Tag Archives: grief

Trusting God through very hard times, Waiting

When God Says Wait

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Growing up, I had an idealistic scenario of what I hoped my future would be like. My aim was a life of peace and circumstantial happiness. But it didn’t take long to realize reality is far different.

When I gave my life to Jesus Christ, I figured it would be much better since I’d chosen the right path. What I didn’t factor in is true life is about something far greater than comfort and smooth circumstances.

God is working for my good, but He alone knows what that is. Sometimes we face hard, confusing situations. Jesus tells us we’ll experience troubles , but we wonder why since all they seem to produce is pain. [1]

In a broken relationship my wife and I are facing with a close family member, God seems to have erected a ‘God at Work – No Trespassing’ sign. We’ve done all we know to do.

We pray ferociously. We cry out. We wait.

The following steps help:

Don’t Pretend 

Don’t pretend all is well. Acknowledge life is different than you had hoped. Accept the loss and feel the pain.

Lord, I call You near in the depths of my grief. You’re the God of all Comfort. Sooth my pain with the Joy of Your presence.[2]

Celebrate God’s Faithfulness

Celebrate the fact that God has seen you through tough times before and trust He will do it again in this situation.

Lord, You’ve been so faithful through so many difficulties. Looking back, I certainly see how You’ve used these trials for me to give up trying to live life on my own and to trust You.[3] The eternal work You’ve done in my soul makes this very hard situation worth it.  It has strengthened me emotionally and spiritually. It has drawn me closer to my bride.

Stop Fretting

Fret – to be worried or anxious.

Catch yourself in the act of fretting about what you can’t change. This is in the Lord’s hands. Decide to stop trying to figure things out.

Lord, I trust You to invite me into this difficulty when You’re ready. I don’t want to thwart what You’re doing. In the meantime, I trust You’re at work in the lives of all involved in ways I may never understand.

Focus on What’s Beautiful

Focus on the beautiful things on this side of the ‘God at Work’ sign.

With the birds, celebrate the waking of the new day. Look your loved ones in the face and take in every precious moment. Stay present. Engage your senses in all of God’s moments. Savor. Acknowledge God’s nearness in every detail of His creation.

Though we may feel as if we’ve failed, in Christ, we believers are complete. [4] and no situation can change that.  We died, and our lives are now hidden with Christ in God.[5]

Lord, in You I’m okay, even if this situation is never resolved. I’m free to enjoy life’s moments with You, in spite of  any unexpected situation. 

Take Time to Draw Near

But as for me, the nearness of God is my good; (Psalm 73:28a NASB)

Lord, my heart is ready to be glad. In you, I rejoice always, even when life takes a turn which threatens my sense of well being. Through it all, my eyes are on You. My faith is growing because of this hard reality in ways I would have never thought possible.  I draw closer to You every day because of it. I don’t need this situation to work out to be okay.

You are enough.

My life is oriented from things above where I’m seated with You. My comfort is not the most important thing. Please continue Your work while I wait.

Yet those who wait for the Lord
Will gain new strength;
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary.  (Isaiah 40:31 NASB)

[1] John 16:33

[2] II Corinthians 1:3-5

[3] II Corinthians 1:8-9

[4] Colossians 2:9-10

[5] Colossians 3:3

Other Posts on enduring Hard Times:

When Things Get Hard

Turing Drainers into Gainers

Can we be Sad and Glad at the Same Time?

Casting Your Burdens

Knowing God’s Love in Spite of the Circumstances

Mustering our Faith

Fixing Our Hope on What Lasts

Dealing with Sadness and Disappointment

I Can’t Do This

Longing Hearts

Until the Darkness Fades

Finding the Silver Lining

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in a old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family Hope Remains

In the Moment, Surprised by Joy, The Nearness of God

In the Moments(Behold)

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And so the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.  And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger” (Luke 2:10-11 NASB). 

Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God! Therefore the world does not know us, because it did not know Him (I John 3:1 NKJV).

Behold – perceive with the eyes or any of the senses, notice, discern, discover, pay attention, observe, inspect, examine, understand.

Jerry

He used to be an elder at our church, but I haven’t seen Jerry since he completed his chemo treatments for his lymphoma.  I look forward to seeing him and celebrating the fact that he’s now cancer free. 

I arrive at Loveland’s, a popular coffee shop in Irmo, South Carolina. As a step through the doors, I’m  surprised to see a cluster of comfortable chairs unoccupied. Not seeing Jerry, I claim the spot.

The Napkin

As I wait, my thoughts drift back to the breakfast meeting I’d just completed with my son and our friend Seth. I’d opened my eyes during our closing prayer and was surprised by a napkin. Stamped into this simple paper product were flowers with clearly defined petals, standing stalks of wheat and symmetrical lines and shapes of intricate detail.

So much went into such an insignificant item, but you had to take the time to notice it. I’m glad I did. It reminds me of all the colorful details God puts into the wings of butterflies and the flowers of the field for us to enjoy. If we will. 

Knees to Knees

Still deep in thought, I’m a bit startled when Jerry suddenly appears. He’d been seated at another part of the shop and we’d missed each other. He sits in the chair to my right and turns towards me. Knees to knees he calls it.

I feel his pastoral heart as he asks me about how I’m handling the passing of my little sister, Marlee, a couple of weeks ago. I tell him it’s been hard, but that I think I’m learning how to grieve.

As I travel these waters of loss, I seem to be able to feel more keenly. Even in this true sadness, there’s also been a deeper appreciation of  all of life’s emotions. Through it all, I’m discovering God is enough. Strange how pain is leading me to a more tangible awareness of His sufficiency.

Jerry talks about his journey with cancer, the chemotherapy and the delight of being declared cancer free.  He and his bride, Ginny, have had their separate battles with cancer. Hers has been breast cancer. Through it all, they’ve fought together side by side, a beautiful thing. They are closer, like foxhole buddies.

His world shrunk as he was forced to slow down. He’s seen tremendous benefit in stillness and quiet. He is being restored. 

Jerry’s Focus for The Year

As our time winds down, Jerry tells me about two focal points he brought into the beginning of this year. Two phrases which have defined his journey; beginning before there was even a thought of cancer:

  • In the Moment
  • Surprised by Joy.

In the Moment

Staying present in every situation.  As much as possible, bringing our senses into the appreciation of life’s moments. As we discuss it, I think of the napkin and it’s hidden details. It makes me want to slow down and be much more observant. If there can be so much to appreciate in a man-made paper product, what treasures in God’s vast creation await me?

And how about people? How often do I rush past the people God places in my path because I’m distracted by some duty or am caught up with some random train of thought?

God breathed His image into humans.  Each person has uniqueness ready to be discovered.

Surprised by Joy

Jerry explains that even though “Surprised by Joy” is the title of a book by C.S. Lewis, he has his own understanding of the term. Joy is surprising him where he would least expect it. As he talks, I get what he means.

How would we ever expect to find joy in things like cancer and death? This strange sensation can only be explained by the Lord’s presence and our journey with Him in the depths of our pain. 

Nevertheless I am continually with You;
You have taken hold of my right hand.
You will guide me with Your plan,
And afterward receive me to glory (Psalm 73:23-24 NASB).

Jerry wants to be open to joy in whatever turn his life takes. Come what may, Jerry knows the Lord is his highest joy and worldly circumstances can’t thwart this. This unexpected year has given him ample opportunity to experience the joy of God’s nearness in the midst of his moments. 

You will make known to me the way of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
In Your right hand there are pleasures forever (Psalm 16:11 NASB)

My Challenge

Not only is God with me in the grief over Marlee’s death and everything else I’m going though, but He has also created a vast world of treasures for me to behold with Him.

My challenge is to identify and eliminate all threats to recognizing His nearness .  These distraction can be external, like electronic devices and busyness. Or they can be internal thoughts which rob my peace. 

Prayer

Lord,

What a great morning of discovery. From the amazement of a napkin to the appreciation of time spent with a wise brother, You are calling me to slow down and behold the moments of life.

I’m sorry for how easy it is for me to be distracted by the noise of this world. There’s so much You want to show me. Please call me quickly to You when I stray. I want to behold life with You.

Thank you for how You surprise me with the joy of Your presence. No matter what I face, You are always with me.

I love you Lord.

Epilogue

As I finish this post, I get a text from Jerry – “Thanks for the obituary of your sister. The message, “God is enough”, was repeated and reinforced to me through the whole week. Having coffee at Hardee’s this morning, I was “in the moment” watching a flock of white seagulls in the parking lot in front of Food Lion against a beautiful sky. Nature speaks of God.” Jerry

Even if it’s been a tough year for you, consider this Advent season an opportunity to meet with God, to hear from Him, and to respond to the gentle nudges of the Holy Spirit within you. Nothing will nourish your soul like resetting your pace to match the Savior’s rhythm for you. Nothing re-energizes like saying no to your flesh so you can say yes to the Holy Spirit who’s ready and willing to work in you. Susie Larson

 

Other posts in our series In The Moments:

As Sea Gulls Fly

The Gift of Presence

It is Finished

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

Novels by the Author:

What happens when a professor figures out how to send messages to his younger self to try and avoid the suicide of his best friend? Did he change more than he bargained for?  Beyond Time

By finding two undelivered letters in a old shack deep in the woods, Cassie and Daniel unknowing set off a series of events which uncover a plot to wipe out a whole family. Hope Remains

God of all Comfort

Our Highest Joy (Dealing with Sadness and Disappointment)

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Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ (II Corinthians 1:3-5 NASB).

Guarded Heart

I first saw my father drunk when my mother wasn’t at home. I was around ten years old and the oldest child. When I saw him stagger and fall, I couldn’t process the emotions. I felt numb. A few years later his drinking would cost him his job, his marriage and almost his life.

A trusted counselor once told me the armor I used to guard my heart as a kid served me well, but I’ve outgrown it now. I needed to learn how to explore and process some ancient pain. But I wasn’t really sure how.

The Difference Between Sadness and Disappointment

One of the characters in a novel I’m reading mentioned being disappointed with God. I don’t attribute my disappointment with God, but I do recognize the feeling of disappointment and wonder how it differs from sadness.

Research tells me sadness implies grieving something we’ve had and lost. Disappointment deals with the lost of the hope of something. The distinction seems helpful in sorting through some of the feelings of loss I still need to deal with.

Jesus is our Highest Joy, but Emotional Pain Shouldn’t be Ignored  

Our Highest Joy (Unmasking the Lie)

Though, as children of God, we’re hopefully growing in our heartfelt understanding that He Himself is what gives us lasting fulfillment, satisfaction and happiness, dealing with our emotional pain is very important. Exploring old wounds and freeing captured parts of our hearts can free us to enjoy the presence of the Lord more authentically.

In a recent journal entry, this is what I sense God was saying to me concerning my emotional pain: Don’t deny the sadness and disappointments in your life. Keep bringing it all to me. The old ones, the new ones. There’s hurt, but like light and salt heal physical wounds, there’s freedom and healing when you call Me near. I’m the God of all comfort. I want to bind every crevice of your broken heart with the Joy of My presence. To the extent you allow My Oil of Gladness in to soften and soothe your pain, true compassion will grow. And as the more hidden places in your heart are brought to My Life and Light, the more you’ll experience the Joy of us being together.

Challenge

Do you have sadness or disappointment which has caused or is causing great grief? Bring an especially painful one to mind. Have you denied the gravity of how this has affected you?  Have you minimized the impact to your own detriment and to the harm of others?

Though accessing this great pain may take your breath away, it may be time to unlock, deep crusted over parts of your heart, long ago abandoned. Ask Jesus to draw near. He is near to the broken hearted.[1]

Prayer

Lord, thank you for showing me how important it is to call you near in my sadness and disappointment. Thank you for showing me that denying my deep emotional pain is not what you intend. Some of these losses are extremely hard. My heart and eyes still sting when I embrace the magnitude of hurt and loss. But You are my Life. These feelings are not a surprise to you, Jesus. Isaiah described you as a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief.[2] You know my inner most parts. You knit me together.[3]

Amen.

Epilogue

Within hours after writing this, as I invited the Lord into deeper layers of my own sadness and disappointment, a sense of undefined discouragement began to creep in. This feeling lasted over a day. I felt zapped of strength, with little motivation to perform life’s normal duties. I’ve been told this mood is common-place for some folks. It’s rare for me and gives me an appreciation for those who battle depression.

Though I didn’t feel it, I clung desperately to what God says about His love for me. The next day, the cloud began to lift. I’m learning to believe God’s love and hold on to it, even when I don’t understand it or feel it.

The Lord appeared to him long ago, saying, “I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore I have drawn you out with kindness (Jeremiah 31:3 NASB).

My father came to saving faith in Jesus Christ later in life. Though he struggled with his alcoholism even after his conversion, his eventual total dependence upon the Lord with his drinking problem led to sober living the last fifteen years of his life. Dad’s story

[1] Psalm 34:18

[2] Isaiah 53:3

[3] Psalm 139:13

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures.

Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 Novels by the Author:

Beyond Time

Hope Remains

God's Comfort, God's Love

God’s Love in a Broken World

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He was despised and forsaken of men, A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; (Isaiah 53:3a NASB)

It’s a cold rainy day and we don’t have to go anywhere until later. I’m soaking in the comfort of being with my bride and our dog before a warm fire. Sipping my coffee, I’m reveling in the reality of God’s presence. I don’t always feel His nearness, but I know He indwells me and is always closer than breath. I’m learning to find my completeness in His love no matter how unloving the world around me might be. For me, the path to experiencing His love more fully has been through sadness.

Until recently, I believed sadness was to be avoided at all costs. How could it be good? How can I function during it?

But I’ve noticed when I avoid dealing with my sorrow, I’m not being true to myself. I feel detached. I’m learning pain is there for a reason and I can’t afford to deny it. My heart must be tended to.

What’s helped me more that anything is knowing Jesus was known as a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief. My Savior understands. When I bring my pain to Him, His comfort is real.

He said, “In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33b NASB)

We live in a broken world. What goes on now is not what will be. But Jesus invites me to draw near to Him in my sadness. When I do, the joy of His nearness overshadows my pain.

 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. (II Corinthians 1:3-4 NASB)

 When I tend to my heart and call Jesus near in my pain, the Man of Sorrows meets me. His nearness is the oil of gladness which soothes the crevices of my crusty heart. It’s strange how dealing with grief, and not avoiding it, can be the path to experiencing a deeper measure of God’s love.

Hannah Hurnard, in her book Hind’s Feet on High Places, writes of Much-Afraid’s travels with Sorrow and Suffering. They were unwelcome, but very necessary companions on her journey to the top of the mountain. When she arrived, her Shepherd, the King gave her new names of Grace and Glory. Her companions Sorrow and Suffering were renamed Joy and Peace.

I’m understanding the value of not running from Sorrow and Suffering in my own journey. Though these companions aren’t comfortable, they usher me to the Comforter who give me a Joy and Peace which can not be shaken by any circumstance.

There are so many broken hearts in this broken world. Creation groans for the redemption of the bodies of God’s adopted sons and daughters at Christ’s return.[1]

In the midst of Sorrow and Suffering, Christ offers a deeper measure of His Love in the Joy and Peace of his nearness. He is our Comforter, waiting to be called near.

For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for a lifetime; Weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning. (Psalm 30:5 NASB)

 Lord, I’m sorry for running from sadness. What a relief to know that sorrow and suffering are a part of your path to Joy and Peace. I’ve spent so much effort trying to carve out a happy heart when all along it was okay to be sad. Please teach me to tend to my heart in times of sorrow and not seek only a carefree life. I’m amazed how much more I understand your love for me because of my journey with Sorrow and Suffering. Thank you.

[1] Romans 8:22-24

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures. Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post once a week. Thank you for reading. 

Novels by the Author:

Beyond Time

Hope Remains

What is Comfort?, What is Joy?

Comfort and Joy Revealed

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 One of my favorite Christmas songs is God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen. The lyrics include, “Let nothing you dismay. Remember Christ our Savior was born on Christmas Day. To save us all from Satan’s power when we were gone astray. Oh, tidings of comfort and joy.”

These words speak to me. I want to walk around in comfort and joy, but I need to understand what this really means. I have to admit,  I love comfort (ease and freedom from pain and grief). Don’t we all? From my soft down pillows to my built-in propensity to pursue relief from pain at all costs, I’m a comfort junkie.

But this kind of comfort can’t be what’s meant by the words. Christ’s coming hasn’t signaled ease and pain-free living. Far from it. To reconcile the difference,  I turn to Scripture:

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ. (II Corinthians 1:3-5 NASB)

Somehow Paul is able to mention affliction (pressure, a pressing together, tribulation, distress) and comfort in the same sentence? He calls the Lord the God of all comfort, able to comfort us in all our afflictions. I know God’s isn’t an Eternal Pain Relief. He is able to relieve all pain, but often He chooses to supersede our sufferings with the Joy of His presence. The Greek word Paul used for “comfort” means to call to one side, to summon near. True comfort is God’s nearness.

When I found out about my mother’s cancer moments after my Sebring’s motor seized up, leaving me stranded on a barren rural road, I sensed God’s nearness. It didn’t alleviate the pain, but His presence gave me a deep sense of well-being. My outer world was crashing down around me, but I sensed a joy deep within. Would I have known the extent of His Comfort and Joy without that experience? I don’t think so.

The night before He died, Jesus told His disciples about the “Comforter” sent to be with us forever, His Holy Spirit.

  • Comfort and Joy is always available
  • Comfort and Joy is not a feeling
  • Comfort and Joy is a Person

Rest merry Gentlemen. In the Joy of God’s Presence, there’s nothing to dismay. Remember. Christ,  Our Savior, was born on Christmas day. He’s saved us all from Satan’s spell, even when we’d wondered far away. In Christ,  there’s true Comfort and Joy no matter what comes our way.

Lord, when I began pondering the words of this song earlier today, comfort and joy were far from me. The swirl of the world had distracted me from the joy of Your nearness. Thank you for bringing me back to the simplicity of Your continual presence. Your Comfort and Joy is much more powerful than any earthly happening. Please help me to always remember this. 

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures. Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post once a week. Thank you for reading. 

Novels by the Author:

Beyond Time

Hope Remains

Completely Loved, Free to Love

Longing Hearts

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“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted , And saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18 NASB)

Holidays can be hard when we’re missing folks we love. Longings brought on by death, distance and estrangement are extenuated during times of togetherness and celebration. These situations affect most families. Common survival techniques include pretending, numbing and busyness. They don’t work.

As the holidays approach, I’ve been asking God for His comfort when people I love are absent. I’m asking for clarity and a deeper understanding of His love. I know He’s with me through all of life’s struggles, especially when my heart aches.

In the comfort of His nearness I’m learning:

God’s Love Fills Every Fiber of My Longing Heart

David wrote:

“My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You in a dry and weary land where there is no water.”[1]

“One thing I have asked from the Lord, that I shall seek: That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, To behold the beauty of the Lord, And to meditate in His temple.”[2]

“You have put gladness in my heart , More than when their grain and new wine abound.”[3]

As much as I miss folks who are absent, there’s a growing awareness of God’s nearness and His preeminent love. His love fills my longing heart to overflowing.

Henri Nouwen calls God’s love our first love and all other loves second. He says we get crushed when we begin to demand from lesser loves what only God can give.[4] “God has created you and me with a heart that only God’s love can satisfy. And every other love will be partial, will be real but limited, will be painful.”[5]

Human absence Deepens Dependence on God’s Love

Nouwen also said that if we’re willing to not let the pain of lesser loves make us bitter, it will prune us and give us a deeper sense of our being beloved by God. When this happens, we can be free as Jesus.[6]

As much as the absence of those we love can hurt,  it can drive us deeper into the unfailing love of God in Christ. This growing awareness of God’s unconditional, never ending love fortifies our longing hearts and infuses us with the Joy of God’s nearness.

Resting in God’s Love Frees us to Love

Jesus said, “As the Father has loved Me, so I have loved you; Now remain in My love.” (John 15:9 NIV)

As I’m learning to walk in God’s love for me, soaking in the completeness of His embrace, He’s bringing freedom. Unchained from incapacitating grief, I can love the people who are near, as He’s loved me.

Lord, You’ve heard the pain of my longing heart. You’re teaching me of Your great love. Human love was never meant to satisfy. You complete me, freeing me to love with no expectations.  If I can’t be with the ones I love, allow me to love the ones I’m with.  

[1] Psalm 63:1

[2] Psalm 27:4

[3] Psalm 4:7

[4] Documentary – Journey of the Heart: Henri Nouwen

[5] The Hour of Power June 1992

[6] Documentary – Journey of the Heart: Henri Nouwen

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures. Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post once a week. Thank you for reading. 

Novels by the Author:

Beyond Time

Hope Remains

Trusting God through very hard times

God at Work (No Trespassing)

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Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6 NASB)

When I was younger, I had an idea of how I thought my life would turn out, or at least how I hoped it would. I expected good health, peaceful relationships and smooth circumstances. I figured things might turn out differently, but what I didn’t realize is how much I’d tied my sense of well being to how my life was going. As a result, when the inevitable, unexpected twists occurred, I found myself on shaky ground, searching for something lasting to fill my need for joy. Perhaps you can relate.

It’s a midspring morning. I take a sip of my favorite kind of coffee, strong and dark with a little bit of stevia and cream. I’m beginning to feel the sun’s warmth cutting through the new day coolness, but it’s not high enough to blaze over the leafy green canopy. There’s no break in the constant symphony of birds singing above and in the forest beyond.

I want to celebrate the new day with as much melodious joy as these birds, but I need to be sure I’m still trusting God in these unexpected paths my life has taken. I have no doubt He’s with me, but in one situation He’s erected a ‘God at Work’ sign and He wants me to honor it. He’ll invite me in when He’s ready. In the meantime, my job is ferocious prayer.

A neighbor, walking her dogs, sees me and walks down the driveway to chat. She asks about our new dog, Lily, rescued off the streets on Good Friday.

We talk about shade flowers and how my bride and I plan on adding some color to our water garden next to the porch.

When she leaves, I continue my preparation for the new day. Years ago, I would have denied the gravity of the very painful parts of life, feeling what I could, stuffing the rest and keeping on best I could. But now that I’m learning how to properly steward my feelings, I see how denying emotional pain desensitizes my heart and makes it hard for me to discern God’s nearness.

If I’m to truly rejoice with the birds, I need to rehearse the steps I believe God has given me to help me honor His ‘God at Work’ sign in this very hard situation.

  • Don’t try to pretend all is well. Acknowledge my life is different than I hoped. Accept the loss and feel the pain. Lord, I call You near in the depths of my grief. You’re the God of all Comfort. Sooth my pain with the Joy of Your presence.[1]Celebrate the fact that God has seen me through tough times and trust He will do it again in this situation. Lord, You’ve been so faithful through so many difficulties. Looking back, I certainly see how You’ve used these trials for me to give up trying to live life on my own and to trust You.[2] The eternal work You’ve done in my soul makes this very hard situation worth it. When it first began, I would have never thought this to be the case, but now my heart tells me it’s true. This very hard situation has strengthened me emotionally and spiritually to the point that it is actually worth it. Thank You Lord.
  • Catch myself in the act of feeling bad about what I can’t change. This is in the Lord’s hands. Decide to stop trying to figure things out. Lord, I trust You to invite me into this difficulty when You’re ready. I don’t want to thwart what You’re doing. In the meantime, I trust You’re at work in the lives of all involved in ways I may never understand.
  • Focus on the beautiful things on this side of the ‘God at Work’ sign. Even though this situation is one I never expected, it doesn’t make my life incomplete. It’s easy for me to feel like a failure, but in Christ, I am complete.[3] I died, and my life is now hidden with Christ in God.[4]  Lord, in You I’m okay, even if this situation is never resolved. I’m free to enjoy life’s moments with You in spite of, and in the midst of, any unexpected situation. 

But as for me, the nearness of God is my good; (Psalm 73:28a NASB)

Lord, my heart is ready to be glad. In you, I rejoice always, even when life takes a turn which threatens my sense of well being. Through it all, my eyes are on You. My faith is growing because of this hard reality in ways I would have never thought possible.  I draw closer to You every day because of it. I don’t need this situation to work out to be okay.

You are enough.

My life is oriented from things above where I’m seated with You. My comfort is not the most important thing. Please continue Your work while I wait.

Lord, as I walk into this new day, show me who You want to love through me. Complete my joy as I love others as You’ve loved me, abiding always in Your love.[5]

Yet those who wait for the Lord
Will gain new strength;
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary.  (Isaiah 40:31 NASB)

Joy in the Journey is about the gladness of God’s nearness in the midst of life’s adventures. Subscribe below to get email notifications of new posts. We post a few times a month. Thank you for reading. 

 Novels by the Author:

Beyond Time

Hope Remains

[1] II Corinthians 1:3-5

[2] II Corinthians 1:8-9

[3] Colossians 2:9-10

[4] Colossians 3:3

[5] John 15:9-12

Joy Defined, Joyful Heart, Joyful Strength

How Can the Joy of the Lord be our Strength?

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Weeping

God’s people were weeping. They’d been through years of exile in a foreign land, but were back in Jerusalem, gathered before the newly rebuilt Water Gate. Ezra, the priest, asked for the book of the Law of Moses to be brought forth. He read it from early morning to midday. The people were attentive and greatly moved.[1]

Then Ezra blessed the Lord the great God. And all the people answered, “Amen, Amen!” while lifting up their hands; then they bowed low and worshiped the Lord with their faces to the ground (Nehemiah 8:6) NASB.

From hearing the law of God, something was awakened deep within the people. A longing for God was stirred up. They began to weep.[2]

A Call to Joy

When Nehemiah heard the people weeping, he said to them, “This day is holy to the Lord your God; do not mourn or weep.” (Nehemiah 8:9)

Then he said to them, “Go, eat of the fat, drink of the sweet, and send portions to him who has nothing prepared; for this day is holy to our Lord. Do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength” (Nehemiah 8:10).

David had written years before, “In Your presence is fullness of joy” (Psalm 16:11b).

In this time of grieving, of weeping, of longing for God, the people needed to be encouraged. Their hearts needed to be infused with the joy of the Lord which grows with His nearness.

What is Joy?

The word Hebrew for joy Nehemiah used to cheer the people literally means gladness. But joy has much deeper implications than just being happy.

In his autobiography, Surprised by Joy, C.S. Lewis describes joy as the experience “of an unsatisfied desire which is itself more desirable than any other satisfaction.”[4] He goes on to say that joy only has one characteristic in common with happiness and pleasure, “the fact that anyone who has experienced it will want it again.”[5]

So this experience called Joy is an awakening in our hearts of a longing for God, knit into every fabric of our being. Joy exuding from the Lord, awakens our longing for Him and invites us further into His presence.

Enjoy

God has given us many things to enjoy. Nehemiah commands the people to enjoy eating the fat of the land and to drink of the sweet, making glad their hearts. These enjoyments are a physical manifestation of Joy flowing from God’s bounty of delight. He wants us to enjoy what He’s created.

Then Nehemiah directs the people to ultimate Delight, to God Himself.

Do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength” (Nehemiah 8:10b).

The Joy of the Lord is Your Strength

Joy, of the Lord. Full Joy, exuding from the Lord’s nearness, quickening the heart, inviting us deeper. As our hearts are cheered with stable, eternal Joy, unaffected by any worldly circumstance, courage is born. A cheerful, courageous heart gives us strength.

A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones (Proverbs 17:22).

When Joy of eternal quality cheers the heart, a courage and strength of the same type emerges.

How Can The Joy of the Lord Be our Strength?

  • The Joy of the Lord is our strength when we determine to have no joys above Him, no relationship, no possession, no achievement, no security, no delight.
  • The Joy of the Lord is our strength when we recognize all earthy pleasures as coming directly from His heart to us, designed to be enjoyed, not apart from Him, but as part of our enjoyment of Him.
  • The Joy of the Lord is our strength when we recognize that the experience of joy is not an end in itself, but a longing to draw us to God Himself. Joy is an invitation.
  • The Joy of the Lord is our strength when we realize that enjoying God above all earthly delights brings Him glory.

Prayer

Lord, so many things compete for my delight in You. I’m guilty of “requiring” the circumstances of my life to be okay for me to have joy. I’m so sorry. Thank You for showing me that eternal, rock solid joy is found in You at all times. Thank You that as my heart is cheered in You, courage arises. Finding my eternal joy in You, gives me strength for even the most difficult trials. Long time griefs, which seem to have no end, have threatened to discourage and dishearten me. But You are my Joy. When I see this and trust it, my heart is cheered and courage emerges. This gives me strength in these most difficult trials. Thank you dear Lord, my King, my Sovereign, my Joy.

 

[1] Nehemiah 8:3-6

[2] Nehemiah 8:9

[3] C.S. Lewis, Surprised by Joy, pp. 17–18.

[4] Ibid, p.18

Novels by the Author:

Beyond Time

Hope Remains

Fighting for Joy, Transforming Joy

Fighting Discouragement

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Been fighting discouragement all day, a general oppressive mood. I’m a IT instructor, so I can’t check my mind at the door and fully deal with how I’m feeling, I have to keep going. However, I’m learning to acknowledge my feelings and not just stuff them. This process is new for me and I’m not always sure how to proceed. However, it’s adding richness to my life and helping me understand who I really am.

Digging deeper, I recognize my disheartened mood stems from sadness. People I love are  hurting. Their pain grieves me.

“Lord, is there anything I can do?”

I feel helpless to help.

The day moves on. No one knows my sadness. Outwardly, I lay out the material and field the questions. I care about my students. So, this keeps me engaged.

The day comes to an end. On the drive home,  I begin to tend to my feelings. I realize this discouragement is an attack upon my heart, the well spring of my life.

I remember the French word for heart is “cour,” yielding our word “courage”. This dis-couragement I’m feeling threatens my courage.

I decide to preach good news to myself:

These present circumstances are not worthy to be compared to the glories which await me in Christ Jesus.[1]

Jesus loves me as much as God the Father loves Him.[2]

My Lord is  God of all comfort, who sooths my heart with His nearness.[3]

Jesus Christ indwells me by His Holy Spirit.  Mine is to depend upon Him for every word and deed. [4]

In spite of these circumstances, I can experience full joy in God’s presence.[5]

This sadness can be considered a good thing, if it draws me into deeper dependence upon Christ. [6]

Bringing these feelings to God, and trusting Him in them, purifies my soul and leads to joy unspeakable and full of glory.[7]

I died and Christ is now my life. My affections are on Him and His desires.   [8]

My goodness is not dependent on how things are going or how I feel. God’s nearness is my good.[9]

Truth stirs my heart. Courage wells up. God’s life within begins to relieve my pain.

Prayer:  Wow.   Lord, you are transforming my heart by the sweetness of your truth. Your words are honey to my soul. My circumstances have not changed, but you have given me renewed vigor. You have filled my soul with gladness, more than when their grain and new wine abound. I praise you my Father, my King.

 

[1] Romans 8:18

[2] John 15:9

[3] 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

[4] Galatians 2:20

[5] Psalm 16:11

[6] James 1:2-4

[7] I Peter 1:6-9

[8] Colossians 3:1-4

[9] Psalm 73:28

Chosing Joy, Joy

Can Joy be a Choice?

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“Joy does not simple happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep on choosing it every day.”  Henri Nouwen

Violet

A few months ago I crowded in a chapel attending the funeral of a little girl named Violet. Violet died during her birth, the first child of Joseph and Judy.

Many wore violet articles of clothes to the service, honoring her life and her parent’s courage. Though Violet’s life was short, she impacted us all.

After the service, we were all given violet helium balloons to release on cue. When we did, the sky was filled with floating circles of purple, growing smaller and smaller as they drifted to the heavens; a salute to violet’s life and a message of love to her from us all.

As inspirational as the balloons were, what hit me most was Violet’s parent’s response. We learned from the eulogy that in the midst of incalculable sadness and grief, Joseph and Judy were choosing joy.

 Choosing Joy?

As I ponder Joseph and Judy’s resolve, I wonder how it’s possible to choose joy just days after her death.

How could this really be true? Isn’t joy supposed to be something good? Seeing the pain on Judy and Joseph’s face, I’m conflicted.

Paul’s command in I Thessalonians 5:16 comes to mind, one of the shortest verses in the Bible: “Rejoice always;”

The word ‘rejoice’ is from the old French word ‘rejoiur’, which means full of joy.

I’m to be full of joy even when my circumstances are difficult. I’m to rejoice always. But this is extreme. An only child is dead. Are we to be full of joy even then? My heart fights this notion.

What makes choosing joy possible?

In another place I read “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice!” Philippians 4:4

Be full of joy in the Lord.

God is joy. He is the source of joy, it exudes from Him. “In your presence is fullness of Joy.” Psalm 16:11b

Choosing joy is choosing God in the midst of anything and everything I’m going through.

As children of God, we have been blessed with every spiritual blessing, including being sealed in Christ with the promised Holy Spirit. [1]

We are in Christ and He is in us. See also Galatians 2:20a  “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who lives, but Christ lives in me;”

Joy, true joy, is found in our nearness to Christ and His nearness to us.

Joy is eternal, unaffected by the circumstances of our lives. Joy is God himself.

Judy and Joseph love Violet so much. Their whole world was flipped upside down on the day she was born. Months of anticipation and excitement were at once turned to horror and indescribable sadness. Yet through it all, when hearts were crumbling, they clung to each other and choose God’s nearness. They choose to find their comfort in God. They choose joy.

“In your presence is fullness of joy.” 

Challenge:  What circumstance is zapping your joy right now? No matter how difficult your situation is, choose at this moment to rejoice in God’s nearness. In spite of all, choose God, choose joy.

Lord, thank you that in all I go through, you never leave me. Indeed you are closer than breath. You are my joy. Help me continually choose you. Amen

[1] Ephesians 1:3-13