; Though its waters roar and foam,
Though the mountains quake at its swelling pride (Psalm 46:1-3 NASB).

We know the value of receiving and knowing the love of God.

We know the Holy Spirit indwells us to empower us and guide our ways.

We know we’ve been raised up with Christ and given an eternal orientation.

We know God alone is our Highest Joy.

We know loving like Jesus fills our lives with joy.

We’re learning to build our lives around these and other spiritual  fundamentals. However, when things get hard we can loose sight.

What can keep us courageous during life’s gut punches?

 The Gut Punch

Really hard circumstances can feel like a gut punch. These severe trials, which send us staggering for stable footing, making us feel as if we’ve been swept onto an avalanche of shifting sand.

The death of a loved one, a severed relationship, acute health issue, financial collapse, etc. can lead to emotional turmoil. These heart breaks threaten our ability to cope with new realities and life’s never ending demands.

Following are a coupe of solid rocks of truth which always hold, no matter what. They can give us courage, even during the tragedies of life?

Rhythms: UP (What in the World am I Doing for Heaven’s Sake?)

Live with the End in Mind

Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth (Colossians 3:1-2 NASB).

In the above verses, Paul gives us a framework for how to position our minds in a way which will change how we view and live each day.

Since we, as children of God, are in Christ, we’ve been raised up with Him. Though physically we still reside on earth we’re to keep seeking His will and we’re to set our minds on things of eternal value.

This type of living keeps us in the flow of Jesus’ joy.

But, how does it play out on a Monday afternoon?